Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I should clear up that this particular incident happened a couple years back and that Art is only an occasional visitor to Japan. He and Akiko
did meet a second time. During that second meeting, Akiko made clear she wanted
at least a physical relationship. And subsequent to that visit, she emailed "special place" cell phone photos to Art. They continued email conversations that diminished over time.
My impression is that the lady is in a difficult position in life, perhaps frustrated with her current situation, but she is not yet divorced and until that has happened she is dreaming.
Yes, I think that is an accurate portrayal. And I think the diminished emails show she has curtailed her dreams and is sticking with her husband.
That still leaves a couple of questions.
First, since Art doesn't live in Japan, he can't be there for her physically. I don't mean sexually, I'm thinking for coffee drinking, chatting and the like. With those "facts on the ground," being her #1 boyfriend would be impossible. The only way they can "be together" would be through marriage. In marriage they could theoretically be in either Japan or the US. Of course, Art never had any intentions along those lines, as the penpal friendship with Akiko was only meant to provide with perspective into Japanese womens' mind. Likewise, Akiko's conversation with Art indicated that she felt stifled by her own marriage and she suggested Art should consider the stifling affect marriage could have on his own life.
Second, how can the presence of the father be explained? For me, it seems strange for a married Akiko to talk about and introduce a man to her father. Actually, as I'm typing things are coming together in my head...she may have told her father of her divorce plans and wanted to show her father there are good men available and he need not worry.