3 = from the LGA "3-1-1" mantra, a unit of measure equal to 3.4 ounces. Origins of "3.0 = 3.4" are sketchy, but may derive from the "2 + 2 = 5" in the DHS organizational manual, 1984.

9/11 = see OBL, same definition.

ADASP = Aviation Direct Access Screening Program = TSOs who walk around the airport grounds performing screening of airline and airport employees, the cabins of airplanes (without climbing on TAT probes) and at some airports also control entrance gates.

AFSD = Assistant Federal Security Director

AFSD-LE = Assistant Federal Security Director for Law Enforcement

AFSD-O = Assistant Federal Security Director for Operations

AFSD-S = Assistant Federal Security Director for Screening

Airline Revenue Protectors = TSO's tasked for matching ID to boarding passes.

ASI = Aviation Security Inspector (aka "TSI" for their old job title, 'Transportation Security Inspector')

Barker = A TSO that's constantly yelling instructions

BDO = Behavior Detection Officer aka SPOTnik

BOLO = Be On the Look Out. Information about an individual who is of interest to law enforcement. May refer to things other than individuals, but cars, for example, are unlikely visitors to a security checkpoint.

Carnival (general) = Refers to any common object that TSA deems needs additional inspection, usually unwarranted. Aside from the common shoe carnival, liquid/water, wallet, and umbrella carnivals have been reported.

CBP = Customs and Border Protection (Border Patrol and customs/immigration officers at ports of entry)

Comrade = Title that is "affectionately" used instead of Mr./Mrs./Ms. for certain DHS officals. Examples: Comrade Chertoff, Comrade Hawley. Herr/Frau/Fraulein are acceptable alternatives

DFS = Dual Function Screener = A TSO who works both in the passenger checkpoint and checked baggage room.

DFSD = Deputy Federal Security Director

DHS = Department of Homeland Security

DoT = Department of Transportation

DoJ = Department of Justice

Dumpster = Particularly problematic TSA checkpoints, usually the nickname for EWR Terminal A. Could also apply well to experiences at DFW.

D-Y-W-T-F-T? = "Do you want to fly today?" (a common refrain from idiot TSOs who are trying to use threats to elicit compliance from passengers)

ETD = Explosive Trace Detection (aka "sniffer")

ETP = Explosive Trace Portal (aka "puffer")

FA = Flight Attendant

FAA = Federal Aviation Administration

FAM = Federal Air Marshal

FAMS = Federal Air Marshal Service

FAMs = Federal Air Marshals

FB = Freedom Baggie AKA Kip Zips, Kip Quart Baggie, Kip Kwarts, after the "KH" of KHIAI AKA Kip or The Kipster = a one quart zip top plastic bag made by the S. C. Johnson Company, having the magical powers of rendering 3.4 ounces or less quantities of high explosive water into ordinary water as long as the zip top is securely closed.

FFDO = Federal Flight Deck Officer. An armed Pilot or First Officer.

FSD = Federal Security Director

FO = First Officer

FOUO = For Official Use Only. Another variety of unclassified but also not for public information.

GSC = Ground Security Coordinator (airline employee responsible for security in their area)

H2O = Dihydrogen Monoxide, the most powerful high explosive on earth according to Nobel Prize for Khemistry Winner Kip Hawley, of KHIAI fame. Can be made more powerful with the addition of best selling orange flavored powdered breakfast beverages, not to be confused with the grape-flavored powdered Flavor Aid beverage which Kip and his loyal followers are fond of.

HHMD = Hand-Held Metal Detector

ICE = Immigration and Customs Enforcement (the investigators of the Immigration/Customs branch)

ID = Identification = easily forgeable documents which "KH" of KHIAI somehow equates with security.

KGB = variations STASI, SS, Gestapo = totalitarian secret police organizations existing prior to the DHS. The underground thumping sound you hear is Stalin and Himmler rolling over in their graves, kicking and screaming over their misfortune to come along 50 years too early, for if only they had the computer power of DHS you would be reading this in German or Russian.

K-H-I-A-I = "Kip Hawley is an idiot." (a common refrain from the public who view the LGA restrictions as the be-all end-all of Kip's tenure in the TSA; comes on t-shirts and plastic bags!)

Kip Hawley/Kip/The Kipster = The current Administrator of the TSA.

Kippie bag = The magical plastic bag that turns exploding liquids into inert substances.

KST = Kabuki Security Theatre = after the Japanese stylized theatre, i.e TSA checkpoint modus operandi, where an impressive display of bluff, barking, blue shirts and badges impresses the he!! out of infrequent flyers, known as Ma and Pa Kettle and/or Sheeple, to the point they predictably say "well, I guess, anything for security" when a reporter shoves a microphone in their face as they wait in the 1 hour checkpoint line in Concourse C for the TDC to shine his UV on their ID.

LEO = Law Enforcement Officer

LES = Law Enforcement Sensitive

LGA = Liquids, Gels, and Aerosols (aka "LAG" - Liquids and Gels)

LTSO = Lead Transportation Security Officer (aka "two-stripers")

Ma and Pa Kettle/The Kettles = A name for the occasional or inexperienced traveller. Sometimes also called Joe SixPack and Granny.

Mag = Magnetometer, more accurately known as a Walk-Through Metal Detector

Michael Chertoff = The current Secretary of Homeland Defense. See also Skeletor below.

Moat dragon = The TSO standing at the WTMD.

MMW = Millimeter Wave portal (aka "electronic strip-search machine")

NFL = No Fly List, a List which cannot be properly be publicly defined, as the Flyertalk word censors and TOS prevent an accurate description, even in OMNI.

NIT = Not an International Terrorist = DHS/TSA employees.

OBL = Osama Bin Laden = and excuse for Bush/Cheney/DHS to trample any right listed in the US Constitution, in public or in secret, often in a sentence containing a variation of "well, you know, it's a different world we live in, post 9/11".

PC = Probable Cause (standard that must be met before a LEO can make an arrest)

PIC = Pilot in Command

PII = Personally Identifiable Information, aka privacy information. This is information that can be used to identify a specific person from the general population, and also requires special government safeguards and protections.

POE = Port of Entry (land or airport entry into the USA)

POP = Pissing off Police (many actual charges are actually some form of this )

RMA = Respect Ma Authoratay = Power tripping atitude by persons given more power than they can handle. Commonly displayed by the same TSO one stripers (see definition) who utter D-Y-W-T-F-T? (see definition)

SBU = Sensitive But Unclassified. A catch-all TLA for all of the large variety of information that is not for public release, but is also not classified. Includes SSI, PII, FOUO, LES, and probably some others.

Selectee = The act of having "SSSS" printed on your boarding card by your air carrier, subjecting you to additional screening at the checkpoint (aka "haraSSSSment," aka "the SSSS treatment")

Sheeple = A tongue-in-cheek term for those passengers that blindly, unquestionably and mindlessly follow all TSA edicts. And are even grateful for being inconvenienced because it's for "my security".

Shoe carnival = Term introduced by Spiff referring to the practice of requiring shoes to removal prior to going thru the WTMD.

SIT = Suspected International Terrorist = every other citizen of planet Earth who is not a DHS/TSA employee.

Skeletor = Nickname for Michael Chertoff as some think he looks like Skeletor, the arch enemy to He-Man. See picture for comparison.

Spiff = Most outspoken TSA disparager on FT.

Spokeshole = TSA PR people tasked with spin and propaganda.

SOP = Standard Operating Procedure, formerly the holy writ by which all TSA screening personnel were expected to perform. Now being cast in the mold more of a guideline.

SPOT = Screening of Passengers by Observation Technique. Those DHS personnel who have been trained in this are known as BDO's or SPOTniks.

SSI = something so secret even HSVTSO Dean had to leave it off his list.

SSSS = The haraSSSSment flag found on boarding passes letting you know that you won the secondary lottery. May or may not be printed as a retaliatory measure.

STSO = Supervisory Transportation Security Officer (aka "three-stripers," aka "sups")

TLA = Three Letter Acronym. Government entities, including TSA, are in love with them. ETLA: Extended Three Letter Acronyms. Government entities love these as well. Used when a TLA just isn't enough.

TSA = Transportation Security Administration

TSAhole = A particularly abusive TSO

TSA love note = Notice of Baggage Inspection. A leaflet/placard left in a passenger's checked baggage indicating the bag was opened up by the TSA in the bag room because it looked weird... and they might have had to cut your locks.

Travel Sentry lock = TSA certified lock that comes with various standarized locks allowing the TSA to open them with a the correctly numbered key. Some are key-only others are key and combonation, some come with a little indicator telling your bag was opened in search/panty raid and that you'll find a notice of inspection/love note inside.

TSM = Transportation Security Manager

TS = Top Secret

TSO = Transportation Security Officer (aka "goons," aka "smurfs," aka "TSAbots," et al)

TDC = Travel Document Checker

UV = Ultra Violet = Blacklight = Magic flashlight = a handheld device for the Government make work program to employ TDCs, who shine it on 2 million IDs per day to make sure none contain the invisible secret phrase "This passenger is really Osama Bin Laden in disguise". Success rate to date = 100%.

VIPR = Visual Intermodal Prevention and Response (taking security screening to baffling new heights using strange techniques in places other than airports)

WTMD = Walk-Through Metal Detector