Spent the bulk of my Monday flying from SBP to HOU, and by the time I had checked into my hotel (The Hotel Derek) I opted to stay on-property for my dinner. Walked down to Bistro Moderne and settled on a light dinner...Gazpacho to start, and their "Blue Crab Cake" entrée.

If you ever find yourself at Bistro Moderne and find yourself in the mood for a crab cake, let me offer one word of advice: "Don't!"

You would think that a crab cake would at least contain a very high percentage of crab. Not at Bistro Moderne. This entrée could be better described on the menu as "bread flakes with a suggestion of crab, deep fried in a truly rancid oil". I actually found myself playing a little game while I took another bite: try to find some crabmeat. What little crab there was in this meal exhibited signs that it was recently revived from a long freeze, and lacked consistency, taste and any visual clue that it was once crab.

The cake (more like a hockey puck than a crab cake) was accompanied by spaghetti squash sautéed with green and red bell peppers. This dish looked and tasted like it was prepared days ago, and had the consistency of mush. As a matter of fact the entire plate could be featured as an 'early bird special' for folks with bad dentures...if not for the fact that the crab cake was breaded and fried in a manner which resulted in a very hard crust.

Tired and defeated, I grabbed my open bottle of rosé and headed back up to my room. A memorable meal...for all the wrong reasons.