Urine Trouble Now: This Week’s Worst Flyers

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Third Place – The Drunk Who Said All The Right Things

In some situations, it’s better to say nothing at all rather than to make things worse by fighting a losing argument. A drunk passenger will probably not convince a flight attendant that it’s okay for him to continue to drink the beers he brought with him on the flight, but that didn’t stop one flyer on an Alaska Airlines flight from giving it his best shot.

Predictably, the drunk passenger’s well-reasoned attempt to make his case didn’t exactly hit all the right notes. His failure to successfully make the cabin crew see reason inspired a great deal of rage from the less-than-eloquent-flyer, although he was able to eventually solicit a thunderous applause from his fellow passengers. Unfortunately, the cheers were mostly for the police officers who were escorting him from the plane which was forced to make an unscheduled stop at Denver International Airport (DEN) on its way to San Diego International Airport (SAN) from Logan International Airport (BOS) on Tuesday.

The passenger made the perplexing claim that he “was not a terrorist” moments before allegedly threatening to cut the crew’s throats with a box cutter. He ended his persuasive speech on the merits of allowing him more alcohol by announcing, “We’re all going to die; You’re all going to die!” The defeated troublemaker then attempted to head to the cockpit to take his case to a higher authority but was prevented from appealing the decision by fellow passengers who wisely blocked his path.

The Runner-up – The Mosquito Menace

Mosquitoes are just the worst. The blood-sucking pests are responsible for the deaths of more people than any other creature on earth. The list of diseases spread by mosquito bites seems to grow every day. Now, birth defects are even being linked to the voracious pests.

As if the scourge of death, disease and misery spread by mosquitoes wasn’t enough to make us hate the dreaded insects, the damned things have started causing flights to be delayed. An Air India flight preparing to depart Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (BOM) was reportedly delayed for more than an hour and a half after passengers were forced to deplane so that the plane could be fumigated because swarms of mosquitoes had boarded the flight as well.

Eyewitnesses reported that the infestation on the plane was so bad that the scene on the plane “resembled a comedy show” with the 125 passengers onboard scratching at bites and swatting the bugs with newspapers. Passengers were reportedly near mutiny before the pilot relented and ordered everyone off the plane so that the “mosquito menace” could be addressed.

Airport officials say the airport’s proximity to the Mithi River and a nearby wood pulp mill are responsible for the swarm. A week before the Air India incidents, a Jet Airways flight was delayed to allow a passenger who refused to fly on a mosquito-infested plane to return to the terminal. BOM administrators say they have reached out to the local authorities for help, but so far, the mosquito situation has not improved.

The Winner – The Shirtless Man Who Learned a Valuable Lesson About Not Peeing on Other Passengers

There is room for debate about air-travel etiquette. A case can be made that reclining one’s seat is a right. It is also reasonable to expect another passenger’s comfort not result in physical pain for other flyers. There are widely differing opinions about proper dress on long-haul flights. There are even some grey areas when it comes to flying with food from home, and it might even be time for a spirited conversation about what qualifies as a legitimate service animal.

One rule of personal conduct, however, that is universally accepted by passengers of every nationality is fairly simple to follow: Don’t urinate on anyone. Unfortunately, this is now the latest social norm that no longer applies to air travel.

The passenger who lowered this particular bar was flying on an Air Mediterranee flight from Algiers International Airport (ALG) to Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport (CDG). The short trip was forced to divert to Lyon–Saint-Exupéry Airport (LYS), not because of the urination incident, but because of the out-and-out brawl that followed after the man started peeing on his fellow passengers.

The man, who was inexplicably shirtless at the time of the alleged incident, was reportedly upset because no one would give him a cigarette. Before the bizarre episode, the shirtless agitator was also heard loudly complaining that alcoholic beverages were not being served on the flight.

The unpleasant situation was brought to an abrupt end after flight attendants restrained the unpleasant passenger. The accused urinator was removed from the plane at LYS along with another passenger involved in the ensuing scuffle.

[Photo: Twitter/EnnaharTvFr]