How Much Do You Know About ‘No-Gos’?

exit sign in a plane in the dark environment

“We’re delayed for what? You’ve got to be kidding.”

I’ve heard this many times, and I totally understand. Many travelers have experienced excruciating delays for reasons that sound so petty or nonsensical that they might sound bogus. Welcome to the world of “no-go items.” When crew members tell flyers we can’t leave depart because, say, an exit sign is missing the light cover, it must sound like we’re making this stuff up.

We’re not. These decisions are controlled by the FAA list of Minimum Emergency Equipment (MEL), the master list of repairs that we cannot defer. We either fix them immediately or we don’t take off.* Most of the things are pretty obviously important, and I’m sure we’re all grateful for those. However, some seem minor and even flight attendants only discover their importance along the way. (It’s equally hard to believe some of the upsetting things we can leave without, like potable water and multiple inoperative lavatories.) Let’s look at a few I’ve heard passengers struggle to understand.

Wet Carpet

That’s right, we cannot leave with wet carpeting in an exit area. This is because if the aircraft should have an emergency landing in water, flight attendants must check the floor area for seepage around and under the door. This is one way of determining, without being able to see from the inside, how the aircraft is positioned. Is the exit usable, or will opening it flood the cabin? It’s not a mistake you want to make (as happened when a passenger opened a back door during the “Miracle on the Hudson” evacuation, U.S. Airways flight 1549).

Missing Emergency Information Cards and/or Demo Equipment

This FlyerTalk discussion is a good demonstration of the things that seem quite petty unless you ever have the bad luck to learn otherwise in a real-life emergency. There has to be an information card in every seat-back pocket and the proper number of demo sets (seat belt extender, dummy life vest and oxygen mask) per aircraft.

Why can’t planes just share in a pinch, some flyers asked? There are multiple reasons that sharing is an impractical idea, but the biggest is because if we have a “planned emergency” (with time to prepare before an expected problem upon landing) we need the demo equipment on hand, in-flight. In a planned emergency things have to be done in a very specific way. There’s no place for holding up our list of time-sensitive tasks for the passing off and sharing of equipment – just as frightened passengers can’t be expected to share emergency information cards as they desperately try to learn, in a sweaty panic, what they didn’t pay attention to or understand from the safety video (especially if passengers don’t speak the language and require the graphics). Trust me, I’ve had an unplanned emergency. Passengers and crews alike all want every little thing they’ve been trained to expect and are supposed to have.

How does that equipment go missing? People take weird things for souvenirs. Info cards can get torn up from use (we do carry extras). The seat belts are easily misplaced because they also serve as extenders to assist passengers who struggle to fit the standard seat belts, so they end up scattered through the cabin. Some of these passengers prefer to “acquire” their own rather than deal with the often embarrassing situation of having to request one each time.

Broken Overhead Lights

“I have broken cabin lights all the time,” you might think. Sadly true, but not all lights are equal. Some cabin lights contain mercury and could create a hazmat situation if broken. These kinds have to be cleaned up and changed before departure — so you better hope the right kind is on hand. In my experience, these lights get broken when passengers insistently try to sling and shove oversized bags into overhead bins. So take care.

Lavatory Ashtrays

It seems nonsensical to demand ashtrays in a place where people aren’t allowed to smoke, but the point is to have a proper receptacle for the people who regularly insist on trying anyway. Given my biggest in-flight emergency fear, it is better than the likely alternative: cigarette butts in a trash can buried by paper towels!

Of course, these are but a few of the surprises that can pop up during boarding and ruin a well-laid travel plan. This list can seem endless, from rodents to faulty trash can lids to missing stickers to aisle wheelchairs gone MIA to condensation on the viewing window of a door. Sometimes even the flight attendants are taken by surprise when an innocent report to the pilots comes back with workday-ruining news.

When in doubt about a seemingly silly delay, ask the cabin crew if they know the background. You might get a surprisingly insightful answer – and if not, oh well, you can roll your eyes together.

*Some items have exceptions attached that allow for a flight take-off if certain alternate conditions can be met/arranged.

[Photo: Getty Images]