5 Questions Every Flight Attendant Hates Hearing
Sarah Steegar November 18, 2014
As a flight attendant, answering questions is part of the deal. That’s cool. I like being helpful. But there are certain questions that I dread because the passenger expects a very different ending to the situation than I do. Here are my top five.
1. I’m not sitting with my friend/spouse/relative/etc. Can you swap people around to get us together?
I know it’s no fun to travel separated, but I have no real authority to make people move*. If you’re asking me it means you saw that the seat map was full, you didn’t try at the gate (where it should be handled) and/or the agents have already said they couldn’t do anything. If it was easy it would have been done already, right? Agents often pass this buck to us, and we simply have nowhere else to pass it. I have little power here, but you’re standing there looking so unhappy that it’s hard to say no.
On packed flights it’s a real challenge, like reorganizing Tetris pieces, except I’m looking at it under a time crunch. After all, I have a list of safety and FAA requirements to fulfill –- which I have to prioritize. But you’re not really aware of all that. You just wanna be with your friend/spouse/relative/etc.! I understand.
I also know that when other unhappy passengers see me rearranging, I might end up in the aisle surrounded by “me too”s waving boarding passes at me. This is why I’ll sigh inside.
2. Can I just sit in that open Business/First Class seat?
C’mon, you know you can’t. Why you gotta make me the bad guy?
3. I have a tight connection, can you make an announcement asking everyone to let me off first?
Rarely does this work. Even if other passengers play along, many of you Tight Connectors are sure to be seated in window or middle seats. Others will have to get up to let you out. Then the aisle is clogged with their bodies. The Tight Connectors can’t get down the aisle and now we’re deplaning like usual, or worse, because now those that got up to let you out are “out of order” and need to get back into the row to retrieve their under-the-seat bags. Traffic jam. It’s a mess. It didn’t help.
But sometimes when I say this, I get a look like I’m just making excuses not to help. I don’t want that, and I know it’ll make you feel better if I make the announcement. So I’ll do it. No biggie, except I feel like I’ve set you up for more frustration.
4. Can you lift my bag for me?
If you’re the type to insist, you might think I’m lazy for declining. This is not something most U.S. airlines do anymore* and for good reason — airlines don’t want their crews out with constant bag injuries.
Many passengers do not seem to realize or care that if they can get hurt lifting their bag, I can get hurt. If that happens I’m stuck with the fall out while the passenger skips away. Workers Comp can just say it wasn’t part of my job. I agree bag fees stink, but my medical bills will definitely cost more. I’m careful not to bring more than I can lift, and if I do, I check it. My bag is my responsibility. That’s how I (literally) roll. Everyone should.
5. Do you have a pen?
It’s a harmless question, it’s just, lots of passengers get really offended if I don’t.
Even if it’s simply because I already gave it away, they sometimes snap with things like, “Doesn’t your airline give you pens?” (They don’t.) I could ask back, “Why are you mad at me? Did you not know you’d need a pen when you travel? At least for customs forms?” But I don’t heart conflict, so I don’t.
I probably do have a pen, but I need it for lots things throughout the flight, and I know what’s going to happen: I’ll make them promise to give it back. They’ll promise, but 95 percent of the time, they won’t. When I go to chase it down they’ve passed it on to they-don’t-remember-who or lost it or chewed it up. Now I have to find a new one (over and over and over). That’s not frustrating at all! It’s just a pen. Smile.
If you’re in First or Business try your amenity kit. If you’re in Coach, maybe ask that person next to you — the one using a pen for their forms — which they’ll be done with in three minutes. But if you insist on asking me, sure, we’ll go through the dance in the paragraph above.
The theme here is not that you shouldn’t ask for assistance. Ask away! It’s that some of the most innocuous-sounding requests carry the most potential conflict — but only one of us sees it lurking. So if you’ve ever asked one of these and thought the flight attendant grimaced for just a moment, you probably weren’t imagining it. She was just dreading whatever comes after her answer, no matter how gently she said it.
*Unless talking about special need passengers like young children, the infirm or passengers with disabilities.
[Photo: iStock]
@ VaguelyAsian. Or Try Again Not. She is exactly right. That is exactly the way Workman's Comp works to deny FA's or any other employees claim of being injured on while on the job. Since she's just made up and posted that lie and should "try again," it because she doesn't want to pick up the passengers bag give that a whirl with your own job and see how it works out for you: Go against a safety policy set by your company or employer and get injured while doing so. Go to urgent care or the ER room and when they ask you "So what happened? Tell them you were injured at work and what you were doing. When the Dr.tells you that unfortunately you will not be able to return to this job for 4? 6? weeks because doing so could cause worst damage or result in permanent injury at this point I hope you are independently wealthy and can afford this time off work and possibly even paying for that medical bill because at that moment that you answered that it happened at work a potential workman's comp claim has been initiated by your response and likely before when your immediate supervisor filled out an incident report after learning you had been hurt at work. If not, it definately will become one when you go to tell your boss you cannot preform your job because for X number of weeks & present him documentation from your physician. Unless you are prepared to waiver your paid time off or sick days which likely won't be allowed even if you volunteer it because if determined you did follow safety and still got hurt, workman's comp insurance is put in place for that, however but since, for you, "it doesn't work like that", it will be determined that your negligence resulted in your injury by ignoring safety procedures put in place, "try again" because the time you are out of work will not be covered by workman's comp, possibly medical bill unless you have very forgiving health insurance, not likely from an employer policy and if not reprimanded, the time you have to take off can be unpaid, depending on employers sick leave, paid time off policy if allowed to use that which would be best case scenario if you want to get a check for that medical leave you are required to take.
The pen one makes perfect sense when they hand you the immigration/customs form to fill out. Sometimes they even hand you the form at the end of the flight, after the seat belt light has gone on for the duration. How do you expect me to comply with the seat belt sign and get my pen from the overhead? Physically impossible. So either hand out the forms earlier, or provide me with a pen. I have been on several foreign airlines that bring a tray of pens along with the forms. That's the way to do it.
Do you have the special meal I requested? It must become depressing to answer this question about someone else's failure to perform. The door has been closed and I am stuck foodless on a long flight. Sometimes the special request is honored. Sometimes not. The pax feels jilted and the cabin crew has no control over this. The only way I can guarantee that my meal will be boarded is to bring along a special meal picnic.
My FA has far more important things than to hand me a pen that I should have brought along and kept in a convenient place. Either ask the person next to you to borrow his or her pen or bring your own. Period.
I agree with the seating issue. If you want to be sat next to each other then pay for it. A small extra amount to pay to ensure you sit next to other people in your party is nothing compared to the amount of money you have paid for your trip. Then people have the cheek to complain to the airline that they were not sat next to each other on a full flight and demand compensation for the 'inconvenience.' Simple answer is tough luck should have got your seats in advance and airlines generally won't compensate for this as there was ample opportunity to sit next to travelling companions.