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Tower, We Have “Houston” Problem

Last week’s story about a woman who refused to stop singing “I Will Always Love You” in flight was curious. “Why is this story quite so popular?” was one question, as was, “What was that lady’s deal?” Both are a mystery, but what I really wondered was, “Why did the Air Marshals intervene?” I’m not…

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I’ve Found a Place I Like… Los Angeles

When I left Los Angeles, the home of my painful childhood, painful adolescence, disproportionately celebrated twenties, and mostly frustrated, depressed early and mid-thirties, I wouldn’t have minded a bit if someone had told me that I’d never again be allowed within the city limits. For around 18 months, it had seemed impossible for me to…

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Worried About a Flight? Then Call Linda Lauren, Travel Psychic!

You’re all packed. You’ve decanted all your essential fluids into bottles small enough to appease the TSA. Downloaded a couple of intriguing-sounding books to your Kindle, and packed some nutritious snacks. Checked in online, and arranged to be picked up by the airport shuttle service with the best reviews on Yelp. You’re good to go….

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Is This the Dullest Town in Britain?

Everyone, including this American boy, agrees that Ramsgate, about as far east as one can go in Great Britain without plunging into the English Channel, is an odd place for an American boy to be living. I think it’s an odd place for anyone to be living, given the rapacity of the seagulls and the…

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What Not to Sing on Airplanes

This past week, an American Airlines flight from LAX to JFK made an emergency landing in Kansas City after an obstreperous female passenger somehow made the flight crew feel jeopardized by refusing to cease performing songs associated with the late Whitney Houston. Video footage taken by another passenger (in spite of one of the jeopardized-feeling…

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How I Deal with Angry Passengers

You know what they say. Be careful what you wish for. That’s what I would say to passengers who like to pick fights. I don’t mean legitimate talk about a problem or even a bit of venting after a hard travel day. I mean people who deal with a bad day by spreading it around….

10_Reading-lead

What Should You Read on Vacation?

I find that I remember particular vacations primarily on the basis of what I read on them. Reminiscing earlier about my and my bride’s visit to Cyprus, I realized that I remember reading Jonathan Franzen’s sublime The Corrections very much more vividly than anything else about our week there. I can remember reading a scene…

09_Cyprus-lead

I Find Cyprus Quite Dull, Don’t You?

Aside from the time I and Original Wife realized ourselves passengers on a bus on which a psychopath with a very large knife was riding, my most awful travel experience took place on the island of Cyprus. Second Wife and I had booked ourselves onto a minivan tour of the Greek portion of the island,…

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My Travel Horror Story: The Worst Bus Ride in Hawaii

Once having gotten away from the clamor and commercialization of Honolulu, it’s hard to have a rotten time on Oahu, but I managed it, with a little help from a guy who looked, in his wild hair and beard and indigent’s attire, more like the frontman of the popular ’70s British progressive rock act Jethro…

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Do Flight Attendants Have One of the Worst Jobs?

It’s true that the job can be thankless, but it’s also a rare tool, rich in unique rewards. In what other job can you control your own schedule – and fill that free time with high-minded hobbies or outrageous mobility?…