As others have said it all comes down to location. My suggestion would be to split between Orange County and Los Angeles. The Pelican Hill Resort is the nicest resort hotel in OC, the Montage Laguna has a better location but the rooms and facilities at Pelican are a level above in my opinion.
Montage Beverly Hills has the best location in LA, you can walk to so many different things and BH is very central. Casa Del Mar is great if you want to be in Santa Monica, Shutters on the Beach is their sister property and would be my preference between the two.
If you want Santa Barbara you can't beat Bacara.
Grand Del Mar just became Fairmont so is likely still at a higher end in terms of quality, people love it and love San Diego too.