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I feel guilty planning trips without my adult kids

I feel guilty planning trips without my adult kids

Old Oct 5, 20, 4:54 pm
  #1  
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I feel guilty planning trips without my adult kids

Whenever I start to plan a trip, I start wishing my kids were going (all adults with significant others) and I stop planning because they cannot afford it and I cannot afford paying for them and their partners. I see all these wonderful places to go and feel guilty for not bringing them. I am a new "empty nester" so perhaps I will get over it? My youngest child just moved out six months ago. (I think he did not want to quarantine with mom!) Anyone else feel this way?
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Old Oct 5, 20, 5:03 pm
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One of the reasons I collect points is to "gift" trips to my family. Maybe it's just moving Chase points to UA and booking tickets for my son to go to Denver by himself, that is fun for me. So think about whether you are positioned to pay for yourself and use points for the kids. My children are adults now but in normal times we do take at least one big trip together each year.
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Old Oct 5, 20, 5:10 pm
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Thank you and I do have a lot of points but even then they cannot afford hotel and meals, not at this stage of life. One child is in college with a significant other that she would never leave at home, the second child hates to travel, and the oldest is going through a divorce with kids. You bring up a great suggestion. Maybe there is something I can do more local with them each year to balance out my guilt of taking international trips without them. Thank you!
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Old Oct 5, 20, 5:36 pm
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Originally Posted by poptarts View Post
Thank you and I do have a lot of points but even then they cannot afford hotel and meals, not at this stage of life. One child is in college with a significant other that she would never leave at home, the second child hates to travel, and the oldest is going through a divorce with kids. You bring up a great suggestion. Maybe there is something I can do more local with them each year to balance out my guilt of taking international trips without them. Thank you!
Hotel points and status will cover your stay, and perhaps many meals.
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Old Oct 6, 20, 10:34 am
  #5  
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Originally Posted by xooz View Post
One of the reasons I collect points is to "gift" trips to my family.
Yeah, me too.

Back when I was actively chasing miles and points (i.e., I had a job ) I started out just me and the wife, but it soon expanded into the rest of the crew.

At one point, I had my entire family (5 kids and their SO's) all bundled off to Ireland for a few weeks, pretty much all with miles/points. A couple years later, there were six of us in a little villa in Beaulieu-sur-mer, and then off to Paris and London. More actual cash involved, but still mostly miles/points.

I'm still looking at nearly a million miles and half-million hotel points "in the bank" - but nowhere to go;
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Old Oct 9, 20, 6:27 am
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Nowhere is it engraved in granite that you have to take a grown child with you. I have a friend, like you whose sons are grown with families of their own, and she travels to all kinds of exotic places on her own and has a ball. There are plenty of tour operators out there who cater to single and older travelers and she usually goes with one of those. Every few years, though, she counts up her accumulated miles (like BigLar) and takes everyone somewhere - usually a cruise.

As for me, I always take my unmarried daughter. Not so much for the company, but because she totes the luggage, fetches coffee or tea, and generally smooths the way for her gimpy old mother. Because I have disabilities I would have trouble on my own, but once the travel bug has bitten, I'd find a way to go.
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Old Oct 14, 20, 7:50 pm
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Originally Posted by Flyingmama View Post
Nowhere is it engraved in granite that you have to take a grown child with you.
Exactly.

My now-adult kid's taste has diverged from mine for the most part. He is living at home through the pandemic and would happily stay home with the cats if I were able to travel to someplace on my Top 10 list. However between COVID and the financial beating I've taken this year, it will be quite a while before I can travel again.
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Old Oct 14, 20, 9:25 pm
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They'll be planning trips without you before you know it.
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Old Oct 16, 20, 9:20 pm
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OMG, too funny! You are so right! I doubt they are going to worry about not inviting me!
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Old Oct 17, 20, 2:25 pm
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I do go with adults kids but infrequently and never all together
Mostly it’s their work or kids school that don’t allow a common time frame
when I do travel with kids I pay for flights and hotels often with points
Right now the points are piling up cause I don’t foresee travel for at least a year
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