Tipping for large group meals
 

Hi all,

just doing my expense report and one thing came to my mind... I'm quite well traveled including the US for years but as European from a non-tipping country, there is one thing I just can't wrap my head around. I'm ok tipping 15% to 20% for a good service. For a $100 to $150 tipping up to $20 seems ok, assuming the waiter, waitress did spend about an hour to an hour and half serving my party. Often they split with the team and then get to some decent $5 extra per hour, time 4 tables they server, makes it $20 and the not getting paid a living wage should be compensated, right?

I just paid for a dinner with prospect customers at a mid to upscale restaurant. For an 8 person table a check of $750. I tipped $100, which is below the minimum recommended 15% but in my opinion $100 is more than enough. We were served by just one girl and she didn't spend much more time serving us, than the table next door with 3 persons. We ordered, ate and left within 90 minutes and I didn't see her go way out of her way to make our evening special. But still... Was I too cheap? Should I tip more, or was I even to generous? In Germany or Sweden (being a German living in Sweden ;) ), leaving 20 to 25 EUR would be very generous, more than 50 EUR crazy... but then, we do pay our restaurant staff ;)

So, in general, how do you handle group meals and tips?

Thanks,
fassy

I don't tip a lower percentage because of party size or total bill amount.

It sounds as though you received competent service so you should have left at least 15%. No matter your opinion on tipping in the US it is part of our cultural norm. Do you like it when foreign visitors cherry pick how they abide by your cultural norms because "that's not how we do it where I'm from"? An honest mistake is one thing but you didn't make a mistake. I've waited tables and party of 8, particularly in nicer restaurants, is a lot of work (and a lot work that you don't see).

Another thing to keep in mind is restaurants deduct income tax from that server's check based on a percentage of the total bill amounts. In nicer restaurants I've seen that percentage be 15% or higher because that's the normal range of overall tips. If that server works in a restaurant that taxes above 13.3% she potentially had to pay taxes on money she didn't actually earn.

My wife is a restaurant server. I won't get into the pro/con of the US custom of having the customer subsidize the server's pay, but we have to agree in this instance that standard US tipping customs should apply.

If there are 8 people at the table, your server did twice the work for a 4-top and 4x the work for a 2-top. Just because she spent no noticeable extra time at your table does not mean she deserves to be paid less - in fact, that shows that she was on top of her game and provided very efficient service.

That's why tipping is proportional to check amount. If 8 people sit and they order one appetizer and a round of drinks, there is much less to do than 8 full dinners with two rounds of drinks and dessert. The app/drink bill for 8 will be much less and the server was required to do less work than the full service 8-top, and the tip should also be larger.

My wife just switched to days and her restaurant is attached to a hotel. They bumped her hourly from $2.85 to $6.00 because the comp'ed breakfast crowd tends to skip tipping. Personally, I leave $5 or 15-20% (whichever is higher) of the actual meal retail price for any free meal that I have served at a hotel (eg. Hilton Garden Inn).

I'd just be mindful of biases in online and especially anonymous threads about tipping.

Nobody's going to tell you that the amount you tipped is satisfactory, simply because there's no convention that the tip percentage is reduced for large bills at a restaurant.* However, you can be certain that a large percentage of diners would have tipped just as you did (or less).

* There is such a convention for food delivery.

I actually was trying to be just the opposite of hostile. You asked a question and I answered, hopefully with some additional information you weren't aware of or hadn't considered. You clearly cared enough to ask the question so I believe it matters to you. Tipping is a touchy issue and I've had to learn to go against my tipping instinct when travelling so I don't offend someone by tipping too much.

Some additional perspective on high tip amounts....
Expensive restaurants hire and generally are able to keep the best servers in their area. In an industry with very high turnover, coupled with lousy working hours, usually you are getting among the best in the business. It's appropriate to pay a lot in tips if your experience was good. It's often no coincidence if it was.

Easiest just to go with local custom without overthinking it. Even if it feels uncomfortable or rubs the wrong way, it's only temporary until you get home

This is the key. The convention in the US is 15-20%, with 20% being more frequent than not. This is not about how many minutes at what rate, it is about service and the fact that at most decent places -- hopefully this was at $90+ per head -- that ip is being split with others working on the meal whom you don't see.

Don't try to overthink these things, just figure the percentage and be done with it. I don't question Swedish norms when in Sweden.

No need to bow your head in shame. $100 tip at a mid priced chain restaurant for a server who did not spend extra time etc is perfectly fine. I can guarantee you that most American do not tip 20% of the bill. A table of 8 is not a huge crowd where they needed to bring in extra staff or compromise other tables.

One reason we have cheap food in restaurants is the fact that restaurants are not required to pay minimum wage. It is true that servers are paid below minimum wage. The employer takes taxes out based on minimum wage for hours worked. It is up to the server to claim any cash tips they receive and not accounted for in their paid wages ( yeah that happens 100% of the time).

Tip is for good service. It is not a guaranteed percentage. The server should do something other than provide good/acceptable service to get anything over 10-15%. A 20% tip should be earned with exceptional service and not just because you showed up to eat and they did their basic job. A good server knows this and works for tips. The ones that complain usually don't provide exceptional service.

Seems like I disagree with most people here. I'm located in SF, wife is a server in a fairly upscale restaurant downtown. On a slow night shes coming home with what ends up being around $24-30/hr, good nights upwards of $50-70/hr. While I know she tries her absolute best to make every guest have a great experience & leave happy, she & I both agree she ends up grossly overpaid at the end of the night... I'm a 1st yr financial analyst in the city as well & most nights she out-earns me. 4 years of school + secondary education certificates vs a high school degree & excellent customer service skills. Obviously she appreciates generous tips & anything over 15% is fantastic.

To me, it sounds like you were quick, non needy & a generally pleasant customer. Which, in and of itself is a benefit to the servers. My wife always says she'd prefer a smaller tip if the customer is pleasant. Tipping $100 for a single server for 90 mins of service is great. Especially as she had other tables she needed to tend to. If she was solely focused on you & provided you over-the-top attention, then yes tip more! But, even after they pay taxes, potentially split with busser/hostess, they won't come out with less than $30/hr from just you alone. For them providing you good but not great service, I think it's completely fair & IMHO generous.

Speaking only as a 24 year old living in SF (Utah previously) & no knowledge about the rest of the US, my friends don't have the same tipping "culture" as our parents generation. We don't expect, nor tip ourselves, the same %'s that others do.