Phantom Flatulator on flight TPA-CLT

 

Old Dec 30, 07, 9:30 pm
  #1
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Phantom Flatulator on flight TPA-CLT

I was in 7D and the guy somewhere around 5C kept the rest of us holding our noses the entire flight... for almost 3 hours total (took different route to avoid weather + boarding was longer than normal). As we were trying to not breathe through our noses, almost everyone on my row was laughing to themselves and trying to not laugh out loud. I've never encountered this on a flight before....

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Last edited by MagnoliaBeauty; Dec 30, 07 at 9:40 pm
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Old Dec 30, 07, 10:25 pm
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If you pop an immodium about an hour before the flight, it'll keep you out of the head, but it'll give you wicked, plane-shaking gas. Chances are it was just a guy who was uncomfortable with the idea of using airplane toilets, and did just that.

*NOTE* It wasn't me, I wasn't on that flight.
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Old Dec 30, 07, 10:42 pm
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*lol* and on UA forum we were just discussing the finer details of how to release gas without alerting other pax.

I give this person an F. Poor execution.
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Old Dec 30, 07, 10:51 pm
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They sell Gas-X in most airport gift stores... I've bought it at airports (and try to keep it in my travel case) just in case! It really works!

Of course, I'm sure at times I have been that phantom - it's why seat 1D is my favorite - easy access to the lav

The one time I knew it would be an issue I warned the FA that I had food poisoning and was having gastrointestinal issues... she had some air freshener with her that she spritzed into the cabin occasionally - she was very discreet and it was both needed and helpful. I gave her 2 A&Bs
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Old Dec 31, 07, 10:20 am
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Originally Posted by bhmlurker View Post
*lol* and on UA forum we were just discussing the finer details of how to release gas without alerting other pax.

I give this person an F. Poor execution.
Well, if it had been the "silent killer" type that creeps slowly through the surrounding areas, that would have almost been better.

This one was not very silent (i.e. people a few rows back from me could hear it), and it seemed to move from row to row within seconds of being executed. I wish I knew how far back it went, but I was trying too hard not to giggle as I watched my movie (the sounds from that didn't drown out the noise either!) and I didn't look behind me much after we took off.


BostonMark, I wish we'd had your crew on this flight! Spraying anything to help mask the odor would have been much appreciated!
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Old Dec 31, 07, 12:26 pm
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Probably was my father in law.
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Old Dec 31, 07, 8:12 pm
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Originally Posted by MagnoliaBeauty View Post
This one was not very silent (i.e. people a few rows back from me could hear it),
Reminds me of a late-night flight that I was a regular on -- TWA from STL to BOS (last flight of the evening).

I had a similarly flatulent seatmate in first class, and finally, the flight attendant walked up to him after he trumpeted a particularly loud one and said "Sir, PLEASE, the restrooms are up front, the seatbelt light is off, and the AIR IS GETTING STALE!"

He turned crimson and proceeded to make at least half a dozen bathroom runs for the remainder of the flight.
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Old Dec 31, 07, 9:06 pm
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I had this happen on a flight recently. We were on the beverage cart in the middle of the airplane and someone in the vicinity of the exit rows let out an SBD. Never heard it coming, but the smell was so vile that I'm surprised the oxygen masks didn't deploy. It was at the end of a 14 hour day, and I was flying with one of my best friends. We were already slap happy from the long duty day, and this just about did us in. Both of us got a severe case of the giggles so badly that we couldn't make eye contact with each other without one of us almost losing composure. I finally excused myself from the cart and went to the galley to get my "laughs" out. I know you probably think it sounds very immature, but some times even grownups find "potty humor" as funny as our kids.
Here's a little vocabulary lesson for some of you. You know what f/a's call it when they have gas and walk through the cabin releasing it? Crop dusting.
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Old Jan 1, 08, 9:20 am
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Originally Posted by GalleyWench View Post
We were on the beverage cart in the middle of the airplane and someone in the vicinity of the exit rows let out an SBD. Never heard it coming, but the smell was so vile that I'm surprised the oxygen masks didn't deploy.

FUNNY!!

OK, here's my tale of woe. Flying from Sao Paulo to JFK (9 hours) on Varig, I sat next to a woman who obviously moonlights as a methane-gas generator. The ironic part is that I thought I had good seating because I had a window seat and there was a bulkhead in front of me, so I had better legroom, too. Plus, there was only one row behind me, then another bulkhead behind that row. A nice, cozy "cabin", right? Well, the dual-bulkhead configuration only made the gas linger longer.
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Old Jan 1, 08, 11:28 am
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I can't believe ... that I opened this thread and the similar one by
wiggums on UA ... the question I have for all you wise arses, er,
wise persons is why the airlines persist on serving meals heavy on
the beans, cheese, and cabbage products.
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Old Jan 1, 08, 10:43 pm
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Last year May, I was on an EWR-LAS flight when a guy sitting in front of me let out a real rip-roarer. At the same time, there was a group of five professional comedians making their way to LAS who sat a few rows ahead of us. One of the comedians immediately made a vocal imitation of something that you would hear at a chemical weapons research lab: a mechanical voice announcing "Warning, warning: toxic gases have been released. Evac immediately!" followed by sirens and horns. The entire plane erupted in laughter and the poor chap who cut the wind got up and made a bee-line to the aft lav.

And I do have to say that Michael Winslow is pure genius!
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Old Jan 2, 08, 10:15 pm
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Originally Posted by GalleyWench View Post
Here's a little vocabulary lesson for some of you. You know what f/a's call it when they have gas and walk through the cabin releasing it? Crop dusting.
ROTFLMAO.
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Old Jan 2, 08, 10:20 pm
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Originally Posted by GalleyWench View Post
I had this happen on a flight recently. We were on the beverage cart in the middle of the airplane and someone in the vicinity of the exit rows let out an SBD. .....Here's a little vocabulary lesson for some of you. You know what f/a's call it when they have gas and walk through the cabin releasing it? Crop dusting.
I'm not sure if the true meaning of SBD is as funny as the one's I'm making up... What is it?
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Old Jan 2, 08, 10:26 pm
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Originally Posted by ludocdoc View Post
I'm not sure if the true meaning of SBD is as funny as the one's I'm making up... What is it?
SBD = Silent But Deadly

(Right?)
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Old Jan 2, 08, 10:29 pm
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Originally Posted by tommyleo View Post
The ironic part is that I thought I had good seating because I had a window seat and there was a bulkhead in front of me, so I had better legroom, too.
"Maam, you know these windows don't open, right?"
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