Flush the fish
 

I've been meaning to say something about this for a couple weeks, and Prmex just reminded me.

I do not like fish when I board
I do not like them to look toward.
I do not mean to be unkind
But they steal the sound from channel nine.
I do not like them, they are not topical.
I do not like them even though they are tropical.
When I board I want to booze it,
not listen to awful new age music.
I do not like fish when I board
I do not like them to look toward.

...and I do not like green eggs and ham.

I must say that I have seen some passengers focused intently on the screen with a trail of drool dripping from their open mouths. Perhaps they are receiving some sort of secret subliminal message by the airline?

I say give the fishies "the hook."

Which airline have you been sailing?

Why, the Friendly Skies, of course! United has started playing a boarding video with underwater scenes accompanied by some New Age music. You know, music to calm the savage beasts? It's only been playing for a short while, but if you travel alot like me, you already know every carp by heart.

I travel a lot on UA. I think by now I've adapted to tuning out those things.

CAN'T...TUNE...OUT! MUST...WATCH! MUST OBEY! FISH...ARE...GOOD! UNITED...IS...GOOD! I...AM...HAPPY! VERY...HAPPY!

They can't control the volume either. May last flight, so many people crowded the asiles during boarding to try to get back up front to ask that the fish be turned off that the plane was delayed taking off.

That is a unique way to make passangers relax. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Now, what would happen if they played those sounds that are suppose to counter loud noises, such as the sound of an airplane engine, over their speakers instead of bubbles? Now that would be relaxing, Sam I am.

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g'day
wl

Dr. Seuss runs loose!

I too do not like those little fishes whether in video or many times in airline food form.

On the Heathrow express they kept showing this video of barn owls with the end message they have no enemies but one... MAN (that's us!)

After the fifth showing I wanted to flush the owl with the fishies.

I guesss the only fishes that are tolerable come in bite sized crackers: Pepperridge Farms Goldfishes (Come ON Matt you must like them!!)

Now if U-A needs better boarding video I can give them video of my darling cats Yaz & Eddie at play, at mischief, at sleep. For a fee (or M-P miles!) http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

And New age music... bleh.

Like John Tesh Music.

It makes me very very ill!~

No you have it all wrong

The fish are in fact the latest in technology on United.

Here try the following next time you fly United...

1. Ask FA for fish
2. Get fish
3. Place fish in your ear

The fish will now act as a Universal translator enabling you to understand every word of any language spoken by anyone. Very useful for international air travel.

[Read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy]

cheers Peter

Oh, no, catman, don't flush the goldfish crackers. Those things are as addictive as opium (or so I am told...not that I'D know!).

TG had a similar fish-themed boarding video last month, but there was no intrusive music...

Aha! I finally know what you're talking about! (I just flew TPA/ORD/CMH on Friday the 14th--2 757s. They weren't playing TPA/ORD, but they were ORD/CMH.

I have the perfect antidote (to seeing them)--sit in rows 1 or 2 (they retract the front screen during boarding! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

JL

OMNI: Maybe U-A should ahve a contest that instead of that fishy video that M=P members should send in videos of their fun experiences (G rated of course!) They could use the best ones for boarding video and give up lets say, 25K miles as a bonus.

Imagine boarding and seeing the antics of PremEx member Mark Blanchard's wonderful CATS YAZ & EDDIE!!!

And yes, Matt Wald. You should not flush Pepperidge Farms Goldfish. There are many children and overgrown children like myself who can go through a whole bag in one setting (And I'm taking about the BIG BAG at COSCO!!! not the airline version.)

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
Three fish, four fish...
no more fish!

-Dr. Seuss

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g'day
wl