Jokes you can play on UA employees.
Oct 12, 2006, 10:03 pm
#151
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Washington, D.C.
Programs: UA Premier 1K: PlAAtinum; DL SM, MM; Marriott Gold; CO Plat Emeritus; NW Plat Emeritus
Posts: 4,776
Have your family wait on the lawn to greet your guests and take their hat and coats. Then if lots of them show up at once -- especially your best friends -- have all but one of your family go inside to take a break.
Even though you invited them for 7:00, tell them you've now confirmed them for the 4:00 dinner due to a schedule change. When they say they can't manage the new time and ask for the 8:00 dinner they know you invited other friends for, tell them they can't have it because your spouse is cooking -- even though your spouse was cooking the original 7:00.
Even though you invited them for 7:00, tell them you've now confirmed them for the 4:00 dinner due to a schedule change. When they say they can't manage the new time and ask for the 8:00 dinner they know you invited other friends for, tell them they can't have it because your spouse is cooking -- even though your spouse was cooking the original 7:00.
Oct 12, 2006, 10:54 pm
#152
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: RMQ
Programs: UA 1K Marriott T.E. Hertz PC
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by pinniped
Oooo...one more:
When they arrive, tell them that their scheduled 3PM dinner has now been delayed until 8PM. Tell them to leave.
When they return at 7:30PM, tell them "Sorry, your dinner actually took place at 4:30PM. Where were you?"
When they arrive, tell them that their scheduled 3PM dinner has now been delayed until 8PM. Tell them to leave.
When they return at 7:30PM, tell them "Sorry, your dinner actually took place at 4:30PM. Where were you?"
Oct 13, 2006, 12:05 am
#154
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: I'm the BOS
Programs: UA G-1MM/*G, B6 Mosaicm, DL G, HH S, Bonvoy(...?) Plat, Avis PS, Hertz 5*, Nat ExVIP
Posts: 1,105
Originally Posted by letiole
Since they are still entitled to dinner tonight, you will reaccommodate them at McDonald's.
Timothy
How about DH? Oh. Hrm. How about our code share partner, US?
Oct 13, 2006, 5:04 am
#155
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Programs: UA*Lifetime GS, Hyatt* Lifetime Globalist
Posts: 12,318
Classic thread. ^ ^
I just found out about it from Talkmail. I was out of country the whole time when this thread was active... sorry to miss the great laughs.
That will be great, and I hope all the people on this board take the remarks lightly and have great laughs.
I just found out about it from Talkmail. I was out of country the whole time when this thread was active... sorry to miss the great laughs.
Originally Posted by ClipperClub
I think I should start a thread about how the UA employee can play the role of 'customer' too.....
That will be great, and I hope all the people on this board take the remarks lightly and have great laughs.
Oct 13, 2006, 5:38 am
#156
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Washington, D.C.
Programs: DL GM, UA 1P, AA GLD
Posts: 1,963
Serve a really crappy meal but talk it up:
Tuna noodle casserole (the kind with condensed mushroom soup and frozen peas) would be described as:
Tender and buttery pasta ribbons complemented with wild green sweet peas, accented with porcini and button mushrooms and generous pieces of albacore. Garnished with delightfully crisp yellow onions and finished in a rich cream sauce.
Tuna noodle casserole (the kind with condensed mushroom soup and frozen peas) would be described as:
Tender and buttery pasta ribbons complemented with wild green sweet peas, accented with porcini and button mushrooms and generous pieces of albacore. Garnished with delightfully crisp yellow onions and finished in a rich cream sauce.
Oct 13, 2006, 6:26 am
#157
Suspended
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 13,344
Originally Posted by sowalsky
Serve a really crappy meal but talk it up:
Tuna noodle casserole (the kind with condensed mushroom soup and frozen peas) ...
Tuna noodle casserole (the kind with condensed mushroom soup and frozen peas) ...
Oct 13, 2006, 6:47 am
#158
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: CLT
Programs: US CP, SPG Gold
Posts: 592
Originally Posted by shisochou
Have a huge bag of ice available for the party. When your guests arrive, spend 10 or so minutes pounding the ice bag as loudly as possible.
Oct 13, 2006, 8:36 am
#159
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: NY (Formerly SF)
Programs: UA GS/1K, SPG Platinum
Posts: 186
awesome
A few more late entries:
Replace your doorbell with a phone. Have an IVR system answer
Replace your doorbell with a phone. Have an IVR system answer
- First, ask them to enter their frequent flier number.
- Ask them to press 1 if they are dining domestically and 2 if they are dining internationally
- Ask them to press 1 if they are dining tonight and 2 if they are dining another night
- Then tell them their call is important to you. Play Rhapsody in Blue for 20 minutes. Occasionally, pause, make a sound like you are picking up, then go back to the music
- Finally, open the door. Instead of greeting them, ask them what their frequent flier is, if they are dining domestically, and if they are dining tonight.
- Tell them to hold on, shut the door for another five minutes, and let them hear random sounds of typing
- Finally, open the door, let them in and ask if all their service needs have been met.
Last edited by Sooks; Oct 13, 2006 at 8:44 am
Oct 13, 2006, 8:42 am
#160
Used to be 'g_leyser'
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Brandon Johnson International Airport (expect delays)
Programs: AA PlatPro, HH Gold, Bonvoy Gold, IHG Plat, Reno Air MEGA Platinum
Posts: 10,036
Originally Posted by WatchYourElbows
Such a lame thread.
Nobody is actually going to do any of these things (I hope).
Oct 13, 2006, 9:34 am
#161
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New York, London, Sydney
Programs: United GS/2MM, DL*P, VS*G, AA*EXP, Avis CHM, Hertz Platinum, Sixt*D, HH*D, HGP*P, Starwood*P
Posts: 9,847
...Still Working
(I think I'm going to continue randomly interjecting this for ages for maximum effect).
(I think I'm going to continue randomly interjecting this for ages for maximum effect).
Oct 13, 2006, 9:43 am
#162
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Programs: A3 Gold, BA Gold
Posts: 1,435
After dinner tell your co-host how "marvellous" they are and thank them for "all their hard work".
B
B
Oct 13, 2006, 9:57 am
#163
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Jersey Shore
Programs: UA *G MM, AA G MM
Posts: 1,866
"Enhance" the meal by NOT serving anything but soda and pretzels... 
Oct 13, 2006, 10:03 am
#164
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Kailua Kona, HI
Posts: 153
1. When all your friends are seated, make a show of going round and counting heads while consulting a piece of paper and maintaining a quizzical look on your face.
2. Retire to the kitchen and show the piece of paper to your spouse, and have a whispered conversation glancing in your guests direction every minute or so.
3. Repeat 1 and 2 several times.
2. Retire to the kitchen and show the piece of paper to your spouse, and have a whispered conversation glancing in your guests direction every minute or so.
3. Repeat 1 and 2 several times.
Oct 13, 2006, 10:50 am
#165
Moderator: Midwest, Las Vegas & Dining Buzz
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 17,972
If some of your friends happen to come in late after everyone is seated, tell some of the others who are seated already if they could move to different seats so the latecomers can sit next to whom they want.
