TED to SYD - technically possible.
 

On some previous thread I can't find back right now someone joking spoke of UA starting TED service to SYD. I've done some research and it turns out to be technically possible.

All references are to nautical miles.

The A320, according to specs, has a maximim range of 2,900 miles with 150 pax.

The A320 is certified for ETOPS 180 minutes. (I don't know whether or not the UA A320's are certified, but let's just let that go for a moment.)

So - how to get to SYD from ORD on TED:

ORD-SFO - 1,640 miles
SFO-HNL - 2,084 miles
HNL-PPT - 2,373 miles
PPT-AKL - 2,211 miles
AKL-SYD - 1,169 miles

and I'm sure there are other more creative routes, this is the first one I tried. Sort of reminds me of the PanAm clipper, but possible. Ouch!

Or, how about Ted with one passenger - how far will that A320 go?

We could fill the cabin with pillows - they don't weigh much - and a couple bottles of milk (each half full).

F that. Virgin America will operate the SFO-SYD route with an ex-VS A343.

Nowhere. I'll guarantee you that flight is cancelled! :)

What's the range on the latest 737's? I'm thinking WN service to SYD would be awesome. Can human beings survive for two days on little bags of peanuts and 4 ounces of diet soda every 8 hours? Or would pax have to draw straws and resort to cannibalism somewhere between SFO and HNL?

and if it's marketed under one flight number, they would give us just one glass of soda for the whole journey because, after all, it's a "direct" flight. :p

NO. That is not true. Airlines do not cancel flights because of low bookings.

Opppps! I'm sorry. I meant to post this in the "biggest lies" thread!

Sometimes an airline might have a full cargo load which makes up for the lack of passengers...

Cheers

I'd volunteer. There's no way I'd want to eat any of those mangy creatures that fly on WN.

Somebody has already considered that possibility:

http://www.snakesonaplanemovie.com/

Maybe it will be a codeshare....with United. And the TED pax will have to sit in a separate area to ensure their special treatment.

Ted friendly. Ted not want to be lonely. Ted want lots of passengers. Ted afraid of water. Ted prefer existing routes. RAR!

That will be one hell of expensive flight for that passenger.

Well, with no C or F cabin, at least you won't be competing with NRSAs for seats on this service. :rolleyes:
Is there a point to this thread?

Yes. It contains absolutely no inside jokes or references to other FTers.

:eek:

Except posts 3 and 13 - they're both inside jokes.

Who knows, maybe Ted will buy some 777's and put hundreds of seats in them. Ted nonstop from ORD - Hawaii !!!

You could go farther with an A319, but then you would have to rotate who got F, and it depends on which version of fuel takes are on the UA A319/A320's.

hmmm. Let's see TED charter, 100 people (no middles of course!) circling the pacific cruise ship style one hop per morning. SFO-HNL-PPT-AKL-SYD-MEL-ASP-PER-SIN-HKG-NRT-ANC-SFO. I think NRT-ANC would be the hard one, you would need an average tail wind of 20 MPH to get that under 2900 miles, and then question of where you would divert to if ANC was fogged in.


Anyone know what the off season (winter in north america) charter price is for a UA A320, and what the duty maximum for FAs and flight crew is during a two week period?

Not only technically possible, but—sort of—logical too: HNL and PPT are 'leisure' markets :D

Does ted have ETOPS?

None of UA's Airbus fleet is ETOPS qualified. However, some TED planes (and regular Airbii) are "overwater" qualified, meaning they have safety equipment such as liferafts (and buoyant BOB meals :D ) on board.

Ah...now I know why they are BOB meals.....they BOB in the water. :D

Ted wants to be a big bird. He wants his own all coach 747. They WILL serve full cans of soda every 8 hours ^

Meals, blankets and pillows availble for a fee. Ted TV FREE for the entire flight

The upper deck would be all E+ seating with beverage service every 5 hours.

:p

How many loos were there be on this all-TED 747. A full can of soda every 8 hours could be a problem.

If Ted made it to HNL he could make a new LCC friend

Would I still be denied a full can of soda?

Ted must have really big wings and big engines now.

I would take Ted to SYD. :D

Yes. Ted need to lose pounds to fly over big water.

UA could codeshare flights with Ted
zone 1 =UA First Class
zone 2 =UA Business
zone 3 = E+ Full UA Y Service
zone 4 TED ZONE (The E- section would would be seperated from regular UA passengers with bright orange curtains. The E- cabin would include a Ted Mall selling everything from full cans of sodas to pillows and blankets.

Hey this could work :p

One RAR for each flight makes five RARs for Ted. :D

I guess the little Airbuses can do transatlantic flights without a problem... I happened upon this flight on FlightAware that looks like a corporate shuttle, an A319 that flies PTK/Oakland County, MI to STR/Stuttgart, Germany several times a week. (3665 nm / 4218 mi)

Interesting. I'd bet there are some pretty high up DC folks on that jet...

PrivatAir, operated by LX, also codeshared with LH flies BBJ's (737's) as well as 319LR's across the atlantic. DUS-EWR/ORD are at least two of the routes if I am not mistaken.

Appologies to all for the inside joke, but I am surprised at the lack of mention of the S*** Chit bathroom coupons in this thread.

not just that. You could have a bathroom rights auction! Highest payer gets bathroom rights! This way, you can have fewer bathrooms and get more revenue. And youll have less people asking for full cans. Halfway to Hawaii, which losing bidder is going to ruin their seat first? TED is pleased,RAR!

Would Ted hire matrons for the SYD route?

Wouldn't a stop in RAR (Rarotonga, Cook Islands) be more appropriate than one in PPT?

Inside jokes aside, be careful what you wish for Folks. :cool:

Qantas just announced today its own very basic LCC 'Jetstar' (commonly knows as DeathStar on the QF forum) will commence MEL-HNL directs shortly. That must be an 8 or 9 hour flight from my recollection of last doing it.

Why? Jetstar staff get paid a TON less than Qantas mainline staff do.