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The Consolidated "Interesting Things Heard on Channel 9" Thread [Merged]

The Consolidated "Interesting Things Heard on Channel 9" Thread [Merged]

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Old Apr 22, 18, 5:18 am   -   Wikipost
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Wiki note about the forum’s several, active “Channel 9” threads.

Offering live ATC communications on UA flights on Chanel 9 of the audio entertainment system (“Channel 9”) is exclusive to United and offered at the Captain’s discretion. This forum has four prime, active threads about Channel 9. This note will guide you to the right thread for your post, or to where you would look for those channel 9 posts you’re interested in.

1) This thread, to discuss interesting things heard on Channel 9, such as interesting exchanges between pilots and controllers or asking about pilot-controller phraseology.

2) A thread – intended as a basic status thread only to list the specific channel 9-equipped flights offering or not offering Channel 9. The thumbs-up/down codes used in the thread are:
^ Channel 9 offered on this flight but no announcement made about it.
^^ Channel 9 offered and crew announced or promoted its availability.
: td : Channel 9 not offered on this flight.
Please postings to status reports of availability -- and use the thread below to discuss the general topic.
Channel 9 availability reports (no discussion)[Consoldidated]

3) A discussion thread to pursue issues about Channel 9 availability. (See the previous paragraph. if you merely wish to list the flights offering or not offering channel 9.)
Consolidated "Channel 9 Availability" Discussion Thread [Merged]

4) A thread to discuss United’s progress in converting legacy Continental aircraft to offer Channel 9.
Anyone get channel 9 on a reconfigured CO or PDE aircraft yet?

The following aircraft types have "From the Flight Deck" installed (commonly known as "Channel 9," as that's the location it is found on audio handset selectors):
sUA 777-200ERs
sCO 777-200ERs
sUA 777-300ERs
sUA 777-200As (high density, first class only)
sUA 767-300ERs
sCO 767-400ERs
sUA 757-200 (28J p.s.)

[sUA A320 and A319 aircraft have had it removed. It is not installed on any 737s, 787s, nor sCO 757-200s (16J p.s.) or sCO 757-300s.]

The Moderators may move misplaced posts to conform to these thread aims.

Archived posts in Consolidated "Channel 9 Availability" Discussion Thread [ARCHIVE]
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Old Oct 20, 06, 5:45 am
  #46  
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Taunton, UK
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Leaving JFK on 956, we were on Ground frequency, and due to the huge backlog were kept on it until close to tower departures...

JFK Ground: LHxxx continue taxi, follow United 956 on taxiway x
JFK Ground: LHxxx do you copy?
JFK Ground: ... is LHxxx listening to?

2 mins later:

LHxxx: JFK Ground what is our status please?
JFK Ground: Where the hell have you been damit?
LHxxx: We were on tower, seeing what our queue number was...
JFK Ground: Did I tell you to bug the tower? He's got enough work to do without YOU adding to his workload until I TELL YOU TO... Now FOLLOW UNITED 956...
LHxxx: Follow United 956.
JFK Ground: Jesus Christ that was hard.



I was wetting myself in 17A getting a very dodgy look from 17B
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Old Oct 20, 06, 7:28 am
  #47  
 
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These aren't CH9, but I have heard a few funny ones before. Once I was in Phoenix about to fly a jet back from an airshow. I heard someone getting "cleared unrestricted climb to FL600." I was wondering what the heck was going on since no one flies that high when a U2 taxied by.

I once heard a flight of 4 check in on our frequency, "Spud check, one potato, two potato, three potato, four. Denver Center, Spud 11 flight checking in level 210"

I once heard an air traffic controller instructing a student in a restricted area doing aerobatics, "Ratch 21, work West. You are about to spill out of your area." "Ratch 21, say heading" .... long pause here ... reply from student "uhhhhhh.... up"
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Old Oct 20, 06, 8:40 am
  #48  
 
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The best I've heard were last December sitting on a plane durring a blizzard at ORD. Our flight was going to GRU and did eventually leave about 4 hours late. Apparantly every plane that did land had to wait four hours for a gate as well

Some of the messages were

1. United xxx: Anyone know if Dominos will deliver?
2. United xxx: Thank you for the gate, but it's been ten minutes and their is nobody to operate our jetway. (They called every 5 minutes for 30 minutes)
3. United XXX(My Plane): Our push isn't strong enough to get the plane over the snow drift we need to wait for different one to arrive
4. United xxx: We've been waiting for two hours a gate...do you know how much longer?. (Answer: 2 hours)
5. United xxx: Any chance of going to the hangor and bringing in busses. (Answer: No Buses Available)

In the funny catagory:

I was flying to LGA a couple years ago from ORD and it was one of those days where every departure had a 25 minute visit to the "Penalty Box" ATC had told a plane to proceed to the penalty box and shutdown the engine. The flight responded with "Thats Just Great". ATC shut back with, "My Job is to get you out of this airport as fast as I possibly can" for which the pilot responded with "and doing a hell of a job at it"
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Old Oct 20, 06, 9:45 am
  #49  
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I've heard a few good Ch9 ATC exchanges, but most recently it was a Ch9 ramp exchange that stood out.

The guy directing planes to and from their gates made several wisecracks about pilots, ATC, Paris Hilton, etc. He had a regular comedy routine going. The pilots seemed to get a chuckle or two from it, anyway.
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Old Oct 20, 06, 9:53 am
  #50  
apl
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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About a month ago we were still at the gate in ORD and our communications were with maintenance (sorry, don't know proper terminology). UAxxx heavy comes on and says they had a bird hit their window while landing and need to have it cleaned. Maintenance asks for clarification, which is given, and maintenance says, "Oh, okay... I thought you said a bird had come THROUGH your window!" Which led to this:

UAxxx: "Nope, it was a small bird, we just need to get it cleaned up, nothing serious."

Maintenance: "Tell that to the bird."
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Old Oct 20, 06, 5:34 pm
  #51  
 
Join Date: May 2001
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Originally Posted by Liz
This happened to me for the entire flight, and I was purser. No one spoke up until the deplaning. I told the Capt. I wanted back up and he gave it to me, gladly, along with a big apology. We have private conversations on there and no way did I want any letters being written. Some off-line j/s'er in the cockpit was flipping switches and caused the cabin to go on. Needless to say, as a HUGE proponent of Ch. 9, if this were the norm I would have to change my stance on having it available.
I have actually heard this happen as a passenger and told the FA to tell the captain. I'd rather keep ch 9 and having private conversations go public isn't good for that.
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Old Oct 20, 06, 8:40 pm
  #52  
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
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Most interesting convo I heard was with a truly incompetent
LA Center controller -

ATC: Delta xxx, slow to yyy knots, present heading.
Delta: If we slow to yyy knots, we will fall out of the sky.

and later:

ATC: United zzz (ours), I need you to make a tight turn
(description forgotten) immediately ...
United: That is outside of the design specifications for
this aircraft.
ATC: Oh.
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Old Oct 20, 06, 9:09 pm
  #53  
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
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Originally Posted by violist
Most interesting convo I heard was with a truly incompetent
LA Center controller -

ATC: Delta xxx, slow to yyy knots, present heading.
Delta: If we slow to yyy knots, we will fall out of the sky.

and later:

ATC: United zzz (ours), I need you to make a tight turn
(description forgotten) immediately ...
United: That is outside of the design specifications for
this aircraft.
ATC: Oh.
Great, now I will feel quite safe when I come home.
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Old Oct 21, 06, 7:43 am
  #54  
 
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Originally Posted by violist
Most interesting convo I heard was with a truly incompetent
LA Center controller -

ATC: Delta xxx, slow to yyy knots, present heading.
Delta: If we slow to yyy knots, we will fall out of the sky.
Concerning, but hilarious
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Old Oct 21, 06, 11:01 am
  #55  
 
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Originally Posted by jgoodm
Great, now I will feel quite safe when I come home.
You'll be pretty safe unless you live in L.A.

My guess is that this was someone who was recently promoted
to the big city after working in a mostly general aviation airport.
Probably came as a big surprise that 757s don't behave the same
way as Cessnas.

We ended up making about the tightest turn I've ever
experienced, though.
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Old Oct 21, 06, 11:32 am
  #56  
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Originally Posted by violist
You'll be pretty safe unless you live in L.A.

My guess is that this was someone who was recently promoted
to the big city after working in a mostly general aviation airport.
Probably came as a big surprise that 757s don't behave the same
way as Cessnas.

We ended up making about the tightest turn I've ever
experienced, though.
Not to put you on edge, but this is becoming more common all over as new hires who don't have knowledge of a/c capabilities are coming on board. Doing away with the cockpit familiarity program hasn't helped either. Where pilots and ATCs used to get to spend a lot of time talking about their procedures, why certain requests are made and what certain a/c are capable of, they no longer have that opportunity. While it had the appearances of ATCs getting a lot of free trips (and not to say it was never abused), it really was a useful program.
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Old Oct 22, 06, 12:56 am
  #57  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
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I just had the BEST gem on my flight from ORD-SFO. As we are about 2 hours into the flight I think, someone signs off with a really bad seemingly fake cowboy type accent. As soon as gets off the channel ATC relys with "Yee-Haa" and a chuckle. Some other pilot comes on with: "Is he for real?" and our pilot UA159 comes back with "That is what urinalysis is for."

I nearly lost it; got a real strange look from the guy next to me though, I guess he wasn't on CH9 with me.
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Old Oct 22, 06, 4:42 am
  #58  
 
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Originally Posted by Flying2Much
I nearly lost it; got a real strange look from the guy next to me though, I guess he wasn't on CH9 with me.
I've done that a few times... my seatpartner is obviously thinking "why is he laughing at the Map... "
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Old Nov 1, 06, 7:52 pm
  #59  
 
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Love Channel 9

I really enjoy Channel 9 - it's humorous but also very educating. One pilot I had recently chose different 'goodbye' slogans (from different languages) when he was moving from one frequency to another!

I've noticed that I don't always know what they are talking about when listening - ie: vectoring the final, 'snowbird xxx', 'jetski', etc.

I found a great site (http://www.flightaware.com) that has some very cool stuff but the entire process really interests me. No - I'm not in the market for a career change, just would like to know a bit more.

Also - is the flight simulator anything worth exploring? I'd love to be in the cockpit jumpseat one day to just watch how the entire process happens.

Thanks!
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Old Nov 1, 06, 7:55 pm
  #60  
 
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The bloody AF pilots always sign off wherever they are with "au revoir." (And, I admit, I LOVE it, in spite of its obnoxiousness!)


Originally Posted by seakobi
Also - is the flight simulator anything worth exploring? I'd love to be in the cockpit jumpseat one day to just watch how the entire process happens.
Easy solution: do what I did, make yourself a 3K and get flown to DEN in F to ride in the simulator!
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