lincolnjkc

In 4 segments this week only one (ex-CLE on 04JUL) actually used the correct order -- but skipped GS (presumably because there were none) and inserted "We'd now like to invite both of our two Premier 1Ks to pre-board. You know who you are." (not sure the second sentence was said with the PA mic keyed ) the rest of the flights and generally over the past 4 weeks or so boarding has been keeping me on my toes -- either picking the order like bingo numbers -- or running all of the groups into a single, no-breaths-taken, announcement.

manstein58

LIS/EWR today. Boarded “families with small children” first today. Left “small” and”family” undefined. Couple of pretty old kids-10 or 11- and one group of 5 adults with one child boarded first. Then sat on bus for thirty

bocastephen

I guess it's just impossible to come up with one, consistent version of a script and make sure every single employee reads it exactly the very same way every single time

iluv2fly

When this happens, I immediately walk up to board and say that I must not have heard you say "Global Services", since GS board before families with children. Works every time. And hopefully they get the hint.

Kacee

Lol at PHX they still call preboarding for "our hundred thousand mile flyers."

Repooc17

LAS as well.

The gate agent would say something like, at this time would like to invite our 1K to preboard. This is for those having flown 100,000 miles with us last year.

lincolnjkc

The way to do this would be an automated announcement which has been tried (is being used?) in Newark. Be careful what you wish for.

That announcement makes me want to go on a homicidal rampage far more than the minor annoyance that each agent putting a unique spin on it can create. That particular voice artist in general; something about that voice artist's condescending tone/inflection, glacial pacing, and delivery really makes me want to strangle someone every time I hear one of her announcements, particularly the longer winded ones. (It's a shame because every time I see an interview with her she seems like a perfectly likable, nice, human -- but hearing her over a PA does two things: Confirms the facility is using IED's paging product and makes my blood boil)

Repooc17

United's boarding process is broken. UA already allocates 50 minutes for widebody boarding, but it's becoming normal for boarding from preboarding to door closure to be over an hour.

porciuscato

Wow! twice in two weeks, I got this: "I have two Global Services passengers on this flight, so I would like to invite them to board...."

One was in EWR (a great gate agent, who I think has been mentioned here before). The other was in MFR.

I hope everyone will send nice messages to GS when they experience this. It definitely helps with the IK gate blockage.

IAH-OIL-TRASH

Yesterday late morning LAS-LAX: "3 GS" followed by "11 one hundred thousand mile flyers". Skipped "families w/ sub-2 spawn". I didn't see any, so maybe GA just didn't even bother.

bocastephen

Yet ANA can board the same aircraft in 20 minutes, carry-ones (big and small) and all.

The difference is being proactive and getting people organized and informed before boarding starts. Widebodies have a few agents working the flight, they can certainly spare one to leave the desk and go out to get people into the correct lines and clear the clutter from gate crowding.

DELee

Just avoid the flights with the "demon spawn"...

A whip helps.

David

IAH-OIL-TRASH

Be kind of interesting to see what would happen if airlines were to forced to disclose number and seat locations of human spawn. Might see halo pricing effects for E+ and preferred seats around the larva in those seats.

I've never understood early boarding of sub-2s. Enables extended family to board for zero reason, enables cheating (i.e. using 2+ y.o. kid as prop), and doesn't seem to be a time saver. They are almost never ready to board when called, either.

lincolnjkc

Always makes me think of this scene from Up in the AIr: "Never get in line behind people traveling with infants...Never seen a stroller collapse in less than 20 minutes..." ... I think the general idea is to get them to the "trying to collapse the stroller" phase early enough that it doesn't delay departure. Perhaps if they cleared the jetway while contorting the stroller or if multiple jetways were used it would be fine, but too often they manage to orient themselves in such a way that no one else can proceed while they battle the chariot of the devil spawn [not to be confused with the CRJ200...although the feelings are interchangeable])

But agree generally no good comes from the spawn boarding early other than making them uncomfortable, scared, and irritable in a small metal tube for an even longer period of time (I've had enough screaming-in-terror-heard-from-15-rows-away children over the past two weeks to reinforce the Ms. and my "No kids ever" choice)

Repooc17

I am the Asian stereotype being presented in the scene