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-   -   Got angry at another passenger, FA reported me to pilots. Now what? (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/united-airlines-mileageplus/1888986-got-angry-another-passenger-fa-reported-me-pilots-now-what.html)

dgdevil Jan 17, 18 6:23 pm

Got angry at another passenger, FA reported me to pilots. Now what?
 
I couldn't help it. I got mad at the mother of a baby that squealed the entirety of a 10-hour flight. She complained to the FA. The FA told me he had reported me to the pilots, "because United takes harassment very seriously." Now I am waiting for the other shoe to drop: Banned from UA and lose everything? Or some sort of warning or investigation? Or ...

CodeAdam10 Jan 17, 18 6:25 pm

Are you still in-flight?

Popcorn :cool:

dgdevil Jan 17, 18 6:32 pm

Not that particular flight, no. Transferred to *G partner.

HoyaSFOIAD Jan 17, 18 6:37 pm

Could have just been a ploy to ensure things didn’t escalate further, but that’s pure speculation on my part. How bad was it? What did you say?

dgdevil Jan 17, 18 6:42 pm

I was pretty mean. No swear words, but ... The FA got real prissy, as they tend to do.

StuckinITH Jan 17, 18 6:42 pm

Since you are out of the flight, I think that nothing will happen. Next time, preempt the whole thing and complain to the FA about the mother not taking care of the baby.

findark Jan 17, 18 6:44 pm


Originally Posted by StuckinITH (Post 29306072)
Since you are out of the flight, I think that nothing will happen. Next time, preempt the whole thing and complain to the FA about the mother not taking care of the baby.

Agree that if nothing happened at the end of the flight you're fine. The captain has better things to do than file complaints about pax - was probably a scare tactic to get you to sit down and shut up. Lesson learned, maybe?

dmurphynj Jan 17, 18 6:47 pm


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306006)
I couldn't help it. I got mad at the mother of a baby that squealed the entirety of a 10-hour flight. She complained to the FA. The FA told me he had reported me to the pilots, "because United takes harassment very seriously."

Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

HoyaSFOIAD Jan 17, 18 6:47 pm


Originally Posted by StuckinITH (Post 29306072)
Since you are out of the flight, I think that nothing will happen.

I tend to agree here. Once removed from the moment I doubt anyone wants to do a forensic analysis of “he said, she said.” Either that or UA is simply going to seat you next to a lap child for all your future flights ;)

I’m sure others will weigh in.

dgdevil Jan 17, 18 7:04 pm


Originally Posted by dmurphynj (Post 29306089)


Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

No way would I inflict a child on the universe or my fellow fliers.

jmcintosh Jan 17, 18 7:08 pm


Originally Posted by dmurphynj (Post 29306089)


Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

Not a fair assumptions. I have raised 6 and I still get miffed when I see parents with kids who are not even attempting anything, or are just letting their kids run amuck on a flight.

I feel that having had kids is no excuse for needing to just tolerate anything. IMHO a flight is a time to do whatever possible as a parent to keep kids behaving. I am SUPER patient when it’s clear a parent is trying and nothing is working, in fact, I even feel badly for them. I get frustrated when the parent is checked out (eg watching a movie) and the kid is being a nuisance; or baby is crying and they are not even attempting to soothe it.

I was recently on a hop SEA-YEG. Parent of a kid just under 2 (was a lap infant but not really a small baby anymore) had ZERO plan for the kid - no snacks, no games, nothing. Kid screamed the whole flight and the dad did nothing and the mom tried nothing. Poor FA tried to help, but mom was a disaster. It was a painful 90 minutes for most of the Q400 pax within screaming distance.

dgdevil Jan 17, 18 7:13 pm

This lady was right near business class. I felt bad for the guys in there. It was all very Larry David. Anyway, I should have bit my tongue, but I was just so sleep-deprived.

FormerAmtrakTraveler Jan 17, 18 7:21 pm


Originally Posted by jmcintosh (Post 29306151)
Not a fair assumptions. I have raised 6 and I still get miffed when I see parents with kids who are not even attempting anything, or are just letting their kids run amuck on a flight.

When the parents are doing nothing and making zero attempt, yes, I completely agree.

But every kid is different. Some are low maintenance, and others are high maintenance. Sometimes even when parents come prepared with snacks, games, everything, the kid can still not cooperate. What's a parent to do if you have to go from point A to point B? It is an incredibly stressful situation for the parents and last thing they need is passengers yelling at them. I understand it's frustrating and even unfair to other pax, but best thing to do imho is to put on headphones (hopefully noise cancelling) and turn up the music or movie to block it out.

TA Jan 17, 18 7:29 pm


Originally Posted by dmurphynj (Post 29306089)


Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

I have to disagree with this, but having a child yourself is not a requirement for knowing what is reasonable behavior (regardless of what happened in this specific case).

sinoflyer Jan 17, 18 7:44 pm


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306159)
This lady was right near business class. I felt bad for the guys in there. It was all very Larry David. Anyway, I should have bit my tongue, but I was just so sleep-deprived.

Last week I was seated in the mini J cabin of a very empty AA 788 transpac flight, right next to the Y bulkhead. During boarding, the FA told me that an infant was seated there, and suggested that there were plenty seats in front to move to. I declined, because I am used to dealing with infants. Sure enough, the baby had 4 or 5 episodes of tantrums during the flight. I feel bad for those seated around that poor dad in Y, as I do for you, but I'm also glad that you acknowledge that holding your peace is probably the right thing to do, regardless of how good or poor of a job the mother was doing.

COSPILOT Jan 17, 18 8:04 pm


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306159)
This lady was right near business class. I felt bad for the guys in there. It was all very Larry David. Anyway, I should have bit my tongue, but I was just so sleep-deprived.

I think you answered your own question. Not much a parent can do with a screaming baby. 99% of the time my kids were perfect angles when they were young, but that other 1% made me want to pull my own hair out... It happens, and there is nothing you can do while traveling in a metal tube at 35K. Out of curiosity, what exactly did you expect the parent to do?

The fact that you weren't met by law enforcement at the end of the flight suggests you will be fine. In this case, I don't see UA coming after you, unless you have a pattern of complaining during flight.

Annalisa12 Jan 17, 18 8:07 pm


Originally Posted by HoyaSFOIAD (Post 29306052)
Could have just been a ploy to ensure things didn’t escalate further, but that’s pure speculation on my part. How bad was it? What did you say?

agree

CALlegacy Jan 17, 18 8:12 pm


Originally Posted by COSPILOT (Post 29306298)
I think you answered your own question. Not much a parent can do with a screaming baby. 99% of the time my kids were perfect angles when they were young, but that other 1% made me want to pull my own hair out... It happens, and there is nothing you can do while traveling in a metal tube at 35K. Out of curiosity, what exactly did you expect the parent to do?

That could depend, but with babies starters are feed them, change their diapers, hold them, walk around with them, give them something to bite for teething, distract them with a toy, etc. There is in fact a lot a parent can do with a screaming baby and sometimes nothing that can be done. Babies scream for reasons such as being in pain, being hungry, being frightened, teething, etc. Ear infections, colic, etc. may not be fixable in the air. Ear pain from changing air pressure can be helped by feeding, nursing even better. Who knows? But some parents are either clueless or lazy and other times the parent is doing everything humanly possible and it doesn't work.

Grog Jan 17, 18 8:22 pm


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306159)
This lady was right near business class. I felt bad for the guys in there. It was all very Larry David. Anyway, I should have bit my tongue, but I was just so sleep-deprived.

Never feel bad for anyone in business class. They can take care of themselves.

Earplugs are an awesome invention. Even better when noise-cancelling headphones are placed over them. Or talk to an FA about the disturbance and no one else. Passengers undermine the crew (and they weaken their own position) when they take things into their own hands. Since you were able to walk freely from the aircraft, I think you'll be fine.

COSPILOT Jan 17, 18 8:22 pm


Originally Posted by CALlegacy (Post 29306320)
That could depend, but with babies starters are feed them, change their diapers, hold them, walk around with them, distract them with a toy, etc. There is in fact a lot a parent can do with a screaming baby and sometimes nothing that can be done. Babies scream for reasons such as being in pain, being hungry, being frightened, etc. Ear infections, colic, etc. may not be fixable in the air. Ear pain from changing air pressure can be helped by feeding, nursing even better. Who knows? But some parents are either clueless or lazy and other times the parent is doing everything humanly possible and it doesn't work.

My daughter screamed so bad as an infant on her first airplane ride that I literally handed my credit card to the Purser and said drinks were on me for the entire airplane. I felt horrible that there was nothing my wife and I could do to calm her down. Long story short, she calmed down early in the flight (and it turns out she had a severe problem with her ears that required surgery). Purser was pretty cool about it, and while a few accepted my offer of free drinks, the Purser insisted that UA would cover it and gave me my credit card back.

Edit: my wife is looking over my shoulder and reminded me I gave out cash to the FA to cover drinks, $100 to be exact. I'm tired and travel too much, like the OP.:)

Must...Fly! Jan 17, 18 8:35 pm

Maybe you ought to investigate a private jet if the general public is a problem for you...

No offence but it's public transport, so, you take what you are given...you know what you're getting in to...

codyc1515 Jan 17, 18 8:37 pm


Originally Posted by dmurphynj (Post 29306089)


Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

Yep, if you're a parent you'll know that it's very normal to have a baby screaming for the entire flight... /s

Kacee Jan 17, 18 8:37 pm

Babies cry. As a frequent flyer, it's best you accept that as a basic condition of air travel you cannot change.

When seated next to mothers with infants, I've found the best strategy is to smile and offer whatever help I can. It's no fun for them either.

hoopics Jan 17, 18 8:46 pm

The woman's child screamed for 10 hours. I promise you that she was the least happy passenger on that plane, BEFORE you got yourself (appropriately) reprimanded. This wasn't the unattended kid in the row behind you kicking your seat for the nth time after you let the inattentive parents know they were doing it. This wasn't the unattended kid in the seat across the aisle throwing stuff at you. This was (by your admission) an infant. Infants cry because they are hungry or in pain. For that child to do it for 10 hours, that meant it was in distress, and I promise Mom knew it. And was gutted by it. And you rewarded her with going out of your way to make her feel worse.

Hope asserting yourself made you feel better in the moment. Glad that your biggest concern is what's going to happen to your status.

SMH.

emcampbe Jan 17, 18 9:49 pm


Originally Posted by FormerAmtrakTraveler (Post 29306171)
When the parents are doing nothing and making zero attempt, yes, I completely agree.

But every kid is different. Some are low maintenance, and others are high maintenance. Sometimes even when parents come prepared with snacks, games, everything, the kid can still not cooperate. What's a parent to do if you have to go from point A to point B? It is an incredibly stressful situation for the parents and last thing they need is passengers yelling at them. I understand it's frustrating and even unfair to other pax, but best thing to do imho is to put on headphones (hopefully noise cancelling) and turn up the music or movie to block it out.

This. We have a now 3 yo. And do lots of traveling, starting when she was 3 months - much of it to see family who are all in different places, including India (the kids grandparents, to boot, and they can't travel that far anymore). Luckily, ours is pretty good on most flights, but she's had her moments. Including tantrums. Luckily, we haven't run into anyone like the OP on flights...most either completely ignore us (perfectly fine by me), or some that like to say hi at boarding, etc. Does it suck for others when there is a tantrum. yes (and I've been there before, too). However, I can assure you (OP, not the poster I've quoted above) the less than handful of times that ours had tantrums on flights, and despite trying our best, couldn't get her to calm down in a timely manner, that yes, we felt at least 10 times worse than anyone else near us on the plane.


Originally Posted by CALlegacy (Post 29306320)
That could depend, but with babies starters are feed them, change their diapers, hold them, walk around with them, give them something to bite for teething, distract them with a toy, etc. There is in fact a lot a parent can do with a screaming baby and sometimes nothing that can be done. Babies scream for reasons such as being in pain, being hungry, being frightened, teething, etc. Ear infections, colic, etc. may not be fixable in the air. Ear pain from changing air pressure can be helped by feeding, nursing even better. Who knows? But some parents are either clueless or lazy and other times the parent is doing everything humanly possible and it doesn't work.

Yes, lots of reasons a baby can cry on a flight (let's be realistic: it's their only way to indicate anything). But I wouldn't assume the parents are clueless or lazy or weren't doing anything to try - OP didn't complain that the parents weren't trying to calm the baby, but just the baby was crying. There's a difference, as you mention. I also somewhat suspect the OP was exaggerating that the baby was crying the "entirety" of a 10-hour flight, but that it happened a few times to seem like it.

Loren Pechtel Jan 17, 18 9:58 pm


Originally Posted by jmcintosh (Post 29306151)


Not a fair assumptions. I have raised 6 and I still get miffed when I see parents with kids who are not even attempting anything, or are just letting their kids run amuck on a flight.

I feel that having had kids is no excuse for needing to just tolerate anything. IMHO a flight is a time to do whatever possible as a parent to keep kids behaving. I am SUPER patient when it’s clear a parent is trying and nothing is working, in fact, I even feel badly for them. I get frustrated when the parent is checked out (eg watching a movie) and the kid is being a nuisance; or baby is crying and they are not even attempting to soothe it.

I was recently on a hop SEA-YEG. Parent of a kid just under 2 (was a lap infant but not really a small baby anymore) had ZERO plan for the kid - no snacks, no games, nothing. Kid screamed the whole flight and the dad did nothing and the mom tried nothing. Poor FA tried to help, but mom was a disaster. It was a painful 90 minutes for most of the Q400 pax within screaming distance.

This. Ongoing problems are almost always parents who aren't trying.

catocony Jan 17, 18 10:05 pm

I always recommend doing a Bill Cosby and very loudly wake the baby up as you get off the plane :-)

About the only thing I do if a kid won't quiet down is ask the parent(s) if they've done anything to help relieve the pressure in the baby's ears. That's the main culprit usually, aside from having a kid who's just a fussy sleeper. For 10 hours though, almost all babies are doing to sleep some. A lot of flyers with kids have no idea about the need to equalize pressure in the ear, to stay hydrated, etc.

I have and will complain, to the FAs, f the parent(s) are playing a video or game or something for the kid with the audio up. I'll tolerate a mouth breather watching a vid while eating at Taco Bell, but on a plane, I have zero intention of listening to anyone elses audio. That's why headphones were invented and they work equally well with children as with adults.

NikoLGA Jan 17, 18 10:07 pm

You’ve avoided the worst of it.

If no one met you at the gate, then you are in the clear, anything from this point on is hearsay, and is not trackable (unlike purchasing tickets in a nefarious way).

The one thing you have to make sure you refrain from doing is giving flight details on this forum (i.e don’t tell us what seat you were sitting in on or the route). UA Insiders lurk on this forum, and that’s your biggest gamble, but you use an alias and didn’t give us any specifics, so again, you are in the clear.

It’s also good that you are honest about your mistake.

FlyingBeanCounter Jan 17, 18 10:32 pm


Originally Posted by hoopics (Post 29306431)
The woman's child screamed for 10 hours. I promise you that she was the least happy passenger on that plane, BEFORE you got yourself (appropriately) reprimanded. This wasn't the unattended kid in the row behind you kicking your seat for the nth time after you let the inattentive parents know they were doing it. This wasn't the unattended kid in the seat across the aisle throwing stuff at you. This was (by your admission) an infant. Infants cry because they are hungry or in pain. For that child to do it for 10 hours, that meant it was in distress, and I promise Mom knew it. And was gutted by it. And you rewarded her with going out of your way to make her feel worse.

Hope asserting yourself made you feel better in the moment. Glad that your biggest concern is what's going to happen to your status.

SMH.

completely untrue.

She has a responsibility to do everything in her power to quiet her child. If the child was screaming for 10 straight hours then she is a horrible mom. When my step kids would scream we would do anything to quiet them. Whatever it took. It was our responsibility to ensure our children were minimally disruptive to those around us.

The mother sounds like a self absorbed entitled baby herself.

chavala Jan 17, 18 10:35 pm


Originally Posted by catocony (Post 29306649)
I always recommend doing a Bill Cosby .....

Like slip a sleeping pill into his baby bottle? :o

FormerAmtrakTraveler Jan 17, 18 10:39 pm


Originally Posted by FlyingBeanCounter (Post 29306706)
If the child was screaming for 10 straight hours then she is a horrible mom.

This is assuming a lot.

I'll repeat, every child is different. I know enough parents that have had horrible times w/ their babies on planes, and they are not terrible parents.

WineCountryUA Jan 17, 18 10:56 pm

Moderator Note

While the nexus of this incident was crying babies (always a volatile topic), let's keep this thread focused on the UA related issues and the OP's question. If the thread turns to a general discussion of noisy children (or their parents actions), the UA forum is not the place for that.

Additionally, regardless how one feels about the OP's action, personal attacks or snarky comments are not allowed per FT rules. Such posts have been and will be deleted.

WineCountryUA
UA coModerator

Primary Consult Jan 17, 18 11:11 pm


Originally Posted by jmcintosh (Post 29306151)
It was a painful 90 minutes for most of the Q400 pax within screaming distance.

Heh, funny enough that's why I used to always aim for the Qs on United Express. Propeller engine noise is usually quite effective at drowning out annoying sounds, but I'm guessing that kid took it as a "challenge accepted" moment.

To the OP: at least it was only screaming - the lap baby next to me on a Southwest flight once peed all over. I felt especially bad for the person holding her (who got the bulk of the payload), because it wasn't even her baby. The row of people across from us had 2 lap infants, and they were informed by the FA that someone needed to switch. Rather than break up their group they handed the baby off to the stranger next to me (who was flying with her well behaved seated 10 year old son). FA was incredulous at first but shrugged 'eh, I guess that works too'.

eigenvector Jan 17, 18 11:21 pm

I suspect if United was in the habit of banning people - let alone a top-tier FF - because they were rude to someone once, we would be deluged with threads on this forum about people being banned. :D

Incidents of violence or fraud will get you banned or status revoked very quickly. A heated conversation? No.

aquamarinesteph Jan 18, 18 12:09 am

Okay, trying to stay on topic and not making a personal attack toward the OP or the woman whose child caused the initial incident.

The OP - by his/her own standards - said that he/she was pretty mean.


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306070)
I was pretty mean. No swear words, but ... The FA got real prissy, as they tend to do.

I don't know what 'pretty mean' means in this context, but I think the FA has a right to report a passenger who said something which made another passenger feel unsafe. And I would thank the FA who took the time to listen to a statement and report something if told them that one passenger was making another feel unsafe because of certain, specific comments.

Restil Jan 18, 18 12:42 am


Originally Posted by FormerAmtrakTraveler (Post 29306171)
When the parents are doing nothing and making zero attempt, yes, I completely agree.

But every kid is different. Some are low maintenance, and others are high maintenance. Sometimes even when parents come prepared with snacks, games, everything, the kid can still not cooperate. What's a parent to do if you have to go from point A to point B? It is an incredibly stressful situation for the parents and last thing they need is passengers yelling at them. I understand it's frustrating and even unfair to other pax, but best thing to do imho is to put on headphones (hopefully noise cancelling) and turn up the music or movie to block it out.

If it's absolutely necessary to travel with a child and the parent knows, from past experience, that there is a significant chance the child will not behave in a reasonable manner, then find an alternate source of transportation. Sure, a 24 hour drive across the country with a toddler might be an uncomfortable experience for you, but it will only be uncomfortable for YOU and not the entire complement of an airplane. Of course, there's nothing legally that prevents you from bringing a screaming baby or misbehaving child onboard a plane and annoying the crap out of everyone. So if that's your ONLY option, then go ahead and do it. Just be aware that it WILL upset other people, and if you're willing to live with that, so be it.

dgdevil Jan 18, 18 1:21 am

I will update with any developments. Thanks for the input. Yes, I did have earplugs (industrial strength from Home Depot), and yes "Status" is all important to me - and to all of us, I'm sure.

jp12687 Jan 18, 18 5:19 am


Originally Posted by jmcintosh (Post 29306151)


Not a fair assumptions. I have raised 6 and I still get miffed when I see parents with kids who are not even attempting anything, or are just letting their kids run amuck on a flight.

I feel that having had kids is no excuse for needing to just tolerate anything. IMHO a flight is a time to do whatever possible as a parent to keep kids behaving. I am SUPER patient when it’s clear a parent is trying and nothing is working, in fact, I even feel badly for them. I get frustrated when the parent is checked out (eg watching a movie) and the kid is being a nuisance; or baby is crying and they are not even attempting to soothe it.

I was recently on a hop SEA-YEG. Parent of a kid just under 2 (was a lap infant but not really a small baby anymore) had ZERO plan for the kid - no snacks, no games, nothing. Kid screamed the whole flight and the dad did nothing and the mom tried nothing. Poor FA tried to help, but mom was a disaster. It was a painful 90 minutes for most of the Q400 pax within screaming distance.

agreed. I was once waiting for a flight and was sitting st the gate with my legs extended. I had been there like that for 20+ minutes. There were these 2 kids running around screaming, hitting, and chasing each other. Parents checked out. Until one of the kids tripped on my legs and they berated me. Am I supposed to just “take it” because they have kids and I “don’t understand”?

LordHamster Jan 18, 18 6:56 am


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29307120)
I will update with any developments. Thanks for the input. Yes, I did have earplugs (industrial strength from Home Depot), and yes "Status" is all important to me - and to all of us, I'm sure.

Save some screenshots of your account page from UA with your status and past year of statements. Worst case, you get a status match to another carrier.

JetAway Jan 18, 18 7:11 am

Absolutely nothing will happen. Stuff like this occurs across the system everyday. But as others have noted, it is best to suck it up and endure annoyances while flying in an enclosed, highly regulated metal capsule.


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