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-   -   Got angry at another passenger, FA reported me to pilots. Now what? (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/united-airlines-mileageplus/1888986-got-angry-another-passenger-fa-reported-me-pilots-now-what.html)

Caribgrl Jan 18, 18 9:37 am


Originally Posted by COSPILOT (Post 29306353)
My daughter screamed so bad as an infant on her first airplane ride that I literally handed my credit card to the Purser and said drinks were on me for the entire airplane. I felt horrible that there was nothing my wife and I could do to calm her down. Long story short, she calmed down early in the flight (and it turns out she had a severe problem with her ears that required surgery). Purser was pretty cool about it, and while a few accepted my offer of free drinks, the Purser insisted that UA would cover it and gave me my credit card back.

Edit: my wife is looking over my shoulder and reminded me I gave out cash to the FA to cover drinks, $100 to be exact. I'm tired and travel too much, like the OP.:)

That is funny! But my daughters first experience on a flight was total opposite. She slept the entire way (4 hours ) and got so many thankful compliments from a lot of passengers. Though when we arrived at our destination and she woke up she threw up...but they still forgave her...☺

pseudoswede Jan 18, 18 9:46 am

I kid you not, I was on a SK flight two weeks ago (ARN-MIA), and there were 25-30 lap children on the plane. :eek: (Gate agent had written down all seats with a lap child on a copy of the manifest. It stretched down one whole page.) At one point, there were five parents wearing Baby Bjorns and walking a circle around the Y cabin. Headphones and IFE drowned out any noise any child made.

Sean Scully Jan 18, 18 9:53 am


Originally Posted by dmurphynj (Post 29306089)


Do you have a child? I suspect not; if you did, you’d understand.

You don't need to have a child to understand. But people with children do need to be respectful of their fellow passengers. Not every baby can be quieted all the time, but screaming for 10 hours is just insane.

I have had two major incidents with children on flights.

One was a young mother, maybe 18, but could have been anywhere from 14 to 22, seated next to me with her 3 month old infant. The baby was wailing away and would not stop. The mother looked like a deer caught in the headlights; she tried to quiet the baby but was unsuccessful. I asked if I can help and she handed the baby to me. I bounced the baby up and down on my leg for a little while till it quieted down and then held it for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. Every once in a while I wonder what the rest of the passengers thought. A middle aged white man, holding a African American baby, seated next to a young woman who barely looked of legal age.

The other incident was a young kid who kept kicking my seat. The mother, who was very attentive, kept telling her son to cut it out, but he continued doing it off and on for the next half hour or so, ignoring his mothers continued admonitions. I got so frustrated I got up, turned around, leaned over the top of my seat, and said to the kid "Kick my chair again and I'll break the leg that did it." Admittedly this was completely over the top, completely wrong, and I'm lucky I didn't get kicked off the flight for it, but the best part was the mother turned to her kid and said "See I told you!". Kid didn't kick my seat for the rest of the flight.

mh3265a Jan 18, 18 10:01 am


Originally Posted by dgdevil (Post 29306006)
I couldn't help it. I got mad at the mother of a baby that squealed the entirety of a 10-hour flight. She complained to the FA. The FA told me he had reported me to the pilots, "because United takes harassment very seriously." Now I am waiting for the other shoe to drop: Banned from UA and lose everything? Or some sort of warning or investigation? Or ...

Clearly you've never had a baby before. I understand your frustration, but I'm sure it was just as tough on the mom as it was for you. Have a little more compassion! Plus you probably had headphones that could drone out some of the crying....

walkerci Jan 18, 18 10:23 am

All good suggestions.

I gave my kids Dramamine on flights. Not only did it help with motion sickness, it put them to sleep too.

Far too many parents are unwilling to exert any effort to take care of their children and/or make them behave in public.
This seems to be mainly a problem in the USA and has gotten dramatically worse over the last 20 years.

COSPILOT Jan 18, 18 10:26 am


Originally Posted by Duck1981 (Post 29308486)
I agree with others who have posted. Babies can be difficult but I would not say anything if I can see that mom/ dad try to solve the situation.
My worst experience was once in the Hilton Doha, were a bunch of Saudi or Qatari kids were running around in the breakfast restaurant, stealing food from the plates of waiters, screaming, etc etc.
I've never seen a bunch of such misbehaving kids.

Unfortunately staff did not say anything, but I would not expect Phillipino waiters to discuss with Saudi or Qatari parents anyway.

We had something similar happen at the ABQ Sheraton Uptown. Some sort of wedding party event was going on, and about 20 kids made the entire hotel their personal playground. My wife and I were sitting with our now older children and were simply appalled at what we were witnessing. These kids (ranging in age of 7-12) were literally running around the entire lobby and bar area, throwing footballs, and even going so far as to help themselves to candy from the store without paying. I, and many others complained, but the hotel was reluctant to do anything, as the wedding party was a minority group (not Hispanic as one would expect in ABQ, but of Middle East) and in the managers words, he was afraid of upsetting the party and being accused of racial bias. We ended our unpleasant evening and went to our room, of which the hallways were occupied with these same kids until 1am. Again, the hotel refused to do anything. If memory serves, the hotel compensated me, even more than expected, but I would have preferred a normal evening instead.

zymm Jan 18, 18 10:38 am

I've heard an FA talking to a GA after a flight about a couple of pax who were apparently awful.. I don't know if anything came of it, but I suppose you could get a note on your permanent record :)

Im always amazed that FAs usually seem very fond of children, after everything they must put up with.

And for all the people pleading sympathy for the mother, it was her choice to take the baby on the flight in the first place. There are very few situations where a parent HAS to take a baby on a long trip, and I know plenty of people who have limited their travel while their kids are tiny. At a minimum, take them on a shorter flight first so you have an idea of how they'll behave and can avoid longer flights in future if they aren't good flyers. The mother knew what she was getting into, and decided the extra effort was worth it to take her baby on that trip

Visconti Jan 18, 18 10:43 am


Originally Posted by zymm (Post 29308673)
And for all the people pleading sympathy for the mother, it was her choice to take the baby on the flight in the first place. There are very few situations where a parent HAS to take a baby on a long trip, and I know plenty of people who have limited their travel while their kids are tiny. At a minimum, take them on a shorter flight first so you have an idea of how they'll behave and can avoid longer flights in future if they aren't good flyers. The mother knew what she was getting into, and decided the extra effort was worth it to take her baby on that trip

This is why I couldn't care less about "no one feels more badly than the Mother" pleas, which not only rings hollow, but is completely meaningless when dealing with the issue for the 100th time. There should be some reciprocity to compassion & empathy.

SS255 Jan 18, 18 10:45 am

Reading this thread reminds me of all of the longhaul youth group trips I took, where our group occupied about half of the Y cabin. I am now officially suffering from "post traumatic guild disorder"!

altadoc Jan 18, 18 11:00 am


Originally Posted by chavala (Post 29306716)


Like slip a sleeping pill into his baby bottle? :o

ha! i was thinking the same thing!

emcampbe Jan 18, 18 11:23 am


Originally Posted by catocony (Post 29306649)

I have and will complain, to the FAs, f the parent(s) are playing a video or game or something for the kid with the audio up. I'll tolerate a mouth breather watching a vid while eating at Taco Bell, but on a plane, I have zero intention of listening to anyone elses audio. That's why headphones were invented and they work equally well with children as with adults.

They work equally as well for kids., fair..they even have kids headphones which limit the volume so as not to damage their ears by having the volume too loud. The difference is while adults mostly have no objection to wearing headphones, kids, especially toddlers, often do (at least ours does). So I'll admit, in those cases, we'll often take the headphones off, and ensure the volume is low enough so that it's barely audible, if it is at all, to others. Never had an issue with that.


Originally Posted by FlyingBeanCounter (Post 29306706)
She has a responsibility to do everything in her power to quiet her child. If the child was screaming for 10 straight hours then she is a horrible mom. When my step kids would scream we would do anything to quiet them. Whatever it took. It was our responsibility to ensure our children were minimally disruptive to those around us.

The mother sounds like a self absorbed entitled baby herself.

Fair enough to your first point. Unfortunately, sometimes way easier said than done. I'd be absolutely shocked if the kid was screaming for 10 straight hours - certainly possible, as I said upthread, but my gusss is it happened on and off a few times, and OP is exaggerating, which people often do. Luckily our kid is a fairly good traveler....she's been doing it since she's been 3 months, but certainly, she's not been an angel all the time. Sometimes kids are hungry, causing it, but they won't eat. Sometimes kids (or even adults) are really tired, but they can't sleep, particularly in an environment like an economy cabin of an airplane.

Better not to make assumptions about the mother (were you there)...I don't see the OP saying they felt mom doing nothing was the issue...just that the baby was crying. In other news...the sun rose this morning. Maybe more info. will come to light, but a big assumption since you weren't there.


Originally Posted by JBord (Post 29307878)
That was my thought when I read the initial post. If someone was "pretty mean" to me on a plane, when I had directed nothing toward them personally, I'd probably do something about it too. I get pretty annoyed if someone isn't trying to control their children on a flight, because it's disrespectful to other passengers to not even try. But whether that's the reason for the annoyance or not, it's not a reason for a single passenger to take the problem up with the other passenger.

I was on a flight last month and, while parked at the gate, the woman behind me in F took offense at something the passenger in the row behind her said to his wife (none of her business in my opinion). She confronted him and they went back and forth for a while before the FA reported it to the captain. A few minutes later a UA rep boarded the plane and asked the woman to leave. She wouldn't, and continued to argue until her husband convinced her it was just best for them to go. The UA rep told her they would get her on the next flight, so I assume there were no other actions taken, as the OP is worried about. But the moral is that you're never going to win if you initiate a confrontation.

Proper procedure, IME, is if you have an issue with another passenger (ever) is to talk to a member of the flight crew, rather than get in an argument with a passenger you don't know. Flight crew can take it from there, determine if its worth discussing with the captain and look at other options.


Originally Posted by Restil (Post 29307042)
If it's absolutely necessary to travel with a child and the parent knows, from past experience, that there is a significant chance the child will not behave in a reasonable manner, then find an alternate source of transportation. Sure, a 24 hour drive across the country with a toddler might be an uncomfortable experience for you, but it will only be uncomfortable for YOU and not the entire complement of an airplane. Of course, there's nothing legally that prevents you from bringing a screaming baby or misbehaving child onboard a plane and annoying the crap out of everyone. So if that's your ONLY option, then go ahead and do it. Just be aware that it WILL upset other people, and if you're willing to live with that, so be it.

Firstly, sometimes there is no alternate transportation (or, perhaps I'm mistaken...feel free to let me know how my kid can travel from US to India to see her grandparents who can't travel themselves, without getting on a plane). There;s also:


Originally Posted by FormerAmtrakTraveler (Post 29307886)
You're mistaken this is predictable.

Some examples from home: sometimes our daughter will eat all her veggies, even ask for more, sometimes she won't touch them, even when its something she always likes. Sometimes she goes to bed ontime without an argument, sometimes she'll scream that she doesn't want to go to sleep, and other nights she'll ask to go to bed early. At daycare drop off, some days she'll practically push us out the door of her class when we drop her off, and other days, she'll hang on to us as if she's scared to let go. That's what kids are like. These things also change as they grow older...so while one can go from being a model traveler to being a terrible one, or vice-versa.

Let me also note that I've seen more basically screaming adult babies on flights than actual screaming kids. The kids I have sympathy for - the adults, well....they should no better.

fgirard Jan 18, 18 12:14 pm

On UA, when I have complained, it either has been a succinct, to the point complaint, or self-explanatory (i.e. when I call for the FA to come over, s/he already knows of the reason because it is driving him/her insane). The one absolute trick is to not raise your voice...I find it infuriates the other side even more, which will only make their side of the case harder to argue.

DCP2016 Jan 18, 18 1:20 pm

There's a difference between an infant crying and a 4 year old kicking a seat/throwing a temper tantrum. One is to be expected, especially in public, and one, if not properly attended to, it poor parenting.

airzim Jan 18, 18 1:29 pm


Originally Posted by emcampbe (Post 29308897)
They work equally as well for kids., fair..they even have kids headphones which limit the volume so as not to damage their ears by having the volume too loud. The difference is while adults mostly have no objection to wearing headphones, kids, especially toddlers, often do (at least ours does). So I'll admit, in those cases, we'll often take the headphones off, and ensure the volume is low enough so that it's barely audible, if it is at all, to others. Never had an issue with that.

Sorry but 100% disagree. This is never OK, not even at the lowest volumes. Either headphones or the volume is off. No exceptions. I'm shocked that anyone thinks this is OK, because it completely disregards anyone else's feelings for the sake of one person's enjoyment. Kids under 2 tend to not need volume anyway; the visual stimulation is often just enough. Alternatively they sell children appropriate headphones with low volumes and more comfortable padding for young ears.

I'm often appalled by the lack of civility of parents (and adults) who think this is OK. I don't care if it is speaker phone conference calls in the lounge, kids playing video games with volume up, or music/video blasting from a device, you are infringing on other people's peace and quiet. It's common courtesy and just because the iPad was invented, doesn't toss out 100s of years of decorum rules for governing collective behavior.

The secondary point to emphasize, is if everyone decided to openly play music without headphones, it would turn into cacophony of chaos with increasing levels of noise to counteract everyone else's sound. We need rules to govern civil society.

Adults are just as tone deaf since Facetime became a vehicle for communication and international travelers sucking up wifi in the lounges and always seem to fail to have headphones.

I have two young kids, and agree with the sentiment espoused above, my job is to keep them entertained and quiet. Make sure they are cognizant of their behaviour on surrounding neighbors, either from physical actions (kicking seats) or noise, demonstrate common courtesy to the Flights Attendants (taking off their headphones to speak to the crew and using appropriate manners), and most importantly, reinforcing positive behaviour by myself, following the same standards.

Artpen100 Jan 18, 18 2:00 pm

Lots of bad things happen in longhaul Y, most from other passengers. That is why I avoid it. But if you have trouble with another passenger, do not try to solve it yourself. It is FA's business.It will never end well. As to noise, carry earplugs.


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