dilanesp

1. I have never once complained about not getting a PDB in first or business.

2. This isn't about "splitting up families". It is about airplanes with 3 seats in a row. Which means by definition, it is going to be impossible for families of 4 to sit together and very difficult for families of 3. Families of 2 even get "split" on occasion.

And it isn't a big deal, except when it is a parent and a small child (and the FA's will assist with that one). Because not being next to every member of your immediate family simply is not that big a deal.

joe_miami

The GA example two posts above seems by far to be the best way to handle it. The only problem is that boarding often starts so early, it probably isn’t possible much of the time.

Ocn Vw 1K

IIRC, with my flight, the inbound was either a little late arriving and/or there was a slightly later boarding, so that most of the F-pax were in PA range of the podium when the GA started calling F aisle seat pax one at a time.

threeoh

If you scroll back a few dozen posts to a seat swap I had this summer, you'll see I that asking the GA can lead to a literal shouting match (between other pax and GA) and then a disgruntled seat meat for 8+ hours. Would have been much less disruptive if we had offered our one E+ seat to an E- pax onboard without going through UA, and several people on this thread suggested that that's exactly what we should have done (instead of asking the GA). Not sure I agree; I think asking GA (before boarding, no line at podium) if it's possible to sit together is totally reasonable; I also think it's fine to orchestrate 1- or 2-step swaps onboard, esp for long flights, as long as it's done politely, you're not trying to downgrade anyone, and you can take "no" for an answer. It's simply inefficient for people who want to sit together to sit apart when other people could sit in equivalent seats (and if you don't think the seat is equivalent, don't say yes!).

Some people say "only approach me once I'm seated; never poach my seat", while others say "please ask me before I get settled". Some people say "always go through GA/FA", other people say "I prefer to be approached directly and not involve the airline".

Some people have been burned badly by people trying to pull a fast one, so they say "no" every time. Others have been saved (able to sit next to small child or elderly parent, or maybe even their able-bodied partner) through the kindness of strangers and are happy to pay it forward.

So, it seems like there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Different passengers have different preferences. I think the conclusion I've reached from this thread is "feel free to ask GA or other pax; be prepared for a 'no'; be aware some people might think you're a jerk even if you ask politely and take the 'no' gracefully". When it comes to a situation where I can ask politely to sit next to my SO for 8 hours and the outcomes are 80% "yes", 15% "no" and no hard feelings, and 5% "no" and a total stranger thinks I'm a jerk, I'm going to risk it and go ahead and ask for the swap. Sorry, not sorry.

rickg523

1. Sorry, wasn't referring to you personally. And rules of the Fora disallow criticism of individual posters in any event. So no one is being named.
2. Actually, I thought this thread was about how folks deal with seat swap requests/demands, not any one particular circumstance
And I think there's general agreement that demands and, even worse, poaching are unacceptable and that a request denied is the final word, no arguing or passive aggressive nonsense is acceptable or should even be acknowledged.
But somewhere along the line the discussion became about whether it's acceptable to even approach a stranger and make a request in a public place. That's what I was commenting on.
To those who find this beyond the pale, I simply ask aren't you just setting yourself up for frustration, because I don't think even Emily Post or Miss Manners herself consider a polite request of a stranger to be prima facie rude. You will almost certainly be approached and asked things of strangers in public. It happens. I don't wonder whether your attitude itself engenders some bad behavior on the part of the requestor (even though that is never a justification). Thus making the whole situation somewhat self fulfilling of your trepidations.

cestmoi123

I've been on the other end of that situation, and also saw it very well handled by a GA. Upgraded at the gate while traveling with a three year old, assigned 2A and 3B. Went up to the podium, thanked the GA for the upgrade, asked if it would be possible for us to sit together. His initial response was no (totally fair, and what he should have said, no reason to ask other pax to move for my convenience normally). When I said that the other pax was three, he chuckled and said, well that's different. He paged 2B and 3A. 3A arrived at the counter, and I asked her if she'd mind switching to 2A so I could sit with my daughter. She said no problem, and we swapped, and everyone went on their merry way. If neither 2B nor 3A had been willing to switch (and this was window for window or aisle for aisle), then I would have just declined the upgrade.

iluv2fly

I am reminded about my favorite seat poaching experience:

Non-rev sitting in my assigned F seat and needed to have him switch

Proudelitist

Firstly, a family split up by IRROPs fits firmly into the category of NOT MY PROBLEM.

It is a problem between the family and the airline. As such, they can take it up with an airline representative. And as such, an FA or GA can ask me..or even order me..in which case there is recourse should it mean a downgrade or removal from a seat selected well in advance and paid extra for. I don't want to hear it from the family, I want to hear it from the airline as an order or request to move.

Nobody is saying people don't have a RIGHT to ask. What we are arguing is that it is RUDE to ask. I don't recall any of this being a question of rights.

rudycantfail0

I was physically assaulted once, after declining a seat swap request.

It was a few years ago, while I was in gradutate school, and an infrequent flyer (and before I discovered Flyertalk). Flying IAH-ORD, I was in the second to last row at the window. Guy - mid twenties, as was I - sits next to me in the middle, then a middle aged women takes the aisle. I overhear the guy in the middle ask the women in the aisle if she'll swap seats with his wife. He points at his wife, who was across the aisle on the back row, in the middle seat. The woman declines the request, and afer some pantamime discussion between this guy and his wife, he turns to me and asks me to swap with his wife.

I said "sorry, that seat does not recline, and I want to rest on this flight" . There is more discussion between this guy and his wife: "I asked. She said no. He said no. I asked both of them" and eventually he settles in for the flight. I was trying not to engage them, but I didn't see her ask her seatmates if they'd like to move up a row to his seat. Would have been a middle anyway.

We land at ORD, hear the ding, and the woman in the aisle seat moves into the aisle and up a row or so. The guy in the middle moves to the aisle seat and starts more conversation with his wife. I'm waiting for the aisle to clear, when I notice that the wife is glaring at me. I look away and then look back and she's still glaring at me. I decide to glare back at her for a bit to let her know I'm not bothered by it, then decide - this is stupid - and go back to minding my own business.

I deplane and head down to baggage claim, and after a few minutes see the couple from the plane also waiting for baggage. The wife spots me and continues the glaring routine from the plane. I ignore her. They get their bags - husband rolling the suitcases and the wife carrying a metallic hardside briefcase. As they leave the baggage claim area, the wife walks 10 feet out of her way to come right up next to me and hits me fairly hard in the leg with her briefcase. I wasn't injured, but I didn't like being hit. It was clearly intentional. I'm 6'2 and athletic, and this girl was maybe 5'1 on a good day, so what am I going to do? If I touch her, I'll lose that battle 100 times out of 100. I could confront her husband, but being married to her, that poor guy clearly was way worse off than me. So in the moment, I just said "Watch yourself, before you end up in jail" and she scurried off. In retrospect, I kind of wish I'd executed a soccer style flop, writhing in agony on the ground, calling for the paramedics and police to whom she could then explain herself.

But, yeah. Some people do become unhinged when you decline a request that most on here would consider unreasonable.

MSPeconomist

Since the FA who tried to insist that you swap seats was not the FC FA, I wonder whether the young girl could have been traveling NRSA/buddy pass and was related to the coach FA. I find it odd that any request to change seats in the FC cabin was not handled by the FC FA (or purser/flight leader). I wonder what the FC FA would have said if you had asked why the coach FA was so concerned about the girl's seat.

joe_miami

That’s a possibility. Another possibility is the FC FA asked the colleague to be the bad cop.

Loren Pechtel

Second this.

Also, by having the GA do it it's clear that they are spread apart through no fault of their own. You end up scattered because you bought basic economy thinking you could get someone to switch, I'm not interested. Also, by doing it at the gate there's no hassle while boarding.

Loren Pechtel

No need for theatrics but why not call the cops on her? They can pull the tapes and see what happened, they can use the seating chart to figure out who she is.

Kannai

I'm 85% on board but remember most people on planes don't fly often, and some fly almost never. While I'm almost never willing to give up my seat unless it's on a really really short flight, I do have sympathy with folks who don't understand the system.

rickg523

Fair enough. I withdraw the words "absolute right" and replace it with "condition".