weero

Nothing can protect you from a FAM in the premium cabin.

But back in coach, you most certainly you can pay for a stool or a series thereof.
There are most subtle downgrades - E+ to E-, aisle to window, moving furter back, the row in front of the exit row etc etc.
I find these standards mildly contradicting.

If a family in middles doesn't need help, the one in aisles most certainly doesn't either.

PTravel

Honestly? Because of attitudes like this. You have no basis for knowing why someone would refuse the request, and a short review of any of the FT threads would provide you with all sorts of reasons why a "reasonable person" would refuse. However, chief among the reasons is the requester's entitlement attitude, a family's needs trumps everyone else's on a plane.

The OP has gone about it the correct way, which is to ask how best to obtain adjacent seating and a number of posters, including me, have provided a number of good suggestions (grab some single aisle seats, insist, firmly but politely, that the GA handle the issue before boarding, check seat availability at the 24 hour mark, etc.). I, like most people, will trade like for like or for better. However, given the overall unpleasantness of travel in coach, I will not subject myself to significant discomfort, particularly on a long-haul, to help out the AIRLINE, which is the party responsible for splitting up the family in the first place (as in the case of the OP, though, far too often, it's a family that has "cheaped out" by not paying the small premium for reserved seats, or that has booked separate seats assuming an attitude like yours). Of course, if someone (and not just a family) is traveling in an emergency -- funeral, medical treatment, etc. -- I'll do whatever I can to help. That's basic human nature. However, otherwise, I don't care if you fly or not -- not my problem.

And I consider THAT reasonable. "Anything for a family," is not, and it is not good advice to the OP to suggest to contrary.

Nuggety

So we were able to secure 4 seats together when the bonus rows were released, so everything is settled. Our original seats returned to the plane, so this ended up being a lot of stress over nothing.

Thanks the the community and especially findark for the seat release timing!

PTravel

Glad everything worked out! Hope you enjoyed your trip.

Richym99

Excellent.^ I wondered if it was you that took the four seats in row 14.

Patience rewarded. Have a good flight.

Martina70

Glad to hear it worked out.

canadiancow

Unless a FAM would have a checkmark beside their name on the upgrade list, it wasn't a FAM.

My point was that if I have an aisle and you have a middle and you want to trade, that's not fair/reasonable. Aisle for aisle or middle for middle is. Aisle for window might be, depending on your preference. Obviously barring any serious issue with the other seat (like a POS neighbor or whatnot).

I just don't understand why it's not a good idea to help someone else out if it does not hurt you.

Look, if you have a reason to not move, that's fine.

If the requestor is being a dick (or poaching the seat), that's also fine.

But if someone comes up to me, in 22D, when I'm traveling alone, and asks me if I'd be willing to switch to 23C so that they can sit beside their companion in 22E, my answer is going to be yes.

I've been on both sides of this enough that if the trade is fair, I'm going to say yes. And my definition of "fair" in a premium cabin generally means "anything" (2-4-2 J notwithstanding).

For everyone who says "how dare you not give up your seat for me?", there's another who would just refuse to give up their seat under any circumstance, possibly with a line of reasoning like "I'm not going to help someone who couldn't be bothered to pick seats in advance".

I would not do "anything" for a family. But a reasonable trade request is far from "anything".

PTravel

This is what you wrote: "I find it hard to believe a reasonable person wouldn't trade an aisle for an aisle to help a family."

Implicit in that statement are two concepts: (1) that "helping a family," in and of itself, is compelling, and (2) anyone who wouldn't help a family is not "a reasonable person."

Sorry, but I don't agree with either. In that part of my post that you didn't quote, I was quite clear about what I considered compelling reasons for assisting people, including families, by swapping seats. That someone is travelling with children, with nothing more, is not one of them. As I've said, the airlines treat families abysmally, but the problem is between the family and the airline, not the family and other passengers. I find it highly offensive that someone would claim that refusing to help a family, without knowing the reason for the refusal, is unreasonable.

Asking for a seat swap is, and always will be, asking for a favor. If that favor is refused, the only response is a polite, "thanks, anyway," without judgment.

pindi

This! On a recent EWR-LAX flight, 3-4-3 config, I picked the aisle in the center row (I only pick aisles, and did not want 2 people climbing over me). At the end of boarding, in BG5, family of 4 boards. 2 kids (maybe 12 and 14) take the two middles next to me. Mom has a middle 4 rows up on the 3 side, dad has a middle 4 rows back in the center.

Mom comes up and asks me to trade with her saying she needs to sit next to her kids. I politely declined. She was livid. I just ignored her and continued reading my book. But it looked like they bought Basic Economy fare and were spread out all over the plane.

There was no way I was going to take a middle on a 5.5 hr flight!