There's a certain irony in that statement, given they've just taken you seriously enough to tell you you're doing your job wrong. 🤦‍♀️

I've got sooo many stories. Way back when I was flying DC-9's (yeah, I'm that old, but I was only an FO then) I had an irate passenger take me aside and show me an altimeter he had on board with him. He demanded to know why I flew the entire flight at 8,000 feet, and how unsafe that was. It was all I could do to not wet myself with laughter. I was able to compose myself and explain how cabin pressurization works.

Anyway, these stories aren't in the true spirit of the thread, so I apologize for the divergence. Now back to your regular programing....

If there isn't already a thread for these, please start one! If there is, please add to it! And let us know how we can buy your book when you've written it. :cool: :tu:

Please, please, please tell me that this flight passed over the Rockies.

”I demand to know why you flew us through that mountain!”

EWR Polaris lounge today.

New one for me. Family of 7 in Polaris lounge, 4/7 wearing socks walking around the lounge. One also decided to take socks off and pick at their feet while sitting in one of the chairs.

Boarded my flight, different person walking around barefoot on the plane (Row 7)

Fun start to the year. (Though maybe passenger hygiene deserves its own thread)

Ick, ick ick.

I wear the slippers on the plane (and shoes in the lounge and for takeoff and landing). I took my best friend on a trip and we were upstairs on the 747 (miss that plane) and she knew I would periodically get up and walk down the stairs and round the plane and back again. She decided to do the same thing (and I was asleep) and she went in socks - not the socks they give you in the amenity bag as she wanted to "save" them but her own socks. Also, wanted to "save" the slippers. I wake to her shaking me awake as she has trodden in someone's vomit when walking round the plane. She did not have a spare change of clothes. I did and lent her my socks telling her to wear the slippers next time. I mean the bathrooms are disgusting enough and sticky underfoot. I have no faith in the cleanliness of the carpets on planes. I request the mattress pads because the seats are not cleaned well.

Reverting to my original comment, ick, ick, ick.

I'd say this kid ticks all the boxes of a high functioning autistic individual.

Possibly, but what about the mother? In my mind she's the one that misbehaved in this scenario.

In the interest of bumping the thread, I'll share a YDKWIA (you don't know who I am) story...

This was on a CRJ-200, MKE–ORD. I'm seated in 4C. A lady boards and sits next to me in 4D. Two other passengers, business types in suits, sit in 4A and 4B. (I may be a business type too but I usually wear jeans on the plane.)

The FA comes down the aisle with snack boxes to hand to 1K/GS. Looks at the lady next to me for a half second, then back to me, and quietly and a bit apprehensively asks, "Mr. Nakamoto?" Now I am a 6-foot-tall, fairly Germanic looking man. I gently shake my head and say "um, no." She says, "I didn't think so."

FA then looks across the aisle and sees that a man who is much more apparently Mr. Nakamoto is in 4A. It turns out Mr. Nakamoto was supposed to be in 4D, but the lady next to me had taken the wrong side of the plane, so he just took 4A rather than ask her to move. (And after all, it's a 19-minute flight and the window seats are all equally unpleasant. Even more to 4A's credit, passenger in 4B was a large man on a small plane.)

No big deal and we all had a good laugh over it.

Devil's Chariot...
 

Snack boxes on a CRJ-200?

Had something similar the other week. Was flying Canada to UA hub non-rev, meaning I boarded last. I snagged the last free Y seat on the plane (privileges does not include F travel, 3 empty seats) and it was this cramped seat near the rear lavs. "No worries," I tell myself, "at least I have my window seat to look over the Central US for the first time in my life".

Got to my window seat to find some guy had taken it, and I was bit peeved, but ultimately I didn't really care because I didn't want to make a stink as nonrev, plus we were so delayed I didn't want to engage the crew anymore than they were. Turns out the guy didn't even speak English when drink service came around because he took a good 30 seconds to convey his request for "water"

Service director came by mid-flight (or whatever UA calls them...pursers maybe?) and asked the gentleman if he was flying "pass travel". He had no idea what that meant, of course. It's my first nonrev so I, too, also don't know what "pass travel" means. I asked the crew member if he meant me since I was doing nonrev (because I look more "Nakomoto"-like on his manifest), and he said yes, we engaged in a bit of chatter, and he upgraded me to F with full meal service an hour after everybody else had eaten. Was really thankful to have the YDKWIA go my way and not have the other guy upgraded instead heheh

This is several months ago now so my memory is a bit hazy, but as far as I can recall that’s what it was. Maybe they put some on our flight since we were delayed by an hour leaving MKE. That part I remember clearly—my 1h40m layover in ORD became 0h40m and involved the long walk from F to C.

Oh yeah :td:!

Someone should tell Mom he won’t POSSIBLY be assigned to the F-18 pipeline until well after Academy graduation. And being such a Momma’s boy he doesn’t fit the typical fighter pilot profile. Had he been the one doing the confronting, (perhaps unfortunately) he’d probably be more likely to end up flying F-18s.

Reminds me of the Mom who demanded I call a plastic surgeon to the ER to remove a splinter from her 12 year old’s finger because he's “a piano player who's going to Julliard” (where admissions start at age 17-18).

Reminds me of cruise ship pax who, while in the middle of the ocean, ask us (crew) “where do you live (during the cruise)”? Some of them actually think the crew commutes to and from the ship every day.

(writing as ER doc, Navy Flight Surgeon, part-time cruise ship doc, 1800 hr private pilot Foreflight user)

My uncle was in the Air Force, my grandfather was Army -- and I will never forget the first time I sat in the front seat of an f-14 at Miramar -- so being a naval aviator it was for me (yes I'm old)..... But then my eyes went south -- so off to business school for me... I still to this day envy all AF / Naval aviators -- it was my life goal, but things worked out ok for me -- but I still dream about it weekly....

Part time cruise ship doc? Where do you live when you’re not a doctor? 😂

Nah. Had you sat in a F-4 Phantom or F-8 Crusader you’d be old. F-9 Cougar you’d be really old. Prop fighter you’d be …

Yeah, although I missed the days of working vacation cruise ship docs changing every week (in exchange for a free family cruise), I was still able to work just a week or 2 or 3 each year filling in for a 6-9 month contracted doc when one of them was on vacation or at a conference.

Hmmm, so many snarky, sarcastic, humorous, witty replies :D (all of which are beyond me :eek:), so little time :D.

To answer, IAW with FT forum rules, I’ll go with “here at FT” :tu:.

It was the early 1990's -- the funny thing is that I can still remember the feeling in the front seat -- and also being amazed at how "flimsy" the outer skin of an F-14 is -- way thinner and more pliable than I had imagined...

Still far from “old”, early 90’s children are still "babies" (in the age context, not any derogatory context) to some of us :).

Sorry if I’m writing the obvious. Skin didn’t have to be “thick”, it was designed to be mainly a missile fighter, not a gun fighter. Missile hit would bring it down regardless of skin thickness, gun hit was considered less likely (than prior fighters and a missile hit), skin thick enough to protect against either, especially with advancements in fighter gun projectiles, would have been prohibitively heavy, too heavy to fly. (I absolutely defer to those more knowledgeable than I.)

Yes -- the strength of these planes come from the frame, not the skin -- but It was just something I was not expecting at all for a supersonic modern aircraft -- when I would push on the panel it would literally "give" some -- was very surprising but learned a lot that day! I was able to try out multiple planes and each pilot thought that the model they flew was clearly the best lol -- especially the F14 pilots versus the F18...

There was a joke in another thread about the big guy upstairs pretending to be a pilot -- that's doubly true for fighter pilots!

OK - back to more DYKWIA!

Let's remember the thread topic -- DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) -- recent posts have drifted away from thread topic

WineCountryUA
UA coModerator

Although it's not our airline I may have just come across the top Arline DYKWIA of 2023.


Note: If you have two police officers sitting on you while they're trying to hog tie you after you've been denied boarding by the captain and (allegedly) assaulted 3 gate agents yelling that you're an "American Executive Platinum Person" isn't going to help ...

what a tool. That looks like C29 DFW to me. I thought all the crazy stuff happens at MIA. Perhaps rack-o was on her way there.

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.fly...b811084021.jpg


Rules are for the little people.

Obviously he can't see the sign - so I would have picked it up, waved it around a couple times, then placed it back on the table facing the miscreant for easier viewing.

This is why I need to waste Lysol wipes cleaning off tables and seats before I sit down in the lounge - and this isn't limited to United, it's everywhere except lounges in Asia where I've never seen anyone dare do something like this, nor do they need signs telling them not to.

I vote for more Lounge Dragons to be out and about in the lounge waking people up who are sleeping across multiple seats, scolding people with feet on furniture, confiscating outside food, tying up children who are running around screaming, waving "be quiet!" signs at people yelling into their phones, and slapping people who stick their hands in the food trays. Only then can peace and civility return to what should be a more refined experience.

ORD Polaris for the late LHR flight this week and had to listen to two blowhards get drunk in the tables across from the bar. Going on-and-on about how the premium spirits aren't as good as they were when Polaris opened. Talking about great lounges in the Mideast that are soooooo much better than the O'Hare Polaris. Throwing around Global Services a ton in travel stories. Eventually start yelling about Rolexes, blah, blah, blah. These guys are two lmid-to-ate 40s tools, work in some aspect of the private side of aerospace/defense. Eventually we go to board and it turns out not only are they both 1Ks but one of them couldn't even support an UG (C went out with 5 empty seats)! I'm in the galley waiting for the lav after take off and the one in business comes up and I engage him. He's telling me what a long travel day they've had and I ask where he started and he says "LAX" to which I just say with as much genuine curiosity as possible "Oh, they had direct LAX > LHR flights when I lived out there?". He tells me the only way to get in C as a Global Services was this routing. The purser overhead all of this and made the point of saying a very loud "thank you for being 1K" to him as he delivered his choice of meal.

I just don't understand how people make their way through the world like this.

I would note that he tipped the Polairs bar tended a grand total of $5 for his 6+ drinks in the 90 minutes before we boarded. Just strong showing all around.

If anyone, like I almost did, stopped halfway through, I highly recommend watching the second half of that video. The 2 police officers are literal saints.

Alcohol problems and (sometimes closet) alcoholism, which cause many DYKWIA and many more severely problematic incidents, are much more pervasive than many people understand. Best evidence is that during COVID shutdowns several 4 years ago, many states designated Liquor Stores as Essential Businesses in good part so hospitals and ERs would not be inundated with people in Alcohol Withdrawal (a true medical emergency) at the same time they were overwhelmed with COVID patients. If alcohol was “discovered” today, it would be an illegal and/or controlled dangerous substance. Just like tobacco, only it’s billion dollar industry status prevents it from being illegal. Remove alcohol, remove many DYKWIA.

Since the one person was in the Polaris lounge without having an upgrade cleared, does that mean someone in a Star Alliance F cabin had him as a guest?

But as this has drifted from thread's DYKWIA topic

Have moved recent posts to Is sleeping allowed at any United {Club} lounges?
Additionally, there have been many other threads issues of UC patrons, nothing particularly new = consider continuing in those threads.
United Devalues Clubs - Makes sure they are packed beyond capacity.
Inconsiderate users of United Clubs-loud phone call/speakerphone, watching videos..
UA Club House Rules
Multiple threads on wild/running/loud children

Let's return to DYKWIA topic for this thread

WineCountryUA
UA coModerator

How did blowhard #2 get into the Polaris lounge then?

I honestly don't know but he was squarely in premium plus all flight.

Indeed. Moral of the story: Lincoln was spot on.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.fly...9a473b3761.jpg

Obviously, they KWIA!

on the 19 minute MKE-ORD flight? It’s been years since I even got a cup of water on that flight!

Had a wackadoodle experience on a short hop intra-Texas today.

I board towards the end and am in 1D on the 175. Guy in 1C and I don’t interact at all. FA kindly places my backpack in the closet.

Once at cruise FA comes to do a quick drink service. Asks row 1 what they want and 1C orders “2 bourbons, a Coke, a glass with no ice and a glass with ice.” FA says she can’t give him two right now but can give him one and if he needs another ask. She then asks me what I would like and I reply “Buffalo trace and sprite” - she says ok. Shortly after, FA comes with 1C’s order but he declines the ice cup. She then comes with my order which is already premixed in a plastic cup.

1C finishes his first Bourbon in approximately 2.5 seconds. As the FA is returning to the front galley after delivering Row 2 drinks and getting row 3’s orders, he is aggressively trying to hand her the empty bourbon and makes an exacerbated sigh. Continues to try and look around the wall into the galley to get her attention. Eventually he pushes the FA call button, and the FA comes and he, without saying a word, hands her the empty bourbon - which she takes and then, again without saying a word, gives him another!

At this point I am rather surprised at the aggressiveness of this passenger but also impressed that he got two drinks on this flight and that the FA had been so accommodating. Fast forward about 3 minutes and a different FA comes through the cabin collecting all the trash as we’ve started to descend. 1C has finished all of his and hands her his plethora of trash. Mine is still quite full and FA tells me “You’re going to have to chug that we are on final.” I asked “can I just hold it?” (All tray tables were up/closed) and she says “No because we are on final so we need it all. During initial yes but not final”. To which I proceeded to just “chug” the drink and I hand it to her at which point 1C says “You two are just making up all sorts of rules today aren’t ya?!”

Well the original FA hears this from the galley and comes around and just does not cower to the guy saying how they did not make up any rules, that she saw his eye rolls and snark the whole flight, and that this was just a 10 minute flight and that all the service they provided during the flight was done because she wants to make the flight enjoyable but she is not required to do so. Well 1C doesn’t back down either saying “I know you made up those rules do you think I don’t have access to the same Flight Manuals you do?” He was surprisingly aggressive and there was even discussion of involving the pilot. They truly shouted at each other for about 2 uncomfortable minutes. After this both FAs retreat to the back and nobody says a word. (I’m mostly looking out the window)

The FA returns to sit in her jump seat again without a word. I look over and give her a smile which she returns. Then, she asks me how I am and we engage in small talk and I thank her for stowing my backpack in the closet. She takes this opportunity to explain to me (but mostly 1C) that the manual says nothing in the closet because there is safety equipment in there and they need access to it but occasionally she can make smaller bags work if she rearranges stuff.

Anyway I have a lot of thoughts but wanted to see what FT thinks. 1C had DYKWIA attitude, though.

1C's an alcoholic.

It was a lot. I hated being tangentially involved.

Back in the days when we were all less sensitive -- I would be commuting from upstate NY to Tokyo -- My strategy for time shifting was to stay up all night -- have a few drinks once I got on the first fight (back then there was no Polaris club lol and I had to go immediately to the flight to Tokyo) -- and then go right to sleep on the longhaul to NRT (from either ORD, IAD, or EWR). My go to drink was a double vodka on the rocks -- the amused looks on the FA's faces when I would order that at 7am always made my day -- since I always explained why I was always served.... Equally amused would be my seatmates... This is also how I discovered that you could get a drink in terminal A at EWR earlier than terminal C....

Yes 1C probably has a problem....

I failed to mention he’s also a tool.

I had no issue with 1C ordering the drinks. I also had a bourbon at noon on a Sunday. But the whole interaction was so uncomfortable and wrong.

my biggest fear is these types ruining it for the rest of us