Last edit by: WineCountryUA
A thread making {gentle} fun of the anonymous "Don't You Know Who I Am" (DYKWIAs) we run across in our travels.
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Previous thread DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) (Archive)
DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines)
#61
Join Date: Nov 2010
Programs: United 1K, Bonvoy & Hilton Gold
Posts: 36
TPE-SFO (Polaris seats):
Just before boarding, more than ten non-rev passengers clear into J, including some odd-numbered window seats.
GS preboards, seats himself in 5A.
Passenger who lined up in Group 1 boards, brandishes her BP for 5A, says to seat-occupier, that's my seat.
Fake-5A claims he thought he had sat in 4A.
True-5A says no, gestures to placards.
Fake-5A says OK, hesitates, and then asks if True-5A wouldn't mind swapping since 'his stuff is all there already'.
True-5A explains the difference between 5A and 4A, including that 5A has windows.
Fake-5A stands up, reaches over to close the 4A cubby door and show that 4A has half of a window.
True-5A says something in a dissatisfied tone.
Fake-5A waits.
True-5A says nevermind, accepts swap.
Fake-5A says, Are you sure?, It's an expensive seat, I want to be sure you're happy.
True-5A wants nothing more to do with Fake-5A.
The poacher's appeal sounded disingenuous, and I'd imagine someone flying enough to be granted GS status should be familiar enough with aircraft to find the right seat. I would have liked to have said something to put things right, but couldn't think of a way to insert myself into the situation.
Just before boarding, more than ten non-rev passengers clear into J, including some odd-numbered window seats.
GS preboards, seats himself in 5A.
Passenger who lined up in Group 1 boards, brandishes her BP for 5A, says to seat-occupier, that's my seat.
Fake-5A claims he thought he had sat in 4A.
True-5A says no, gestures to placards.
Fake-5A says OK, hesitates, and then asks if True-5A wouldn't mind swapping since 'his stuff is all there already'.

True-5A explains the difference between 5A and 4A, including that 5A has windows.
Fake-5A stands up, reaches over to close the 4A cubby door and show that 4A has half of a window.
True-5A says something in a dissatisfied tone.
Fake-5A waits.
True-5A says nevermind, accepts swap.
Fake-5A says, Are you sure?, It's an expensive seat, I want to be sure you're happy.

True-5A wants nothing more to do with Fake-5A.
The poacher's appeal sounded disingenuous, and I'd imagine someone flying enough to be granted GS status should be familiar enough with aircraft to find the right seat. I would have liked to have said something to put things right, but couldn't think of a way to insert myself into the situation.

"clearly, you know 5A is a more desirable seat, and you're trying to pressure this passenger into switching with you. should i call the FA over?"
feels a bit like cornering someone and repeatedly asking them to go on a date with you until they acquiesce.
#62
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: PHX
Programs: AS 75K; UA 1K 1MM; Hyatt Globalist; Marriott Ti, LTP; Hilton Diamond (Aspire)
Posts: 55,212
#63
Join Date: Nov 2010
Programs: United 1K, Bonvoy & Hilton Gold
Posts: 36
#64
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: LAX/TPE
Programs: United 1K, JAL Sapphire, SPG Lifetime Platinum, National Executive Elite, Hertz PC, Avis PC
Posts: 41,526
"Get out of my seat!" also works well when it's an obnoxious poacher who obviously knows what they are doing. Honestly I just don't have any patience with those people - another reason I try to board as early as possible.
#65
Join Date: May 2010
Location: AVP & PEK
Programs: UA 1K 1.8MM
Posts: 5,783
Regrettably, in this case, a show of force would have been the only way to get this bully to go to their proper seat.
#66
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: USA
Programs: UA Gold, Marriott Gold
Posts: 1,125
I like public shaming when dealing with a self-entitled jerk like that. "I'm sorry you unpacked everything and got yourself settled in my seat but an experienced traveler like you must know that people select seats for a reason. I appreciate the fact you like my seat, I chose it for a reason and it's too bad you didn't select it first but don't give me your song-and-dance or try to bully me, just get out of my seat please."
#67
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PNS
Programs: DL FO, UA, AA
Posts: 696
I like public shaming when dealing with a self-entitled jerk like that. "I'm sorry you unpacked everything and got yourself settled in my seat but an experienced traveler like you must know that people select seats for a reason. I appreciate the fact you like my seat, I chose it for a reason and it's too bad you didn't select it first but don't give me your song-and-dance or try to bully me, just get out of my seat please."

#68
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: EWR, PHL
Programs: UA1k 3MM, AA Plt, peasant on everybody else, elite something or other at a bunch of hotels.
Posts: 4,630
While the voice inside my head would be thinking of all kinds of snarky responses, I would suggest that this is neither the time nor the place to act on those impulses. Politely standing your ground should be all that is necessary, following up by asking an FA to intervene if that does not work.
#69
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PNS
Programs: DL FO, UA, AA
Posts: 696
While the voice inside my head would be thinking of all kinds of snarky responses, I would suggest that this is neither the time nor the place to act on those impulses. Politely standing your ground should be all that is necessary, following up by asking an FA to intervene if that does not work.
#70


Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: HKG • Ex SFO, NYC
Programs: UA 1K, AA EXP; Marriott Amb; Hyatt Globalist; Shangri-la Diamond; IHG SpireAmb; Hilton D; Accor G
Posts: 3,314
Ok, I was being a bit over dramatic, but there are MANY mentions on multiple threads from different airlines here where the FA just doesn't care and doesn't want anything to do with it. So you either deal with it yourself in a "polite" manner or succumb. Yeah of course you can email 1k, GS, DL Diamond, DL 360, AA EXP, AA CK, etc.. If the FA gives a shrug and a "not my problem" which looks like the norm now then what do you do? You start any kind of scruff on a plane today and it is your fault and the others no matter what. Polite only works with other polite people, the rest could not give a damn and take advantage.
#71
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Programs: UA 1k
Posts: 107
this is insane and it angers me that a GS would try to forcibly pressure someone to switch seats with them.
"clearly, you know 5A is a more desirable seat, and you're trying to pressure this passenger into switching with you. should i call the FA over?"
feels a bit like cornering someone and repeatedly asking them to go on a date with you until they acquiesce.
"clearly, you know 5A is a more desirable seat, and you're trying to pressure this passenger into switching with you. should i call the FA over?"
feels a bit like cornering someone and repeatedly asking them to go on a date with you until they acquiesce.
I had someone sit in my seat on boarding a recent (17h!) flight. I noticed when going through the door and mentioned it to the FA who looked at my BP and confirmed "yeah, he's in the wrong spot" which made the following (paraphrased) easier:
Me: "I'm sorry, I think you are in my seat."
Seat Swapper: "Oh, I got them mixed up. Do you mind?"
M: "Yes, I like this one"
SS: "Really, it makes a difference to you?" (and he points to his unpacked stuff)
M: "Yes, I'm particular".
He seemed irritated with me that I made him move over (we were in 6 D/E on a 789), but not half as irritated as I'd have been if I'd let him take my obsessively carefully chosen seat.
#73
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Somewhere in EWR
Programs: UA GS, HH Diamond
Posts: 786
Love the presentation and would definitely say that, but I would need to pull a card out of my wallet to read it to them as I wouldn't be able to memorize that. I think that would even be better...
Tell the offending passenger "hold on a second I have to get something out of my wallet/purse.. then begin to read from the laminated card" That would make them think twice/thrice..

#74
Join Date: Feb 2015
Programs: UA 1K
Posts: 935
Yeah, that really sucks (in particular the gender dynamics at display...).
I had someone sit in my seat on boarding a recent (17h!) flight. I noticed when going through the door and mentioned it to the FA who looked at my BP and confirmed "yeah, he's in the wrong spot" which made the following (paraphrased) easier:
Me: "I'm sorry, I think you are in my seat."
Seat Swapper: "Oh, I got them mixed up. Do you mind?"
M: "Yes, I like this one"
SS: "Really, it makes a difference to you?" (and he points to his unpacked stuff)
M: "Yes, I'm particular".
He seemed irritated with me that I made him move over (we were in 6 D/E on a 789), but not half as irritated as I'd have been if I'd let him take my obsessively carefully chosen seat.
I had someone sit in my seat on boarding a recent (17h!) flight. I noticed when going through the door and mentioned it to the FA who looked at my BP and confirmed "yeah, he's in the wrong spot" which made the following (paraphrased) easier:
Me: "I'm sorry, I think you are in my seat."
Seat Swapper: "Oh, I got them mixed up. Do you mind?"
M: "Yes, I like this one"
SS: "Really, it makes a difference to you?" (and he points to his unpacked stuff)
M: "Yes, I'm particular".
He seemed irritated with me that I made him move over (we were in 6 D/E on a 789), but not half as irritated as I'd have been if I'd let him take my obsessively carefully chosen seat.
#75
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CLE, DCA, and 30k feet
Programs: Honors LT Diamond; United 1K; Hertz PC
Posts: 3,990
So I had almost this exact situation occur on a flight from EWR-TLV a few months back. Poacher was sitting in my seat (I was pulled out for random check upon boarding and ended up with the end of BG1- I am fairly certain poacher was not GS). He claimed "religious reasons" for his need to sit there. I explained I shared his religion, and though I was considerably less observant, I was well aware that there were no valid religious reasons for him to move. He became belligerent, threatening to make my flight unpleasant if he were forced to cede my seat to me. Luckily a FA was close by, and he came over as he saw a brewing confrontation. After another thirty seconds of a standoff, I looked over to FA. He asked to seat BPs, told the poacher he was in the wrong seat and needed to move immediately so as not to hold up boarding. Poacher tried to make his original argument, and FA said that if that were the case he needed to have fixed that prior to boarding and that he could "either move or I'll have to radio to the gate to see what they recommend we do....it's possible that tomorrow's flight can better accomodate your needs if that is necessary". He moved. A few hours in I thanked the FA, and he said that his crew has gotten pretty good at handling those situations. He doesn't escalate, stays calm, and informs them that UA can take care of them.....but it's not going to be on this plane at this time.
I'm not observant of any particular religion, but I do get a little claustrophobic, especially on longer flights, if I can't see outside of the small metal tube, so I always book a window, and watch the assignments with some frequency to ensure no aircraft swap, etc. But this doesn't mean if I wind up in an aisle (IROPS, battlefield upgrade, whatever) that I'll just poach the windowee's seat. I'll board early, take my assigned seat, and when Mr./Ms. Window arrives just ask if they may prefer the aisle. So far I'm at 99%+ success [Out of 827 flights logged, only 1 middle and 18 aisles actually flown], with most people happy, even enthusiastic, to swap and I don't feel like I've walked over someone to get what I desired. Of course, I reciprocate when it comes to swapping rows for couples, etc. as long as they're polite and ask. Poach or start demanding, no thanks.
A little courtesy, especially when asking for a favor, goes a long way