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DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) [2016 onward]

DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) [2016 onward]

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Old Jun 6, 19, 6:17 am   -   Wikipost
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A thread making {gentle} fun of the anonymous "Don't You Know Who I Am" (DYKWIAs) we run across in our travels.

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Old May 23, 19, 2:36 pm
  #1051  
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Originally Posted by hindle View Post
A few years back I was on a 737, sitting in the bulkhead row in seat A. No surprise, all of the overhead bins in the front of coach were full with the doors closed already. The person in seat C had gone to the bathroom at this point.
Some clown comes on board, opens the bin above me and proceeds to pull Mr. C's briefcase down and puts HIS bag in the same spot. I confront him and ask why he's moving other people's bags onto the floor without asking and he gives me a rant about how he's paid for his ticket and he has the right to this space as well. I decide to not escalate the situation and let him go about his business as he re-closes the bin and walks to the back of the plane.

45 seconds later, I get up, take his bag out and put it on the ground (mind you, he just left Mr. C's briefcase sitting in the aisle and just walked away), and then put Mr. C's stuff back up top. When the FA comes around asking who's bag was sitting on the ground, I explain to him what had happened and he gladly found the offending passenger and checked the luggage for him.
Ideally, there was plenty of overhead space available at the back when he walked there, and none by the time the FA got there with his bag.
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Old Jun 5, 19, 10:20 am
  #1052  
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Cross this with the "celebrity sightings" thread, though I would use that definition loosely. Was on a 777-222 LAX > ORD yesterday with the GF cabin. I was in 2A and was bounced for an FAM down to 6C. Not great, but short flight so I don't really care. Shortly after I settle into my seat with my PDB (great FAs, by the way) I start to hear a commotion in row 7. A 50-year-old gentleman in a baseball hat is absolutely losing his mind about being in the business class cabin after having walked through the FC cabin. He starts to shout at the FA "I paid $2,500 for this ticket! This is the worst! there is no room for my arms! I want to sit up there!". I would note that later he upped that amount to "Three Grand!". He continues down this path for 15 minutes and eventually has a FA go and get a station manager who comes on and basically says "I get your frustration, there's nothing we can do, there wasn't an aircraft swap so this is actually the seat you booked." This is when the guy starts shouting "I'M JUDGE MATHIS! I'M JUDGE MATHIS AND THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!". It took every ounce of my self control not to just burst out laughing. Was live texting this to some buddies who were getting a big kick out of it.

During the flight I was chatting with one of the FAs and basically said I think they remained incredibly calm in the face of such a ridiculous tantrum. I also mentioned that I had been bumped for the FAM that was obviously sitting in my previously assigned 2A. I told him I wanted to go up to him and just say "I'm Global Services and you're in my courtroom now judge!".

So ridiculous. I do NOT miss living in LA and being ex-LAX where this seems to be so much more common.

Last edited by LIH; Jun 5, 19 at 10:25 am
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Old Jun 5, 19, 11:27 am
  #1053  
 
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Originally Posted by LIH View Post
This is when the guy starts shouting "I'M JUDGE MATHIS! I'M JUDGE MATHIS AND THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!".
Outside of a few shows that I DVR, I don't watch much TV anymore so I had to Google who (I assume) this was:

"Judge Greg Mathis is unlike most adjudicators you'd see in a courtroom. The former Detroit-area district court judge infuses his court sessions with a generous dose of humor as he listens to diverse litigants plead their small-claims cases in his TV courtroom."

Maybe he'll air his complaints to UA in a future episode
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Old Jun 5, 19, 11:31 am
  #1054  
 
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Originally Posted by LIH View Post
"I'm Global Services and you're in my courtroom now judge!".
This is the best line that I have heard in a long time. You should have used it. Bravo.
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Old Jun 5, 19, 2:13 pm
  #1055  
 
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Originally Posted by Zorak View Post
I don't watch much TV anymore so I had to Google who (I assume) this was:
lol
I had to do the exact same thing!
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Old Jun 5, 19, 2:50 pm
  #1056  
 
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Originally Posted by seenitall View Post
This is the best line that I have heard in a long time. You should have used it. Bravo.
Maybe Judge Mathis would have replied “I’m ‘Global,’ too,” while simultaneously flashing his Global Entry card.
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Old Jun 5, 19, 3:22 pm
  #1057  
 
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Ok I fly Sfo-ord and I last saw a GF for this route in 2013 or so for 767-300. I’m a tad green with envy that lax gets a 3-class 777, big wow!!
sorry about the FAM bump and glad you got to stay in F. My main FAM fear is getting a cabin downgrade and only a tiny downgrade credit.
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Old Jun 6, 19, 1:57 pm
  #1058  
 
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Interesting encounter

I'm on a moving walkway in the international terminal (SFO) in my way to the gate for a United flight. This lady, in front of me, getting off the walkway, drops her bag and bends over to collect her stuff, blocking most of the exit to the walkway.

It's a moving walkway, and she is RIGHT at the exit, so I'm going to bump into her if I don't react. So I move to the left edge of the wakway and step around her to get off the walkway. She turns to me, and says, "step over me, why don't you?". I say, "what do you want me to do, slam into you"? She tells me to go F myself. I smile, make a comment about her lack of intelligence under my breath, and continue on to the gate.

Fun times...
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Old Jun 6, 19, 2:13 pm
  #1059  
 
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I've always wondered why there's two moving walkways from those concourses and only one to... Any of you Bay area UA denizens know THE answer?

OP - tell her if she'll wait there, you'll go back around and slam into her if it makes her feel better.
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Old Jun 6, 19, 2:14 pm
  #1060  
 
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Probably more fitting for Travel Buzz. Don't ever assume there is logic in how people behave at the airport.
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Old Jun 6, 19, 4:05 pm
  #1061  
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Originally Posted by LIH View Post
Cross this with the "celebrity sightings" thread, though I would use that definition loosely. Was on a 777-222 LAX > ORD yesterday with the GF cabin. I was in 2A and was bounced for an FAM down to 6C. Not great, but short flight so I don't really care. Shortly after I settle into my seat with my PDB (great FAs, by the way) I start to hear a commotion in row 7. A 50-year-old gentleman in a baseball hat is absolutely losing his mind about being in the business class cabin after having walked through the FC cabin. He starts to shout at the FA "I paid $2,500 for this ticket! This is the worst! there is no room for my arms! I want to sit up there!". I would note that later he upped that amount to "Three Grand!". He continues down this path for 15 minutes and eventually has a FA go and get a station manager who comes on and basically says "I get your frustration, there's nothing we can do, there wasn't an aircraft swap so this is actually the seat you booked." This is when the guy starts shouting "I'M JUDGE MATHIS! I'M JUDGE MATHIS AND THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!". It took every ounce of my self control not to just burst out laughing. Was live texting this to some buddies who were getting a big kick out of it.

During the flight I was chatting with one of the FAs and basically said I think they remained incredibly calm in the face of such a ridiculous tantrum. I also mentioned that I had been bumped for the FAM that was obviously sitting in my previously assigned 2A. I told him I wanted to go up to him and just say "I'm Global Services and you're in my courtroom now judge!".

So ridiculous. I do NOT miss living in LA and being ex-LAX where this seems to be so much more common.
Was it really this guy?



Sucker. I paid $104 for this flight last week and got the free upgrade! GF went out with three opens seats!
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Old Jun 6, 19, 4:30 pm
  #1062  
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Originally Posted by VegasGambler;31177277I
say, "what do you want me to do, slam into you"? She tells me to go F myself.
Yes, that would be SFO.

Originally Posted by IAH-OIL-TRASH View Post
I've always wondered why there's two moving walkways from those concourses and only one to... Any of you Bay area UA denizens know THE answer?
I think the rationale is that arrivals result in big masses of passengers all at once, versus a more steady stream who are heading to the boarding gate.
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Old Jun 6, 19, 7:10 pm
  #1063  
 
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Originally Posted by VegasGambler View Post
I'm on a moving walkway in the international terminal (SFO) in my way to the gate for a United flight. This lady, in front of me, getting off the walkway, drops her bag and bends over to collect her stuff, blocking most of the exit to the walkway.

It's a moving walkway, and she is RIGHT at the exit, so I'm going to bump into her if I don't react. So I move to the left edge of the wakway and step around her to get off the walkway. She turns to me, and says, "step over me, why don't you?". I say, "what do you want me to do, slam into you"? She tells me to go F myself. I smile, make a comment about her lack of intelligence under my breath, and continue on to the gate.

Fun times...
Originally Posted by IAH-OIL-TRASH View Post
I've always wondered why there's two moving walkways from those concourses and only one to... Any of you Bay area UA denizens know THE answer?

OP - tell her if she'll wait there, you'll go back around and slam into her if it makes her feel better.
Originally Posted by Kacee View Post
Yes, that would be SFO.


I think the rationale is that arrivals result in big masses of passengers all at once, versus a more steady stream who are heading to the boarding gate.
Which moving walkways? I'm not picturing it. For departures, I thought whichever direction you go, there is always only one going 'forward', and that one is to the right. For arrivals, I thought there were two in one direction and none, rather than one, in the other.

(This is in the international G terminal being discussed, right?)
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Old Jun 6, 19, 7:15 pm
  #1064  
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Originally Posted by Kacee View Post
Yes, that would be SFO.


I think the rationale is that arrivals result in big masses of passengers all at once, versus a more steady stream who are heading to the boarding gate.
Aren't the bouncy walkways fun? They're like mini trampolines and always make me feel like a kid using them.
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Old Jun 6, 19, 7:30 pm
  #1065  
 
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Originally Posted by helvetic View Post
Aren't the bouncy walkways fun? They're like mini trampolines and always make me feel like a kid using them.
If/when they get renov-graded (up? down? side?)-graded I will be sad. My wife thought I was loosing it on our way back from Tokyo when i just did a few laps bouncing my way down the moving trampolines before our flight the rest of the way home. Some of my most vivid early flying memories are passing through SFO on my way to visit my grandparents (MFR) or the return. Wow 25+ that was years ago. I'm getting old.
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