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DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) [2016 onward]

DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines) [2016 onward]

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Old Jun 6, 19, 6:17 am   -   Wikipost
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A thread making {gentle} fun of the anonymous "Don't You Know Who I Am" (DYKWIAs) we run across in our travels.

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Old Aug 19, 18, 6:18 pm
  #856  
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Originally Posted by smxflyer View Post
Think it's largely a DEL thing. Was just there last weekend. So much crowding for every line (immigration, security etc). Just flew out of BLR and it's amazing how much more civilized things are even though it's the same country (I know the BLR crowd is different than the DEL crowd but don't want to get into a discussion of Indian regionalisms)
never seen these issues out of BLR. Have been on the BLR-FRA a few times.
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Old Sep 26, 18, 11:32 pm
  #857  
 
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Extreme Entitlement

I was patiently waiting in the line for group 1 in SFO. The agent was helping a Group 3 family (I was drinking in the Centurion during pre-boarding so my bad) . It wasnít a big deal. A couple guys had stacked up behind me. Also not a big deal we are all gonna get on the damn plane!

So we are all shocked when a gentleman pushes us all out the way, declaring ď I am 1K!Ē He pushes the family at the podium out of the way and drops a snarl of crumpled boarding passes down! He needed some kinda customer service help. Outraged the guy behind me yells something at him; cuts in front of me and pushes the whole mess off on the floor and slammed his boarding pass on the scanner and pushes ahead of us all and boards the plane. All the while agent and family are just dumbfounded.

The whole scene was absurd! I mean a bunch of grown ... men acting like toddlers over who got on the airplane first. I have never before in my life been embarrassed to be flying in F 😝


I canít find imagine what goes on in someoneís head to think they are entitled to act in such a way. Even if all this premier/elite nonsense really meant anything how did he know we werenít all GS?


I guess I am just venting but it was disgusting. I am going to be the most humble low maintenance Platinum Elite at Marriott tonight they have ever seen!

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Old Oct 2, 18, 3:46 pm
  #858  
 
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I officially became a 1K today. I canít wait to get to the airport tomorrow and be able to sneer in a judging way at the lower 95%!!

I had a polo shirt embroidered with DYKWIA for when I travel. Let me know if you see me, well only if you are 1K or better.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 1:27 am
  #859  
 
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Hereís one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I canít tell a pilot from a flight attendant so Iíll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:

ďIn uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:

Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?

He spins around and walks out.

What century are we in, again?

FAB







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Old Oct 3, 18, 1:34 am
  #860  
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post
Hereís one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I canít tell a pilot from a flight attendant so Iíll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:

ďIn uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:

Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?

He spins around and walks out.

What century are we in, again?

FAB
I had to read that three times to figure it out. The word "she" finally made your point clear. Not a word I normally expect to change the entire point of the story.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 1:42 am
  #861  
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post
Hereís one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I canít tell a pilot from a flight attendant so Iíll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:

ďIn uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:

Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?

He spins around and walks out.

What century are we in, again?

FAB



Just Wow. Some folks are a super extra special kind of DYKWIA. I hope they got nothing afterwards.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 2:09 am
  #862  
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post
Hereís one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I canít tell a pilot from a flight attendant so Iíll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:

ďIn uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:

Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?

He spins around and walks out.

What century are we in, again?

FAB







The sexist DYKWIA. A classic
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Old Oct 3, 18, 2:34 am
  #863  
 
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Originally Posted by canadiancow View Post
I had to read that three times to figure it out. The word "she" finally made your point clear. Not a word I normally expect to change the entire point of the story.
FA friend told me in certain situations they ask the male FA to make certain announcements so pax would think it's a pilot and not question the FAs.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 8:02 am
  #864  
 
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Originally Posted by HkCaGu View Post
FA friend told me in certain situations they ask the male FA to make certain announcements so pax would think it's a pilot and not question the FAs.
Earlier this year, I found myself on a very 'rough air' flight with a seat kitty-corner from the FA jump seats. The female first officer was very clear on 'everyone stay seated as we figure out if we're going to do a second landing attempt at our scheduled airport of divert' instructions from the cabin but as the delay went on, people started moving around in the cabin outside of FA shouting range. The FAs, seated as instructed, were getting really angry because they were sure passengers were blowing off cockpit instructions because of the first officer's female voice.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 10:29 am
  #865  
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Guy behind me in the ORD B6 lounge right now yelling into his cell phone at UA 1K line about how he is a "1K FLYING TO BANGKOK!" as he implores them to make some asinine change to their return flight. If I had a drink in me I would probably say "and clearly in coach, given that you're in this lounge".
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Last edited by LIH; Oct 3, 18 at 10:31 am Reason: typo
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Old Oct 3, 18, 10:41 am
  #866  
 
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Originally Posted by LIH View Post
Guy behind me in the ORD B6 lounge right now yelling into his cell phone at UA 1K line about how he is a "1K FLYING TO BANGKOK!" as he implores them to make some asinine change to their return flight. If I had a drink in me I would probably say "and clearly in coach, given that you're in this lounge".
...because yelling always makes the recipient more inclined to help you.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 2:32 pm
  #867  
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post
Hereís one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I canít tell a pilot from a flight attendant so Iíll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:

ďIn uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:

Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?

He spins around and walks out.

What century are we in, again?

FAB







smdh
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Old Oct 3, 18, 8:16 pm
  #868  
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A couple of side discussions have taken things a bit off topic

The seatbelt sign discussion has been moved to Seat belt sign is out of control at UA

The pre-boarding discussion has been moved to United's New Boarding Process (with Wiki) [starting 18 Sep 2018]

Let's return to examples of DYKWIA behavior

WineCountryUA
UA coModerator
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Last edited by WineCountryUA; Oct 3, 18 at 8:25 pm
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Old Oct 3, 18, 11:07 pm
  #869  
 
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Originally Posted by beachmouse View Post
The FAs, seated as instructed, were getting really angry because they were sure passengers were blowing off cockpit instructions because of the first officer's female voice.
Decades ago, when I worked for Boeing on the EICAS, an engineer told me that they tried a female voice for the cockpit warnings for the more differentiated pitch and level of urgency. But the mostly male pilots were tuning it out. My suggestion to use James Earl Jones's voice was unfortunately dismissed.
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Old Oct 3, 18, 11:27 pm
  #870  
 
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Originally Posted by porciuscato View Post
Decades ago, when I worked for Boeing on the EICAS, an engineer told me that they tried a female voice for the cockpit warnings for the more differentiated pitch and level of urgency. But the mostly male pilots were tuning it out. My suggestion to use James Earl Jones's voice was unfortunately dismissed.
Darth Vader will make you quickly realize the severity of the situation...
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