If I was in that situation I would've kept my window open even harder

I disagree and I’ve intervened to call the FA when I saw this very scenario happening and I was #1 on the upgrade list and #2 was sitting near me and also spoke up. If he didn’t want the F seat then it went to me, not random Miss Kettle. The FA rightfully agreed with us.

Now if he bought the seat vs clearing the upgrade it might be a different story

The fact that he was in the Polaris cabin makes it even that much more DYKWIA for me. His sole issue was that there was a "group" getting on before him considering the odds of a "tour" group of 25+ sitting in J (and therefore "taking" his overhead space) are infinitesimal.

On a EWR-LIM flight on a 757 (2x2 upfront). Get on plane and guy in my seat. All settled in with blanket unwrapped. I tell him I think he’s in wrong seat. Doesn’t say a word at first, then refuses to move. I call over FA who asks and he again refuses. Ground crew comes in and he won’t be budge. Pilot then comes over and he refuses again (says his leg hurts and needs aisle). Goes on for 20 minutes.

FA asks if I’ll take another aisle (no problem).

Amazing the guy actually got his way (and my seat).

I am surprised he was permitted to stay on the flight due to ignoring crew member instructions.

What reprehensible behaviour. I presume that the crew checked that this person at least had a boarding pass f:or the J cabin...

I would have refused to move to another seat. I have documented an incident on here where I made someone move from my assigned seat after finding out she was some 20 rows behind in a middle seat. She and her son (or daughter, can't recall now) tried to play dumb and pretended they didn't speak English. Both of them was assigned middle seats. Call me a jerk or whatever, but that was terrible parenting.

Did anyone confirm he was ticketed in J? Nice of you to yield, but he should have been put in his assigned seat and for you to have held your ground until that happened. A person doing something like this should be the one exception to the "Dr. Dao prohibition" on removing customers.

Yes - he was ticketed in J in a window seat. He was already in the seat so wasn’t about me moving, it was about getting him up.

Doors were about to close and wasn’t going to hold up the plane over it. They were not being aggressive with the passenger.

The silly thing is another guy ends up switching his aisle for a window (as he was willing to swap), they give me his aisle, and then they give him an ETC for “being so flexible.”

Meanwhile I was standing in galley for 30 min during boarding and had a seat change as well albeit to another aisle and got nothing. Pilots were nice and thanked me (got seated next to crew rest) but crew looked at me like I was the inconvenience.

No good deed goes unpunished they say ..... well, you were not punished, but it does not seem right that someone else got the ETC.

I would reach out to UA and share this, perhaps most importantly the crew's reaction that "you were the problem."

OMG I hate this -- and I know EXACTLY how you feel as I've been "victimized" so many times over my 40 years of flying.... I'll just offer an alternative perspective here -- the crews have limited options available to them -- the GA s supposed to handle this crap but they often don't -- making the crews the "bad guys"... The crews just want passenger peace and to operate the flight without drama -- and that's why you were forced to do what you did.... Is it right -- nope -- is it the real world - yep...

If you want more proof just look at todays vilification of a UEX FA who probably just asked someone to clean up after their kid who dumped all this popcorn on the floor -- there is a reason FA's look for peace and avoid conflict -- most of the time they are literally put in a no win situation.... Does it make it right - no. Is it real - yes!

The impact of social media and the ability to demean just about anyone at any time with or without cause is something new -- I feel for the victims -- and also for the real cases... It's a brave new world we all have to adapt to -- hopefully with some sense of balance...

This somewhat makes my blood boil. I would have demanded a $1K e-cert to move.

it’s precisely because the FA’s don’t make people like this move that they move through life with a sense of entitlement. Bad behavior should be curtailed, not rewarded.

Agreed. I think I was not clear.

I'm saying if I was in 1B and some idiot poached my seat, I'm not willing to move unless he or the FA made it financially worth my while.

Once again -- this isn't on the FA -- this is the GA -- why we blame the FA is beyond me?