"yes, sir. we are still going to have an on-time departure to FRA"

...........this past Sunday at C18 ORD-FRA on a fully loaded 747. And this was told to me and another passenger at 6:01pm for a 6:25pm departure. With the 747 still at the hangar!!

I felt bad that a co-worker would actually make a comment like this.

Best I ever encountered was many years ago (probably early 80's). I was flying NW DTW-PHL on a flight that originated in MSP. Fog in the Twin Cities kept MSP closed, so I called my family (who were going to meet me at PHL), and told them to hold tight until I called back with an ETA in PHL. Many hours later the GA announced the flight had left MSP, and should be into DTW at x:yz, with departure at a:bc, so I called the folks. Dad answered and said Mom and sister had left for PHL a couple of hours earlier on the basis of a call to the reservation number, during which the agent said the flight already had left DTW (at a time when it was a couple of hours from even leaving MSP).

I JUST bought a tkt from Zua last week and flew JFK-LAX-PHX R/T so that's a load of crap they fed you. If you go on UA.COM and put JFK-PHX almost EVERY flight they list is a PS to LAX/SFO connecting to EXP to PHX and return

+1 ^^^ and I speak from experience cuz I fly more then anybody and spend more money with this and every other airline:D:D:D

'You'll see a number of changes in the months ahead, and I think you'll like them.'

That is thoughtful.

The FA did the same thing for some of the passengers on my YVR-ORD flight on May 3, when we were held on the tarmac for 2 hours before we could get a gate.

(January 4, 2010)
Continental Airlines CEO Jeff Smisek told employees Monday that he won't accept his annual salary or bonus until the company is profitable for a full year.

(April 26 , 2012)
United Continental Holdings, Inc. reported a first-quarter 2012 net loss of $286 million or $0.87 loss per share, excluding $162 million of net special charges consisting primarily of integration-related costs. Including special charges, UAL reported a first-quarter 2012 net loss of $448 million or $1.36 loss per share.

Smisek's compensation package now totals $13.4 million annually...

In PHX many years ago at a CO gate, a confused looking Captain and First Officer came running up to the gate then stood at the window looking at the plane. Then they walked back and looked at the gate monitor, then the paper work, and then the plane. Of course we were all looking at this point wondering what they are doing. Finally the Captian said that is not a 737. The First officer said, I can't believe they swapped aircraft out on us again, we are not rated to fly that aircraft! Several of us heard the exchange and looked at them with bewilderment. They stood there looking confused at the plane and paper work and talking.

This was perfectly true. You could have been trumped by an FFCC passenger showing up, or senior UA mgmt travelling positive space at the last minute. there are probably some other circumstances I can't remember.

Even ignoring that, I don't blame the gate agent for a rote response. 99.5% of the time they are asked that it will be someone other than a GS on a Y fare. Checking the fare class just takes time they probably don't have at that moment.

About a month ago after landing on an IAH-EWR on a 753.
Cap turns off the seatbelt sign, door doesn't open for a few minutes.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is the captain from the flight deck. Apparently the ground crew though this was a 737 and they didn't match the jetway with the door. Give us a few minutes to find someone who knows what they are doing"

Seatbelt sign back on

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"I see you have been upgraded on your return leg (JFK-SFO). I'm actually really surprised you got upgraded- wow! The cross country flights are hard and you're only a 1K. Lucky you!" Phone agents response to me trying to get reticketed.

"As you know, we switched to a more user friendly reservations system. United's was really old.." PMCO agent

My 'favorite' was when a ORD-LHR flight was delayed for about seven hours on a mechanical issue--first a couple hours on the tarmac and then back inside at the gate. Finally, the GA announced that they hadn't been able to fix the plane but that they'd gotten a new plane for us instead. So we boarded again, and I reached into the seat pocket to do the puzzles, only to find the magazine with all the puzzles already done--by me!!

In the end, that flight got delayed and cancelled to, and we didn't leave for LHR for about twenty eight hours after scheduled departure.

Perfectly reasonable
http://i.imgur.com/Y0Mpj.jpg?1

Stop the thread. You're the clear winner

^^^

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Wanting to do the same puzzles one have just completed a few hours ago? Or who was the whopper? -;)

From a non-English speaker at the UA ICC: "Hello my name is Bob"

From the SIN departures display: "Now Boarding"

Everything on the ghastly Smisek video

From every single cabin-crew announcement to Y class: "Sit back, relax..."

"This will all be sorted out at the other end"

"Welcome to Dulles airport" (nowhere are customers less welcome)

Whatever the announcer said at SFO airport, or was it LAX or EWR, anyway no-one could understand a word of it as they seem to select announcers on the basis of their poor command of the English language.