Biggest Whopper you've heard from a UA Pilot, Flight Attendant, Gate or Ticket Agent?
#586
Suspended
Join Date: Aug 2017
Programs: Rapid Rewards, AAdvantage, SkyMiles
Posts: 2,931
Are you are referring to my experience from 10 years ago? If so, you have a good memory!
FA Tells Me "Get Rid of That" (my computer wallpaper)
FA Tells Me "Get Rid of That" (my computer wallpaper)
#587
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: FL 290 through FL390
Posts: 1,687
Not a whopper, just extremely poor wording. I don't want to hear any pilot say things about an airplane like "it'll be good for a few more landings." Save that kind of flippant remark for your 1993 Ford Tempo's tires. I knda want to hear that safety is at the top of everyone's priority stack. @:-)
FAB
#588
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: BOS<>NYC<>BKK
Programs: UA 4.3MM LT-GS; AA1MM; Amtrak SE; MAR LT TITAN; PC Plat; HIL DIA; HYA GLOB
Posts: 4,388
A few of my favs over the years:
- "I promise the number of good landings will equal the number of good take-offs today."
- "The next time your travel plans are up-in-the-air, I hope you'll think of us."
- (and from a LONG time ago) "We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing ours."
#590
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Denver, CO, USA
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Posts: 26,669
No worries. Tone of voice carries most of the message. Here at FT, we can only see the quotes as words. There are a million ways to include humor in the message without freaking out anyone.
#591
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PHL
Programs: AA EXP MM, HHonors Lifetime Diamond, Marriott Lifetime Ti, UA Silver
Posts: 5,035
Not a whopper, just extremely poor wording. I don't want to hear any pilot say things about an airplane like "it'll be good for a few more landings." Save that kind of flippant remark for your 1993 Ford Tempo's tires. I kinda want to hear that safety is at the top of everyone's priority stack. @:-)
#592
Join Date: Jan 2017
Programs: UA
Posts: 324
My favorite was when the FLL staff at UA following a cancelled flight (they said mx...it could have been anything) simply refused to announce that there were empty seats on a subsequent flight. We were told the flight was full by the Gate agent. Upon talking to the UA agent on the phone, I discovered there were 14 seats available on the next flight leaving FLL. After getting my seat on the flight, I walked back to the gate agent at the gate (who was sloooooowly processing hotel rooms and flights for the hundred cancelled pax) and asked him "why don't you make an announcement about the empty seats on the next flight, there are seats available. Some of these people can go home tonight". He decided to not do so. That subsequent flight took off with me on it, and a dozen empty seats. A dozen people that could have made it home. A dozen people that UA didn't have to put up in hotels. All because it appeared as though the gate agent didn't want to deal with sorting out who had the priority to get on the plane. To be clear after a large number of "15 minute more" delay announcements and "they're getting us a new plane" or "they're sending out a mechanic",and then the inevitable cancellation, the crowd was a bit rowdy. That FLL station was an absolute mess. No idea if its the same today. I don't fly UA on that route very much anymore.
#593
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CLE, DCA, and 30k feet
Programs: Honors LT Diamond; United 1K; Hertz PC
Posts: 4,153
"I'm not even going to venture a guess as to our arrival time until we're off the gate and the nose is pointing toward our destination... shouldn't be more than 10 or 15 minutes...."
About 30 minutes later
"Weelllllllllllll foliks. Let's face it. I'm a captain and I lie. We'll not so much lied but misstated some facts...anyway we're of the gate and in the system so ATC knows about us now buttttt we're still going to sit here for a while. Once we're airborne it should go pretty quick unless ATC decides tonight is a fine night for an aerial tour of Hershey, Pennsylvania"
Meanwhile while we were sitting on the gate there was a maintenance guy juggling (not literally) like 6 oxygen bottles and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was accomplishing -- he'd put one in a padded box, move the box open a different one, take that bottle out open put it in a different (but visually identical) box and repeat until just before the parking break was released.
#594
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wichita
Posts: 628
A UX flight from ORD-ICT being delayed due to "weather" when the real reason was the crews' late arrival from Calgary. I wrote a blog post about the "airline lie" here: Mike Smith Enterprises Blog: The Airline Lie
#595
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: FL 290 through FL390
Posts: 1,687
You're the type of pilot that makes it fun to fly...really wish there were more of you. On a hub-to-hub flight last week-ish we had some great ones:
"I'm not even going to venture a guess as to our arrival time until we're off the gate and the nose is pointing toward our destination... shouldn't be more than 10 or 15 minutes...."
About 30 minutes later
"Weelllllllllllll foliks. Let's face it. I'm a captain and I lie. We'll not so much lied but misstated some facts...anyway we're of the gate and in the system so ATC knows about us now buttttt we're still going to sit here for a while. Once we're airborne it should go pretty quick unless ATC decides tonight is a fine night for an aerial tour of Hershey, Pennsylvania"
Meanwhile while we were sitting on the gate there was a maintenance guy juggling (not literally) like 6 oxygen bottles and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was accomplishing -- he'd put one in a padded box, move the box open a different one, take that bottle out open put it in a different (but visually identical) box and repeat until just before the parking break was released.
"I'm not even going to venture a guess as to our arrival time until we're off the gate and the nose is pointing toward our destination... shouldn't be more than 10 or 15 minutes...."
About 30 minutes later
"Weelllllllllllll foliks. Let's face it. I'm a captain and I lie. We'll not so much lied but misstated some facts...anyway we're of the gate and in the system so ATC knows about us now buttttt we're still going to sit here for a while. Once we're airborne it should go pretty quick unless ATC decides tonight is a fine night for an aerial tour of Hershey, Pennsylvania"
Meanwhile while we were sitting on the gate there was a maintenance guy juggling (not literally) like 6 oxygen bottles and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was accomplishing -- he'd put one in a padded box, move the box open a different one, take that bottle out open put it in a different (but visually identical) box and repeat until just before the parking break was released.
FAB
#596
Suspended
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MSP
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#597
Join Date: Jan 2010
Programs: UA 1K
Posts: 362
On the phone with an agent the other day trying to get an RPU that didn't clear redeposited. She kept referring to it as a CRU. I said "You mean RPU, right?" She responded: "Well, it's really a CRU, but they're also called RPUs."
#598
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 21,361