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Biggest Whopper you've heard from a UA Pilot, Flight Attendant, Gate or Ticket Agent?

Biggest Whopper you've heard from a UA Pilot, Flight Attendant, Gate or Ticket Agent?

Old May 15, 12, 4:49 pm
  #76  
 
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Not at CLE for me yesterday. From C27 on boarding pass to C19 for departure. Couple weeks ago at ORD, during 40 minutes waiting for late arriving aircraft gate changed from B19 on boarding pass to B9 to B19 back to B9 from where we departed.
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Old May 15, 12, 5:18 pm
  #77  
 
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"... or check with the uniformed agent greeting our flight..."

I've lost track of the number of times - on UA and others - that I've heard the FA's describing the mystical uniformed agent who will be waiting patiently there at the end of the jetway to answer all questions.
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Old May 15, 12, 5:35 pm
  #78  
 
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Embraer service. Door still open and pilot has announce that the de-ice truck will be back by for us in about 45min. People take out mobile phones to call home about the delay and the FA says to one guy "Sir, you can't use your phone, it is dangerous. You are sitting right over the fuel tank" I coulda put out that fire from pissing myself laughing.
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Old May 15, 12, 6:55 pm
  #79  
 
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Originally Posted by mre5765 View Post
I've been impressed that under the new United, gate assignments for my connections have all stuck.
Really? My last JFK-SFO went from Gate 7 to 10 and back to 7 in a matter of 30 minutes. IAH went from Gate C19 to E20 in a matter of 30 minutes before departure all the while I was in immigration line (a total nightmare at IAH). Stupidly I didn't look at monitor after spending 1:15 in line and re-clearing security. Did get my first ride on the Caaaarrrrt.
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Old May 15, 12, 7:07 pm
  #80  
 
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Originally Posted by zoegksf View Post
Really? My last JFK-SFO went from Gate 7 to 10 and back to 7 in a matter of 30 minutes. IAH went from Gate C19 to E20 in a matter of 30 minutes before departure all the while I was in immigration line (a total nightmare at IAH). Stupidly I didn't look at monitor after spending 1:15 in line and re-clearing security. Did get my first ride on the Caaaarrrrt.
At least at JFK you could be sitting at gate 7 and not have to move if it gate swapped to 10, since you can see gate 10 from gate 7. Any other hub airport that could be a constant back and forth trek.
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Old May 15, 12, 7:14 pm
  #81  
 
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Originally Posted by weirdlyndon View Post
At least at JFK you could be sitting at gate 7 and not have to move if it gate swapped to 10, since you can see gate 10 from gate 7. Any other hub airport that could be a constant back and forth trek.
True, JFK is a piece of cake. I was in the lounge and the constant texts re: gate changes and time were driving me crazy
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Old May 15, 12, 11:38 pm
  #82  
 
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CLE Redeye From LAS - always there

Originally Posted by schneider4 View Post
I've lost track of the number of times - on UA and others - that I've heard the FA's describing the mystical uniformed agent who will be waiting patiently there at the end of the jetway to answer all questions.
I'd agree it's usually not the case, but I had to start flying pmCO when pmUA started taking away all of my redeye options from LAS. I'd guess it was about 15 for 15 that an agent was waiting to answer questions upon landing in CLE.
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Old May 16, 12, 1:21 am
  #83  
 
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Originally Posted by schneider4 View Post
I've lost track of the number of times - on UA and others - that I've heard the FA's describing the mystical uniformed agent who will be waiting patiently there at the end of the jetway to answer all questions.
+1. FAs promise this virtually every time a flight has arrived late, and I don't think I have ever seen an agent waiting to help in the gate area.
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Old May 16, 12, 7:38 am
  #84  
 
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Originally Posted by darthbimmer View Post
+1. FAs promise this virtually every time a flight has arrived late, and I don't think I have ever seen an agent waiting to help in the gate area.
Do you breeze right past the counter or podium? I would say 99% of the time an agent is standing there. An agent can't (isn't supposed to) open a jetway door and then disappear.
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Old May 16, 12, 9:42 am
  #85  
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Originally Posted by Hachiko View Post
Do you breeze right past the counter or podium? I would say 99% of the time an agent is standing there. An agent can't (isn't supposed to) open a jetway door and then disappear.
+1
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Old May 16, 12, 11:31 am
  #86  
 
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Upon taxiing to the runway in LGA on an LGA-DEN flight the plane stopped (as it often does during the 1 hour taxi) and the captain announced that their cell phone detection indicator showed that there were still 5 cell phones turned on and that they need to be turned off immediately. At the next stop he announced that there were still 3 cell phones turned on and that we could not take off until his detector indicated that all cell phones were off.
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Old May 16, 12, 12:10 pm
  #87  
 
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I'm with FlavorFave - let's start a thread of UA/CO passengers' biggest whoppers! Hopefully this ALL will be read and enjoyed as entertainment and nobody's feelings will be hurt.
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Old May 16, 12, 12:15 pm
  #88  
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Originally Posted by Hachiko View Post
Do you breeze right past the counter or podium? I would say 99% of the time an agent is standing there. An agent can't (isn't supposed to) open a jetway door and then disappear.
99.99% of the time there is no agent in the gate area when I leave the plane (and often I am the one who opens the door from the jetway to the gate area, and 90% of the time the magnet does not catch because the GA who operated the jetway, and is guarding the jetway door to the tarmac, didn't enter the proper code on the door that enables the magnet when the door is re-opened from inside the jetway. So I give up, and a few seconds later the siren goes off.).

With United, it has been the case for years that the counter is staffed only during pre-boarding (and in some stations like COS, rarely), and shortly before boarding the action moves to the podium. Arriving pax have nothing.

It is called cost cutting.
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Old May 16, 12, 12:36 pm
  #89  
 
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Originally Posted by TWATWA View Post
On a recent United flight from IAH to LAX the pilots thanked us for flying Continental. I said I must have flown the wrong airline to the crew when I left the plane, as I bought a ticket with UNITED.

well they had merged last time I checked...
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Old May 16, 12, 1:29 pm
  #90  
 
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Smile A few years back...

FA is doing the safety announcements and adds in the following ad-libs...
"For those people who have not been in a car in the last 30 years and seen a seat belt, here's how to put one on"
and (following the first part of the life vest verbiage)
"In case you thought ahead to bring a book as you were exiting the plane and jumping into the water, there is a light attached for you to read as it gets dark"
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