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Biggest Whopper you've heard from a UA Pilot, Flight Attendant, Gate or Ticket Agent?

Biggest Whopper you've heard from a UA Pilot, Flight Attendant, Gate or Ticket Agent?

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Old Jan 14, 18, 6:36 pm
  #586  
 
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Originally Posted by Brick View Post
Are you are referring to my experience from 10 years ago? If so, you have a good memory!

FA Tells Me "Get Rid of That" (my computer wallpaper)
Holy moly, that person was not right in the head and shouldn't be working a "safety" role like a flight attendant.
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Old Jan 14, 18, 9:50 pm
  #587  
 
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Originally Posted by DenverBrian View Post
Not a whopper, just extremely poor wording. I don't want to hear any pilot say things about an airplane like "it'll be good for a few more landings." Save that kind of flippant remark for your 1993 Ford Tempo's tires. I knda want to hear that safety is at the top of everyone's priority stack.
Safety is always at the top of the stack. Iím in the pointy end, and if itís not safe, Iím not going to fly it. But I kid around with my passengers on the PA sometimes and get a few compliments for it. If youíre a Denverite, youíve probably heard one or two.

FAB
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Old Jan 15, 18, 5:26 am
  #588  
 
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post


Safety is always at the top of the stack. Iím in the pointy end, and if itís not safe, Iím not going to fly it. But I kid around with my passengers on the PA sometimes and get a few compliments for it. If youíre a Denverite, youíve probably heard one or two.

FAB
Thank you FAB! Pilots are human beings too. I appreciate your personality coming through.
A few of my favs over the years:
  • "I promise the number of good landings will equal the number of good take-offs today."
  • "The next time your travel plans are up-in-the-air, I hope you'll think of us."
  • (and from a LONG time ago) "We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing ours."
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Old Jan 15, 18, 6:23 am
  #589  
 
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Wink

Originally Posted by wxguy View Post
  • (and from a LONG time ago) "We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing ours."
That was you! I was on that flight!
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Old Jan 15, 18, 10:16 am
  #590  
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post


Safety is always at the top of the stack. Iím in the pointy end, and if itís not safe, Iím not going to fly it. But I kid around with my passengers on the PA sometimes and get a few compliments for it. If youíre a Denverite, youíve probably heard one or two.

FAB
No worries. Tone of voice carries most of the message. Here at FT, we can only see the quotes as words. There are a million ways to include humor in the message without freaking out anyone.
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Old Jan 15, 18, 11:55 am
  #591  
 
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Originally Posted by DenverBrian View Post
Not a whopper, just extremely poor wording. I don't want to hear any pilot say things about an airplane like "it'll be good for a few more landings." Save that kind of flippant remark for your 1993 Ford Tempo's tires. I kinda want to hear that safety is at the top of everyone's priority stack.
I agree that it's a poor choice of wording when talking to the flying public. However, since the lifespan of commercial aircraft tires is measured in the low hundreds of landings, having "a few more landings" remaining is a fairly typical condition. Given that pilots encounter this condition frequently it's not entirely surprising that they would state things in that context without really thinking about how the public might interpret their statement.
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Old Jan 15, 18, 12:11 pm
  #592  
 
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My favorite was when the FLL staff at UA following a cancelled flight (they said mx...it could have been anything) simply refused to announce that there were empty seats on a subsequent flight. We were told the flight was full by the Gate agent. Upon talking to the UA agent on the phone, I discovered there were 14 seats available on the next flight leaving FLL. After getting my seat on the flight, I walked back to the gate agent at the gate (who was sloooooowly processing hotel rooms and flights for the hundred cancelled pax) and asked him "why don't you make an announcement about the empty seats on the next flight, there are seats available. Some of these people can go home tonight". He decided to not do so. That subsequent flight took off with me on it, and a dozen empty seats. A dozen people that could have made it home. A dozen people that UA didn't have to put up in hotels. All because it appeared as though the gate agent didn't want to deal with sorting out who had the priority to get on the plane. To be clear after a large number of "15 minute more" delay announcements and "they're getting us a new plane" or "they're sending out a mechanic",and then the inevitable cancellation, the crowd was a bit rowdy. That FLL station was an absolute mess. No idea if its the same today. I don't fly UA on that route very much anymore.
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Old Jan 15, 18, 4:30 pm
  #593  
 
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Originally Posted by freshairborne View Post


Safety is always at the top of the stack. Iím in the pointy end, and if itís not safe, Iím not going to fly it. But I kid around with my passengers on the PA sometimes and get a few compliments for it. If youíre a Denverite, youíve probably heard one or two.

FAB
You're the type of pilot that makes it fun to fly...really wish there were more of you. On a hub-to-hub flight last week-ish we had some great ones:

"I'm not even going to venture a guess as to our arrival time until we're off the gate and the nose is pointing toward our destination... shouldn't be more than 10 or 15 minutes...."

About 30 minutes later

"Weelllllllllllll foliks. Let's face it. I'm a captain and I lie. We'll not so much lied but misstated some facts...anyway we're of the gate and in the system so ATC knows about us now buttttt we're still going to sit here for a while. Once we're airborne it should go pretty quick unless ATC decides tonight is a fine night for an aerial tour of Hershey, Pennsylvania"

Meanwhile while we were sitting on the gate there was a maintenance guy juggling (not literally) like 6 oxygen bottles and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was accomplishing -- he'd put one in a padded box, move the box open a different one, take that bottle out open put it in a different (but visually identical) box and repeat until just before the parking break was released.
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Old Jan 15, 18, 4:55 pm
  #594  
 
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A UX flight from ORD-ICT being delayed due to "weather" when the real reason was the crews' late arrival from Calgary. I wrote a blog post about the "airline lie" here: Mike Smith Enterprises Blog: The Airline Lie
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Old Jan 15, 18, 9:58 pm
  #595  
 
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Originally Posted by lincolnjkc View Post
You're the type of pilot that makes it fun to fly...really wish there were more of you. On a hub-to-hub flight last week-ish we had some great ones:

"I'm not even going to venture a guess as to our arrival time until we're off the gate and the nose is pointing toward our destination... shouldn't be more than 10 or 15 minutes...."

About 30 minutes later

"Weelllllllllllll foliks. Let's face it. I'm a captain and I lie. We'll not so much lied but misstated some facts...anyway we're of the gate and in the system so ATC knows about us now buttttt we're still going to sit here for a while. Once we're airborne it should go pretty quick unless ATC decides tonight is a fine night for an aerial tour of Hershey, Pennsylvania"

Meanwhile while we were sitting on the gate there was a maintenance guy juggling (not literally) like 6 oxygen bottles and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was accomplishing -- he'd put one in a padded box, move the box open a different one, take that bottle out open put it in a different (but visually identical) box and repeat until just before the parking break was released.
Thanks for the kind words. I have been accused of saying what I think more than once, and also of thinking some ďdifferentĒ things, too. In about (approximately) 1 year, 2 months, and 2 days, there will be one less of me around these parts. Not that Iím counting, yíunderstand🍻🎸🎼

FAB
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Old Jan 15, 18, 10:40 pm
  #596  
 
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Originally Posted by Miles Ahead View Post
That was you! I was on that flight!
I was on a flight with same announcement, too!
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Old Feb 14, 18, 2:37 pm
  #597  
 
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On the phone with an agent the other day trying to get an RPU that didn't clear redeposited. She kept referring to it as a CRU. I said "You mean RPU, right?" She responded: "Well, it's really a CRU, but they're also called RPUs."
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Old Feb 14, 18, 2:42 pm
  #598  
 
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Originally Posted by alexperi View Post
On the phone with an agent the other day trying to get an RPU that didn't clear redeposited. She kept referring to it as a CRU. I said "You mean RPU, right?" She responded: "Well, it's really a CRU, but they're also called RPUs."
Confirmed Regionone Upgrade?
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Old Feb 14, 18, 2:46 pm
  #599  
 
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Originally Posted by jsloan View Post
Confirmed Regionone Upgrade?
I guess the reason they changed the name was because they never get confirmed these days...
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Old Oct 15, 18, 3:05 pm
  #600  
 
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Just boarded UA 950 IAD-BRU. FA announced that the Wi-Fi wasn’t working, but we would have Internet. Explain to me how that is going to happen.
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