FlyerTalk Forums

FlyerTalk Forums (
-   United Airlines | MileagePlus (
-   -   The Penalty Box (

monitor Apr 1, 11 7:19 pm

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145001)
Wife is watching "say yes to the dress". I'm saying no to the show.


What is it that they find so fascinating about that show?

snod08 Apr 1, 11 7:20 pm

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16144916)
Perhaps the new home for the Box is a good thing. There has been more activity here today than there has likely been in a month at the old one.

So true.

Have a good night everyone.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:21 pm


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:22 pm


Mackieman Apr 1, 11 7:22 pm

Originally Posted by zippypinhead (Post 16144752)
In reference to #5 which really should have had the honor of #2, I present the work poop:

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the survival guide for taking a dump at the office.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff but doesnít know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Donít stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra thirty feet or so to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a Frequent Flyer. People may become suspicious if they see you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: The fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you didnít hear it. No one likes an escapee. Itís uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually the side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, donít panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare them the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the Walk of Shame.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damned proud of it. The Out of the Closet Pooper can often be found entering the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always check to make sure the Out of the Closet Pooper is in the office before doing a Fly By.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This reduces the odds of someone entering the bathroom while pooping.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain seated in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you can avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a Watermelon or to scare off potential Turd Burglars.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is being used. If you hear an Astaire on a Fly By, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
Update: Do not use an Astaire at MSP airport unless you want company.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be very embarrassing. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See Camo Cough.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee or, even worse, a Jailbreak.

Good advice to be sure, but I think we've met our poop quota for a month. :eek:

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145001)
Wife is watching "say yes to the dress". I'm saying no to the show.

A sound plan.

monitor Apr 1, 11 7:22 pm

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145014)
How hard is it for a woman to pick a wedding dress? If it fits, what more would you want?

Obviously they want more. Maybe it's like your old Ford runs good and gets you where you need to go but you would not mind having a BMW instead.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:23 pm


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:25 pm


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:25 pm


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:26 pm


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:26 pm


snod08 Apr 1, 11 7:28 pm

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145037)
Should be a small milestone.


uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:28 pm


ande777emt Apr 1, 11 7:29 pm

Looks like there's a new member of teh PWP.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 7:30 pm


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:17 pm.

This site is owned, operated, and maintained by MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. Copyright @ MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks are the property of their respective owners.