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-   -   The Penalty Box (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/united-airlines-mileageplus/1200295-penalty-box.html)

ande777emt Apr 1, 11 6:04 pm


Originally Posted by rolov (Post 16143927)
Yes, I came across a nice exchange coupon that should get me started. Too bad I missed the deadline for challenge, they seem to have stopped them.

D'Oh!

Oh well, the dAArkside isn't so bad; at least you can redeem for CX F unlike SQ.

kingalien Apr 1, 11 6:08 pm

Greetings!!

snod08 Apr 1, 11 6:40 pm


Originally Posted by rolov (Post 16143838)
I will use the newest box to announce that since I have almost 100K eqms on UACO for this year, I will be going dAArk for my South America flugs :-:

Wow, that is indeed awesome.

1K and EXP. ^

zippypinhead Apr 1, 11 7:19 pm


Originally Posted by Mackieman (Post 16141388)
Here's the current version of Box buidelines (not to be confused with the actual guidelines laid out by FlyinHawaiian):

1. Ye shall read the box from teh beginning.
2. Ye shall drink only only beverages that are brewed, distilled, or otherwise obtained through a process of viticulture and oenology.
3. Ye shall have a flightmemory and/or openflight.
4. Ye shall post a link to said tome in your signature.
5. Poo.
6. Ye shall always take teh bump.
7. Ye shall always take the upgrade.
8. Ye shall not deploy DYKWIA.
9. Ye shall not flaunt your status.
10. Ye shall expend all good effort to acquire new dots and lines.
11. Ye shall expend all good effort to acquire new airports.
12. Ye shall expend all good effort to acquire new aircraft types.
13. Ye shall expend all good effort to maximize the number of segments on any given trip.
14. Thou shall remember BBQ Thursday, and keep it saucy.
15. Rule 14 shall not impede you from eating BBQ on any other days.
16. Ye shall expend all good effort to expand BBQ Thursday as far and wide as possible.
17. Tuesday shall be the day of the taco.
18. POTD need not be awarded everyday.
19. Ye shall not self-declare POTD.
20. Ye shall not like one's own posts.
21. Ye shall not like the Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys, Buckeyes, or Flyers.
22. Ye shall ignore these rules on an as needed basis.
23. Ye shall be the butt of a joke at any given time.
24. All posts containing facts shall be declared to be rumor.
25. No one is in charge of the box.
25a. No one shall claim to speak for the Box, to represent the Box or to plan events on the Box's behalf. Boxians are welcome to plan events; the Box does not.

In reference to #5 which really should have had the honor of #2, I present the work poop:

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the survival guide for taking a dump at the office.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff but doesnít know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Donít stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra thirty feet or so to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a Frequent Flyer. People may become suspicious if they see you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: The fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you didnít hear it. No one likes an escapee. Itís uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually the side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, donít panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare them the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the Walk of Shame.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damned proud of it. The Out of the Closet Pooper can often be found entering the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always check to make sure the Out of the Closet Pooper is in the office before doing a Fly By.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This reduces the odds of someone entering the bathroom while pooping.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain seated in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you can avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a Watermelon or to scare off potential Turd Burglars.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is being used. If you hear an Astaire on a Fly By, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
Update: Do not use an Astaire at MSP airport unless you want company.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be very embarrassing. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See Camo Cough.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee or, even worse, a Jailbreak.

paranoiatx Apr 1, 11 7:32 pm

Dare I finally step into the Box? I can see my productivity at work taking a nose-dive already. :D

One wonders if #1 applies only to the current Box incarnation or if a full history lesson is required...

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:02 pm

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jackal Apr 1, 11 8:05 pm


Originally Posted by zippypinhead (Post 16144752)
In reference to #5 which really should have had the honor of #2, I present the work poop:

Informative, educational posts are not allowed in The New New B:rolleyes:x. I learned something today. That is not acceptable.

Edited to add: upon further reflection, I actually didn't learn anything new. You just codified what every male (where I can speak authoritatively; I can't speak for the opposite sex) knows instinctively . Therefore, you are given a pass. :p

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:16 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:18 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:19 pm

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monitor Apr 1, 11 8:19 pm


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145001)
Wife is watching "say yes to the dress". I'm saying no to the show.

+1

What is it that they find so fascinating about that show?

snod08 Apr 1, 11 8:20 pm


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16144916)
Perhaps the new home for the Box is a good thing. There has been more activity here today than there has likely been in a month at the old one.

So true.

Have a good night everyone.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:21 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:22 pm

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Mackieman Apr 1, 11 8:22 pm


Originally Posted by zippypinhead (Post 16144752)
In reference to #5 which really should have had the honor of #2, I present the work poop:

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the survival guide for taking a dump at the office.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff but doesnít know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Donít stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra thirty feet or so to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back later. Be careful not to become a Frequent Flyer. People may become suspicious if they see you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: The fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you didnít hear it. No one likes an escapee. Itís uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually the side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, donít panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare them the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the Walk of Shame.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damned proud of it. The Out of the Closet Pooper can often be found entering the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always check to make sure the Out of the Closet Pooper is in the office before doing a Fly By.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This reduces the odds of someone entering the bathroom while pooping.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain seated in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you can avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a Watermelon or to scare off potential Turd Burglars.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is being used. If you hear an Astaire on a Fly By, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
Update: Do not use an Astaire at MSP airport unless you want company.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This can be very embarrassing. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See Camo Cough.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee or, even worse, a Jailbreak.

Good advice to be sure, but I think we've met our poop quota for a month. :eek:


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145001)
Wife is watching "say yes to the dress". I'm saying no to the show.

A sound plan.

monitor Apr 1, 11 8:22 pm


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145014)
How hard is it for a woman to pick a wedding dress? If it fits, what more would you want?

Obviously they want more. Maybe it's like your old Ford runs good and gets you where you need to go but you would not mind having a BMW instead.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:23 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:25 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:25 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:26 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:26 pm

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snod08 Apr 1, 11 8:28 pm


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145037)
Should be a small milestone.

^

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:28 pm

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ande777emt Apr 1, 11 8:29 pm

Looks like there's a new member of teh PWP.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:30 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:34 pm

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zippypinhead Apr 1, 11 8:40 pm


Originally Posted by Mackieman (Post 16145022)
Good advice to be sure, but I think we've met our poop quota for a month. :eek:

Just trying to keep up teh box traditional BMDROP*:D

*= Box Minimum Daily Requirement Of Poop
And remember kids, it's just a suggested minimum....:rolleyes:

ande777emt Apr 1, 11 8:46 pm


Originally Posted by zippypinhead (Post 16145125)
Just trying to keep up teh box traditional BMDROP*:D

*= Box Minimum Daily Requirement Of Poop
And remember kids, it's just a suggested minimum....:rolleyes:

Just like the consumption of moar.

uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:54 pm

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uncertaintraveler Apr 1, 11 8:59 pm

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tkey75 Apr 1, 11 9:23 pm

Hello new Box.

My first CO flight of the year is tomorrow. Once again, three cheers for $60 BOS-SAN fares! Despite my UA status, which CO cannot see for some reason, I forgave the upgrade, though it was my right to have one had I decided to press the issue. It's the first trip with my SO who has no hope of sitting in F with me, so it's 21A+B for us. I hope I have not committed FT heresy.

sbm12 Apr 1, 11 9:31 pm


Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145094)
What about 100? :D

If it doesn't, I'll probably only come back around when post 1000 is near.

:p

For a while we celebrated 000 milestones. Then the community grew such that only 0000 or larger milestones were celebrated. Status (25K, 50K, 75K) and other obscure large number references, depending on the dorkiness of those reaching for it (e.g. 32768, 65536, etc.) are also cool, in addition to the 0000 numbers.

Originally Posted by uncertaintraveler (Post 16145035)
It seems like people have a harder time picking a dress the greater their budget is.

It must be a hard life when your only goal is to waste money. I've found that travel is a much more sound use of that spend. :cool:

HeathrowGuy Apr 1, 11 9:45 pm

Hola, New Box! Certainly, this is a CHANGE I have been expecting for a long time. So, As The Globe Turns....

While I have no mang immediately in mind to take the plunge with, I am thinking that the United-Continental merger may be a good template to follow once I'm ready to get hitched. We'll keep the mang's surname, his possesions, and his stream of moolah, while keeping my logo (yes, I actually have one!) and me in charge of things generally. :D I even have the voicemail message I'll use immediately upon my engagement mapped out:

Hello, you have reached the voicemail of HeathrowGuy. HeathrowGuy and BudapestMang are in the initial phases of an engagement expected to last 9-12 months. It's business as usual for now, but you will gradually see changes as we work to create an amazing new family operating under the BudapestMang name. For the immediate future, please continue to contact me just as you always have, and be rest assured your HeathrowGuy CoolPoints status is secure. Leave a message at the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.



And yes, I have been drinking tonight.

sbm12 Apr 1, 11 9:47 pm


Originally Posted by HeathrowGuy (Post 16145365)
And yes, I have been drinking tonight.

Sadly, I'm not sure this actually explains the above. :eek:






:D

jackal Apr 1, 11 10:36 pm


Originally Posted by sbm12 (Post 16145317)
:p

For a while we celebrated 000 milestones. Then the community grew such that only 0000 or larger milestones were celebrated.

Yes, but there's still something special about the first few low-number milestones. I'd celebrate 100, but not 21,100.


Originally Posted by sbm12 (Post 16145317)
Status (25K, 50K, 75K) and other obscure large number references, depending on the dorkiness of those reaching for it (e.g. 32768, 65536, etc.) are also cool, in addition to the 0000 numbers.

I'm fan of the palindrome mileposts. :p

HeathrowGuy Apr 2, 11 12:14 am

I've Been Drinking Tonight
 
Never mind...

snod08 Apr 2, 11 4:14 am

Good morning Box.

Up since 4AM:eek:...to watch Cricket World Cup final:D (India is playing Sri Lanka).

I think there may be a couple of B:rolleyes:xers who will want to know the result later....I will update for them.
All the rest of you who feel cricket is as boring as curling, please dont read:D

Well, 1 billion people or more are watching the game now around the world!

monitor Apr 2, 11 4:46 am

Is there a way that we can keep track of it (or watch it) on the web?

ETA: I found a running summary at http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cric...ch/433606.html

snod08 Apr 2, 11 4:57 am


Originally Posted by monitor (Post 16146314)
Is there a way that we can keep track of it (or watch it) on the web?

ETA: I found a running summary at http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cric...ch/433606.html


BBC is pretty good as well:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/9443092.stm

snod08 Apr 2, 11 4:57 am

India is batting second. They usually do better when they are on first.
well, we shall see.


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