Out of the archive - transcon MR
 

I'm bored tonight, so here are a couple that have been
salvaged from the old computer that I hadn't sent before
(not sure of the dates - a year or so).

UA 171 BOS SFO 0625 1000 752 3D
Empower N Ch9 Y nuts little gold packets hot towels Y

Although F was packed 24/24, the load in Y was very light;
the gate agent said that she would make sure that anyone who
wanted a bank of three seats got it.

No sign of the weather we were expecting; we pushed off
right on time but found a bit of a traffic jam caused by
an HP plane that had apparently screwed up the ATC's plans
by stalling on the taxiway; we back taxied on runway 9
to avoid it and then youied to take off. I guess that set
us back 10 or so.

The purser was rather officious, giving an extended spiel
about security aboard, then bustling about importantly
checking for violations real or imagined. I remembered him:
I've been on several flights he's worked and once had a run
in with him sometime in the late '90s when I was kind of ill
on a previous flight, and he wouldn't let me use the the lav
before the seatbelt light went off, actually physically
blocking the way. Whatever. Luckily on that flight the
welcome ding happened moments later, otherwise there might
have been some unwelcome dung in seat 2D. Anyhow, he's been
fine since and seems to remember me in not a hostile way.
The rest of the F crew was pretty good: a somewhat cute
brunette in her 40s and a young and energetic black guy.

I was amused as the woman across the way kept her crackberry
on, her thumbs atwitch, for much of the flight. Nervous
flier? Not a frequent one, as she tried to deplane from 1L.

Breakfast was the famous cheese and asparagus omelet with a
sausage (and unadvertised rather generous slice of ham) or
the famous fruit plate with Special K and yogurt. I asked
for a croissant and a glass of red wine.

An unordered fruit appetizer came with the croissant; today,
sadly, the croissant was nasty and salty, the fruit sour and
hard.

The wine was Jindalee Shiraz 04, too sweet but not horrid,
and I asked for another glass. Surprisingly, they seem to
have gotten rid of the rest of that bottle, and the next
one was the Bushman's Gully Cabernet, which started off
on the wrong foot with a metallic nose, proceeded to a
weird pineapple taste (Cabernet?? surely not), and a dead
finish from which I managed to coax a bit of overripe fruit
with great use of imagination.

Channel 9 zinger of the day:

[ATC, male, deep voice] United xxx, contact tower on yyy.zz.

[female pilot with a rather attractive voice] yyy.zz, roger,
so long.

[ATC] I know. [dissolves into laughter]

We landed 5 early, so I had time for a quick e-mail at the
club. San Fran was in a lull after quite a bit of rain
(big puddles on the taxiways).

I would have considered giving a commendation to this crew,
only the one time I got up some wicked turbulence started,
and I never got to say anything to anyone.

UA 344 SFO PDX 1040 1223 733 1D
Empower N Ch9 Y nuts none hot towels N, of course

Rather perfunctory service, not bad, just not very
interested. The purser was on her PDA much of the flight.
As soon as we landed, the guy next to me pulled out his
crackberry and was mesmerized by it until time to leave. I
guess I'm not really living in the 21st century.

I couldn't get the vaunted flypdx wireless to work, so I
tried to stand by for the 3:35 - it was oversold; they put
me on the 5:55 instead. In the meantime I wandered all
through the airport trying for signal. Got one in the
Continental area, but the network booted me off anyhow.
Looked for food - nothing inside security looked at all
appetizing; so I just had a Wendy's burger, fries, and
Sprite combo. The Sprite was the best part. The burger was
stale, almost putrefied; the fries unaccountably bitter.

UA 5717 PDX SEA 1755 1847 EM2 2C

I tried to sit in 3C. I was unaware that there was an EM2
configuration without a row 1. Got the 2BC pair of seats to
myself, so I had ample opportunity to watch the utterly
gorgeous native/Hispanic FA do the service out of the galley
- she was a real dynamo. I'm afraid she might be kind of
difficult to deal with in the long run - spent lots of time
obsessively cleaning the plane when she wasn't occupied
with the cabin service. The catering: mint-chocolate-chip
cookies or cheese crackers; drinks - I had cranberry, which
tasted like canned sugar water, heavy on both can and sugar.

We landed a hair early; I took a tour of the airport and,
not finding anything to keep my attention, walked through
the rain to Sharp's Roaster, which is attached to the Coast
Hotel. Got there just as a pair of hotel guests argued with
the cashier about some kind of voucher that the hotel had
apparently given them but that was not being honored.

Being tired, thirsty, and grumpy, I ordered a "personal
pitcher," a 34-oz mug of Arrogant ....... ale, which was
moderately malty, well hopped, pretty decent and put me in
a better frame of mind.

A skillet of eggy, pretty decent although sweet cornbread
starts you off.

I ordered the roast sirloin with garlic mashed and buttered
seasonal vegetables. Sounds good, doesn't it, and the menu
description is even more florid. Well, the meat was decent,
what there was of it - about 6 oz of pretenderized shoulder
roast, done between rare as ordered and medium-rare as
suggested on the menu; the mashed were hideous; the veggies
were buttered steamed broccoli, okay, and red cabbage slaw
with a sweet soy-sesame dressing, rather like that that one
would expect from an airplane. In fact, the whole meal was
sort of what one would expect on the airplane, except the
meat was a lesser cut, and there was more food, not by much.

My waitress, Nicole, was attentive enough, but there was
something phony about the attention - I had the feeling she
was playing me for some sort of lonely old man; she treated
other tables differently. She laid it on thick trying for
the elusive dessert order: I actually did get the 60c tiny
sampler of "[something] cream," from Liberty Creamery, which
is effusively described on the bill folder aka dessert menu
as having more cream than any commercial ice cream - it was
okay and worth maybe half the 60c.

Oh, yes, you can get a cup of clam chowder, which the menu
describes as clams, cream, and butter, no potatoes, for $4
something, $3.25 with a dinner; so I'd sprung for that for
starters - it's heavy on the celery and the minced ham,
which provide the bulk of the flavor; there are a few clam
bits here and there; but on the whole it's like cream of
celery soup with ham and clams. Not too good.

I did leave a 20% tip, against my better judgment.

The place is fairly expensive for what you get. Next time
I'll maybe trek to Spencer's.

UA 262 SEA IAD 2340 0722 319 6F
Empower N Ch9 Y nuts little gold packets hot towels ?

After the quart of beer I felt kind of logy. Walked back to
the aiport through the rain, passed security in under one
minute, found a block of 4 seats uninterrupted by armrests,
and fell asleep, setting my watch for just before boarding
time. It must have beeped, but I was too dead to the world
for that, and I woke up a bit late, only when I heard what
sounded like my name being called in the distance. Shook off
the unconsciousness, which took a few minutes, by which time
my upgrade had gone the way of all flesh, and I was reduced
to sitting in the bulkhead, otherwise empty. Good choice,
though not my own. I sat kind of diagonally and slept
through most of the flight. From what little I recall, I had
a Courvoisier, paid for with a 1K coupon, and the service,
though not really friendly, was minimally acceptable.

UA 860 IAD BOS 0845 1013 752 3A Empower Y Ch9 Y no aliment
This flight was marked by good service and Biscoffs, which,
though not warmed nuts or breakfast, are welcome enough. My
seatmate was a quite fat young man, for whom I felt sorry
as he tried to squish himself to fit into his seatbelt sans
extender. I fiddled and diddled on the computer so as not to
waste the only Empower on the entire trip.