alanw

Well. Perusing the Trip Reports forum it occurs to me we have a veritable cornucopia of details about suites, flat beds, touchscreen IFE, and Chauffer-Driven Rides To The Airport Whereupon The Agents All Call You By Name And Carry Your Bags To The Plane™. This is all well and good. What’s not, though, is the fact that there are scores of FlyerTalkers who have yet to take their first domestic flight inside Europe and have no idea what they’re missing.

I’m here to help. I do this trip twice a week, and have been for the last five months. And now I have decided to share the Domestic-Business Details with my loyal fans. Those of you who slog around the US in your fancy 2x2 domestic F cabins without benefit of having experienced how things work on the other side of the pond can now consider yourselves informed. You’ll also get a fascinating tour of the Barcelona airport and a few other things courtesy of the ....ty camera in my Movistar TSM520 mobile phone.

First, a bit of background
Getting from Barcelona to Madrid isn’t too tough. Iberia operates 88 scheduled flights a day, SpanAir another 60-some, and Air Europa and Vueling have a fair share as well. For my purposes, the SpanAir “Pay for B, Fly in C™” never-ending promotion was a great deal, so I have been giving them all of my love, at least that which isn’t saved for furtive trans-Atlantics to Popeye’s.

Next time you book a ticket, look at the airfare, taxes, fees, and surcharges. Then think about this:

Precio detallado

Tarifa aérea: 310,00 EUR
Tasas aeropuerto: 11,44 EUR
Cargo por emisión: 11,00 EUR
Precio final: 332,44 EUR

Taxes are the same regardless of fare, and this is a B, the lowest that allows same-day changes. With this fare you get an automatic upgrade to Avant Class and all the spoils and glories that go with it.

Now, this isn’t a trip report in the usual “first I got up, and then I went to the airport, and then I checked in, and then I waited in line, and then I got on a plane” vein. No, I think I'm tired of those. Instead, here in a handy format are the concise details. Think of it as an encyclopedia of domestic Spanish air travel for the next time you need it.



Barcelona is one of the easiest airports I’ve used anywhere. Parking is never full, it’s right across from the terminal connected by a skybridge, and as an elite you really never have to wait in line for anything.





Traveling with an e-ticket on SpanAir, you get to use Babs and Tammy, the Facturación Express twins. Fast, efficient service, and you can select your seat and have a boarding pass within seconds.




Checkin for domestic flights is 30 minutes beforehand. My traveling companion Alberto, who is new to all this business class/gold card stuff insists on getting there an hour ahead of time in order that we can bask in the warm bosom of the SpanAir Sala VIP lounge for half an hour before boarding. The LoungeDragons™ at the entrance to this lounge are actually quite friendly. Sometimes they make eye contact, and I am pleased to report that there is absolutely no biting, scratching, or kicking. Also no hair-pulling.

The Sala VIP is a nice enough domestic lounge, with some snacks and drinks and free booze. I have no idea what kind of “bubbly” they serve but you can bet on cheap cava. The snacks are pretty good. Peanuts, crackers, chips, olives, croissants, cookies, etc. In a cost-and-portion-control effort, they only give you tiny little plates to put the peanuts on. SpanAir Sala VIP Tip™: Use the beer glass. It holds half a liter of peanuts.





I attempted a bit of recon at the AF lounge next door, but the LoungeDragon™ quickly booted me before I could get any good pictures, like those above.



The LoungeDragons™ call each flight just as general boarding begins. This means you miss pre-boarding for C and elites, which resembles a rugby scrum anyway so you may as well just have another drink and wait until a few minutes before departure.





Most of the time, JK domestics use a jetbridge. Occasionally, they bring in the Charles De Gaulle Memorial Bus Brigade™ and haul you to the tarmac. On these flights, JK operates about 90% MD-82s, with an occasional A320 thrown in for variety.



The MD-82s are 3x2 seating through the entire plane with business (“Avant”) class demarcated by a sliding curtain. However many J passengers they have that day, that’s where they put the curtain. Everyone else is coach. Easy! In theory, the middle seat on the 3 side is blocked, though on full flights they will stick people there. It’s never happened to me though I see it about half the time. I wonder if they have a “fat man” flag in my PNR?



Once on board, the young and attractive (love those Catalan genes! No inappropriate touching!) FAs walk through the J cabin and offer moist towelettes and newspapers (take as many as you like). Not bad for a 50-minute flight.





After takeoff, the same young and attractive FAs bring by drinks and snack mix then follow up a few minutes later with some sandwiches and chocolates. Granted, they’re small, but still very good – a fresh croissant with manchego cheese, baguette with jamon or chorizo – and entirely unnecessary on a flight of less than an hour. Breakfast flights get OJ, yogurt, a croissant, and a ham and cheese sandwich plus a chocolate.




SpanAir has an On-Time Guarantee. If you are in business and your flight is more than 30 minutes late, you get a voucher for another free flight in business. Coachies get 25% off coupons. My flight is late about half the time. There is likely no truth to the rumor that the voucher flights also post as C to other *A accounts.





Flying in business class on European domestic flights is no big deal. You get the same ....ty seat. But in general, the experience on JK is better than say a domestic flight inside the US. You get food on short hops, everyone from the checkin staff to the LoungeDragons™ to the FAs with their cute little firm butts are friendly and professional.

There you have it. Next time you’re at a cocktail party and the subject of intra-Europe commuter flights comes up, you’ll have all the information you need to join right in.

ScottC

Kudos! You did an awesome job, I love the pictures!

tazi

Excellent trip report!

Babaduck

I have just weed myself laughing - definitely one of the funniest/sarkiest trip reports evah. ^ ^ ^

God I'll have to really work hard to beat that with my upcoming luxury trip report from Dublin to Bournemouth with the luxury carrier known at Ryanair!!!!

Kiwi Flyer

noice ^

aw

Great report! I'm tempted to give them a try in the future. Interesting to see that the signs at the airport are in Catalan first, followed by English and then Spanish. Too much resentment towards Franco?

alanw

Just about enough, I'd say.

It is the official language here.

19103_aa

The use of the beer glass to yield more peanuts was an inspiring addition; one I will use on my next lounge excursion. Muchisimas gracias tio!

AJLondon

Fab stuff Alan! ^ ^ ^

GibSpmuh

Agreed, a great report indeed! Look forward to further exciting adventures around Europe as well.

Gnopps

Your reports are always good Alan! as are the bistro boxes, I remember liking them when I flew MAD-AGP.

cblaisd

Nicely done!

jacob_m

Cool report, well done!! ^ ^

Prospero

^ ^
Delighted to find that the twice a week regime has not dulled your witts. Thanks, and I loved the cheeky captions

chad75

My two favorite things, snark and photo's, combined!