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ST. TROPEZ

BAGATELLE BEACH




NIKKI BEACH

OLD PORT

POOLSIDE @ BYBLOS


LES CAVES

ONE DAY IT RAINED! THIS RARELY HAPPENS, TSTORMS AND HAIL

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BACK AT BYBLOS

TOWN FROM THE CITADEL

RANDOM POOL PARTY


SUNSET OLD PORT

ALLEY

WALKING ALONG THE COAST


TRUFFLE PASTA @ LES PALMIERS

ANOTHER NICE SUNSET

STEAK FROMAGE FROM DELICES DES LICES (BEST DRUNK/HUNGOVER MEAL IN TOWN)


VIEW FROM RENTAL PLACE ROOF TERRACE

BREAKFAST AT SENEQUIER

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ST. TROPEZ CONT ASSORTED

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LAST ST. TROPEZ SERIES

GF not ready to be on FT

GetSetJetSet

Have to laugh at this point. If you read my St. Tropez post, you will see that during my gf's EWR-FRA-NCE debacle that ended up in MRS not NCE, LH had a worldwide IT system outage. Of course, we are now sitting at NCE waiting for our flight to LGW on BA and it's delayed because...you guessed it. BA is having a worldwide IT system outage and their ops are a mess. Can't make this stuff up! She is convinced it's her fault .

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Monte Carlo

I had really been looking forward to a relaxing two weeks in the South of France, as it's one of my favorite regions in the world. Of course, this is NOT how it played out. The paper thin walls in the hotel, the two days of hassle dealing with VRBO to lock in our lodging for the balance of the trip, then the flight cancellations and IT issues that nearly kept my GF from arriving...plus the general lack of sleep and permanent hangover that's associated with St. Tropez as the day is typically wake up--->beach club until 8pm--->Home to change--->Cocktails--->Dinner--->Cocktails--->Club until 5am, wash, rinse, repeat.

While I always hate to leave St. Tropez on some level, I am usually very ready to get out of there and relax. For our Sunday departure after a late night at Les Caves on Saturday, we had planned a day of rest we had dubbed "The day of the robes." My gf and I hoped to get an uber from a small street right near out rental directly to Monaco, where we would check in to our hotel, put on bathrobes and do nothing for the rest of the day, save for possibly ordering room service. Of course, this idealized version of a relaxing comfortable day was not realistic, the hassles continued.

First with uber. It was almost impossible to find an uber driver, even though earlier in the week there had been no problem finding rides to the beach. After about 20 minutes of trying, we found a guy 17 minutes away. When he pulled up, he told us we were lucky to find a driver, then asked where we were going. I told him Monte Carlo and his demeanor changed. He said "no, it's too far for me, I will take you, but not at the uber price." He went on to try to explain through 80 IQ logic why he shouldn't have to accept the trip he had already accepted, then demanded 500 euro to go to Monaco. The uber quote was in the 180-220euro range, so he wanted to extort us for the balance in cash. We told him to F*&% off. He stopped the car, refused to go any further and left us stranded. We called uber to report him. Piece of garbage thug.

Maybe 30 minutes later we finally found another uber driver. She was nice enough, but dumb as rocks and not a very good driver. Even with GPS she managed to get lost and drive in the wrong direction for 30-45 minutes before she realized what she was doing and turned it around. Wonderful.

We arrived quite late in the afternoon to Monaco and discovered what an absolute toilet the Fairmont Monte Carlo is. I will elaborate on that later in a post devoted to that terrible hotel.

Check-in took ages as the dim agent was unable to get our details right. The rooms, as I will detail in a future post, are awful and as a bonus there was a non-stop hammering sound present from 9am-9pm daily. Very relaxing!

We did our best to relax in the shabby and noisy room, and tried to use our $50 USD food and beverage credit on room service. With a burger priced at 43 euro and a club sandwich at 38 euros, it didn't go very far. I really, really don't like Monaco.

This is perhaps my 5th or 6th time visiting this terrible little country and I still cannot for the life of me see what people like about it. I think Monaco and Dubai are the kind of places that sound glamorous to people who haven't been there, but in reality they are just totally lousy. The hotels are overpriced and generally terrible (Monaco). I don't HATE The Hermitage but it's wildly overpriced. The Fairmont is an absolute disaster and I will never stay at Hotel de Paris again. Last time I was there, I had a driver coming to gather me for a flight in the AM. The hotel never gave me my wake-up call, refused to ring my room when the driver arrived and told them we had to go to make the flight and then added a 3,000+Euro dinner I never had to my bill. Luckily, I checked it on the way out the door and they took it off right away. I'm sure they were hoping I'd be in too much of a hurry and they'd slip it in. Crooks.

Beyond the hotel situation, the Casino is very mediocre on the inside and now they have hordes of fat proles in t-shirts and shorts everywhere, removing any last bit of decorum that might be associated with the place. The palace is trash, the Monte Carlo Beach Club is boring and even the F1 isn't an entertaining time to come, too many people and too many closed streets and passages. Watch it on TV or skip the race and come for the afterparty. I suppose Louis XV is good and the old town near the palace makes for a pleasant 15-20 minutes of strolling.

In case you haven't sussed it out by now, I REALLY don't care for Monaco, and I am personally offended that on top of being an awful place, it's unjustifiably expensive. 15 euro for a bottle of water from the hotel, comical.

After the day of "relaxation," we ticked off the tourist stuff as my gf had never properly been to Monaco before, just a quick stop at the casino the previous summer. Once we finished that, we popped up to the Fairmont's pool which has been taken over by Nikki Beach. This means, there's zero chance of having a relaxing afternoon, as the music is blaring and there are hordes of the tackiest Russians and Arabs imaginable everywhere. We lasted perhaps 30-45 minutes in the sun then went back to our room to make sure we got headaches from the non-stop banging coming from the construction.

Blissfully around 9pm it was time to leave the confines of the Fairmont. Some friends that were staying in San Remo were coming into Monaco for the evening to join us before continuing on to St. Tropez later in the week. We met up at the bar at the Hotel de Paris. While I outright refuse to stay in the hotel, I do like the American Bar (and Louis XV). The bartender made a mean cocktail, but three old fashioneds set me back 100euro, I suppose their bourbon is made out of gold and diamonds.

Once we were all assembled, we had dinner at Sass Cafe. While the food was terrible, the scene was good and the prices were surprisingly reasonable. It was well after midnight when dinner wrapped and the rest of the group had to head back to San Remo. 10+ years ago, I remembered that Jimmy'z used to be a good time, so my gf and I made our way to the sporting complex to check it out.

To say it was sad would be a huge understatement. There were less than five people there. I spoke to a bartender who had been working there for 10+ years and he said the place never really recovered from the '08/'09 Great Recession. Most people stopped coming then, and '16 knocked out even the Russians that were still patronizing the place. When asked where people go now, if not Jimmy'z, he replied "New York, Ibiza, Greece," I guess Monaco is truly DONE HERE. Good.

The bartender's final thoughts on Jimmy'z summed up Monaco for me, he said regarding the lack of clients "At some point people said 'you know, I have money but I am not paying 25euros for a beer' and they stopped coming." I hope people everywhere take that lesson to heart and give Monaco a miss. I can assure you I won't be back anytime soon, if ever!

offerendum

Sounds like the usual ripp-off. It confirms my opinion that you need a car for sure.

lamphs

I really wanted to see Monaco just because of the Bond movies. But I am a bit frugal and didn't want to actually stay in Monaco. I stayed at the Riviera Marriott Hotel La Porte de Monaco. I walked outside and across the street and I was in Monaco. I recall it being a very nice property and amenities as I was a Gold (today's Platinum) at the time.

GetSetJetSet

A car is great if you're going to be moving around a lot on the Riviera as transit options aren't great to many places. There are some decent links with bus and train, but frankly with the bags and the hangover we didn't want to deal with that hassle. Having a car all the time can be a negative also because 1. paying for parking adds up, and 2. in a place like St. Tropez where the beach is a 10-15 drive from town, people get very tempted to drive there then drive back drunk which gets dangerous.

GetSetJetSet

In the past, apparently people used to take a cab just out of Monaco and get uber from that Marriott, but Monaco leaned on uber and now you can't call a car unless you're several KMs back into France. Lousy!

offerendum

I´m not that afraid but understand your point. Of course it´s expensive to park your car but as I said I see no proper alternative. I only skip a rental car if I only stay in a city or in countries I don´t wonna drive (Asia. Arabia). I normally don´t use public transportation.....

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GetSetJetSet

MONACO








AMERICAN BAR @ HOTEL DE PARIS



SAD LOOKING MILANESE @ SASS CAFE


TOTALLY EMPTY AND PATHETIC JIMMY'Z (RIP)

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FAIRMONT MONTE CARLO

As is often the case, I was taken in by what seemed to be a good deal. The usual suspects in Monte Carlo were all going for $700+/night, and the Fairmont was only ~$400. While I had never actually been to the Fairmont before, I knew it was in a good location and the brand has a good reputation worldwide, how bad could it be, right?

Pretty bad. Everything about this hotel is 1980's vintage, except the service which is a fresh brand of disinterested incompetence that has really only become "acceptable" in recent years.

The physical plant is an extremely unappealing white building, that occupies a prized location along the F1 route. Frankly, I think this location is the only thing keeping this dump going. They must kill it selling their trash rooms for multiples of what they're worth during that time frame.

We had two separate one night bookings that had been stitched together by my TA, as I had initially only planned on a one night stay, then when I realized we were due to leave St. Tropez on Sun, not Mon, I added the second night.

We waited on line for ages, since the check in queue was akin to what you'd find at a convention hotel. The agent checking us in had a terrible time making sense of the reservation even though the TA had confirmed with higher ups at Accor and this property that we were all set. In the end we were "upgraded" to a sea view room.

Once we finally had our keys we walked past the worn carpets and torn wall paper to our room. The only way it could have been more 80's vintage would be if there was a tube TV.

Really though, the worst part of our stay was the non-stop banging from 9am-9pm every day. It sounded like someone smashing a hammer on the ceiling on the room almost non-stop for 12 hours/day. When we complained to the hotel we were told 1. There is no noise and we must be imagining it. Then they pivoted to 2. Yes there is a noise, but it's like that in every room in the hotel, nothing they can do. Finally they came around to 3. Ok, there is a noise, it's not like that in every room and we can move you. By the time we got to #3 it was 8pm the night before we were due to check out, and we had to meet people for drinks at 9pm. We declined their "generous" offer to repack all of our stuff and move it to another room for the less than 10 hours before check-out. When asked the more important question of why they put us in this room to start with if they knew about the problem and had other rooms available, we got nothing approaching an answer.

On top of the awful service, terrible rooms, dilapidated common areas and mania inducing constructions noises, the room service menu is laughably overpriced (43 euro for a burger, 15 euro for a bottle of water), the only pool at the hotel is occupied by Nikki Beach with all the blaring music and tacky people that entails, and the breakfast is shabby and many of the food stations were swarmed with wasps, while others had visible amount of hair in them. To their credit, the gym is decent. We didn't bother with the spa, or having a drink at the bar.

Amusingly, the manager offered to give us free breakfast to "cure" our construction related issues. Very nice of her to offer us something that was already included in our room rate. I forwarded these complaints to our TA and he has escalated to higher ups at Accor so hopefully they will come up with a suitable resolution that involves anything BUT credit at that property, because I can assure you that I will never return and I would urge you to do the same!

IF THE PHOTOS DON'T LOOK HORRIBLE, ASSUME IT'S BECAUSE I'M SUCH A WONDERFUL PHOTOG








ARE WE PRETENDING NIKKI BEACH IS A SECRET? WHOSE BEST FRIENDS ARE ALL THESE TACKY RUSSIANS AND ARABS!


POOL IN THE EARLY AM BEFORE IT GETS HORRIBLE

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NICE / LE NEGRESCO

Getting out of Monaco proved to be an expensive hassle. How delightfully out of character for the place . Uber does not function in the Principality. According to me internet digging, people used to get a cab to the border with France (a Marriott right there), then request uber and continue onwards. I guess the Prince leaned on Uber, and now you can't request until you're a few KM into France. I for one am SHOCKED that the descendant of a pirate that posed as a Friar to get his men into Monaco before revealing the true nature of their excursion and seizing the place would engage in such behavior!

Since there's no uber, the always helpful hotel told me the ONLY option was a Monaco Taxi, which would cost ~90euro for the 30 minute trip to Nice. Because I didn't want to give Monaco a centime more than I had to, I did a quick internet search and found a livery company that would do the trip for 78euros. Such a helpful and knowledgeable concierge at the Fairmont. Another benefit of staying at that pile of crap.

The car was on time, the ride to Nice was pleasant if not downright scenic, and soon we were pulling up in front of Le Negresco, which is a beautiful hotel, built in 1913. Now let me preface this by saying Le Negresco is FAR from flawless. There's no pool, the advertised "private beach," is actually an open to the public beach club across the street that is not part of the hotel and in fact does not even offer free sunbeds to hotel guests. You get a small discount. Wow, great! Beyond that, the rooms are fairly worn down and "quirky" or "eccentric" would be the best way to describe the decor.

However, the lobby is grand and beautiful, the bar is old timey and phenomenal, there's a 2-michelin starred restaurant onsite and most importantly, the staff all seemed to care and genuinely tried to make sure guests were having a pleasant stay.

As such, I was not upset that our room was not ready when we arrived, I rather expected that would be the case. While we were told we would have to wait until 3pm check-in, they also informed us we had been upgraded several categories to one of the few rooms in the hotel with a balcony. Apparently my Leaders Club preferences noted I prefer rooms with balconies (who knows) and they honored that request. Nice.

Since we had some time on our hands, we walked along the promenade towards the old town. I have been through Nice countless times, as NCE is the gateway to the Riviera, but I have never bothered to explore the city before. I have heard nothing but awful things about what a run down dump it is, and of course we all remember how the lives of so many Nicoise and visiting tourists were vibrantly enriched by the diversity truck incident not so long ago.

Bearing that in mind, I kept my head on a swivel as we walked towards the old town along the Promenade des Anglais. The old town itself was charming, all pinks, oranges and blues. Many little squares with cafes, churches and clocktowers. It was significantly nicer than I had expected. If you have an early morning flight out of Nice, I would highly recommend spending the afternoon prior wandering around the old town, and overnighting at Le Negresco.

After walking up and down all the streets of the old town, we stopped to grab ice cream from Fenocchio, as it was supposed to be "amazing." I suggested we institute a "no ice cream (gelato) unless we are in Italy" rule because it always ends up being a disappointment elsewhere, but my gf wanted to risk it. Despite the glowing reviews, we were both thoroughly unimpressed with the place and I think "only in Italy" is now the rule.

On the walk home, we found a lovely small patisserie and copped an absurdly overstuffed slice of tarte tropezienne for later. A fitting send off to the SoF for '19.

The room was finally ready when we got back a shade after 3pm and I will not lie...we were useless for the rest of the day. This "relaxing" jaunt to the South of France had been anything but, and with nothing left to do, it was quite nice to just sit around and exist until bed time. We watched sunset from the balcony, and I discovered I could see NCE from there, so I spent the rest of the fading daylight watching planes take off and land much to the surprise of no one.