I am a traveler, like my father before me. Around the world in F & J
May 13, 2019, 4:53 am
#93
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Dubai
Posts: 3,301
Wow
, looks like a very interesting stopover in Joburg, Madone59
! Great to have a local show you the places where a Umlungu would not be normally welcome.
I bet your Dad was jealous of missing out on all of this too, or maybe not
?
, looks like a very interesting stopover in Joburg, Madone59! Great to have a local show you the places where a Umlungu would not be normally welcome.I bet your Dad was jealous of missing out on all of this too, or maybe not
?
May 14, 2019, 7:47 am
#94
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 6km East of EPAYE
Programs: UA Silver, AA Platinum, AS & DL GM Marriott TE, Hilton Gold
Posts: 9,582
May 14, 2019, 1:29 pm
#95
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: PDX
Programs: Free agent!
Posts: 1,427
The pilot warned passengers of theft. Seriously! If you've heard announcements like this before please chime in, because my jaw was on the floor. He went on and on about protecting your luggage and valuables from in-flight theft which is "common on this route." As he wrapped up the warning he added that this crime was "not unique to South African Airways", but to this route..........which is only operated by two carriers of which SAA is one 
. A dull rigging came to my ears as I became awash in travel anxiety. After my years of travel anxiety is NOT a regular feeling so I knew what it was as soon as it hit. My mind was racing.
. A dull rigging came to my ears as I became awash in travel anxiety. After my years of travel anxiety is NOT a regular feeling so I knew what it was as soon as it hit. My mind was racing.How rampant is theft on planes flying in and out of Hong Kong?
It's Never Safe to Let Your Baggage Out of Sight
Jun 3, 2019, 10:12 am
#97
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 6km East of EPAYE
Programs: UA Silver, AA Platinum, AS & DL GM Marriott TE, Hilton Gold
Posts: 9,582
Jun 3, 2019, 5:50 pm
#100
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SFO
Programs: AA EXP, SPG / Marriott GLD, HHonors GLD
Posts: 520
This is awesome! Love the background and context.
I took my mom around the world in October for her 60th and blew her away. She had no idea we were flying CX F until the morning of the flight out of LAX. Singapore Suites back via FRA and JFK was spectacular as well. Really should take the time to write that one up.
I took my mom around the world in October for her 60th and blew her away. She had no idea we were flying CX F until the morning of the flight out of LAX. Singapore Suites back via FRA and JFK was spectacular as well. Really should take the time to write that one up.
Jun 6, 2019, 8:43 pm
#102
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 6km East of EPAYE
Programs: UA Silver, AA Platinum, AS & DL GM Marriott TE, Hilton Gold
Posts: 9,582
Next: Part 9 Are we there yet?!
All of my feelings of guilt had been washed away by a day exploring one of the most fascinating cities he had ever seen, also I was boarding my favorite aircraft - the A340-600. Yes, the seats weren't fully lay flat and my back would be in shambles when we arrived in New York but that was all part of the ambiance of this soon to be bankrupt lovable airline. I was about to add a mother of a lines to my flight memory map (JNB-JFK), and was at peace with leaving my father alone in Hong Kong a day earlier.
*scans boarding pass*
"Oh this was such a good idea" he thought, as he bounded down the jet bridge. I turned onto the plane and into the expansive business class cabin and immediately realized something was different, something that stood out. This plane was spotless, and I don't mean Lufthansa clean. I mean when your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, this plane was spotless. While getting settled in my seat I touched the carpet in the floor; it was new. The seats were far softer than my flight here, the walls were clean to the touch, there were no scuff marks on the wall.
*Deep surprised inhale*
Oh my god, this plane just came out of heavy maintenance!
*Opens Flight Radar 24, checks flight number, checks tail number*
Today was February 27th (I think), and this plane has been on the ground since January 6th.
*Deep surprised inhale*
Ahhhhh that nearly new plane smell!
If you're reading this thinking I added all of that about Flight Radar 24 and heavy maintenance after the fact, you have underestimated my nerdiness and are wrong. This all really happened!
After boarding on time, I was sending a few last text messages when the captain came on to announce one of the doors was having trouble closing, and there would be a short delay but we'd be on our way in no time. Apparently door 2R was not closing properly when the emergency slide was being engaged for departure. This was "OK, because they had a plan to simple seal the door, and make it inoperable" Inoperable!?!? "[...] which would not be a problem because in case of emergency this plane has lots of doors." Nearly an hour later we pushed back from the gate, but the excitement was short lived because the next announcement wasn't about today's route. Shortly announcing the delay, the pilot updated us on the solution to the problem.
"Ladies and gentleman we've fixed the door, and are ready to go but there is an issue with a fuel pump...........we will need to return to the gate."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Door. Fuel pump. Who did this damn heavy maintenance, squirrels?"
We returned to the gate and the below E-mail popped into my inbox. A two and a half hour delay from our scheduled 21:00ish departure which was already 30 minutes late.
I had a one way ticket from JFK-CLT booked on Delta but had left myself over eight hours room for error and it did not depart until 15:00 the following day. This delay moved the tentative arrival to just before 9am, so I had miles of breathing room. While we were waiting a party started to break out in the first two rows of business......ok it was just the first row and me. Two couples were sitting ahead of me, and you'd swear all four of these people were made in an Abercrombie and Fitch lab. This is to say they were all beautiful, so you're darn right I wanted in on the party. The FA's had no problem serving us, so I started to chat with these four friends about their long weekend shopping trip to NYC. Cartier jewelry, Audemars Piguet watches, long weekends in NYC from South Africa - must be nice. Material excess aside these were four of the nicest people you could hope to meet on a plane and we must have chatted longer than I remember because when I got back to my seat there was another e-mail.
Another hour
It was after 11pm and the drinking wasn't fun anymore, if you can believe it, (because we were still at the gate) so people were starting to turn in for sleep when the captain came on again....
"Ladies and gentleman we're unable to fix the fuel pump, but it's OK...........this is a back up pump, and we are able to neutralize it and be on our way."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Uhhhhhh do I want to fly on this plane?"
It was nearly midnight, and my connection in JFK was still going to work when we finally pushed back from the gate for the second time. We sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat then the captain came back on.
"Ladies and gentleman the tug is stuck. Airplanes require tugs to push them back from the gate. This type surrounds the front wheels of the plane, and the ramp crew can not release the plane."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Uhhhhhh do I want to fly this airline?"
We were assured that the runway and tower staff was going to remain open and on duty as I looked out my window and saw a flurry of maintenance trucks heading our way. There are all sorts of mechanical noises and efforts being made, apparently they tried to hand pump out the hydraulics but at 1:44am on February 28th the airport had close and the flight was canceled. Don't do the time conversion on my screen shot. Because I didn't load them into flickr in real time, they are all in EST after day light savings, just trust me I've got the time line right.
The tug stuck to our sparklingly clean A340 was not the least of our problems - the airport and customs offices were closed! Just before 2:00am the cabin crew turned on the lights, and fired up galleys to serve dinner. Dinner was going to be nice but I had to get to work, and mercifully @craigsnyc answered the phone (Thank you What'sapp!). As catering was distributed we discussed what UA.com was showing JNB-CLT for tomorrow errrr. today which was nothing, what expert flyer said was open which was very little, and what we knew a willing agent could make happen. He even took the time to call UA for me and see if they could get me out of this jam - they could not [yet
].
Oh look, dinner has arrived.
The steak was nice but dessert was unforgivably awful. By time Airport staff and customs arrived it was 3:15am, I had a page of notes, ideas and flights loads from scouring ExpertFlyer as well as UA.com. At 3:50am someone messaged me to ask how the trip home was going (assuming I was on WiFi) and I replied F-worded sideways. Because @DanielW was on the thread I will stop there because I don't want to get banned from FT, but lets just say it got angry and graphic real quick! My last message to my friends was 3:56am local time but at 7:03am I announced I had been rerouted, and here's how it happened.
I also tried working United on Twitter, but they thought I was going to Cleveland
Oh hell no!
I headed up the jet bridge armed with knowledge ready to get myself home by talking SA into opening up J space on the IAD flight tomorrow and just eating a hop on United down to Charlotte. An SAA agent, who definitely was just woken up and rolled out of bed met us at the gate. As she pointed traffic towards customs and told everyone to check their e-mail for the re-booking above.
"Excuse me, I need to be rebooked, I have a connection. Who can I speak to."
"Sir, go to customs, the flight has been delayed until tomorrow"
"Thank you, I see that. That schedule no longer works for me, I need to be rebo...." At that moment a short older bald man came running up to the agent.
"Excuse me, I must be rebooked, I have a connection, I am a doctor. I have patients!! Who can I speak to." he was exasperated.
"You and I both pal....well I am not a doctor but I'm in need of a rebooking"
"Gentleman, you must both go to customs, the flight has been delayed until tomorrow"
We begged to speak with anyone behind a computer and she finally gave in and radioed to someone who she said would meet us after customs at customer service once we collected our luggage. We started to walk as it dawned on us that we were behind an 340 full of people to get through customs. As we walked I introduced myself.
"So, you're a doctor. Where?"
"Yes. Dr. Charles [Xavier] at ___________, in Boston."
"I know someone at that hospital, do you know Dr. Dan?"
"Dr. Dan? Yes, he is one of my closest friends we run the ______ department together!"
"SERIOUSLY??? His wife is one of my closest friends, she was in my wedding."
As we continued to walk Dr. Charles told me he is South African and makes a trip or two every year to work in rural clinics. After clearing customs and collecting out bags we headed to customer service who fed us the same line about the flight being delay then told us what hotel to go to, that was the other shoe dropping. They aren't officially canceling this flight it's just a long delay, and until it's properly cancelled they will not help us out. Unsatisfied with this answer we headed to the upstairs check-in customer service area to see if anyone was there; nope. It was almost 4am, and they didn't open until 5am and the phone lines didn't open until 7.
United told me to talk to SAA.....again
Dr. Charles and I arrived at the closed ticketing counters and I suggested we just take the shuttle the staff recommended and go to the hotel? From the hotel we could always call or E-mail to fix our problems. This did not go over well.
"Daniel" he said while putting his arm on my shoulder "Do you see out there" he pointed to the windows "Do you REALLY think we should go to a bus station in Johannesburg at 4am? No! We stay here until the ticket counter opens or until the sun comes up."
.
.
.
.
.
.
He had a good point. We waited.
.
.
.
.
.
Sitting on our luggage we was lamenting how he paid cash for his business class ticket and how he would insist he be taking care of because of how important paying customers are. At 5am a very exhausted looking agent rolled up the metal door and was greeted by us. I tried to step in front of Dr. Charles knowing he was running real hot and I could catch some bees with honey but I wasn't fast enough. His hands were on the counter and he was leaning over towards the agent before she got her computer on, and I just stood by. This went on for the better part of ten minutes before the agent told him.
"Sir, your flight was delayed. I am sorry, but it was not cancelled and you'll have to come back later. Also, sir. You used miles for this flight, we can not put you on another carrier."
As Dr. Charles went back into why he needed to get to Boston, and doubled down with the $4,000 he paid, furious his hefty spend was not recognized I slid his ticket off the counter and picked it up staring at it like Charlie Bucket.
*Deep surprised inhale*
"Ummm Dr. Charles" I tapped him on the shoulder. "Sir."
"What"
"Sir, I am sorry, you said your travel agent booked this ticket?"
"Yes I paid over $4,000 dollars!"
"Sir, I am sorry. This is a 014 tick..."
"So"
"Well sir, this is 014 ticket stock. See mine is 016 because it's from United. This is an Air Canada award ticket."
"What is what??? Who is Air Canada!"
"It's a mileage ticket."
"WHAT? Where is my money"....and that is the the story of how we figured out Dr. Charles travel agent was ripping him off by buying tickets with miles and not telling their clients. Whoooops. Back to me and my problems!
I tried catching bees with honey but there was no chance. The agent refused to touch a 016 ticket, just blankly refused to do anything. At 5:45 am I gave in, at the charges and called United airlines. The call took nearly 45 minutes and included SAA un-checking me in, United reissuing a ticket, canceling a ticket SAA removing me from the new flight and United finally issuing JNB-LOS-FRA-MUC-CLT. Frankly I don't know how they did it, and it was almost 7am before I finally left the airport for the hotel (Dr. Charles in tow) but this ticket broke at least three rules I can think of and proved a little honey and a lot of desperation can get anything done.
We shuffled out of the airport as the sun came up, and Dr. Charles was right. We started to get hassled the second we crossed the street for the hotel shuttle. People trying to "help" with our bags, people reaching for our bags, reaching for us, really trying any way they could to separate us from our possessions. I had been awake for about 26 hours, and frankly if it wasn't for Dr. Charles having my back I am not sure I would have been smart enough to stay in the airport until the sun was up. We grabbed the shuttle to Garden Court airport hotel. Sorry there are no pictures folks. I locked the door behind me, set an alarm for noon, and fell asleep on my face......with my clothes on.....on top of the sheets. About an hour later I made it out of my clothes and under the covers and slept till 11am. It was glorious!
I woke up and got my bearings as I made my way to the shower. Because I had to collect my checked bag I at least had some fresher clothes on hand, but my perfectly packed back pack and plan to use my final clean everything on the way home was shot. Things were getting grimy and I had yet to depart, again. On the bus back to the airport I ate my last cliff bar, which was supposed to be my morning JFK snack. Going through my twitter DM's and WhatsApp messages I still could not believe the route I got home. While checking my bag, and checking in for this insane day and a half trip home the travel anxiety came back hard. What the heck was I doing! What was I thinking? Why did I agree to Nigeria?? Yes you CAN transit without a visa but do I really want to rely on people knowing those rules and not hassling me in transit. Nigeria is well know for bribes and I had no cash. Should I get cash?? Naw... you can't lose what you don't have (Thanks Rounders!) I was just going to play this fast and loose I guess. As I made my way through customs and towards the lounge my stomach caved in. I had slept 4 or 5 hours in the last 36, and the sleep before that was awful airplane sleep leaving Hong Kong. The last thing I ate was steak at 3am, and before that sketchy chicken in Soweto. The closer I got to the lounge the sicker I felt and by time they scanned my boarding pass I was running, and was sick.
My inner monologue was at full speed. 1. You do not have food poisoning, if you did you would have been sick last night.....like Dr. Charles was. 2. You need to get something in your stomach 3. Cool off, if you look sick going through West Africa you'll get quarantined in Germany (that thought made it worse). I talked myself off the bathroom floor, and changed into my tomorrow shirt because I just sweat through todays and walked out to find food. Luckily there was plain rice - thank you god of bland food. I sipped on a coke and ate rice for as long as I could before heading down to the gate hoping to look better than I felt. As I approached the gate, which had a security partition I was feeling sick again. The pre-boarding passport check didn't help me cool down as I was questioned why I was going to Nigeria without a visa. My stack of boarding passes helped end the questioning but the security agents were obviously skeptical. I just kept talking to myself "You are not sick, this is just a lack of sleep and food. "You are not sick, it's legal to transit in Nigeria without a visa and you'll be ok." "You are not stupid....................well maybe you are." Talking to myself stopped the sweating and lowered my heart rate but by time I was on the plane I needed to make a visit to the private quarters........twice.
Ohh this doesn't feel good, but look the new SAA interior. Ooohhhh Pretty.
Bug spray
Feeling Meh'
On the way to runway I gave my former ride to New York the one finger solute. It would be delayed an additional hour and leave after 4pm,
Bye JNB!
Over Soweto
Lunch options
Feeling better as my stomach settled, I ordered the pasta which sat well, and was able to get some good sleep. By time I got up the sun was starting to go down, and we were less then an hour from landing. The lights of Lagos and it's vast suburbs were visible well before we landed, and by time we touched down both my stomach and my mind were in the right place. As we deplaned I had my ongoing boarding pass in my hand and I went to the first person I saw and said "Transit?" They pointed me to the top of the jet bridge, so I said to the next person "Transit??" and they pointed me to the left. As we stepped out into the terminal I asked again and was pointed to the left what looked like it was down stairs, and with the flow of traffic. I saw an old sign Transfers with an arrow to the right. I took a beat a looked around before asking again and being pointed to the left. I looked to the right and saw what appeared to be a transfer desk, but there were a lot of lights out and the signs were hard to read. Others passengers were flowing past me, and a gestured for me to go downstairs.....so I turned right. Walking at a fair clip I was surprised no one came after me, or flagged me down but about 30 yards later I was at the desk I had seen from the gate and it was in fact a transfer desk. I approached the desk to see stamps, papers, a walkie talkie and a sleeping customs/ airport agent.
*Looking around*
Really? This guys is asleep? There was no one behind me, or around me....so I just kept walking right into the international departures area. I walked to the end of a long terminal which was only marginally illuminated because of the number of burned out light bulbs. The moving walkway in the middle of the terminal was beyond out of commission with large holes in both the floor and the rubber walkway. Along the wall there ware signs for various airlines stored so I started looking for Lufthansa. Turkish, Emirates, Qatar, BA...Ahhh Lufthansa! If you're wondering about departure monitors or signs, no...none of that. I must have been going the right way and finally the terminal came to an end where I was met by a wall of windows and a nice dark corner where I was completely alone. While I was looking around I held up my boarding pass to an airline employee who walked in from a gate and said "Lufthansa?" "Yes" they replied "Here" pointing at the ground. OK, close enough for me. I took off my back pack and sat down in a chair with my back to the wall and my hat pulled down low. I sat in the dark waiting for my layover to end.
Waiting
Well THAT is something you don't see too often. An A340-500 that had an engine blow out several years ago (2015?), and was towed to a parking spot next to the terminal.
Gate E55
Also something you don't see often Air Peace 777!
At about T-minus one hour the boarding area filled out, and a few more lights came on as British Airways began boarding at the gate next to ours
As the boarding area seemed to reach maximum capacity several airport employees and security guards started yelling "Everyone up" "Everyone go" "Everyone out." The crowed mulled out of the boarding area and past two folding tables which had been set up. A mobile computer platform had been rolled in, and every passenger had their boarding pass scanned, luggage searched and body search.
After the security check no one sat back down and stated to cram near the door.
Lufthansa runs a tag on flight between Lagos and Equatorial Guinea so when the plane arrived it was ready to board and continue on to Frankfurt. As soon as you could see the aircraft the pressure to get to the boarding door swelled and I watched the crowd start to press against each other as I sat with my back against the wall.
An airport agent stepped in front of the crowd holding a rope across the door with a microphone in the other hand. After some mumbled announcement where all I understood was "Business [class]" and "Lufthansa" she then said "10 people at a time. The pushing and jockeying for position was matched by equal noise as the agent let the first 10 or so people down the jet bridge. I had started to make my way closer, and you could feel the heat. People were holding children in the air, others were yelling at the agent, some were just pushing others for sport. A rotund German man pushed me out of the way on his way to the front and I stopped him "Business? Me too" He broke his stride and begrudgingly let me proceed. Having just about enough of the Lagos boarding market as soon as the agent called for the next 10 I had my boarding pass in the air "Business Business" and start pushing. She reached towards me, and pushed a few people aside as I got caught up in the stream and boarded the plane.
Wasser? Bitte!
Leaving Lagos
As we made our way to the runway I snapped a few photos of the randomly parked aircraft.
We followed the British Airways flight to the runway and as we lined up I started thanking all the gods I could think of that my Nigeria stop went so smoothly. The BA 747 rejected take off, and I had a moment of worry that a problem had shut down the airport and we'd be stuck too but luck was turning my way because we lined right up and left fast.
*Breath sigh of relief*
As we rotated off the ground and into the air I sent a text to my wife and friends "Aloft X: LOS, FRA bound safely."
Menu
The set up
The chicken, was not bad
The continent of Africa behind me, I slept well basked in the welcoming arms of Europe's finest airline - good night.
Landing in Germany a little early gave me plenty of time for a shower.
No wait for the shower, thank god because I was willing to waive my shirt at people to get them to move
Breakfast
Clean and full of yummy Germany treats I put my bag in a storage locker and headed out for a walk around one of my favorite places and a true plane spotting mecca.
Queen
Change
Chirp Chirp
LOVE! (Drooling emoji)
Thai Tail
A seamless boarding process and another smooth Lufthansa flight to Munich....
Breakfast
Landing
The new new
A quick transit through MUC and another wonder through a wonderful clean airport I headed downstairs and changed terminals
Short stop in the lounge
As I have mentioned in the past I am always surprised how disorganized boarding in Munich is, and this flight was no different. Seriously it's closer to Lagos boarding than I think the Germans would be willing to admit.
Oh, yes!
I hadn't been back in my seat since the flight from JFK to NRT - this felt right.
Champagne? God, yes!
Today's menu
A380 kicking up some water on it's way out ahead of us
Before I knew it we were up and away and I was finally moving towards home for the first time in two days. Years ago when the Mrs and I were dating she lived in Charlotte and I always joked one day I was going to arrive on this flight
Set up
Shrimp
Dessert
After another nice long nap I was ready to get home and be out of the air. We landed right on time in Charlotte, and I beat JNB-JFK plus a reasonable connection home by 30 minutes. Seriously, Lagos for the win. Ya it was further, risky, kinda dumb but I made it home as fast as I possibly could, and that is what I promised I would do. When my bag came out onto the belt I will admit I was shocked. When I opened it and found everything where I left it I nearly fainted. It was in Johannesburg three times, and spent a few hours alone in Lagos. I really was amazed I hadn't been robbed; not even a little. As I headed through customs lady luck gave me a little nudge and I got sent to secondary screening - of course I did.
"Where were you coming from"
"South Africa"
"Where did you connect?"
"Germany"
"OK, have a good day"
"You too....you too."
What a crazy two days. I couldn't decide what was harder to get my head around and believe - the crazy United re-routing, or that Dr. Charles and I had the same friends. Oh, I got an E-mail from him the next day. He had made it home and his stomach was feeling better too. I really had put my miles where my mouth was, and will not be rushing to fly South African Airways again but what an awesome experience.
I hopped into my Uber, slunk back and closed my eyes happy to be done flying when the driver asked "Heading Home? Where are you coming from......"
I chuckled.
Next: Part 10: In Conclusion
*scans boarding pass*
"Oh this was such a good idea" he thought, as he bounded down the jet bridge. I turned onto the plane and into the expansive business class cabin and immediately realized something was different, something that stood out. This plane was spotless, and I don't mean Lufthansa clean. I mean when your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, this plane was spotless. While getting settled in my seat I touched the carpet in the floor; it was new. The seats were far softer than my flight here, the walls were clean to the touch, there were no scuff marks on the wall.
*Deep surprised inhale*
Oh my god, this plane just came out of heavy maintenance!
*Opens Flight Radar 24, checks flight number, checks tail number*
Today was February 27th (I think), and this plane has been on the ground since January 6th.
*Deep surprised inhale*
Ahhhhh that nearly new plane smell!
If you're reading this thinking I added all of that about Flight Radar 24 and heavy maintenance after the fact, you have underestimated my nerdiness and are wrong. This all really happened!
After boarding on time, I was sending a few last text messages when the captain came on to announce one of the doors was having trouble closing, and there would be a short delay but we'd be on our way in no time. Apparently door 2R was not closing properly when the emergency slide was being engaged for departure. This was "OK, because they had a plan to simple seal the door, and make it inoperable" Inoperable!?!? "[...] which would not be a problem because in case of emergency this plane has lots of doors." Nearly an hour later we pushed back from the gate, but the excitement was short lived because the next announcement wasn't about today's route. Shortly announcing the delay, the pilot updated us on the solution to the problem.
"Ladies and gentleman we've fixed the door, and are ready to go but there is an issue with a fuel pump...........we will need to return to the gate."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Door. Fuel pump. Who did this damn heavy maintenance, squirrels?"
We returned to the gate and the below E-mail popped into my inbox. A two and a half hour delay from our scheduled 21:00ish departure which was already 30 minutes late.
I had a one way ticket from JFK-CLT booked on Delta but had left myself over eight hours room for error and it did not depart until 15:00 the following day. This delay moved the tentative arrival to just before 9am, so I had miles of breathing room. While we were waiting a party started to break out in the first two rows of business......ok it was just the first row and me. Two couples were sitting ahead of me, and you'd swear all four of these people were made in an Abercrombie and Fitch lab. This is to say they were all beautiful, so you're darn right I wanted in on the party. The FA's had no problem serving us, so I started to chat with these four friends about their long weekend shopping trip to NYC. Cartier jewelry, Audemars Piguet watches, long weekends in NYC from South Africa - must be nice. Material excess aside these were four of the nicest people you could hope to meet on a plane and we must have chatted longer than I remember because when I got back to my seat there was another e-mail.
Another hour
It was after 11pm and the drinking wasn't fun anymore, if you can believe it, (because we were still at the gate) so people were starting to turn in for sleep when the captain came on again....
"Ladies and gentleman we're unable to fix the fuel pump, but it's OK...........this is a back up pump, and we are able to neutralize it and be on our way."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Uhhhhhh do I want to fly on this plane?"
It was nearly midnight, and my connection in JFK was still going to work when we finally pushed back from the gate for the second time. We sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat then the captain came back on.
"Ladies and gentleman the tug is stuck. Airplanes require tugs to push them back from the gate. This type surrounds the front wheels of the plane, and the ramp crew can not release the plane."
*Looks around the plane suspiciously*
"Uhhhhhh do I want to fly this airline?"
We were assured that the runway and tower staff was going to remain open and on duty as I looked out my window and saw a flurry of maintenance trucks heading our way. There are all sorts of mechanical noises and efforts being made, apparently they tried to hand pump out the hydraulics but at 1:44am on February 28th the airport had close and the flight was canceled. Don't do the time conversion on my screen shot. Because I didn't load them into flickr in real time, they are all in EST after day light savings, just trust me I've got the time line right.
The tug stuck to our sparklingly clean A340 was not the least of our problems - the airport and customs offices were closed! Just before 2:00am the cabin crew turned on the lights, and fired up galleys to serve dinner. Dinner was going to be nice but I had to get to work, and mercifully @craigsnyc answered the phone (Thank you What'sapp!). As catering was distributed we discussed what UA.com was showing JNB-CLT for tomorrow errrr. today which was nothing, what expert flyer said was open which was very little, and what we knew a willing agent could make happen. He even took the time to call UA for me and see if they could get me out of this jam - they could not [yet
].Oh look, dinner has arrived.
The steak was nice but dessert was unforgivably awful. By time Airport staff and customs arrived it was 3:15am, I had a page of notes, ideas and flights loads from scouring ExpertFlyer as well as UA.com. At 3:50am someone messaged me to ask how the trip home was going (assuming I was on WiFi) and I replied F-worded sideways. Because @DanielW was on the thread I will stop there because I don't want to get banned from FT, but lets just say it got angry and graphic real quick! My last message to my friends was 3:56am local time but at 7:03am I announced I had been rerouted, and here's how it happened.
I also tried working United on Twitter, but they thought I was going to Cleveland
Oh hell no!
I headed up the jet bridge armed with knowledge ready to get myself home by talking SA into opening up J space on the IAD flight tomorrow and just eating a hop on United down to Charlotte. An SAA agent, who definitely was just woken up and rolled out of bed met us at the gate. As she pointed traffic towards customs and told everyone to check their e-mail for the re-booking above.
"Excuse me, I need to be rebooked, I have a connection. Who can I speak to."
"Sir, go to customs, the flight has been delayed until tomorrow"
"Thank you, I see that. That schedule no longer works for me, I need to be rebo...." At that moment a short older bald man came running up to the agent.
"Excuse me, I must be rebooked, I have a connection, I am a doctor. I have patients!! Who can I speak to." he was exasperated.
"You and I both pal....well I am not a doctor but I'm in need of a rebooking"
"Gentleman, you must both go to customs, the flight has been delayed until tomorrow"
We begged to speak with anyone behind a computer and she finally gave in and radioed to someone who she said would meet us after customs at customer service once we collected our luggage. We started to walk as it dawned on us that we were behind an 340 full of people to get through customs. As we walked I introduced myself.
"So, you're a doctor. Where?"
"Yes. Dr. Charles [Xavier] at ___________, in Boston."
"I know someone at that hospital, do you know Dr. Dan?"
"Dr. Dan? Yes, he is one of my closest friends we run the ______ department together!"
"SERIOUSLY??? His wife is one of my closest friends, she was in my wedding."
As we continued to walk Dr. Charles told me he is South African and makes a trip or two every year to work in rural clinics. After clearing customs and collecting out bags we headed to customer service who fed us the same line about the flight being delay then told us what hotel to go to, that was the other shoe dropping. They aren't officially canceling this flight it's just a long delay, and until it's properly cancelled they will not help us out. Unsatisfied with this answer we headed to the upstairs check-in customer service area to see if anyone was there; nope. It was almost 4am, and they didn't open until 5am and the phone lines didn't open until 7.
United told me to talk to SAA.....again
Dr. Charles and I arrived at the closed ticketing counters and I suggested we just take the shuttle the staff recommended and go to the hotel? From the hotel we could always call or E-mail to fix our problems. This did not go over well.
"Daniel" he said while putting his arm on my shoulder "Do you see out there" he pointed to the windows "Do you REALLY think we should go to a bus station in Johannesburg at 4am? No! We stay here until the ticket counter opens or until the sun comes up."
.
.
.
.
.
.
He had a good point. We waited.
.
.
.
.
.
Sitting on our luggage we was lamenting how he paid cash for his business class ticket and how he would insist he be taking care of because of how important paying customers are. At 5am a very exhausted looking agent rolled up the metal door and was greeted by us. I tried to step in front of Dr. Charles knowing he was running real hot and I could catch some bees with honey but I wasn't fast enough. His hands were on the counter and he was leaning over towards the agent before she got her computer on, and I just stood by. This went on for the better part of ten minutes before the agent told him.
"Sir, your flight was delayed. I am sorry, but it was not cancelled and you'll have to come back later. Also, sir. You used miles for this flight, we can not put you on another carrier."
As Dr. Charles went back into why he needed to get to Boston, and doubled down with the $4,000 he paid, furious his hefty spend was not recognized I slid his ticket off the counter and picked it up staring at it like Charlie Bucket.
*Deep surprised inhale*
"Ummm Dr. Charles" I tapped him on the shoulder. "Sir."
"What"
"Sir, I am sorry, you said your travel agent booked this ticket?"
"Yes I paid over $4,000 dollars!"
"Sir, I am sorry. This is a 014 tick..."
"So"
"Well sir, this is 014 ticket stock. See mine is 016 because it's from United. This is an Air Canada award ticket."
"What is what??? Who is Air Canada!"
"It's a mileage ticket."
"WHAT? Where is my money"....and that is the the story of how we figured out Dr. Charles travel agent was ripping him off by buying tickets with miles and not telling their clients. Whoooops. Back to me and my problems!
I tried catching bees with honey but there was no chance. The agent refused to touch a 016 ticket, just blankly refused to do anything. At 5:45 am I gave in, at the charges and called United airlines. The call took nearly 45 minutes and included SAA un-checking me in, United reissuing a ticket, canceling a ticket SAA removing me from the new flight and United finally issuing JNB-LOS-FRA-MUC-CLT. Frankly I don't know how they did it, and it was almost 7am before I finally left the airport for the hotel (Dr. Charles in tow) but this ticket broke at least three rules I can think of and proved a little honey and a lot of desperation can get anything done.
We shuffled out of the airport as the sun came up, and Dr. Charles was right. We started to get hassled the second we crossed the street for the hotel shuttle. People trying to "help" with our bags, people reaching for our bags, reaching for us, really trying any way they could to separate us from our possessions. I had been awake for about 26 hours, and frankly if it wasn't for Dr. Charles having my back I am not sure I would have been smart enough to stay in the airport until the sun was up. We grabbed the shuttle to Garden Court airport hotel. Sorry there are no pictures folks. I locked the door behind me, set an alarm for noon, and fell asleep on my face......with my clothes on.....on top of the sheets. About an hour later I made it out of my clothes and under the covers and slept till 11am. It was glorious!
I woke up and got my bearings as I made my way to the shower. Because I had to collect my checked bag I at least had some fresher clothes on hand, but my perfectly packed back pack and plan to use my final clean everything on the way home was shot. Things were getting grimy and I had yet to depart, again. On the bus back to the airport I ate my last cliff bar, which was supposed to be my morning JFK snack. Going through my twitter DM's and WhatsApp messages I still could not believe the route I got home. While checking my bag, and checking in for this insane day and a half trip home the travel anxiety came back hard. What the heck was I doing! What was I thinking? Why did I agree to Nigeria?? Yes you CAN transit without a visa but do I really want to rely on people knowing those rules and not hassling me in transit. Nigeria is well know for bribes and I had no cash. Should I get cash?? Naw... you can't lose what you don't have (Thanks Rounders!) I was just going to play this fast and loose I guess. As I made my way through customs and towards the lounge my stomach caved in. I had slept 4 or 5 hours in the last 36, and the sleep before that was awful airplane sleep leaving Hong Kong. The last thing I ate was steak at 3am, and before that sketchy chicken in Soweto. The closer I got to the lounge the sicker I felt and by time they scanned my boarding pass I was running, and was sick.
My inner monologue was at full speed. 1. You do not have food poisoning, if you did you would have been sick last night.....like Dr. Charles was. 2. You need to get something in your stomach 3. Cool off, if you look sick going through West Africa you'll get quarantined in Germany (that thought made it worse). I talked myself off the bathroom floor, and changed into my tomorrow shirt because I just sweat through todays and walked out to find food. Luckily there was plain rice - thank you god of bland food. I sipped on a coke and ate rice for as long as I could before heading down to the gate hoping to look better than I felt. As I approached the gate, which had a security partition I was feeling sick again. The pre-boarding passport check didn't help me cool down as I was questioned why I was going to Nigeria without a visa. My stack of boarding passes helped end the questioning but the security agents were obviously skeptical. I just kept talking to myself "You are not sick, this is just a lack of sleep and food. "You are not sick, it's legal to transit in Nigeria without a visa and you'll be ok." "You are not stupid....................well maybe you are." Talking to myself stopped the sweating and lowered my heart rate but by time I was on the plane I needed to make a visit to the private quarters........twice.
Ohh this doesn't feel good, but look the new SAA interior. Ooohhhh Pretty.
Bug spray
Feeling Meh'
On the way to runway I gave my former ride to New York the one finger solute. It would be delayed an additional hour and leave after 4pm,
Bye JNB!
Over Soweto
Lunch options
Feeling better as my stomach settled, I ordered the pasta which sat well, and was able to get some good sleep. By time I got up the sun was starting to go down, and we were less then an hour from landing. The lights of Lagos and it's vast suburbs were visible well before we landed, and by time we touched down both my stomach and my mind were in the right place. As we deplaned I had my ongoing boarding pass in my hand and I went to the first person I saw and said "Transit?" They pointed me to the top of the jet bridge, so I said to the next person "Transit??" and they pointed me to the left. As we stepped out into the terminal I asked again and was pointed to the left what looked like it was down stairs, and with the flow of traffic. I saw an old sign Transfers with an arrow to the right. I took a beat a looked around before asking again and being pointed to the left. I looked to the right and saw what appeared to be a transfer desk, but there were a lot of lights out and the signs were hard to read. Others passengers were flowing past me, and a gestured for me to go downstairs.....so I turned right. Walking at a fair clip I was surprised no one came after me, or flagged me down but about 30 yards later I was at the desk I had seen from the gate and it was in fact a transfer desk. I approached the desk to see stamps, papers, a walkie talkie and a sleeping customs/ airport agent.
*Looking around*
Really? This guys is asleep? There was no one behind me, or around me....so I just kept walking right into the international departures area. I walked to the end of a long terminal which was only marginally illuminated because of the number of burned out light bulbs. The moving walkway in the middle of the terminal was beyond out of commission with large holes in both the floor and the rubber walkway. Along the wall there ware signs for various airlines stored so I started looking for Lufthansa. Turkish, Emirates, Qatar, BA...Ahhh Lufthansa! If you're wondering about departure monitors or signs, no...none of that. I must have been going the right way and finally the terminal came to an end where I was met by a wall of windows and a nice dark corner where I was completely alone. While I was looking around I held up my boarding pass to an airline employee who walked in from a gate and said "Lufthansa?" "Yes" they replied "Here" pointing at the ground. OK, close enough for me. I took off my back pack and sat down in a chair with my back to the wall and my hat pulled down low. I sat in the dark waiting for my layover to end.
Waiting
Well THAT is something you don't see too often. An A340-500 that had an engine blow out several years ago (2015?), and was towed to a parking spot next to the terminal.
Gate E55
Also something you don't see often Air Peace 777!
At about T-minus one hour the boarding area filled out, and a few more lights came on as British Airways began boarding at the gate next to ours
As the boarding area seemed to reach maximum capacity several airport employees and security guards started yelling "Everyone up" "Everyone go" "Everyone out." The crowed mulled out of the boarding area and past two folding tables which had been set up. A mobile computer platform had been rolled in, and every passenger had their boarding pass scanned, luggage searched and body search.
After the security check no one sat back down and stated to cram near the door.
Lufthansa runs a tag on flight between Lagos and Equatorial Guinea so when the plane arrived it was ready to board and continue on to Frankfurt. As soon as you could see the aircraft the pressure to get to the boarding door swelled and I watched the crowd start to press against each other as I sat with my back against the wall.
An airport agent stepped in front of the crowd holding a rope across the door with a microphone in the other hand. After some mumbled announcement where all I understood was "Business [class]" and "Lufthansa" she then said "10 people at a time. The pushing and jockeying for position was matched by equal noise as the agent let the first 10 or so people down the jet bridge. I had started to make my way closer, and you could feel the heat. People were holding children in the air, others were yelling at the agent, some were just pushing others for sport. A rotund German man pushed me out of the way on his way to the front and I stopped him "Business? Me too" He broke his stride and begrudgingly let me proceed. Having just about enough of the Lagos boarding market as soon as the agent called for the next 10 I had my boarding pass in the air "Business Business" and start pushing. She reached towards me, and pushed a few people aside as I got caught up in the stream and boarded the plane.
Wasser? Bitte!
Leaving Lagos
As we made our way to the runway I snapped a few photos of the randomly parked aircraft.
We followed the British Airways flight to the runway and as we lined up I started thanking all the gods I could think of that my Nigeria stop went so smoothly. The BA 747 rejected take off, and I had a moment of worry that a problem had shut down the airport and we'd be stuck too but luck was turning my way because we lined right up and left fast.
*Breath sigh of relief*
As we rotated off the ground and into the air I sent a text to my wife and friends "Aloft X: LOS, FRA bound safely."
Menu
The set up
The chicken, was not bad
The continent of Africa behind me, I slept well basked in the welcoming arms of Europe's finest airline - good night.
Landing in Germany a little early gave me plenty of time for a shower.
No wait for the shower, thank god because I was willing to waive my shirt at people to get them to move
Breakfast
Clean and full of yummy Germany treats I put my bag in a storage locker and headed out for a walk around one of my favorite places and a true plane spotting mecca.
Queen
Change
Chirp Chirp
LOVE! (Drooling emoji)
Thai Tail
A seamless boarding process and another smooth Lufthansa flight to Munich....
Breakfast
Landing
The new new
A quick transit through MUC and another wonder through a wonderful clean airport I headed downstairs and changed terminals
Short stop in the lounge
As I have mentioned in the past I am always surprised how disorganized boarding in Munich is, and this flight was no different. Seriously it's closer to Lagos boarding than I think the Germans would be willing to admit.
Oh, yes!
I hadn't been back in my seat since the flight from JFK to NRT - this felt right.
Champagne? God, yes!
Today's menu
A380 kicking up some water on it's way out ahead of us
Before I knew it we were up and away and I was finally moving towards home for the first time in two days. Years ago when the Mrs and I were dating she lived in Charlotte and I always joked one day I was going to arrive on this flight
Set up
Shrimp
Dessert
After another nice long nap I was ready to get home and be out of the air. We landed right on time in Charlotte, and I beat JNB-JFK plus a reasonable connection home by 30 minutes. Seriously, Lagos for the win. Ya it was further, risky, kinda dumb but I made it home as fast as I possibly could, and that is what I promised I would do. When my bag came out onto the belt I will admit I was shocked. When I opened it and found everything where I left it I nearly fainted. It was in Johannesburg three times, and spent a few hours alone in Lagos. I really was amazed I hadn't been robbed; not even a little. As I headed through customs lady luck gave me a little nudge and I got sent to secondary screening - of course I did.
"Where were you coming from"
"South Africa"
"Where did you connect?"
"Germany"
"OK, have a good day"
"You too....you too."
What a crazy two days. I couldn't decide what was harder to get my head around and believe - the crazy United re-routing, or that Dr. Charles and I had the same friends. Oh, I got an E-mail from him the next day. He had made it home and his stomach was feeling better too. I really had put my miles where my mouth was, and will not be rushing to fly South African Airways again but what an awesome experience.
I hopped into my Uber, slunk back and closed my eyes happy to be done flying when the driver asked "Heading Home? Where are you coming from......"
I chuckled.
Next: Part 10: In Conclusion
Last edited by Madone59; Oct 21, 2019 at 4:04 am Reason: tpyo
Jun 7, 2019, 3:50 am
#104
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Canada, USA, Europe
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Posts: 31,452
Wow, that was quite the trip home! The weak bowel/stomach feeling at an airport or in a plane is never fun, I felt for you.
I was a bit surprised at the adventurous southing via Lagos and Germany. Granted, LH C class is preferable to SA + domestic connection, but the potential for a huge snafu in LOS, or a missed connection would have been too great for me in exchange for 30 minutes earlier arrival. I'll bet you were glad to be home. Great TR!
I was a bit surprised at the adventurous southing via Lagos and Germany. Granted, LH C class is preferable to SA + domestic connection, but the potential for a huge snafu in LOS, or a missed connection would have been too great for me in exchange for 30 minutes earlier arrival. I'll bet you were glad to be home. Great TR!