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Eastbay1K May 22, 2017 2:27 pm

Trip of a Lifetime to Paradise
 
Some people wait a lifetime ... for a moment like this.

Yes, after approximately seventeen days of anticipation, the morning finally arrived. I was about to embark on a First Class trip to Paradise, and to commence the trip, I arrived at the Oakland International Airport. Adding to the excitement and anticipation was the fact that I could now access the Escape Lounge with my American Express Platinum Card.

As I entered the terminal, I noticed that the TSA Precheck line arrangement had changed, and that the Precheck line seemed quite long ... and so it was. This could only mean that there were many other travelers at least as important or exclusive as I, making this quite a special line. Nonetheless, the line moved fairly quickly, and I was off to the lounge.

As I entered the exclusive lounge, the friendly attendant advised me that the cook didn’t show up for work, and so the buffay would have limited options, all cold. As I knew a multi-course gormay delight awaited me inflight, I had a simple plate of lox, cream cheese and crackers, and washed it down with a coffee, and some Italian bubbles. I then had to join the unwashed masses so I could leave some of that coffee and bubbles at the airport, as this luxury lounge didn’t have a used coffee deposit room.

I then approached the gate ... the anticipation awaited ... the Alaska Airlines 737-900 was at the gate, and the gate agents were preparing for boarding. I had pre-selected Seat 1C, a bulkhead aisle. Adding to the cozy creature comforts of this airplane is that it was not reconfigured with the more spacious F pitch, adding to the womb-like warmth that the old AS F cabin provides. At my seat was a bottle of water. A short while later, a flight attendant brought coffee through the cabin. A short while later, no flight attendants ever brought the traditional pre-departure POG Mimosas. The simple fact is that the luxurious experience of AS F to Hawaii is that POG Mimosas usually flow pre-departure. While AS isn’t known for its pre-departure beverage service, this is not the case on Trips of a Lifetime to the Islands. What is extra special about these mimosas are that (1) POG “juice” is pretty gross , (2) AS F Bubbles are not very good and quite burp inducing, but (3) when you combine them, and drink them pre-departure, they are magically delicious. Alas, this was not to be, and I wondered if my expectations had been set too high.

A while after take off, the flight attendant, who I will simply refer to as Miss Uninspired, passed out wet menus. The cabin also received hand-held entertainment devices, and MU took drink and meal orders. I ordered the keesh. Now, even though this was a Trip of a Lifetime to Paradise, it wasn’t my first, nor my fiftieth, and so I was prepared for MU to serve a beverage, the pastry/fruit plate, and then when done, the main course. Oh, MU, I know the PDB POG Mimosa would have been a lot of effort, but I didn’t expect everything to show up at once. My tray arrived with Keesh, undressed mixed greens, a scone and a small fruit plate. No jam or butter, and nothing to put on the greens (except the small pepper packet). The keesh was rather tasteless, and as I looked at the other option (French Toast with Gloopysauce, eggmush, and sausage), I wasn’t upset with my choice of option. I did note that the other passengers in Row 1 had some jam for the scone. MU didn’t tend to see that I had none. And so, I silently sang “Jam Free, as free as a dry scone ...” as I thought of what Elsa the Lioness would do in such a circumstance.

About an hour out, MU brought some mixed nuts (I passed), offered beverages (I had a glass of Special Cellar Luxury Red Wine), and a snack basket, of which I partook. I also thought of all those who get jealous of that what happens in front of that special curtain, kind of like that I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter commercial. And now you know. And finally, we were at the Honolulu International Airport, where I didn’t walk down stairs when disembarking, and I was not greeted with a lei and a kiss. I should sue the Brady parents (and the producer) for the false expectation that one grows up with when watching the Bradys’ trip to Hawaii, but they are dead, and so I doubt the lawsuit would be fruitful.

I then called for my reserved Charleys Taxi, 5 minutes later my driver arrived, and we were off to Waikiki Beach in a Lincoln Town Car to the Hilton Garden Inn.

When one is of a certain era (the one when you expect that your HNL arrival will consist of walking down stairs and getting a kiss and a lei), the name Hilton evokes luxury. It was that hotel that you could only dream of staying in when you were with the family at Motel 5 or if on a splurge, a Holiday Inn or a Howard Johnsons. So, in addition to Alaska Airlines First Class, and a Lincoln Town Car, I was to stay at a property with Hilton in its name, one with a garden, no less. My room had a City View. If you pronounce City just like the Chinese Restaurant Owner on South Park, you’ll understand the view. The friendly hotel check-in agent even told me I was in an upgraded room, as I’m a Hilton Gold member. Also, when one is of a certain era, Gold used to be special - I don’t just mean Hilton Gold, I mean just any status Gold, period. When American Express added a gold card to its portfolio and you had one, you were all the hot schytte. Nevertheless, the room was fine, the AC worked well, and the included breakfast buffet was better than the lounge situation at the Hilton a few blocks Diamond Head from here.

I called it a night early as to enjoy more time in a room with Hilton in its name, and woke up before dawn’s crack. Fortunately, the dining room starts breakfast at 6:00 AM, and I heard the coffee calling from my Parking Lot View room. By 7:30, I was ready for a nice walk, and took one. On the return, I passed a hotel entrance with an Alaska welcome sign, and I wondered if this was a crew hotel. I further wondered if MU was having breakfast, and if I should go find her eating breakfast so I could see if she would be serving me on the return flight. I did not wonder this long, and returned to my room to cool off and pack my luggage, take a Costco Acid Reducer Tablet (can never be too prepared for the potential of a POG Mimosa PDB), and write this report.

First Class to Hawaii, an airport lounge, a Lincoln Town car and a Hilton property. Some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this.

bitburgr May 22, 2017 2:44 pm

You had me at "buffay"

CosmosHuman May 22, 2017 4:14 pm

I laughed so hard my protein shake almost went airborne.

wrp96 May 22, 2017 4:59 pm

Such an aspirational trip. I am so jealous.

JHIN May 22, 2017 9:20 pm

Paradise and no pics 🤔☹️👎

gaobest May 22, 2017 11:01 pm

I laughed about the wet menus.
I love this TR. I love TR in general. I still have to write mine from my HA return from OGG which had dry menus.

How long was your trip?? It almost sounds like you flew and stayed only 1 night.

gaobest May 22, 2017 11:01 pm


Originally Posted by JHIN (Post 28347193)
Paradise and no pics 🤔☹️👎

No pictures needed! It's Hawaii. We all love it and know how it looks :-)

MSPeconomist May 22, 2017 11:12 pm

Party in Paradise?

Amelorn May 23, 2017 4:10 am

Good God, a HGI AND a (likely worn) town car?! You're ball-er bro.

P.S. I live in HNL near Diamond Head. You....deserve a drink, if you have the time.

JohnRain May 23, 2017 4:48 am

I didn't know eightblack had a twin brother... :cool:

BostonRobin May 23, 2017 7:51 am


Originally Posted by JHIN (Post 28347193)
Paradise and no pics 🤔☹️👎

No camera on a rotary phone ::ducks::

Eastbay1K May 23, 2017 9:40 am


Originally Posted by JHIN (Post 28347193)
Paradise and no pics 🤔☹️👎

Pics? Use your imagination ;) My TRs are weak in the pic department, because as nice as the camera is in my new Pixel phone (only 1 week old), the inflight food will look substantially similar to the billion or two other posted food pics.


Originally Posted by gaobest (Post 28347423)
I laughed about the wet menus.
I love this TR. I love TR in general. I still have to write mine from my HA return from OGG which had dry menus.

How long was your trip?? It almost sounds like you flew and stayed only 1 night.

I woke up in my own bed this morning. Trip was 1 night.


Originally Posted by Amelorn (Post 28347997)
Good God, a HGI AND a (likely worn) town car?! You're ball-er bro.

P.S. I live in HNL near Diamond Head. You....deserve a drink, if you have the time.

I did not have the time, although I did deserve a drink. I had only one during the heart of the trip. I did have some lounge wine pre-departure, and my return crew did serve POG Mimosas on the ground.

injian May 23, 2017 1:21 pm

oh god this was amazing. i want to know more about these wet menus lol.

Amelorn May 23, 2017 6:00 pm


Originally Posted by Eastbay1K (Post 28349099)

I did not have the time, although I did deserve a drink. I had only one during the heart of the trip. I did have some lounge wine pre-departure, and my return crew did serve POG Mimosas on the ground.

Lounge wine? I could have offered a refreshing glass of vinegar.

gaobest May 23, 2017 8:38 pm

I still don't understand why you'd fly to Hawaii for only 1 night! It's Hawaii!

Btw was MU the FA on your return flight?


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