Gays & Lesbians while Flying.. Do's and Don'ts ...
 

This really isn't a trip report, but a collection (or I hope will be) of stories that have happened to gays/lesbians while flying, or events that others have seen while inflight. I'd like to keep this as clean as possible, but that may not happen (we can't control everything).

First off, what is proper etiquette for us "on the other side" of the sexual curve when we fly? I ask this because of this story:

I was dating a guy from Orlando while I was living in Las Vegas and I flew him back and forth quite a bit. To surprise him, I flew back to Florida with him on United. We flew together LAS-ORD on an A319 redeye, row 7, then split up. He went to MCO, I went to PBI. Anyway, during the flight, David and I aren't *that* obvious at first, but we snuggled. After the FAs dimmed the lights in the cabin, we held hands (on the arm rest) and he laid his head on my shoulder. I felt this was acceptable because I saw others (male/female couples) doing this. We did kiss a few times, but nothing too major or nothing above PG 13. No tongue was used.

Do the above behaviours seem OK for fellow travelers to see or experience?

I've seen lots of hand-holding and kissing from homosexual couples, and sometimes I've seen pure make-out sessions. I think that crosses the line when flying. I've also heard things that I wish I didn't... only to look towards the sounds and notice a blanket covering up 'the act'... sheesh.

Anyway, just wondering what the general consensus is of FlyerTalkers.... do we overstep our boundaries (as a social group) or are we pretty well behaved?? :P

This is a good point.

Yesterday I observed some behavior on a flight that I would see as inappropriate even if it were a man and a woman. On my way from Miami to LaGuardia, two men occupied the AB seat pair on the MD-80 in front of me. From the time they sat down to the time they got up at LGA, they did more than snuggle. They got into heavy kissing, ear licking, running hands over each other, etc. I don't think airplanes are make-out rooms for anybody, heterosexual, homosexual, or whatever. The two UMs seated across the aisle had quite a show for the three-hour flight. They just stared at the goings on for much of the time.

I don't think that anybody no matter what their sex should be engaged in such active "making out" in a public place like a full flight, much less in front of small children.

Disingenuously or not, you're asking two specific, and very different, questions:
[list=1][*]How much PDA (Public Display of Affection) is appropriate? Though you've couched this in the conext of sir travel, it really has nothing to do with flying: it applies just as much walking down the street, sitting on a park bench in the afternoon, or wherever.[*]Is there a difference in what's "permitted" for same-sex couples?
[/list=a]

#2, of course, is the lightening rod question. (And we will of course now have the obligatory anecdotal stories of who saw whom do what on which flights.)

Moderator, could this pls be moved to OMNI, where it belongs, ASAP?

JSeipel states it succinctly. I see no problem with PDAs as long as they're in good taste and appropriate for the context. Hand-holding, kissing, eye-gazing ... fine. But full-on make out, feel-up sessions cross that line of what should be reserved for more private venues.

BTW, this goes for straights, gays or whoever.

I am fortunate to live in a city where gay and lesbian couples can walk down the street holding hands and not be stared at _too_ much. Frankly, I applaud their guts and always smile as I cross their paths, just as my little sign of "way to go." In a world with so much hatred and evil, any display of genuine affection between happy couples is a sign to me that the entire world isn't barbaric.

wideman you may have a point about the appropriateness of the forum, although I still think it's travel-related and so may belong in TravelBuzz at very least. However, the original poster specifically asked for other GLBT posters to share their Trip Report experiences as GLBT travelers. I think that's a legit function of this forum.

[This message has been edited by essxjay (edited 01-26-2003).]

Totally agree. PBA (Public Displays of Affection) are find as long as it doesn't cross a line between simple expression of affection between partners to the almost X-rated behaviour.
It should not at all matter if the couple is heterosexual or homosexual, save the heavy petting zoo show for the bedroom. Airplanes are crowded enough places already for the additional "scenery" to be going on for all the passengers.
Overall, I think the standards for airplane behaviour should be absolutely the same regardless of sexual orientation (not to mention that ALL the social standards should be the same for all, regardless of sexual orientation, but thats not a topic specifically pertaining to FlyerTalk).

The Trip Reports forum is intended for Flyertalk contributors to share experiences from their travel for the benefit of other readers. Some of these experiences deal with First Class longhaul menus, others with mundane coach class flights and yet others with anecdotes about encounters with persons not comfortable with their actions during their travel.

As long as this thread deals primarily with the sharing of experiences, rather than becoming judgemental about what should or shouldn't have happened, it is perfectly on topic for this forum. If it begins to digress from that, then of course it may be more appropriate elsewhere.

Thanks,
Sean (B747-437B)

Moderator
Trip Reports

This may seem silly - but where is the OMNI forum? For the life of me, I cannot find it

Well in regards to my flight to ORD, it *DID* cause a stir. I was a bit tired when I posted this, and didn't include all the information.

We were seated in Economy Plus (benefit of my status) and there was a couple on the other side of the aisle who was not qualified to sit there. This couple kept shooting glances and making an issue of things. Eventually they spoke up when we started to get more comfy and shared a blanket (nothing going on) and the FAs were called over. The customer said he did not appreciate seeing that sort of action going on in the aircraft and if the FAs would reseat us. The FAs have seen our actions the entire flight and felt we were OK, even after stating that other people in the cabin were doing the same thing.

I did ask the customer if he was a Premier, in which he said "what is a Premier"... I then turned mega-B@#*#* and asked the purser since when were non qualified travelers allowed in Economy Plus.

The passengers were put in the last row of the plane for the remainder of the flight. There were also a few claps from passengers around us.

In regards to this thread, yes, it has 2 specific points, and I feel that we (GBLT travelers) could learn from other people's perceptions and experiences. I was reading a few things in the GBLT forum from a while back, and felt a follow up HERE is the appropriate thing to do.

-n

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's OK for hets, it should be OK for homos.

One of the grossest things I ever saw was a male/female couple--two SW flight attendants--curled up making out in the cocktail lounge of the Hyatt Regency Austin. The cocktail waitresses were revolted.

Everybody's going to have different limits, but hand-holding, "peck" kisses, and heads on the shoulder should certainly be OK for anybody.

Bwahahahaha! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif
That is so totally deserved !!!
How does it feel to go from being in 9D to 33E jerks!

Sorry you had to put up with them, but it looks like it all worked well in the end.

As long as this thread deals primarily with the sharing of experiences, rather than becoming judgemental about what should or shouldn't have happened, it is perfectly on topic for this forum. If it begins to digress from that, then of course it may be more appropriate elsewhere.

Thanks,
Sean (B747-437B)

Moderator
Trip Reports
*************************************

I completely agree with Sean's opinion above.

Being a gay man myself, I support the open and tasteful displays of affection that the gay community engage in.

Regardless of sexual orientation, it's all about unconditional love and the realizations that love or affection is inherently beautiful.

Of course, I too believe that there is a social ettiquette standard when in public places. As long as things remain "G" rated and not become distasteful, then wonderful...

We live in such a crazy world, that sometimes really scares me. And, I love seeing all people,again regardless of their sexual orientation holding hands, exchanging hugs, leaning on one's shoulder or a simple kiss...that is somple joy.

So, as I leave this post, I want to express one of my mantras that I believe holds true: "never postpone joy."

Much Aloha and Blessings all around.

------------------
Patrick A. Inouye

My partner and I travel together about to the tune of 75K a year, mostly in J or F. We are affectionate to each other, but never more than holding hands (especially during turbulence). Most of the FAs and CSDs get our relationship and are very polite to us.

Maybe its because we have been together a long time (12 years) or that flying is not that much fun for my taller half. I have never found flying that conducive to feeling frisky.

lala

Very interesting thread. As a straight (heterosexual) male, I would ask the following question.

Some people tend to tolerate more PDA by hetero-couples than by same sex couples. While some may see this as discriminatory, I have gay friends and can tell you for a fact that some of these friends understand and actually support this fact. Im wondering what the GBLT crowd on this board thinks about this.

Gaucho amigo, you would probably get better feedback on this issue from the GLBT forum on FT Travel. As mentioned before, this thread is primarily dealing with anecdotes about situations experienced by gay travelers.

Thanks
Sean (B747-437B)

Moderator
Trip Reports

[This message has been edited by B747-437B (edited 01-28-2003).]

Nate, I'm afraid I'm going to have to be judgmental: What the hell were you doing in coach??!!!

Other than that, I could care less what consenting adults do, as long as you weren't diving for tonsils.