A Toronto Reception
 

I solved the problem

Independent Taxi arrived 10 minutes early for our 8 a.m. call but we hit every red light on the way to LAX to make up for it. We arrived at Terminal 4 and the driver zoomed past the First Class checkin area as we yelled, “Whoa!” and stopped him halfway to the regular doorway. We gave him a generous tip and made our way to the American Airlines red carpet. Both the red and the blue (business class) carpets had about 20 people in line. There were seven agents handling just First Class but each transaction seemed to take 10 or 15 minutes. It took us 17 minutes to get to the front of the line and the agents were dropping like flies. By the time we got waited on there were only five left.

A pair of VIPOWs got us upgraded on the flight to Toronto and after a brief hassle about the way the Canadian government handled Hunnybear’s name change to Hunnylion we got our boarding passes and headed up the escalator to security. We were the last ones up the escalator before they roped it off for some TV show they were taping there.

Hunnybear had predicted Andrea and Mike would be on our flight and sure enough there they were, emerging from the economy security line just as we made it through the priority line. We game them warm belly hugs and proceeded through the checkpoint. Although I didn’t beep, the guard selected me for wanding privileges. “Do you mind if I wand you?” he asked. “Does it matter if I mind?” I asked, presenting my arms and legs for scanning. “Well of course it matters, sir,” he said. “We want all our passengers to be happy with the process.” I couldn’t argue with that so he went ahead and scanned me but didn’t find anything suspicious.

We schlepped our stuff to the gate and I got a $3.25 latte at Starbucks to celebrate my discovery of lactobacillus while Hunnybear chatted with Andrea and Mike. We boarded on time and Hunnybear and I hung our wedding clothes in the front closet, our coats in the rear closet, and our butts in seats 4A and B on the 737-800. We waved to Andrea and Mike and they passed into the nether-regions behind the curtain.

American didn’t consider Canada an international destination as far as lounge privileges but as far as catering was concerned they pulled out all the stops. Service began with a choice of newspapers—real newspapers, not the Investors Business Daily—and a tray of water, OJ, and champagne. I grabbed a USA Today and waters for each of us. Next the flight attendant passed out a beautiful eight-page menu adorned with a cover painting by a flight attendant who, our server said proudly, she knew personally.

The wine list was typical American: the cheapest wines they could serve without being embarrassed. The sparkling wine was Domaine St. Michelle N.V.; the white was Villa Mt. Eden Chardonnay 2000; and the red was Geyser Peak Cabernet Sauvignon 1999. The food service started with a warm mix of premium nuts including pistachios but not macadamias and no peanuts. Next was a tray of shrimp cocktail alongside a spinach salad with choice of dressing. The entrée choices were macadamia-crusted chicken, chilled lobster with crab claws, and penne pasta with optional roasted chicken. Having deliberately booked seats in the eastern end of the cabin, we both ordered lobster. Dessert was a cheese plate or sundae and before arrival, fresh-baked Otis Spunkmeyer® cookies.

The service began 45 minutes after we pushed back and was exactly as advertised. We got hot towels, blue linen tablecloths and attentive, smiling service throughout. The movie was Oscar-winning A Beautiful Mind, which we both enjoyed a second time with the Bose noise-canceling headsets we had brought with us as we ate our delicious meal with plastic utensils. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but I had to test out my lactobacillus so I had just one sundae with Kahlua poured over it. After the meal service the crew came around with personal half-liter bottles of Evian.

We passed on the yummy Otis Spunkmeyer® cookies and before we knew it it was time to prepare for landing, but not before a second wave of hot towels and a tray of hard candy mints garnished with a bubbling dry-ice cocktail. We landed a full half-hour early in Toronto due to tailwinds.

Immigration was crowded but efficient and we made it to baggage claim well before our bags started arriving. My priority-tagged Andiamo whale was the last one off the belt and we made it through customs without arousing suspicions. We crossed over to the parking garage and picked up the Avis rental. We had offered to give Andrea and Mike a ride to their hotel so we were glad when Avis upgraded us to a Buick LeSabre from our original AMC Gremlin. Two hours through rush-hour traffic, the hockey playoffs, and streets blocked off for a footrace and we were at the Sheraton Centre.

We found the Starwood Preferred Guest line and after a short wait got checked in by one of two dedicated clerks. We had to ask for an upgrade and received one to a Vegas-style Jacuzzi suite with a tiny closet. The hotel had high-speed Internet access for only $10 Canadian/day ($1.62 US) so I logged on and checked for important emails before going down to meet Craig6z and Jailer for dinner.

Hunnybear had a business dinner so I decided to take Craig6z and Jailer to the secret place. We hopped on the subway and had a fabulous meal with several lychee martinis. We hopped back on the subway for a nightcap at the Crown Pub and then called it a night. I went up to access the Internet at high speeds and Hunnybear returned from her business dinner, opting out of the postprandial ballet to which her companions adjourned.

We prepared to retire and to our horror discovered that our not-so-Heavenly bed was really two twin beds pushed together to form a faux King with a canyon in the middle. We got to sleep anyway, at least until the alarm clock went off in the middle of the night. Twice. I solved the problem by ripping it out of the wall and throwing it across the room.

Lion pause:[*]Did everyone but me know about lactobacillus? Even the Word spell checker, which doesn’t know my name even though I invented the program, knows lactobacillus.[*]Why does Toronto have so many shoe stores? They even have a shoe museum.[*]Those cow statues from back when it was trendy to have cow statue festivals are everywhere. We’ll never get rid of them.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

Thank goodness, the drought of Liontales is over! Another great report, QL!

Yes, thank God, the drought is over! You're the funniest **** trip report writer ever and my personal favorite!

You must oze funniness or something! :-)

You were on AA1586? This is possibly the most underrated flight in the schedule for F service. It's one of my favorites.

Great report! And yes, Toronto does have too many shoe stores and my wife has the proof in her closet. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by yyzflyer (edited 05-24-2002).]

They never stop there. Its new, and not well marked. Plus, not much activity out front. I don't even bother trying to tell them to stop there. I'll let them pull up to the "main" area, and then just walk back to the F/C area (either inside or along the sidewalk)

Seems the only people that stop there are the sedans and limos. Never cabs or shuttle buses.

Quietlion Thanks for the report, glad to see you writing trip reports again.

mpc1

after a brief hassle about the way the Canadian government handled Hunnybear’s name change to Hunnylion

I know that I am not the most informed person at FlyerTalk, but this jumped right out at me. Did I miss something that everybody else already knew? If major congratulations are in order, please accept mine, however belatedly.

Dewd, maybe the Canadians follow that old Doors song:

When you're down, and you've got the blues
go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes.

Or possibly Horselover Fat's advice:

If you're going out at dawn,
you'd better put your slippers on.

"for only $10 Canadian/day ($1.62 US)"

hehe ...

-David


[This message has been edited by LIH Prem (edited 05-25-2002).]

Ahh Master Quietlion you have finally returned to this your Temple, where we all praise you.

Rejoice, Rejoice....


http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif Stewart.

Torture will be useless FT'ers. I'll never tell!

Welcome back to this forum, Kew Ell. And congrats on the nuptials.

Seared rare

We had moved to the Windsor Arms, Toronto’s trendiest boutique hotel, for the night of the wedding reception. We had already had a legal ceremony in Vegas for immigration reasons but we wanted to have a big party in Hunnybear’s home town so we had double weddings. Our suite, included with the reception, was furnished in light oak and had exquisite beddings and a nice shower but no high-speed Internet. Bowls of fruit and bottled water in the corridors were a nice touch.

The morning after, we checked out and picked up my mother and Lipa at the Marriott Bloor. We drove to Mummybear and Papabear’s house for yummy brunch and then headed for the airport. We dropped my parents off at Terminal 2 for their Air Canada flight. We had ordered a wheelchair for my mom and they had a special checkin for her that was even better than First Class. Hunnybear and I went to Terminal 3 to return the Buick by way of a one-lane construction detour bordered by Jersey barriers that reminded us of a Hot Wheels racetrack. Hunnybear exchanged a handful of quarters for a Smarte Carte and we checked in at the red carpet with no line.

Customs and Immigration went smoothly and we returned the Smarte Carte for a dollar refund before heading for the Admiral’s Club to see if we deserved to get in. The angel there told us they were currently investigating whether Toronto-LA should be considered a transcon and therefore qualify for lounge access on C and F tickets. While they were investigating, she said, she’d be happy to make an exception and let us in. We thanked her and took a pair of seats by the window. Moments later she returned with two drink coupons in case we wanted anything stronger.

After a half-hour it was time to board so we thanked the angel again and headed for gate B-12. We hung back and sacrificed an unsuspecting Asian mother and daughter to the security gods and then boarded while the daughter was removing her shoes. We passed the mother halfway down the Jetway saying, “Where my daughter?”

We had booked seats 6A and B (out of 7) on this 737-800 for maximum meal choice since orders are taken east-to-west on American. Only half of the 20 seats in the front cabin were occupied. On United, two people wouldn’t have got seats.

There was no preflight drink service but we pushed back two minutes early and took off after only a nine-minute taxi. Service on this flight was almost identical to the flight out: the only difference was two entrees, filet mignon and seafood risotto instead of lobster and macadamia-encrusted chicken. We both ordered the filet. “On the rare side if possible,” I chuckled to the steward, “although I do realize we’re on an airplane.”

Service started less than a half-hour after pushback. Once again we got the hot mixed nuts with pistachios, double hot towels, and shrimp and spinach salad served together as an appetizer. Our filets came out cooked perfectly seared rare. The flight attendant, walking by and hearing my beef cry out in pain as blood dripped from a deep gash I had cut in it, made me take off my Bose headphones and asked if I wanted it more well done. “No,” I said. “No I don’t. Thank you.” Having already tested my lactobacillus on sundaes I joined Hunnybear in a small cheese plate for dessert.

The movie on this flight was The Shipping News, a watery return-to-your-roots story with Cate Blanchett in uglifying makeup and a terminal detour to the supernatural that could not be saved by Titanic-like instrumentals or a first-rate performance by QuietLion look-alike Kevin Spacey. The crew had decided to wait until the coach meal service was completely finished to start the movie so we had only audio entertainment for the first half of the flight.

By the time the movie was over we were almost to LA. Hunnybear and I passed once again on the yummy Otis Spunkmeyer® cookies and the hard candies but not the final hot towel. We landed 14 minutes early. Our bags, not priority tagged for some reason, came out first. We grabbed a cab back to Marina del Rey and gave the driver a very generous tip. In less than 24 hours we would leave for our hunnymoon.

Bottom Lion:[*]The Sheraton Centre Hotel was hosting a meeting of a group called the Association for Behavior Analysis. Craig6z looked in on them but couldn’t figure out what they were doing.[*]Actors Jeff Goldblum and Adam Arkin were staying with us at the tiny Windsor Arms. We had met Goldblum a few years ago and we remembered him but he didn’t remember us.[*]Flight attendants really ought to have bartender training, at least in First Class.

The end.

[This message has been edited by QuietLion (edited 05-27-2002).]

I wish they'd decide this soon. I'd route all my flights via LAX if this became the case.

Thoroughly enjoyed your excellent report!

Great report! I would be interested though to know what you thought about the Windsor Arms hotel.