2001: A Vegas Odyssey
 

Dawn of a new millennium

It was Catman’s birthday and the dawn of a new millennium so Hunnybear and I booked a first-class round-trip ticket on National Airlines to the entertainment capital of the world, sunny Las Vegas. Our taxi arrived ten minutes early but parked at the wrong building so we wheeled our whales up the driveway to where we knew he would be waiting and found him. Traffic was light to the airport and we made it to Terminal 6 in good time. There was no line to check in at National since they didn’t have very many customers, being bankrupt, and we were a bit early so we got our boarding passes for seats 1D and F and headed for the Red Carpet Club for coffee.

The Red Carpet Club was as busy as I had ever seen it, full of children and adults screaming and waiting. We found a couple filthy yellow chairs in the TV room and watched a cartoon parody of Titanic for a half-hour before heading back to gate 61. The inbound flight was just arriving so we had 20 minutes to wait before boarding. As usual we sat on the ground well past scheduled liftoff but in those leather seats with nice preflight drink service it was not a problem. Service was friendly but flaky as the stewardess forgot to serve me my warm breakfast breads. I asked about it after she finished serving the rest of the cabin and she said, “Did I forget to serve you?” Yes, unless I ate them quickly along with the napkin and tray.

We touched down 25 minutes late and then it took another 25 minutes for the luggage to arrive. Our driver, Abe, met us at baggage claim and schlepped the whales to the car when they finally arrived. We climbed into the golden MGM Grand limo and soon pulled up at the largest hotel in the world for the busiest weekend of the year.

Our host had tried to get us a penthouse suite but there were too many whales there so we ended up with a wonderful terrace suite, a two-level job a bit smaller than the penthouses but with the added attraction of an outdoor heated Jacuzzi. Our terrace faced northwest so we had a perfect view of the Strip for fireworks as well as general aesthetics. We went down to Wolfgang Puck’s Café to have lunch, a couple nice Cobb salads. It was a good people-watching restaurant with a view of the Fun Pit, the Mansion Casino for high rollers, and the sports book. I signed the bill, left a generous tip for our waiter Carl, and headed with Hunnybear to play a little video poker.

We played for a couple hours and ended ahead a little before we went down to the spa to work out. I read FlyerTalk on the Netpulse stair machine while Hunnybear ran on the treadmill. I had time for a little eucalyptus steam before I showered and went up to meet Chris the Lockergnome and his beautiful wife Gretchen. Despite a scheduled two-hour layover in Denver they missed their connection from Des Moines and had to stand by for the next flight. Fortunately they got on it and arrived only an hour late. That gave me time to try on my new tuxedo, which had been tailored for me by José, the crack tailor at Bernini’s. It fit so I went to meet Chris and Gretchen.

I found them in the elevator lobby toting several whales and escorted them up to their room, except I had not only the wrong floor but the wrong bank of elevators so we had to go back down to the lobby and up another set of elevators to their room. My host had got them a very nice spa suite with a pool view. We dumped the bags and headed straight to Mark Miller’s Grill Room where we had reservations for dinner. Hunnybear joined us and we ordered a bottle of the delicious Treana red wine and some spicy olives and grilled antelope. Chris was a connoisseur of steak so I suggested he get the Cowboy rib-eye, which he enjoyed. Gretchen had the pork chop, which looked yummy, and Hunnybear had delicious sea bass while I shifted back to the filet mignon. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but Gretchen wanted to try the crème brulee so Hunnybear and I split just one order of chocolate truffle cake with chocolate-chip ice cream. The check came to $243, taken care of by the casino in consideration of my loyal patronage, and Chris left a generous tip.

After dinner we had tickets to see Rita Rudner, the comedienne famous for being funny. She was indeed funny although an 85-minute monologue was a bit too homogeneous to hold my interest. I thought she should break it up by singing or magic tricks or something. We all had plenty of laughs though.

It was only 10:30 so we decided to see a few casinos. We walked over to New York, New York and then took the tram to Bally’s and Paris. We walked back from Paris amid the influx of drunken yahoos here for the big weekend and made it home before one. It was pretty late especially for the Iowans so we called it a night.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

<<Did I forget to serve you? Yes, unless I ate them quickly along with the napkin and tray.>>

sometimes a man can get real hungry

Being famous for being funny at least beats being famous for being famous. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

waiting for the music in my cell phone ear for two things, the last royal of 2000 and the first of 2001. I am confident that I will hear both. Happy New Year to you and hb.

Jacuzzi terrace

Despite the late night I didn’t sleep late but instead got up early to play some video poker. When Hunnybear came down she helped me play and hit her first hand-pay jackpot, a Straight Flush. I more than compensated for her good fortune, however, with a steady hoover. Soon we got a call from Catman and he came over to watch me play along with Chris and Gretchen. We went upstairs to do the Chris Pirillo Show live from Vegas with me as the special guest on Iowa’s clear-channel WHO 1040 AM station. Chris had a meeting after that so Hunnybear, Catman and I went to Wolfgang Puck’s Café and had some phenomenal calamari and spring rolls. The ever-generous Catman gave us both nice Chanukah presents.

The casino was crowded. Strains of “You’re in the money” blared from seemingly endless slot machines all paying out slightly less in jackpots than they took in. Every table in every pit was open. Catman wanted to earn some American Airlines miles so I took him to the highest-paying $1 video-poker machine, in the duck pond, and he had a ball playing Deuces Wild with me looking over his shoulder giving advice. Then Hunnybear and I played a little more in the high-limit room with an audience of Catman, Chris, and Gretchen, but a watched slot never Royals so we didn’t hit anything big.

Before dinner we went up to the suite and enjoyed the outdoor Jacuzzi on the terrace with the spectacular Strip view. From our room we could see the Eiffel Tower, New York City, and the Bellagio fountain show as well as a scary bungee ride they had set up by the Polo Tower just for New Year’s. I played with all the controls and discovered how to keep the jets running without inflating my bathing suit like an inner tube.

Dinner was at Brown Derby with the six of us. We started with a bottle of Veuve Cliquot to toast Catman’s birthday a day early. I had the escargot served in an edible foccacia dish. They were so good I had to share them with most of the table but we successfully got Chris to have his first bite of snail. Hunnybear and I split a famous Cobb salad. For the entrée Chris and I shared a Chateaubriand rare. The texture was superb and the temperature perfect but it could have been better seasoned, such as with the mustard-Worcestershire mixture they use at the Metropolitan Grill in Seattle. With dinner we had a bottle of the Far Niente Cabernet. It was good but not worth the $210 price tag. Brown Derby doesn’t have my favorites on the wine list, such as Oregon Pinot Noirs, and I’m still searching for a wine there.

As a rule I don’t eat dessert but they brought the dessert cart around so I cut the waiter off and explained to the rest what each dessert was. Since everyone else was trying one I got just one slice of the famous grapefruit cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, along with a doppio espresso. The check came to a little over $700 for the six of us. I signed it to my room in hopes of a comp and the guests generously split the tip.

Entertainment tonight was magician David Copperfield in MGM’s Hollywood Theatre. I don’t know why they spell it the Canadian way but Hunnybear was excited. Our seats were in the fifth row of tables so there must have been a lot of heavy hitters at the show in front of us. Copperfield is famous for his appearance/disappearance tricks but he seemed mainly to specialize in charming women. He did an amateurish interactive card trick with the audience and a few other unimpressive tricks but his signature routines were worth watching even though the show started a full 20 minutes late. He played for 90 minutes and by the time it was over we were all ready for bed to rest up for the big day.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

awaiting the report on NY eve at MGM in your new tuxedo. No call with music to end the year, so I will have to wait for a good start of the new year instead.

Explosive Millennium

Few events draw as much of a crowd as the annual celebration of the passing of the old year and ringing in of the new, and no place is better to celebrate the New Year than in the city of celebration, Las Vegas, Nevada. We had a big day planned so I got up early to play a little video poker. I was perfectly executing my strategy of avoiding any big taxable wins until midnight and indeed managed to get hoovered big time. Hunnybear soon arrived and brought excellent luck though and I won back a good portion of it before lunch.

Chris, Gretchen, and Catman arrived and we had lunch at Wolfgang Puck’s Café again. I tried the excellent rosemary chicken this time while Chris, who lives on steak and butter, had a passable rib-eye. As a rule I don’t eat dessert and the rest of us all passed as well, saving room for the big banquet tonight.

After lunch Hunnybear had a spa appointment so Catman, Gretchen and I took the monorail to meet up with Danny and Jacey at Paris. Danny was tearing up the blackjack tables and Jacey was next door at Bally’s playing Pai Gow Poker. We picked her up and headed across the street to Bellagio to show Gretchen the Chihuly ceiling piece and the conservatory. The fountain show wasn’t running yet so we walked back to MGM Grand and I played a little video poker while Gretchen got her hair done. This time my luck was outstanding and I won back almost all the morning’s losses.

It was time to dress for the big party so I went up and changed into my new tuxedo with my new lion cufflinks given to me by Catman. The rest of the gang met us, all dressed up, and we walked a couple miles to the MGM conference center to the VIP party. It was an interesting mix of folks of all nationalities dressed to the nines with a few folks who looked like they just came off the golf course and some young men in sweats hanging around looking like they didn’t belong and didn’t want to belong.

Waitresses filtered through the crowd with trays of appetizers: carpaccio, caviar, shrimp, gazpacho canapés. Then the doors opened and we took our assigned table near the front to one side. A large and excellent band was playing jitterbug music as the first stage of “2001: A Musical Odyssey” with dancers constantly performing to the sides and on the dance floor. Video units projected space-themed decorations over the entire side walls. Already open on the table were three bottles of Francis Coppola wine and an open bar was only steps away against the wall. Former movie star Tony Curtis was sitting at the next table and video-poker legend Bob Dancer and his wife were just to the side of us.

Dinner began with a large portion of perfect and fresh sea bass. This was followed by a salad of Belgian endive in a toasted parmesan bowl with hearts of palm beside, each containing a single lightly candied walnut. The main course was filet mignon and lobster claws, out of the shell. After switching a couple plates among people with different temperature preferences we all ate happily. Meanwhile the band progressed from jitterbug to sixties pop to disco, finishing with classics of the eighties and nineties. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but they brought each of us a platter of assorted treats: a triangular chocolate orgasm, a planet Saturn filled with strawberry mousse, and some wonderful Framboise-soaked berries. I made a good dent in it and when they brought a mammoth chocolate hatbox filled with assorted truffles and petit fours I couldn’t even touch it. Instead I danced with Hunnybear and then with Jacey and before we knew it it was time to head upstairs to watch the fireworks.

My host had sent up three bottles of Asti to the suite so we pulled the chilled glasses out of the ice buckets they arrived in and popped the corks in preparation for midnight. The view from the terrace encompassed almost all the hotels participating in the fireworks display. At 10 till midnight a single burst from all the rooftops signaled the 10-minute warning. The process was then repeated at 11:55. Soon we heard the countdown roar from the crowd of hundreds of thousands assembled below on the Strip. At midnight all the rooftops exploded in unison with a long and spectacular fireworks display. The MGM’s show was right above our heads and the sight of looking straight up at the bombs bursting in air was simply unforgettable. I had slipped out of my tuxedo and into a robe and while everyone was distracted I shucked the robe and jumped into the hot tub to watch the dawn of the new millennium as man had come into this world. This was the best New Year’s celebration ever.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

A FOUR PAWS UP Report as usual LION!

Vegas was so awesome with you all.

I am putting together my trip report (which won't compare to yours!) But I'll try!

Have fun and MEOWY NEW MILLENIMEOW!

<<I shucked the robe and jumped into the hot tub to watch the dawn of the new millennium as man had come into this world.>>

you had a nurse in there with you?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

QL, missed you and HB and kyklin in '99 on Christmas Day! Didn't get your email in time. '00 had to babysit my sick sweetie. Hey, you better count on me for this year. I always have the best times in Las Vegas on Christmas.

Linda FUN

I hope I'm not intruding here. I don't actually know any of you. I've been subscribing to Chris's Lockergnome since it was a little text mail out in 96.

I just want to thank you for the great New Year. I had to spend mine quietly at home in Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada which, while being as exciting as Las Vegas in it's own special way (45 varieties of snow) does not offer the same quality of entertainment options.

Mud, welcome and---you're welcome!

New Year, Old Hoover

When the celebrations finally died down last night we discovered a present from the casino on the bed: a beautiful red Faberge egg. No one knows how to roll out the red carpet better than VIP marketing at a big Las Vegas casino. We both slept late and then I went down to play a little video poker. Arnie the Compmeister was waiting on the edge of his phone for me to call him with news of a Royal but it didn’t come. The hoovering continued. Fortunately Chris and Gretchen came down and we had a nice lunch at Studio Café before heading out, although we didn’t have dessert since as a rule I don’t eat that.

We took the MGM limo to the Las Vegas Hilton where, try as I might, I didn’t succeed in getting my host to comp us to Star Trek: the Experience. No matter, we paid for it ourselves and in fact got a deal for the Ride to Atlantis for only $2.50 extra. The Star Trek ride was as good as I remembered it although the price had gone up to a stunning $24.99 each plus tax. We browsed the gift shop and the Quark Bar for a bit and then took a cab to Venetian to show Chris and Gretchen around there. We popped into the Gold Club lounge for a bottled water and Chris got carded because he looked 14.

After a quick tour through the Grand Canal Shops we crossed the street to Treasure Island to see the pirate show, then walked over to the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace where I treated the gang to the world’s best margarita. We saw most of the shops, did the Ride to Atlantis which wasn’t as good as Star Trek but still nice, and then went to Mirage to see the white tigers and the volcano. The white tigers were AWOL but there was a regular tiger there so we watched it for awhile then went out to the volcano. It was either 10 minutes late or five minutes early but we did get to see it erupt then took the MGM limo back home for dinner.

Tonight we ate at Emeril’s and had the tasting menu, which was much more satisfying than last time. Catman and Burkey had flown home so it was just the six of us. We loved everything. We started with a salad with peekytoe crabmeat and pistachio-crusted ricotta dumplings, accompanied by a bone-dry Austrian sparkling wine, Mozart Extra Brut NV. We also ordered a bowl of turtle soup for the table just to taste it—very nice. Next came a yummy stuffed lobster claw with a glass of Sancette Hippolyte Reverdy ’98 (Loire). The third course was amberjack with rock-shrimp hushpuppies, which came with a glass of Napa Pinot Noir, the Etude “Estate.” The fourth course was seared Scottish salmon. It wasn’t perfect, being not enough seared and too much cooked for my taste. It came with a nice fruity Cotes-du-Rhone, “Bellaruche” M. Chapoutier ’98. Next was a delicious but overly fatty lamb chop served with a nice Bordeaux, Chateau Cos Labory ’96. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but the tasting menu came with a small piece of yummy Hawaiian Vintage chocolate cream pie . Gretchen had Emeril’s famous banana cream pie and loved it and I had just a couple bites. Due to the size of the party they included a generous 18% tip for themselves on the $700 bill.

After dinner Danny and I played a little craps and I finally had a winning session while Chris and Gretchen tried the New York, New York roller coaster. We finished up the evening with me supervising while Hunnybear, Danny, and Jacey played a little video poker. Jacey was lucky but Danny and Hunnybear got hoovered while earning a few American Airlines miles. We finally got to bed around one.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

The digital photos have been uploaded. Fresh from the DSC-S70.
http://albums.photopoint.com/j/Album...348&a=10739964

Chris

Party not free

I was in danger of having my first trip without a Royal so I got up early and went down to play a little video poker. Hunnybear soon joined me and despite ferocious play on both our parts we continued to have suck results. Hunnybear did hit a dealt quad on the five-play machine and I got a Straight Flush, but no Royals were in sight.

Chris and Gretchen came down and watched us bleed for a while then we went to Studio Café for a final brunch. I wasn’t hungry so I just had a shrimp cocktail and drooled over the chocolate milkshake Gretchen ordered. Chris had a Lion Burger, hold the bun, while Gretchen had a good-looking Southwestern Burger and Hunnybear had her traditional mushroom-cheese omelet. We tried several avenues to get Chris some heavy cream for his coffee but there was none to be found, just wimpy half-and-half. When we were done we set up a limo for the Gnomes and bid them adieu before spending the rest of the afternoon in a futile attempt to recover from the disastrous trip. The free New Year’s Eve party ended up costing me dearly.

I tried once again to get the Star Trek ride comped but it was not possible because the policy so I resigned myself to actually paying for something in Vegas and went upstairs to pack. The limo took us to the National check-in counter where the driver tried to do his skycap friends a favor by taking our bags directly to them without being asked. I told him we didn’t want skycap service but gave him a generous tip anyway. There was no line at the National counter despite all the flights being sold out. We checked our whales and went up to the National Club where the good host/agent/bartender was pleased to see that we had the right fare for club admission this time.

I had a Manhattan and Hunnybear had a coconut rum and Diet Coke as we used the phone and Internet until flight time. The flight was on schedule and we boarded, turned left, and took our seats in 4D and F of one of National’s all-757 fleet. Preflight drinks were limited to orange juice, champagne, and bottled water but once underway we got the good Strip view on takeoff and the good snack service with the expensive cheese and Carr’s crackers. No hot towel this time but we landed early and got towed into the gate. The luggage came out after a short delay and we stood in a fast-moving cab line to get our ride back home to Marina del Rey in the warm Southern California air.

The end.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

Boy QL, have you slacked off on your attention to detail now that you've won the Omni? http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

I read and reread, but couldn't figure out who the six of you were who had dinner at Brown Derby (QL, Hunnybear, Chirs, Gretchen, Catman, ????) ...

Until I got to the first mention of Burkey which was, "Catman and Burkey had flown home ...".

Boy, I know Burkey's not the most exciting guy, but no mention of him until he's gone? http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif