fly747first

Great!

CMK10

Best mention of Biscoff ever in a thread if not on this whole site! Of course I'm slightly biased but I stand by what I said.

thespeedskater

Great report so far. Like your writing style!

IAMORGAN

Really enjoying this report and your writing style!

letsflythere

It all sounds like an adventure!

Better if you can quantify some of the flight experience into rating~ ^

Top of climb

I'll try to do a comparison between the airlines as more flights come on stream, but I always find it difficult to break down aspects and score them.

Top of climb

QF94 LAX-MEL A380 VH-OQB

The last time I flew a Qantas premium service was in 2005. It was on the upper deck of a 747-300. The flight attendant, Margaret, looked like a librarian. Not like a librarian who keeps sugared lollipops under the issues desk to give out to children who return their books on time. But one of those really old, grumpy librarians with a beehive hairdo and who are forever forgetting where they have left their glasses despite having them on a cord around their neck. In fact Margaret actually did have her glasses on a cord around her neck. I half expected her to whip out a returns date stamp when she handed over the food. The only reason why she didn’t was probably because they didn’t actually want the food back. There’s not much of a market for twenty dry pieces of fish which have been cooked to a consistency resembling flaked rubber.

I started flying Air New Zealand after that.

Qantas’ A380s are configured with their First Class cabin on the main deck, behind which is all economy stretching right back to the rear; and Business and Premium Economy on the upper deck. At airports with two bridge boarding, like LAX, this meant that First and Economy shared one jetbridge. Since I boarded early it wasn’t a problem. In fact I ended up being the first in the First cabin to arrive, which I took advantage of by quickly snapping anything and everything I could see through my camera viewfinder. The cabin may not look like much in the photos – I wasn’t that impressed when I was first scoping it out online – but the seat really is very comfortable and it is quite nice being cocooned away from the other seats without having doors, which I find claustrophobic. I much prefer the QF/CX suite design to that of the like of EK’s.





After I’d settled in the crew member who’d welcomed me at the door came by to introduce herself and to apologise for getting my name wrong when I boarded (she’d greeted me using my first name as my surname, an easy mistake to make when just going by the flash of a boarding pass). She also delivered a small plate of biscuits, red pepper hummus and stuffed green olives, and offered a glass of champagne. It would be rude not to accept, right?



I don’t really like olives so I left those well alone but the biscuits and dip were very nice. While I was enjoying my pre-departure nibbles one of the other flight attendants came by with pyjamas and the amenity kit.



A lot of people rushed to the washroom straight away to change into their jammies, which I found surprising. Not that we all don’t look very fetching in our roo-logo’d PJ’s, and it’s always great when your clothes match the furniture, but I’d personally prefer to be going down the evac slide in my own clothes. One thing which I wasn’t expecting with the PJs were the First slippers, meaning that my own pair of CX slippers (which did not match the furniture) were redundant. Didn’t stop me wearing them anyway, since (a) they were a better fit than the QF slippers; (b) I’d brought them on board and so stubbornly I was going to make use of them; and (c) why not make a fashion statement?



There was a bit of a delay in pushing back but the flight attendant serving our side of the cabin used the time to good effect by coming round to take our orders for supper.

LOS ANGELES TO AUSTRALIA

SUPPER
Our extensive Rockpool designed menu allows you flexibility to choose from our full menu after take off or at any time throughout your flight. Your Flight Attendant will be pleased to assist you with your selection.

OUR PRODUCE
Tonight’s menu includes corn fed chicken and Black Canyon Angus beef which is grain fed, resulting in juicy, tender beef with a robust flavour.

CANAPES
Parmesan Biscuits, Red Pepper Hummus and Stuffed Green Olives

ENTREES
Potato and Leek Soup with Chive Cream
Salad of King Prawns with a Truffle and Sherry Dressing

LIGHT COURSES
Big bowl of Chorizo and Borlotti Bean Soup
Toasted Corn Fed Chicken, Bacon and Gruyere Burger
Our signature Steak Sandwich with Tomato and Chilli Relish

MAIN COURSES
Butternut Pumpkin and Sage Cannelloni with Spinach and Burnt Butter
Seared Sea Bass with Herb and Pine Nut Salsa, Asparagus and Slow Roasted Tomatoes
Black Canyon Angus Beef Fillet, Sauteed Potatoes, Broccolini and Green Peppercorn Sauce

SIDE SALAD
Salad of Frisee, Mache and Red Mustard leaves with your choice of dressing
Aged Balsamic and Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Fresh Lemon Juice and Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Red Wine Vinaigrette

CHEESE
Hand selected blue, soft and hard cheese served with accompaniments

DESSERT
Raspberry and Lemon Cake with Creme Fraiche
Apricot and Blueberry Crumble with Sauce Anglaise
Ice Cream Tubs
Whole or Sliced Fresh Seasonal Fruit

PETITS FOURS
A selection of Charles hand made chocolates
White Chocolate Snowballs
Mocha Nut Slice

WINE LIST

CHAMPAGNE
Taittinger Comtes de Champagne Blanc de Blancs

WHITE WINE
Leeuwin Estate ‘Art Series’ Chardonnay 2007 | Margaret River, Western Australia
Frankland Estate Isolation Ridge Riesling 2009 | Frankland River, West Australia
Cullen ‘Mangan Vineyard’ Sauvignon Blanc Semillon 2009 | Margaret River, Western Australia

RED WINE
Penfolds St Henri Shiraz 2004 | McLaren Vale and Barossa Valley, South Australia
Spring Vale Melrose Pinot Noir 2010 | Tasmania
Mount Mary Vineyard Quintet Cabernet 2006 | Yarra Valley, Victoria

DESSERT WINE
Mount Horrocks Cordon Cut Riesling 2009 | Clare Valley, South Australia

Here seems as good a place as any to talk about safety videos. I read an article somewhere – it might even have been the New York Times – which culled the best five safety videos ever made. I don’t remember which five they were, except that the one with the Delta finger waggle made it. You know the one. Where she tells you smoking is noooooooot allowed. And of course Air New Zealand has courted controversy after controversy with its safety videos of late, featuring body-painted flight attendants, streaking old ladies and a muppet who, despite being operated by what seems to be quite sophisticated puppetry, manages to insert his foot into his mouth with increasing regularity.

Qantas’ safety videos have always been, quite frankly, awful. I don’t necessarily need a gimmicky safety video or a tall redhead waggling her finger at me, but I would quite like to be talked to as if I wasn’t five years old. For those of you who have never watched a previous incarnation of a Qantas video, I dare say someone has uploaded it on to YouTube. For those of you who have, you’ll understand when I say that to this day I cannot hear the phrase “let me explain” without cringing.

Anyway, some bright spark at Qantas HQ – she (or he) probably did a marketing degree – must have decided it was time to give the old safety video a bit of a boost. They added some music with a beat for the soundtrack. Fine, good, a bit of music doesn’t usually lend itself to going wrong. They got John Travolta to do a brief cameo. Still fine, he was fairly unoffensive. They decided to not call the flight attendants flight attendants. They didn’t even go for safety professionals. They went for “team”.

The flight attendants were not pleased. They complained that it made them sound like they worked at McDonald’s. Of course, the irony is that if you go to a McDonald’s – at least in New Zealand – all the workers wear t-shirts which say “crew” on the back.

One of the great things about being on the A380 – apart from the fact that everything is brand spanking new – is the tailcam. Qantas’ First seat is great as a space once in the air, but for takeoff and landing it’s set in a forward facing position which makes it pretty much impossible to press one’s nose to the window. This is compensated for somewhat by the ability to tune into tailcam on the television. Our flight attendant actually told me later that she encouraged her passengers to watch the tailcam, because the portholes on the A380 door are so small: “when we’re strapped in our jumpseats for takeoff or landing we can barely see outside, so it’s quite handy for our customers to be able to tell us if the plane’s on fire”.

How You Can Help The Team. Coming soon to an A380 safety video near you.



“This is your Captain speaking. We’ve got a relatively short flight time to Melbourne today...”

I heard those words and my face fell. It always seems to be that whenever I’m down the back, the flight time is long. When I’m up the front, suddenly there is no queue for a takeoff slot, tail winds are gusting at 200 plus kilometres per hour and ATC have decided that they’ll send you straight in with no hold. Only to find your speedy flight time has landed you behind a flight from every at-risk country imaginable. All filled to the brim with passengers. And who all seem to attract increased attention at the border.

“... just 15 hours and 5 minutes...”

I perked up again.

Just before push there was the obligatory hot towel run. Here’s your chance to compare the size of Qantas’ hot towel to American’s hot towel.



Once we’d taken off – very silently – and we in First were released from our three point seatbelt, the crew came by to set the rather massive table for dinner. I can’t say I’m a fan of the Marc Newson designed cutlery, which look rather squarish and stumpy. It was also interesting to see that there were no salt and pepper shakers, though whether that was because (a) Marc Newson couldn’t come up with a design which made them look equally squarish and stumpy to match the cutlery; or (b) Qantas wanted to avoid the underground market in premium salt and pepper shakers that have plagued other airlines such as VS or CX, I don’t know. Instead we had a dish of salt like at a posh restaurant and cracked pepper offered by the flight attendant with each course.

Shortly after, the bread came round. The presentation style of this was rather odd. On most airlines you get presented with a basket stuffed full of three, maybe four bread types. On some airlines you get your own individual mini-bread basket. On Qantas what I was presented with was a very large tray, on which sat four very small, desolate looking bread rolls. Two white, two brown. Looking very lonesome.

I took pity on a white roll. It was the type that comes super crusty on the outside; not my favourite, but I ate it anyway. The butter could have been softer.

Next up was the starter, which for me was a scrummy leek and potato soup.



Pumpkin ranks shortly behind – if not above – tomato on my most hated foods list, and I wasn’t really in the mood for another beef main after the transcon. I’d heard good things about the Qantas steak sandwich, so it fit the bill perfectly: something light to munch on before bed and also a chance to try out one of those things which I understand you must try when flying Qantas First.



It was tasty, but I couldn’t truthfully say I found it anything amazing.

On my final night in New York my friends took me out to a Southern bbq restaurant. They had fresh fruit cobbler on the dessert menu. When I ordered it, they told me they had run out. Yes, run out. My reaction was the same as yours: a bbq restaurant running out of cobbler? Had I left America and entered a foreign universe?

I took solace in my cobbler deprivation by having the blueberry and apricot crumble.



The crew cleaned up the remnants of the dinner service and then came by with a tray of petits fours – chocolates, a chocolatey slice and some divine coconut macaroons – and a water bottle.



I was still watching my movie so the crew didn’t interrupt to ask to make up my bed, but it was pretty easy to just wander back to the galley after the movie ended to ask them to make it up for me. The flight attendant suggested I nip off to the washroom to “freshen up” while she made up my bed, though I wandered up to the upstairs lounge to snap some photos instead.



The bed was very comfortable. VERY comfortable. It was wide. And it was long. And in what gave the tip over the CX bed for me, was the fact that it stays the same width all the way down, meaning that I could toss, turn and otherwise sleep as if I were more or less on my bed at home. This is a shot I took later of the seat in full flat position but not made up for sleeping.



I woke up with about six hours to go to Melbourne and wandered back to the galley to annoy the crew. Well, it was really more to have a chat, but my friends tell me that in my case chatting with someone and annoying someone amounts to the same thing.

I chatted with the crew on duty for about 10 minutes before they all went fleeing for the sanctity of their crew rest, with whispered warnings about the mad passenger in 3A to their incoming colleagues. Nonetheless I spent a very enjoyable couple of hours hanging out in the galley nibbling on the remainder of the petits fours and swapping Qantas gossip with the flight attendant (and what she thought the then as yet unannounced changes to the QF international network would entail).

The other flight attendant wasn’t quite as friendly; very polite and efficient in his duties but didn’t want to say much outside of them. I decided to take advantage of the dark cabin to snap some photos of an empty suite without the other passengers staring, so slipped into 5K and turned on some of the suite lights so as not so use the flash. I was happily – but quietly – snapping away when the flight attendant came past and asked me to turn off the lights so I wouldn’t disturb the passenger in 4K. Which I did, but I found it slightly odd since he could hardly could have asked me to switch off the lights had I been back in my own seat. Then again he was also the flight attendant who wouldn’t let me take a photo of the egg mixture for breakfast, so maybe he just didn’t like me. The others were all happy for me to snap photos of anything and everything, including the $45,000 machine they use to make toasted sandwiches and toast for breakfast.



One of the crew when she saw how keen I was on taking photos of toasters suggested that since I had access to pretty much the whole plane as a First customer that I should take a walk. She was probably finding a nice way to try and evict the strange passenger who had suddenly invaded her galley. Still, there’s nothing like actually walking the A380 through on both decks to appreciate what a truly large plane it is. There’s also nothing like walking through a 300 plus full up Y cabin to appreciate my cocoon in F, and that was where I retreated to find a member of the crew had made the bed up again for me to clamber back into.



To give credit where it’s due, Qantas has put a lot of clever thought into the design of the seat. The headphone storage drawer doubles as a knick-knack tray when the headphones are out, there’s a handy headphone hook by the head of the seat, the water bottle holder is in easy reach in both sitting and reclined position and the feature I liked most of all, is that the seat control unit defaults to a “time to destination” screen when inactive. It was great lying in bed just being able to reach up to the SCU, hit the button and have the information blink on in a dimmed background. While many airlines have a time to go feature on their handsets it always comes with the entire LCD screen lighting up, which can be a bit jarring in a dark cabin.



The crew had asked if I wanted to be woken for breakfast and I was brought back to the land of the living with a discreet touch to the knee by one of the passing flight attendants. While I was in the bathroom the crew tidied up the bed and restored the seat to the pre-set ‘dine’ position.

BREAKFAST
Create your favourite Breakfast from our extensive Rockpool designed menu. Your Flight Attendant will be pleased to assist you with your selection.

Orange Juice
Apple Juice
Tomato Juice
Cranberry Juice
Mango Juice
Pear Juice
Vanilla and Honey Energiser Drink

Fresh Fruit Salad
Bircher Muesli
Brookfarm Toasted Muesli with Cranberries
Cereal Selection
Yoghurt and Honey

Toast
Croissant
Fruit Toast
Strawberry Jam, Orange Marmalade, Honey, Vegemite

HOT SELECTION
Free Range Scrambled Eggs on Sourdough Toast with Smoked Salmon, Creamed Spinach and Sour Cream
Sweetcorn and Potato Cakes with Pan Fried Portobello Mushrooms, Applewood Smoked Bacon and Slow Roasted Vine Ripened Tomatoes
Toasted Banana Bread with Poached Fruit Compote and Yoghurt

The fruit salad, having been drowned in some sort of liquid sugar, was too sweet for my liking. And the $45,000 toast tasted rather stale. It wasn’t a very impressive start.



Eggs for breakfast on board a plane? There are some who swear that you might as well nuke a piece of rubber and eat that. I’ve never had a bad experience. But this time I was dreaming of some eggs Benedict in the lounge for breakfast. And I was slightly put off by the crew telling me during our midflight chat in the galley that sometimes the eggs go green when they put them in the oven. Not that I thought the crew would actually serve up green eggs, but somehow knowing that the eggs were capable of changing hue was enough to put me off them this particular morning.

The sweetcorn and potato cakes were very yummy, especially with an added side of smoked salmon to make up for the presence of the fruit of evil.



The breakfast service wrapped up with over an hour and a half to go to Melbourne. With a full cabin I can see why you might want to start at the time they did but with such a light load it could have been left a little later. Then again, with such a long flight time I think the usual sleep/eat time balance was less of an issue.

Just before top of descent the second officer came on the PA to give us information about our arrival and to make the union-obliged “why we think Qantas should pay us more and stop outsourcing our jobs to Asia” speech. For what it was, it was rather tastefully done. Melbourne was under cloud cover but there was still a very nice sunrise-drenched sky as we made some gentle banks over Victoria and touched down at Tullamarine a little ahead of schedule.

The entire A380 experience was very pleasant. Qantas have a more than decent First Class product; an excellent hard product and also some very good crew, although one of the F crew and the CSD were rather lacklustre (though pleasant enough). Overall it was a most enjoyable flight, and more than made up for my last, not-so-great, Qantas experience.

Next: a 9 hour transit in MEL hanging out in the QF First lounge.

bennijiggs

Awesome trip report! Love your style, and your photos. You just helped 1 hour of a quiet day at work pass by seamlessly! ^

ung1

Another most entertaining installment, thanks!

About the EK vs. CX suites (and I haven't been in the latter though they do look very tasteful) I do beg to differ about the feeling of claustrophobia. First, because the suite doors can be kept partially open to whatever extent one desires, based on whether the adjacent suite is occupied for example, and second, because the EK suite is half the width of an A320. It's REALLY wide. If anything, their A380 J product is slightly claustrophobic.

briantoronto

I think this is an example of how quantitative measures in trip reports don't really work. Given that most of the reporting is qualitative, I think it is best for someone to read the report, ask questions, and compare the writer's experiences and expectations to ones own.

As an aside, I am enjoying this report! ^

Top of climb

See I like being nosy and spying on other people, and I found the walls on EK didn't quite let me do that. On CX (and QF) leveraging myself up on the seat or leaning forward a bit did the trick

Top of climb

There are a number of names, none of them complimentary, for Qantas’ low cost offshoot Jetstar. Deathstar was the one I tended to use, though recently someone told me that around his office it was known as Onestar, which I quite liked, so I’m going to poach it. Now, let’s be sure here – unlike the New Zealand Herald – to distinguish between Onestar and Qantas’ other offshoot, Jetconnect. Onestar is the low cost carrier with, well, the one star on its tail. Jetconnect is the New Zealand based subsidiary which flies trans-Tasman services in Qantas colours, offers full Qantas service and is currently the piñata at which the Qantas Australian pilots’ union is whacking with all its might. Pilots operating flights for an Australian airline using Australian registered aircraft should be paid Australian wages, you see. Or you might not, because Jetconnect actually fly New Zealand registered planes.

Still, it’s a universal maxim that politicians don’t want the truth, they want something they can use in a sound bite.

Anyway, when I first scheduled my layover in Melbourne, I had a choice between a midday Onestar service to AKL or a 3 pm Jetconnect flight. In other words, I was connecting to a 3 pm Jetconnect flight. However, about three months out from departure, Qantas moved all the Jetconnect services up by a couple of hours and sent the Onestar service to where it belonged; departing at some ungodly hour of the morning when only zombies and those willing to sacrifice sleep for a low cost flight across the Tasman are awake. The result was that Qantas automatically protected me to an 11.50 am Jetconnect departure.

That left me three and a half hours in the Qantas First lounge. Now that is not enough time to properly enjoy the QF First Lounge. It’s barely enough time for a shower and breakfast.

Time was a currency of which I had plenty. I whipped out the computer and fired off an email to my friendly itinerary keeper at CX, asking for the 5.30 pm departure. I don’t think he even blinked at this point, so used by now was he to my deranged requests.

Now, I realise that to a lot of people the thought of spending 9 hours in an airport, even with lounge access, is a prospect about as bad as spending 9 hours locked in a room with Rebecca Black playing on an endless loop. In fact depending on that person’s musical preferences it might even be worse than spending 9 hours locked in a room listening to Rebecca Black. But I like airports. And I like planes. And I quite fancied the idea of a relaxing 9 hours, chilling in one of the world’s best lounges, with a great view over the Melbourne international apron and runway. There are far too few times in our lives where we aren’t on the clock; where we have to be somewhere by a certain time or date, that I was determined that I was going to make the most of this time in my life where I could blissfully, leisurely and just plain out lazily do what I wanted to do.

I’d asked the CSD if I could take a quick peek into the cockpit after landing, which she was more than happy to organise, so I ended up exiting with the passengers from around row 84. That didn’t concern me too much, since I wasn’t expecting very many passengers to be making international connections.



I was right. There weren’t very many passengers making international connections. In fact, there weren’t any. I must say it was terrific fun having my own security checkpoint. I had some liquids this time from my amenity kit, and had no baggie to put them in, so just for the heck of it I took my time taking out every liquid and gel and placing it in the tray to be screened separately.

Like many other airports nowadays Melbourne is really a shopping mall disguised as a terminal. The up escalator from the international connections screening point deposited me between a cabinet of perfume and a rack of mascara. If it hadn’t been for the people loitering around with rollaboards, I would have sworn that the escalator was some sort of portal to a realm of retail.

Melbourne airport also seemed to be under construction, with a rather winding path to get out to the main diamond-shaped area from which most of the gates lead off. It was a rather tedious walk first storming through the duty free shops, and then circling around some hastily hoarding-screened passageways; not helped by some very slow walkers wheeling bags the size of Belgium. Why must people spread out across the passageway like some sort of amoeba? A thoroughfare is not a vacuum. It does not need to be abhorred.

It probably didn’t even take 5 minutes for me to wind up where I’d started one level up, outside gate 9 and VH-OQB, but it felt like an eternity. See, that’s the odd thing about me. I love airports, and could happily spend an entire day in one. In fact, I will be. But if I have a specific place to get to in the airport, I despise dawdling and everyone who engages in it. My sole objective in life becomes to get to that place in the shortest time possible. So, in the name of all that is holy, get out of my way.

Someone should develop an app for people like me. Angry Passenger. Bonus points for running over annoyingly slow walkers and barging through duty free display shelves.

The Qantas First lounge is one level up from main departures. The Qantas Business lounge is somewhere else. Frankly I didn’t care where. The sole reason for such a long transit in Melbourne was to try out the F lounge. On an inbound F boarding pass. Which was a bit of a try on. The QF website wasn’t terribly clear about whether inbound class of travel counted. It simply referred to “international First customers departing on a Qantas or oneworld operated flight”. There were a couple of stories on FT from those in similar circumstances being allowed access, but nothing definitive.

I handed over my inbound First boarding pass and my connecting Business boarding pass to the nice Qantas lounge host.

“Mr Top of climb I think you’re looking for our Business Class lounge...?”

First reaction: not printable.

Second reaction: I damn well am not.

Third reaction: bluff.

“Oh, I thought I had access to the First lounge because I’m arriving off an international First flight?”

I didn’t think it so much as fervently hoped it, but I figured he didn’t need to know this. Especially when he looked at my LAX-MEL boarding pass, saw the First on the top of the card and apologised, saying I was perfectly right and to please enjoy.



First order of business was another shower. Hey, so I like to be clean.



The shower rooms were very nice, though I thought the showerhead pressure was lacking a bit. And it was rather dark in the shower itself. Providing individual pots of shampoo and soap and conditioner was very nice though, especially when in the dark I managed to tip the entire contents of the pot of shampoo on to the floor of the shower.

The lounge had been fairly full when I came in, but I emerged from the shower room to find everyone gone. I mean everyone. I was the only person left, apart from about 10 Qantas staff members.

I headed over to the restaurant at the other end of the lounge for some breakfast.




Travelling with kids? They can get cornflakes, weetbix and coco pops.

Now, I realise I’ve talked about food a lot in these reports. Or more accurately my food preferences. I also realise that you probably don’t care. Some of you might even worship tomatoes. Or pumpkins. I don’t really care that you don’t care. I’m writing this report. It’s the only time in my life where I get to rant about tomatoes without people telling me to shut up.

One of the other foods I’m particularly picky about is Eggs Benedict. I love Eggs Benedict. Easily my favourite breakfast dish. But I absolutely hate it when they are not done properly. It is a dish that does not need improving. So no, I do not want olives scattered on top of my eggs. Or the bacon – and by that I mean proper shoulder bacon, none of this ham stuff which American food outlets pretend is bacon stolen from Canada – to be substituted with something else like sausage. And the egg yolks had better damn well be runny. With a decent hollandaise.

Qantas deserve the designation of best lounge alone for the perfect version of the dish they served up (I asked them to substitute the ham on the menu for bacon, which they were more than happy to do).



One of the things recommended for my long stopover in Melbourne, from everyone from the cabin crew to the waitress when she learnt that my flight was not for another eight hours, was to indulge in a spa appointment. The Qantas First lounge has a Payot spa complimentary to all guests, though Qantas First passengers are rung up the day before by the concierge for a pre-booking. Luckily with a long gap between the LAX departure and the next big flight to Singapore/London at 3, there were plenty of appointments available for me to slip into. The staff got me to fill out a quick questionnaire about the type of treatment I was looking for (basically a choice of: pain and suffering, invigorating, light) and then pencilled me in an hour later for 10.30.

I was a bit apprehensive when I went back at 10.30. I’ve not had one of these before. And I don’t really like pain. I can make a paper cut sound like a lost limb.

Needless to say I went for the light treatment. Invigorating conjured up scary images of being pummelled and whacked and basically hurt. OK, I’m a wimp.

The masseuse showed me into the treatment room and left me alone while she went off to organise something. I took the opportunity to take a few snaps of the room, which was fitted in a cool stone and featured the famous QF First “living wall” on one side. There were windows which overlooked the tarmac as well, but the shades were drawn.





The massage turned out to be very nice, and was just the thing to work out the kinks accumulated from 24 hours of travel. It was a pretty fun lounge perk.

After the treatment I felt like I should get some exercise, so went out and had a wander around the main terminal. The place was almost as dead as the lounge.

My favourite feature of the First lounge was the floor to ceiling windows that extended all the way along the front and wrapped around the restaurant. There were great views of the Qantas domestic apron, part of the international apron and the approach to the crosswind runway. Sitting in a comfy armchair, watching the plane movements, and having people ready to bring you anything you want to eat and drink? It doesn’t get much better than this for a plane geek.



After a bit of internet surfing, and a forty-five minute circuit of the main terminal so I could con myself that I’d actually done some exercise, it was back to the lounge for lunch.


That is the last time I transcribe a lounge menu.

I started with the crispy calamari, even though the pork belly was tempting.



Very yummy, as was the lamb pasta that followed.



And for dessert, I couldn’t really go past the chocolate lava cake. Ice cream tubs I can have anywhere.



You can keep your sea views. As lunches go, it doesn’t really get much better than this.



The rest of the afternoon I whiled away with multiple glasses of Solo lemon squash – that stuff should be exported – and watching planes go past. I was very tempted to go for another meal before I boarded, as I wasn’t expecting Jetconnect to dish up anything amazing for dinner on the plane, but in the end I just couldn’t do it. Too full. I settled for nibbling on the seasonal fruit plate, which was a bit of a disappointment. Although beautifully presented, a lot of the fruit was quite tart. Yes I know, complain if it’s too sweet, complain if it’s too sour. I’m a hard person to please.





By now it was coming up on boarding time so I went to collect the bags which the Qantas lounge host had been keeping for me and headed downstairs. One of the great things about Melbourne’s design is that most of the gates lead off the central atrium, so all of the gates are about the same short walking distance from the lounge.



During my day in the lounge I’d managed to see three shift changes at the front desk and outlasted the entire day shift of the concierge. I’m pretty sure I provided a great talking point for the staff on duty that day. The squatter with the Kiwi accent. But everyone I encountered in the lounge, from the hosts to the waitstaff in the restaurant to the Payot staff in the spa, were all lovely professionals who really did Qantas proud. The First lounge in Melbourne is certainly up there in terms of hard product – restaurant, spa, views – but the staff really helped ramp it up to that next level. Quite easily one of the best lounges I have ever been in.

Next: Jetconnect 737-800 Business Class (or what they have the nerve to call Business Class) to Auckland.

mad_atta

LOL, never a truer word was written. I'm exactly the same!

Great next instalment! Though I'm looking forward to seeing how interesting you can make JetConnect across the Tasman...

myefre

Just teasing, great report.

airoli

This is fabulous, I really enjoy your style - both of travel and of writing. ^

Where do I sign up for the tomato eradication front?