Cancún or bust! From London on AC (things go wrong) and CO
 

I had to get to Cancún in January for work, and as a CO frequent flyer I really wanted to get there on Star Alliance. For various reasons (a combination of financial concerns and aircraft type) I had the bright idea of booking my flights in two parts: 1) LHR-YYZ-IAH, IAH-LHR and 2) IAH-CUN-IAH. I would come to regret this decision in time.

Flight one (Saturday):
AC859 LHR-YYZ
Boeing 767-300ER C-FMWU
Scheduled departure: 18:25 (Actual: dunno, round about then)
Scheduled arrival: 21:45 (Actual: never made it)
Seat: 27A (Assigned) 28A (Taken in error)

Usually when I’m flying to the new world it involves an early start, sometimes with time for breakfast at home, sometimes not. On this occasion I’d allowed myself an overnight stop in Toronto, which meant I’d be taking one of the last flights to the Americas that day. This in turn meant that I’d have the whole morning to spend with my family. To be honest I found the whole affair somewhat disorientating, and I spent the whole morning looking at my watch, convinced I’d miss the train to the airport. I feel I could have made better use of the time I’d made available to myself.

I took the train through to Reading and then the RailAir coach to heathrow, firing up the laptop as soon as I was onboard, the free wi-fi being one of the great attractions of this service. We made an initial drop at T5, and then by a happy coincidence there were no travellers wanting T1, so it was straight to T3 and directly to Air Canada check-in.

I went straight to a kiosk, but since there was no-one in the queue a slightly bored-looking agent shouted me over to the desk to help lighten her tedium. This turned out to be a good thing. Since my itinerary had me apparently stopping in Houston the next day an address was required, despite my actually being in transit (that’ll be why I couldn’t check in online). When I couldn’t provide an address, the check-in girl tapped away at her computer for a bit and cheerily announced “I’ve put you in the Hilton”.

I had to actively request a priority tag for my luggage, which I wanted largely because I lacked an AC one for the collection. I was disappointed that it didn’t say Air Canada or Aeroplan anywhere on it, but it did have “priority” in both English and French. My luggage weighed in at about 25 kg and I was all set to split it into two pieces if need be, but she let me on as it was. There was a very light load this evening.

I made my way through security, carefully emptying my pockets, but still setting off the alarms with my belt buckle. Someone’s been tweaking the sensitivity since I was last through T3. Thankfully it was fairly quiet at this time of afternoon, so there weren’t too many witnesses to my kettle moment. Past security I hugged the wall on the right to make my way through duty free with the fewest possible retail opportunities. A quick tour of the terminal and I headed over to Yo! Sushi for a bite to eat.

By the time I’d finished eating my dinner & washed my hands, etc., it was time to start heading over to the gate area. There was a good amount of mainly out-of-date reading material available at the gate, and a good (if poorly-angled) view of our aircraft- my first ever 767.

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Boarding was by rows, and very efficient. But then so it should have been, with a less than half-full aeroplane this evening. I boarded as soon as my section was called and settled into my seat. The cabin was showing its age somewhat with the old-school overhead bins, but had the neat touch of modern mood lighting. The first thing I saw when I looked out my window was what looked like an Iberia A340 winglet attached to our wing (it was darker than the photo makes it appear). A definite moment of cognitive dissonance.

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I also took the opportunity to take a photograph of the available legroom. Plenty for little old me.

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I tried to check in to tomorrows IAH-CUN flight on my distinctly low-spec ‘phone, whilst listening to my iPod. In the midst of this what I took to be my seat-mate appeared. I smiled warmly, and made sure I wasn’t spilling over into the B seat, but he chose to sit in the unoccupied bank of three instead. Fine. Of course, it was only after take off when I stood up to get something from the locker that I realised I was sitting in 28A rather than my assigned 27A. The by now somewhat frosty gentleman confirmed that he was ticketed to sit in 28A, but stated that he was happy to remain where he was. I apologised, but did not insist. No point in making a bad situation worse.

Between my error and my realising it of course we had taken off and climbed-out. It was just after the initial climb-out phase that the plane started rocking violently from side to side. I thought the cabin crew had slipped the pilot a bung to rock us all to sleep so they didn’t have to give us a proper dinner service. Possibly this was what led 28C to letting me keep his assigned seat- who’d want to look out when that sort of behaviour was going on?!

The shaking settled down, and I’d all but forgotten it when a voice came over the intercom announcing that we were about to return to Heathrow to have a rudder that the captain was not happy with checked out. Cue much groaning, and a very quiet cabin on the approach to Heathrow. We were parked over by the T5 remote stands and given the once-over. after some indeterminate length of time (I was availing myself of Air Canada’s gate-to-gate IFE whilst we waited) it was announced that we would be delayed until tomorrow. Executive class passengers were to be put up in the Renaissance, Economy passengers were to be put up in the Ibis. Please collect your bags for rechecking tomorrow, and see your representative in the terminal.

The Ibis?!!! I had a pre-paid reservation at the Toronto Airport Sheraton, just to rub salt into the wounds.

At this point I felt entirely justified in ‘liberating’ a spare unopened Executive Class amenity bag. I took a photo, I know what you’re like. The lip balm tasted like fudge. The flight socks came in very handy when I eventually made it to Cancún since I found myself in a hotel with tiled floors that didn’t think to provide patrons with slippers. Shame on you, Hilton Cancún Golf and Spa.

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Luggage collection, bus transfer and hotel check-in passed in a whirl of tedium. There was one piece of good news in all this, though: after we all got ourselves onto the bus it was announced that we’d be going to the Novotel rather than the Ibis. Not the Sheraton, though. It was about 11pm by the time all this was completed and I had details of my new connection, and I headed back to my room to try and sort out my missed connection that I had so wisely put on a separate booking.

No internet. Apparently Air Canada’s largesse did not extend to granting their stranded passengers internet access. I looked at my CO reservation print out. No ‘phone number. I looked at my OnePass card. No UK ‘phone number. At this point I wander down to the hotel lobby to see if I can use their ‘business centre’ ( a couple of sticky-looking Macs next to a broken printer). both computers were in use, but I did manage to run into the AC rep who had internet on her ‘phone who managed to get a ‘phone number for me.

Made aware than ‘phone calls can only be made from the front desk, I head over there to learn that they are furthermore limited to three minutes duration. Oh, come on! Uncertain of my chances of resolving my ticketing issues within 3 minutes, I decide to go back to my room and use my mobile instead.

It is of course by now well past eleven pm, and there’s still a queue for the restaurant. At this point I was happy that I’d had perhaps one more plate of sushi than strictly necessary earlier in the evening. My dinner that night was a Mars bar, mini tub of pringles, and a couple of cans of Grolsch- basically the (rather limited) contents of the mini bar. I saved the orange juice for morning. I suppose Air Canada can be glad I don’t drink cola or carbonated water.

I ‘phoned CO’s help line, and was somewhat alarmed to hear that everything was closed for the evening. Immediately after this announcement though, I was invited to stay on the line if my flight was within the next 24 hours. At this point I was transferred to Houston (I imagine), and started speaking to an incredibly helpful rep, Beth, who pointed out that if I was to change my flights then it would cost me somewhere north of £400, but if I waited a couple of hours I could pull a same day change for US$50.

After this ‘phone conversation I could see why everyone on the CO boards seem to be up in arms about any potential move to a UA-style outsourced Indian call centre. I have no qualms with dealing with Indian call centres (and possibly we in the UK are more used to the Indian accent), but dealing with Beth was a positive pleasure.

At this point, its time for bed. I grab a quick shower, request an alarm call, and hit the sack. Five hours later I’m magically awake (long before that requested alarm call) and making that call to change my later flight. I head down for breakfast and am about third onto the bus back to Heathrow.

Check-in was considerably busier than yesterday- they’d decided to combine us with that mornings AC869. There was no windows available, so I took the furthest-forward aisle, which was 23F. The agent also handed me my boarding pass for my flight YYZ-IAH. 14C. After the fuss I’d made about getting a window on the first leg, I was somewhat non-plussed to be presented with an aisle for the second. A bit of tappity-tapping later and I was in 20A- an exit row seat.

An exit row seat for free should make one happy, right? Well, it would have done if I hadn’t have learned that my upgrade to first on my scheduled UAX flight YYZ-IAH had come through. Poor old AC manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My bag was checked through to CUN, although the agent was unable to print my third boarding pass.

Flight one (Sunday):
AC869 LHR-YYZ
Boeing 767-300ER C-GEOU
Scheduled departure: 08:30 (Actual: 10:00)
Scheduled arrival: 11:35 (Actual: ~13:00)
Seat: 23F

Security, round two. Determined to avoid a repeat of yesterday I carefully take off my belt and place it in my hat along with my iPod to go through the scanner, and step through the arch. But the alarm still goes off. Of course it does - I’ve been so preoccupied with my belt that I actually forget to take all the stuff out my trouser pockets. What a spanner! Five hours of sleep will do that to you.

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They originally told us that the flight was to be delayed until 10am, before deciding to combine us with the 8:30 869. It would have been fine for those of us put up in hotel accommodation to get the 8:30 flight, but of course there was some unspecified number of people who had gone back to their homes who may not have been contactable expecting there to be a 10am flight, so everyone had to wait. Boarding was eventually called, and was again by (strictly enforced) status and row. It was really well handled, and kudos to AC for this. There was some playing of hunt the free space in the overhead, but everyone got on, and we pushed back around the time we expected to. I didn’t bother with a legroom shot as it looked pretty similar to last night.

Meal service was breakfast, and there was a choice of omlette or crepes. I either know too many French or too many pretentious people, as I has no idea what the flight attendant was on about from her North American pronunciation (“crayp”). It was only when she described it as being a bit like a pancake that the penny dropped, and that’s what I opted for. Since it was breakfast, I opted for a soft drink to accompany the meal. It didn’t feel right passing up free booze on a North American carrier, but there you go. Both the crepes and the fruit salad were perfectly acceptable if somewhat uninspiring. The baked goods seemed surprisingly stale.

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The flight passed in a blur of tedium, enlivened somewhat by Air Canada’s excellent AVOD (excellent bar the annoying adverts that appear before every film or show). What was nice in my sleep-deprived befuddlement was a wide range of audio choices (sans adverts), so when my brain found the movies too heavy-going I could just pull up some Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass and doze for a bit.

The pre-arrival snack was nowhere near as nice as it looked, but as it was now the afternoon, I did allow myself to wash it down with some beer at least.

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And before I knew it we were down. That’s the trouble with Air Canada’s IFE when you don’t have a window seat, you don’t get any sense of impending arrival. I was shuffled off to US connections, missing a (Canadian) passport stamp, and did the whole entering the US thing.

Part two: Toronto to Cancún
 

Flight two (Sunday):
AC8111 YYZ-IAH
Canadair CRJ 705 C-FNJZ
Scheduled departure: 15:15 (Actual: 15:20)
Scheduled arrival: 17:45 (Actual: early enough to let me catch my next flight, late enough to make me doubt it)
Seat: 20A

I managed to get through security in good time, and wandered over to the nearest UA/CO desk to try to get a boarding pass for my IAH-CUN flight. Things would be fairly tight in Houston, and I preferred to have one less thing to worry about. The gate agent was very accommodating (I asked nicely, and waited until they weren’t busy), and actually apologised that the BP would be on UA as opposed to CO stock, which I thought very sweet.

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I headed back over to my flights gate and waited for boarding to begin. It looked pretty busy for such a small plane, so I hung back a bit to let the masses get aboard before me. The exit row gave me plenty of legroom, but no window shade. Never mind Ghetto IFE, this called for Ghetto Blinds.

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I was really impressed that AC still provided AVOD on their CRJs, even if the selection was somewhat limited in comparison to the 767 I’d just come off of. At some point there was a meal run, and the vegetarian roll I had was much fresher and tastier than anything I’d had on the flight over from London. I went for the Value Trio meal, which included a small can of Pringles and an alcoholic drink. I initially asked for an Alexander Keith’s, but was told there was none. I then engaged the flight attendant in a conversation as to which beer that was left she would recommend (my actual words were ‘which is least terrible?’), In the absence of any recommendation I eventually plumped for a Bud Light over the Bud on the basis I had never tried it before.

At this point the FA told me to wait a minute, and scurried off back up the front of the aircraft. She returned brandishing a can of Alexander Keith’s that she told me she had snuck out of first class, obviously having taken pity on a poor foreign beer enthusiast. When I’d first asked for a recommendation the response had been “Well, obviously none will be as nice as the beer you get in your country”. I was beginning to warm back to Air Canada. They also appear to have forgotten to charge me for it all, as since then I’ve had two credit card statements with nary a mention of the CAD13 charge for which I have a receipt. I’m unsure if this is AC trying to ‘make good’ for my delays, or if it’s sheer incompetence on their part.

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I don’t remember a great deal about this flight, but there was definitely dozing. We landed at IAH with what felt like plenty of time for my connection, but then started a taxi that seemed like it would take us to downtown Houston. We eventually pulled into the B terminal and I hightailed it over to the (airside) TerminaLink and the E gates, arriving at my specific gate just as they announced boarding for first class and elite. Since this was my first ever free upgrade, that was me, & I made sure I was one of the first on the ‘plane.

Flight three (Sunday):
CO1064 IAH-CUN
Boeing 737-700 (missed reg.)
Scheduled departure: 18:59 (Actual: 19:20)
Scheduled arrival: 21:15 (Actual: So tired. So very tired)
Seat: 1F (2D for dining)

I managed to sneak on the plane without the crew really noticing, so I didn’t have to worry about the etiquette of having my jacket put away for me, & just stuffed it into the overhead myself. The load was really light at less than forty aboard, and myself the sole occupant of first. When the Flight Attendants did notice me they were firstly very apologetic for having missed me, then invited me to consider it my own private cabin. They didn’t consider it private enough to close the curtain to coach, but it was a nice thing to say. They also made sure I got my pre-departure gin & orange.

The meal was quite nice. The soup was really tasty (I think it was minestrone). The salad was about what you’d expect from a US-based carrier. The main, described as chicken parmesan, was tasty enough, but not too healthy-looking. The drinks were not exactly being forced on me, but they were offered. It must have been a pretty difficult balance for the crew with only me there, not to appear too over-attentive. But to be frank I think they were just enjoying the quiet last flight of the day. The FA assigned to the first class cabin solemnly agreed when I noticed that we were beginning our descent that it was too late for me to get another gin & orange, then fetched me through one anyway. I could forgive them anything after that!

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We eventually landed at a pretty much deserted Cancún International Airport, and I made my way through to the empty baggage hall. My bags were X-rayed, and I then ‘won’ at the game-show style immigration point, and was allowed to pass without a secondary inspection to the arrivals hall, which was devoid of all the shysters and hucksters that I’m told are usually there. I quickly got myself into a taxi (had planned on the shuttle, but didn’t fancy the wait) and checked into my hotel, getting to my room a mere 22 hours after setting out from the Novotel.

Part three: Coming home
 

Flight one (Thursday):
CO365 CUN-IAH
Boeing 737-900ER (N53441)
Scheduled departure: 12:09
Scheduled arrival: 14:39
Seat: 1A

Check in was absolutely rammed, and even in the elite line I had quite a bit of waiting to do. When I did eventually get to the front there was a bit of confusion arising from my separate itineraries, and the agent had to write out my luggage ticket by hand. This, coupled with the agents ridiculous (on the face of it) claim that I wouldn’t have to collect and re-check my bag in Houston had me convinced that I’d never see my bag again. Resigned to my fate, I eventually made my way up to, and through, security. It seemed that every woman was having their luggage swabbed for drugs/explosives whereas all the men were given a fairly straightforward passage through to the terminal. I don’t usually bother with airport shots, but couldn’t resist this one. Most of the drugs name-checked are prescription-only in the UK (there was also ‘aspirin’ somewhat incongruously behind the hanging sign).

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That’s it for images on this leg. First at check-in, and then on the flight itself, I found myself next to the spouse of one of the organisers of the conference I’d been attending, so I kept my camera hidden in a bid to appear ‘normal’. This person was very good company, and made the flight pass rather quickly. They were a committed CO flyer, where their partner was a committed UA flyer, and so they travelled separately. If nothing else the merger will be helping this couple fly together in the future!

The flight, including first class, was completely packed. This was during one of the east coast storms this winter, and a lot of people were being re-routed via IAH instead of EWR. One consequence of the full cabin was that the FAs were a lot less shy about topping up our glasses on this flight. The meal service had a seafood chowder that was inedible, and a chicken burrito that was surprisingly tasty. This flight was shortly after Kevincm’s TR Gold Run 2: Blame Canada! had appeared, and I made sure to pay close attention to Jeff Smisek’s eyes during the welcome video. I’m sorry to have to report that he does blink during the video, exactly once. Perhaps he is human after all.

When we got into Houston I was astonished to discover that the desk agent in Cancún had been telling the truth, and I was directed to a special line that led me to reclear security and enter the country, but without having to recheck my luggage. There were special signs and everything, that only looked a little like they were created by the work experience kid using WordArt. Even with quite a queue through security, the whole process took less than an hour, and I was kicking myself for allowing four for the layover. Time eventually ticked on, & I had to gird my loins for the final flight of this trip.

Flight three (Sunday):
CO4 IAH-LHR
Boeing 777-200ER (N79011)
Scheduled departure: 18:35
Scheduled arrival: 09:35
Seat: 17J

There were several calls for people to get their passports checked before boarding began. I had a pretty good seat in the boarding area, so I was trying to ignore them, but they were most insistent that we would not be allowed to board without the checks, and so off I duly trotted. Boarding pass suitably defaced, I went and sat back down for another couple of minutes before joining the queue to board.

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Despite having thought of Continental as ‘my’ airline (well, no-one really wants to admit to Easyjet being ‘their’ airline, do they?) for about five years now, this was my first time on one of their widebodies. Except it wasn’t one of theirs- N79011 was the first Continental vessel to be painted in the hybrid scheme with UNITED titles. The cabin was in the same smart livery as their narrowbodies, but bigger. Duh. I was already impressed with the fact that CO were even able to offer AVOD in their 757s, but the choice on the 777s was much wider. You’d have to be pretty pernickety not to be able to find anything you wanted to watch here. Legroom was adequate, but almost invisible in the attached image. Sorry about that. Obviously I should have taken another photo in the morning, but I was a bit past it by then.

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I burned one of my Continental currency units on a gin & orange during first service, and fired into the IFE. There was a free middle seat, & 17L kept himself to himself once the cabin door was closed (he was on his ‘phone pretty much constantly until then). Seriously, I don’t think he moved from his seat the whole nine hours. He must have a bladder of steel.

Mealtime rolled around, and there was a choice of chicken, or pasta with meatballs. I have a little rule about not taking the pasta, but I’ve broken it a couple of times (on Air France and Air Canada) without disastrous results, and I’d already seen the chicken in Kevincm’s recent TR, so I decided to live dangerously. And it was dangerous. It was every bit as unappetising as it looks, and probably the worst thing I’ve been served on a Continental flight. Although I should point out that I’ve never experienced the infamous Turkey Dog that used to be served on domestic flights from IAH.

*image*

Unlike Kevincm, I did seem to get a crew who seemed to be in the right business, and it was all male in my section of the ‘plane. One of them called everyone ‘mate’, which seemed appropriate enough given the destination, but just sounded really wrong in a non English or Aussie accent. Sorry. It's very small-minded of me, I know.

After the first film I tried to get a bit of sleep, and failed miserably. We all know how much recline we can get in economy, and it’s not conducive to getting a good nights sleep. I came out of this flight with one of the most painful backs I’ve ever experienced. It did leave me wondering if the 757s seats were more comfortable, but I expect the difference actually lies in the flight length. Breakfast appeared some time after I’d given up trying to sleep. I was beyond taking photo’s by this stage, but there’s a representative image on Kevincm’s report.Two important differences, though:

1) I had tea, not coffee
2) The croissant was surprisingly fresh. Probably the best I’d ever had on CO (or maybe the horrible dinner had skewed my taste calibration).

I think either I was delirious by this point, or possibly they bake them all on a Thursday afternoon in Houston, then distribute them through the network as required for the following week.

We landed at Heathrow, and pulled up somewhere in T4. Walking to the border control I was reminder of how nice a terminal this has become (by Heathrow standards) since BA moved out. The fact it’s the only terminal that doesn’t seem to be operating at several multiples of its design capabilities probably helps. If only they could sort out the transport links. IRIS was nowhere to be seen, but that’s no longer any kind of a surprise, and fortunately there was no significant queues at the immigration desks.

With a pretty full BusinessFirst cabin and lots of elites on board, It was quite some time before I saw my bag, and it was some relief when I eventually set eyes on it sliding down the chute. I trundled off to try & reconnect with civilisation (or at least Heathrow central bus station), and will leave you at that point. Thanks for your attention thus far, I would welcome any comments.

Weean.

Thanks for sharing your TR. I really enjoy the style of your writing.

Very nice report. Thanks for the effort.

Light, sarcastic - fantastic. I'll have to have a look at your remaining 99 posts to see if they're also so...hmm cute, too.
Anyway, thanks for a nice break from somewhat bland style exercised sometimes here :-)

Thanks All for your kind words. In defence of other TR writers, it was easy for me to avoid blandness when AC forced me to reorganise my plans so comprehensively on the outbound!

I can laugh about it now. . .

Nice report.

CUN was correct. Houston IAH is one of the few US airports that normally allows same airline checked through int'l baggage and even has an in-transit passport line to the far "west" end of the CBP arrivals hall.

Ahhh. Excellent work Weean.

I do like the GhettoWindowShade. As you've discovered, creativity is the mother of invention.

At it seems you found a IAH crew that actually wanted to be a plane... a good find!

Sometimes, you just have to find the positives in all the bad situations - whilst downgraded to a CRJ-200, at least you made to to CUN.

Nice work again ^