FlyerTalk Forums - An Eggstraordinary Flight: BA Club Europe LHR-MUC (w/ photos)

This flight was taken back in April but I have been too lazy to write up a trip report. And since I'm on holiday right now I thought I'd finally make the effort to write one.

I will try to remember "eggsactly" what transpired....

25 April 2009
BA 950 LHR-MUC
Club Europe
Seat: 2A

I hurried off my Qantas flight from Australia, pushed through the swarms of people who inconveniently seem to occupy too much space at T5 and entered the sanctuary of Galleries South. With less than an hour and a half to spare, I pestered the lady at the Shower Check-In for a time slot telling her my life depended on it. She abruptly said "half an hour" and gave me a vibrator....or at least something that vibrated.

Not knowing what to do with myself, but feeling a little peckish, I honed in on the breakfast buffet for a bite to eat. And what better way of starting the day off than with a Bacon Roll filled with Tomato Sauce. Oh, and a yoghurt too, you know, to balance it out and make it healthy and all.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4001/...b8e68a6b_o.jpg

After a quick check of my emails, a wander around the lounge, and a Campari and OJ down the hatch my jeans started to beep and vibrate. I was being summoned to the showers!

Galleries South
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4049/...e5d9ba45_o.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2679/...eddc9053_o.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2589/...bd951dc8_o.jpg

Shower
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/...072b536d_o.jpg

A long and refreshing shower was followed by a wave of panic as I realised I was cutting it short for my flight. Clothes back on, another Campari and OJ to give me that extra boost of energy for the long walk to the other end of the terminal, and out the sliding glass doors I was!

I got distracted trying to find my gate and ended up in a Duty-Free Store with an English Lady trying to sell me perfume. I obliged, gave her my credit card and scurried off again.

I finally made it to the gate with seconds to spare and stumbled on to the Airbus A319 escorting me to Munich. As I entered the plane, flustered, hair a mess, smelling of 6 different after shaves and carrying three duty-free bags I got some strange looks from the other passengers. I told them to "bugger off" (or in Austrian dialect "schleichts eich") and took my place in 2A. Business class was unfortunately full today (why can't these people fly Easyjet?).

There were some lovely aerial views of T3? and T5 at take-off.

T3?
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4050/...6c399d2d_o.jpg

T5
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4053/...6a503b3e_o.jpg

Now, I ask you, who am I to turn down a Champagne breakfast? While most of the other passengers declined the generous mid-morning offering of alcohol or decided to sleep, I on the other hand indulged myself with three lovely mini-bottles of Pommery. I was going to get my money's worth goddammit!

Here is where it gets eggciting. I opted for the hot breakfast which consisted of Scrambled Eggs, Bacon Rasher, Mushrooms and Sausage with a warm Croissant. Oh, and some healthy stuff called...fruit? The lovely flight attendant confirms my choice and gives me my breakfast tray.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4034/...741769c7_o.jpg

I immediately open my bottle of Pommery to commence proceedings.

Pommery No. 1
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2746/...0a91a3b6_o.jpg

Three minutes and twenty-two seconds later, the FA comes again with a tray of the hot meals. With the tray in one hand and the cheap flimsy tongs in the other, she picks up the eggs, slowly leans over my sleeping-Bavarian seat mate and attempts to place the piping hot meal on the tray. The silly cow decides to twitch her hand, causing the container to slip and plummet to the ground, sending a mountain of hot scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms and oil over my sleeping-Bavarian seat mate, my expensive duffel bag and my jeans.

Startled, my now fully-awake Bavarian seat mate lets out a cry of pain as some of the contents land on his lap while the silly cow starts apologising for her stupidity. I ask her if she is going to buy me a new duffel bag (need a new one anyway). She smiles weakly and retreats back to the galley to get something to clean up the mess.

An Eggy situation in Row 2. Scrambled eggs on the floor and on my expensive duffel bag, AFTER she tried to clean it up.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2783/...b149a160_o.jpg

A few minutes later, after the silly cow composes herself, she comes to me and attempts again (this time with two tongs) to lower the hazardous goods on to my tray. And this time she succeeds. Flight attendants these days I tell you!

Attempt No. 2 a success
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4016/...47e19f78_o.jpg

Anyhooo, the rest of the flight was pleasant, except for a bout of indigestion which I relieved by burping and blowing the fumes towards my 'trying to sleep again Bavarian seat mate'. Is alcohol a good cure for tiredness by the way? I don't know, whatever, it tastes good. We land and I say goodbye to silly cow and she apologises again for her clumsiness.

Munich immigration officers are not the friendliest people in the world and it doesn't help having an Austrian passport and looking Asian. I mumble something in dialect and he lets me through with a grunt. Waited for what seemed like an eternity for my luggage and managed to forget my passport in the toilet cubicle, but a portly American man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and flip flops finds it and chases me down. I abuse him for stealing my passport and his blatant ignorance of fashion sense and wave at the security guards to take him away. Alas, they ignore me, seeming to be more interested in some unmarked box in the corner making a funny noise.

I finally pick up my luggage, leave the airport and take the train back home to Salzburg to tend to my now soiled eggspensive duffel bag...

QFBoy

P.S. Some parts of this trip report MAY or MAY NOT have been eggsaggerated ;)