Useful list of things to say when asked to switch seats
#61
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Egypt NJ
Programs: UA 1K, Hilton Diamond, SPG Plat
Posts: 2,922
Sure, you could be a self-important a$$ hole and say "no thank you" since you did, after all, pay for a seat, reserve that one, and then put your royal bottom on the seat. But one of these days, you'll be flying with a wife or child. You will have reserved two seats next to each other for the two of you. And you will be subject to IRROPS...some terrible weather...and you'll be rebooked. On the next flight. In middle seats. Far, far from one another.
If I ever were to find myself in the situation you describe, it would be my problem to deal with and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. If it was that important to get seats together, I would just have to wait for the next flight on which that was possible.
#62
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: PEK
Programs: A3*G, UA Gold EY Silver
Posts: 8,925
The story was of a passenger in F or J flying, I believe, within or from or to South Africa. Sitting comfortably after boarding, the OP was approached by someone (a FA?) who politely asked, "would you be so kind as to trade seats with this gentleman?" Upon noticing the gentleman on whose behalf the request had been made, the OP instantly rose to his feet and said, "I would be happy to sit outside on the wing, if it would please you, Mr. Mandela."
here's the original post
from this thread
#63
Join Date: Feb 2006
Programs: Delta and NW
Posts: 17
Useful list of things to say when asked to switch seats
This is a true story. We were on a full flight going to the Inauguration and a group of teenagers were on board with their chaperones. The kids weren't in assigned seats, so there was confusion when the kids were in other passengers seats. The kids found their boarding passes and all was well until a black couple with exit row tickets came in and wanted their seats. Two chaperones had wrongly taken the exit row seats, and the stewardess asked the couple if they minded moving to the back of the plane! It reminded me of Rosa Parks.
The couple were cool and said, "but these are our seats" and the chaperones moved to the back of the plane. They were polite, but stood their ground. It's a new day.
The couple were cool and said, "but these are our seats" and the chaperones moved to the back of the plane. They were polite, but stood their ground. It's a new day.
#64
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: UK
Programs: BA EC Gold
Posts: 9,236
This is a true story. We were on a full flight going to the Inauguration and a group of teenagers were on board with their chaperones. The kids weren't in assigned seats, so there was confusion when the kids were in other passengers seats. The kids found their boarding passes and all was well until a black couple with exit row tickets came in and wanted their seats. Two chaperones had wrongly taken the exit row seats, and the stewardess asked the couple if they minded moving to the back of the plane! It reminded me of Rosa Parks.
The couple were cool and said, "but these are our seats" and the chaperones moved to the back of the plane. They were polite, but stood their ground. It's a new day.
The couple were cool and said, "but these are our seats" and the chaperones moved to the back of the plane. They were polite, but stood their ground. It's a new day.
Are you suggesting that the inauguration of Barack Obama kept the couple from being "sent to the back of the plane"? I think you're reading waaaaay too much into this.
#65
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,443
No, I didn't read it that way at all: merely that it was an interesting little twist, that's all, given what was happening that day.
#66
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
Programs: MR/SPG LT Titanium, AA LT PLT, UA SLV, Avis PreferredPlus
Posts: 30,959
Depending on the situation I would choose either:
"Yes, I'd be glad to" or
"No thank you, I'd rather not".
Those choices have always managed to serve every situation I've run into.
"Yes, I'd be glad to" or
"No thank you, I'd rather not".
Those choices have always managed to serve every situation I've run into.
#68
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: (not Montana. Nor is my name really Helena, nor am I female)
Programs: Delta, USAirways, Starwood, Priority Club, Marriott, Amex
Posts: 2,557
#69
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Houston
Programs: CO-Gold
Posts: 127
The worst is when you are dealing with a family that's scattered all over the plane, and re-arrangement is a veritable Rubik's cube of shuffling about. Or when you are dealing with a small child (who really should sit with parents) and if you don't trade, you look like the meanie. But definitely, trades should happen in favor of the person being asked.
#70
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Newport Beach, California, USA
Posts: 36,062
The worst is when you are dealing with a family that's scattered all over the plane, and re-arrangement is a veritable Rubik's cube of shuffling about. Or when you are dealing with a small child (who really should sit with parents) and if you don't trade, you look like the meanie.
#71
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 24
Rude FA
Here is how I think airlines ought to handle this, ideally (and I know that taking the extra time might be a problem.)
Seat switches should be made only by an FA. If someone wants to switch seats with someone else, they'll ask the FA, and the FA will attempt to arrange a switch such that the person being asked to switch ends up with a more desirable seat. If that can't be done, then there will be no switch.
Seat switches should be made only by an FA. If someone wants to switch seats with someone else, they'll ask the FA, and the FA will attempt to arrange a switch such that the person being asked to switch ends up with a more desirable seat. If that can't be done, then there will be no switch.
#72
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: US
Programs: DL GE
Posts: 1,654
A lot of people will say to a family, just sit separate, the the recent UA flight reminds us why that is not always a great idea. If you are sitting next to someones child and refuse to change seats and the person who the parent is sitting next to refuses to change seats, if something happens, are you going to make sure that child is safe?
Just something to think about...
As far as adult requests, I don't switch unless its equal or better. No I am not going to give you my exit seat because you are tall. No, I am not giving you this bulkhead seat so you can sit next to your brother, why doesn't your brother move in back? Oh it's because you want the better seats, no thanks.
As far as I go, traveling with family, I would never except someone else to move for us. If we got split up, we would hang out for the next flight, or spend another night to make sure we were seated next to each other.
Just something to think about...
As far as adult requests, I don't switch unless its equal or better. No I am not going to give you my exit seat because you are tall. No, I am not giving you this bulkhead seat so you can sit next to your brother, why doesn't your brother move in back? Oh it's because you want the better seats, no thanks.
As far as I go, traveling with family, I would never except someone else to move for us. If we got split up, we would hang out for the next flight, or spend another night to make sure we were seated next to each other.
#73
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: AZO, SRQ
Programs: DL PM
Posts: 311
My response depends on the situation and how I'm approached, as I've been in the position where I've asked someone to switch with me. I was taking my then 8 year old nephew to Boston and there was a mixup in our seat assignments. I ended up in 21B, he was in 22 A. I didn't just plop myself next to him....I waited until the others seated in 21A and 22B arrived and then asked nicely if one of them would kindly trade.
I will typically trade for an equivalent seat, such as 2B for 2C. Now, if someone parks themself in my aisle seat up front and wants me to trade with them and take their middle seat in the back of the plane....my usual response is a laugh, followed with "nice try, please move so that I don't need to call the flight attendant to have you removed".
I will typically trade for an equivalent seat, such as 2B for 2C. Now, if someone parks themself in my aisle seat up front and wants me to trade with them and take their middle seat in the back of the plane....my usual response is a laugh, followed with "nice try, please move so that I don't need to call the flight attendant to have you removed".
#74
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Newport Beach, California, USA
Posts: 36,062
A lot of people will say to a family, just sit separate, the the recent UA flight reminds us why that is not always a great idea. If you are sitting next to someones child and refuse to change seats and the person who the parent is sitting next to refuses to change seats, if something happens, are you going to make sure that child is safe?
Just something to think about...
As far as I go, traveling with family, I would never except someone else to move for us. If we got split up, we would hang out for the next flight, or spend another night to make sure we were seated next to each other.
#75
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Berlin and Buggenhagen, Germany
Posts: 3,509
It really depends on the situation. I'd be readier to move for someone sitting with a small child (less than 12 years old) but would ask how they or the airline managed to screw up the seat assignments in the first place. This would make it clear that I am doing them a favor and it would be nice to receive something in return. E.g. at least a somewhat better seat.
Also if my seat is not great anyway or if it was a short flight (less than 4 hours) I would not be selfish and just do them the favor.
I'd also insist to be with my hand luggage because it will bother EVERYBODY else when I (or the person who asked for my seat) need to go against the stream upon leaving the plane.
If the seat change involved an upgrade to Business or First, you betcha, I'll gladly help you out.
A little anthropological note:
I think (while not being entirely unselfish in my decision process) a lot of people on this thread are anal control freaks with a severe and unjustified sense of entitlement and a small spirit who just jump at the chance to stick it to somebody for the sheer gratification of their egos. It is the other side of the coin in the US where a ton of people will go really out of their way to help a stranger and ask for nothing in return. In Europe both kinds of extreme behaviors are rarer.
A note on etiquette:
To just say "No, thank you!" is indeed rude and to pretend otherwise really is no good sign for someone's character or intelligence (to put it mildly). "No, thank you" is reserved for when somebody offers you something graciously, like a hot tea. It is not to be used when somebody asks for a favor as in this case. Asking for a favor implies a lowering of the asker and concedes power to the person asked. Saying NTY is demeaning and lowers the asker even further. It is hypocritical and almost mocking the asker because you are not being offered something but being asked something. Thus it is also semantically incorrect, hence my comment on intelligence.
The correct way to refuse granting the favor is to say something like: "I am sorry (that I cannot help you), but I'd rather stay in my seat."
This is the bare minimum. It would be better to indeed give a reason or offer some other kind of help, for example relocating luggage, in order to be civil and human. While those who refuse might say that they would never ask such a thing themselves and thus (do unto others...) have the reciprocal right to refuse, there is also the categorical imperative stating that your way of acting should be desirable as the basis for a universal law. In the western world (and in other worlds even more so) charity, unselfishness and helping people are higher values than insisting on your "rights" or convictions in a small case like the exchange of seats.
Also if my seat is not great anyway or if it was a short flight (less than 4 hours) I would not be selfish and just do them the favor.
I'd also insist to be with my hand luggage because it will bother EVERYBODY else when I (or the person who asked for my seat) need to go against the stream upon leaving the plane.
If the seat change involved an upgrade to Business or First, you betcha, I'll gladly help you out.
A little anthropological note:
I think (while not being entirely unselfish in my decision process) a lot of people on this thread are anal control freaks with a severe and unjustified sense of entitlement and a small spirit who just jump at the chance to stick it to somebody for the sheer gratification of their egos. It is the other side of the coin in the US where a ton of people will go really out of their way to help a stranger and ask for nothing in return. In Europe both kinds of extreme behaviors are rarer.
A note on etiquette:
To just say "No, thank you!" is indeed rude and to pretend otherwise really is no good sign for someone's character or intelligence (to put it mildly). "No, thank you" is reserved for when somebody offers you something graciously, like a hot tea. It is not to be used when somebody asks for a favor as in this case. Asking for a favor implies a lowering of the asker and concedes power to the person asked. Saying NTY is demeaning and lowers the asker even further. It is hypocritical and almost mocking the asker because you are not being offered something but being asked something. Thus it is also semantically incorrect, hence my comment on intelligence.
The correct way to refuse granting the favor is to say something like: "I am sorry (that I cannot help you), but I'd rather stay in my seat."
This is the bare minimum. It would be better to indeed give a reason or offer some other kind of help, for example relocating luggage, in order to be civil and human. While those who refuse might say that they would never ask such a thing themselves and thus (do unto others...) have the reciprocal right to refuse, there is also the categorical imperative stating that your way of acting should be desirable as the basis for a universal law. In the western world (and in other worlds even more so) charity, unselfishness and helping people are higher values than insisting on your "rights" or convictions in a small case like the exchange of seats.