On a lighter note...
 

NOTE: If there's already a thread for this kind of topic, I hope one of the mods will do me the favor of consolidating this to it. :)

With things looking less than rosy nowadays with rising fuel costs, grumbling airline employees and so on, I think it is nice to take the time to find...the more humorous things in life...while flying.

Current personal favorite occurrence happened a few days ago on a trip back from NRT via DFW and then home to SAN.

Flight Attendant (on DFW): (to another Flight Attendant) You know, I always need to have the paper in front of me when I make announcements.

Flight Attendant 2: Why is that?

Flight Attendant: Well, don't you sometimes get the feeling that while you make announcements, your mind starts to wander and pretty soon you realize you are talking about what you're going to make for dinner later in the evening and by then...it's too late!

Flight Attendant 2: I totally understand what you mean.

Not completely word for word, but I think the meaning is clear. :)

Anyone else have amusing stories to tell or strange things overheard on the plane?

And on an entirely different note, the plane home actually had mechanical problem (MD-80...oh no!) and required a switch. Not only was it Friday the 13th, but apparently MANY, MANY people in First (and probably in Economy) were trying to make it for Tiger Wood's tee-off over at Torrey Pines so there were a lot of angry golf enthusiasts on the plane. As for me...I just wanted to go home and sleep. ._.

I know when I'm making PAs, I do have to read from the PA Book. Just like the conversation that was over heard above, I start thinking about something and before I know it, I have no idea what I'm talking about over the inter-phone.

I find it much easier to read from the PA Book. They slightly change the wording from time to time, so I always want to make sure I get the right info passed out. I do make my own changes to better phrase something...I mean come on, how many times do we need to say the word "mask" during the O2 demo?:D

I have been told (I don't believe it) that I make very good PAs. Maybe it's because I read it?

Having had the pleasure of being on one of your flights, I can attest, you have an excellent delivery.

We were coming home on Monday 6-16 on a delayed flight from LGA-BOS. Flight after us had been canceled so ours was full. Alot of people were grumbling (apparently they think delays are new at LGA :)) The male FA was making his announcements and started out with "Welcome aboard, our flight time to BOS will be 3 hours 35 minutes and 42 seconds, weather in BOS is 85 degrees and sunny (it was cool and rainy) and then went on with the safety demo and had some fun with that also. He tried to make another announcement and kept tripping over his words, finally he said "oh yeah, we have this on the CD and proceeded to play that. He was amusing and some of us that were actually listening had a few laughs.

One of the funniest announcements I heard was during an MR last year from 0RD-LAX. They was a young male FA who, at the end of the announcements, would say 'member....of....the....one......world............ ....alliance....alliance'. The alliance part was very dramatic and he deepened his voice. For whatever reason, I get a chuckle out of that. :)

Since I flew MSP-ORD a lot, out of curiosity I decided to search yahoo images for sluggo's pic and this is what was returned.

http://images.search.yahoo.com/searc...p=mss&ei=UTF-8

Is the third guy you?

+1 ^ :)

On an Air Canada flight a couple of years ago from YYZ, after landing the FA said "Be careful when opening the overhead storage bins because during landing shift happens".

A few years ago on WN, I heard a FA improve the oxygen mask announcement by saying:

"If you're traveling with a small child, or somebody who is acting like one,..."

I've had that guy before too, on DFW-BOS back in Feb of 2007. I seem to recall that he also commented that the flight was sponsored by Strickland Propane, in a Hank Hill voice.

Way off topic, but there's a green line conductor in Boston who makes amusing announcements, if you ever have the fortune. Reminding riders not to forget items left behind, including bags and small children and the like.

WN FA announcement:

Put your masks on before your children. If you have more than on child, you will find out which one you love the most.

Some years ago on a United flight from somewhere I forget, landing at IAD. We taxiied up to the gate and had to wait a few minutes for the gate crew. When they finally showed up, they actually bonked the jetbridge into the plane. Not hard enough to cause damage, I think, but enough to rock it. When they opened the doors, the FA came on the PA and said something like "Now that we've safely arrived in Washington Dulles, with no help from the gate crew, we'd like to welcome you..."

On a UA flight a couple of years back had the FA announce upon arrival:

"Ladies & Gentlemen, we have just landed at what our Captain thinks is Chicago O'hare. If it indeed turns out to be Chicago, the local time is..."

"To enhance the attractiveness of your crew, we will now be dimming the cabin lights." On F9.

I know one FA who says in the safety briefing that if you don't know how the seatbelt works, you shouldn't be allowed out in public - and then says that if she catches anyone smoking, she'll kill them. The thing is, people actually listen to her announcements. I always tried to sit at the emergency exit for infinite legroom, so I had to know how to open the emergency exit. This FA actually explained how to do it. On most aircraft you're just told to read the card, which noone ever does.

During the safety demonstration, when the FA got to the part about the oxygen masks said "In the case of loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. We ask that you stop screaming and then tug firmly on the mask." It totally caught me off guard.

On a jetBlue flight to Fort Myers:

"Welcome aboard flight 711 to San Juan, Puerto Rico."

[Long Pause]

"And now that I have your attention, I will begin the safety briefing ... "

After a particularly rough landing (instead of "Welcome to city XYZ, where the local time is..."), we heard:

(completely deadpan) "We're here. Obviously."

Can't remember the specifics but once after a slightly bumpy landing the PA announcement was "Once Captain Kangaroo has got us to the gate.."

G-day All,
During the early days of Virgin Blue ( DJ ) The FA said during the safety demo " we have a mouth piece for extra inflation and a whistle and light to attract the sharks". Most of us had a good laugh.:eek:

enjoy your day, Ray

Was on a flight once where the announcement went like this after one of those where you're wondering on which side the aircraft will hit the tarmac:

"Welcome to <forgot where>. Civil aviation regulations require our pilots to make a certain number of automated landings each year <pause>. As I'm sure you have figured out, this wasn't one of them".

I think it was a DL flight:

"If you don't know how to use a seat belt buckle by now, you need to get a life."

And if I am seated in the exit row, I do look at the emergency exit door to check if it is "move the lever to the side," or "lift up the red handle." I don't read the card, though, I'll admit.

Virginblue:
Please shut off your mobile phones. If you don't know how to do it please aks any of the children around.

Still makes me laugh....

Not an announcement, but on a flight a year or so ago (DL I think) a FA unrolled a long line of toilet paper in the aisle of the plane, put one end in the toilet, then flushed. Of course the paper went shooting up the aisle and disappeared. I just thought it was pretty strange at the time, but she seemed to be really enjoying herself.

I was just listening to a podcast called "Betty in the sky with a suitcase" made by an FA who I believe to be from DL who described how she did this exact same thing. I think she said she was going to HNL and the eppisoded was made a little over a year ago. I wonder if it was her.

BTW here is the link to the podcast, it is quite funny. http://betty.libsyn.com/

This was a long time ago...

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a great plane, a great captain and a great day for flying...what we don't have is a great flight crew.

We thank you for your patience."

They were missing the FA's...if my memory serves me correctly. It might have been the captain, but I really do think it was the flight crew.

Like I said, it was a long time ago. There was a great chuckle throughout the waiting area.

good ones....
 

Years ago, on one of those 105+ degree days in OKC, I was on WN OKC-DAL and the F/A who was doing the safety briefing paused after "in the unlikely event of a water landing..." and said "Yeah right, we'd pay good money for a pilot who could find water between here and Dallas" He then instructed us in an energy saving sidestroke to use until we reached the edge of the hot tub we must have landed in.