Not my experience, but I remember laughing out loud when I read it:

http://www.tripso.com/archives/2006/11/senator.html

"The senator was the last to board the flight. I was a passenger in the first class seat next to him...

Before the meal service, a man from the economy section brought his 6-year-old son up to meet the great man.

“Hey, sonny, what do you want to be when you grow up?” asked the slightly inebriated lawmaker as he patted the boy on his head.

“I want to be a pilot or a senator just like you.”

“Well, you’d better stay in school or else you may end up being a flight attendant instead,” he said.

I almost choked on an ice cube.

This is clearly a guy who needs to watch what he says. Besides, he hadn’t eaten yet, and a flight attendant working the flight overheard the comment. I pondered the path his entree would take before it got to him.

We continued chatting through another cocktail. The pilot came out of the cockpit to use the lavatory. She was pretty, black and fairly young. I looked at the senator’s face and saw the scowl appear.

“You see that pilot?” he asked me, leaning closer. “The only reason she is up there is because of affirmative action.” ...

“So what do you do for a living?”

“Actually, I am a flight attendant,” I replied.

He began to stir in his seat and I could tell he was getting uncomfortable.

“And the pilot,” I added, “is my wife.”

She wasn’t, but that ended the conversation. It was the first time I had seen a politician at a loss for words."

This particular author is a flight attendant, and his wife IS a pilot, just not the one that was on that flight. I thought it was hilarious :)

You win.

I'm not sure if the other passenger was the awkward commenter or I was:

I was flying in C, in an aisle seat, in the midst of a group of investment banking types (one to my right, two to my left, two in front) in a small cabin. They were sharing notes and talking fairly loudly about a presentation they were planning to make to a client regarding a proposed takeover. At some point, one of them made a crack about whether everyone had made the trades they needed to make to take advantage of the inside information they held regarding the upcoming deal.

A little while later, during the dinner service, Mr. Cute Investment Banker sitting beside me starts to chat and asks me what I do for a living. I said, "I work for the securities regulatory authority; I specialise in market abuse and insider dealing. Do you have a business card?" He almost spat his wine out all over his tray table."

LOL! Do you really do that for a living, or were you just able to deliver the
line? Either way, it's hilarious. Reminds me of that radio commercial where
they have everyone repeat a singing phrase, and they have "everyone
who cheated on your taxes" and people sing...and then "all the IRS agents"
and people sing...and then "everyone who cheated on your taxes, again"
and it's silent....

--LG

I was on a CRJ with terrible turbulence on the ascent. We were all over the place and I was starting to feel nauseous which I never usually do. The woman seated next to me decided to tell me how she was on her way to see her mother who is dying. I said I was sorry to hear that and she went on to give me details while staring at me the whole time wanting sympathetic responses. I put on headphones and she kept talking to me, staring the whole time.

Yes, at the time, I really was working for a securities regulatory authority and specialising in market abuse / insider dealing (discouraging it or spotting it, of course, not engaging in it).

That reminds me of a domestic flight in China a few years ago. I too was feeling sick, and the guy next to me told me about the snake he had had for dinner the previous evening, and how they would squeeze the animal to get the blood and serve it as well...

absolutely brilliant!
 

I wish I had a selection of business cards printed up for prime opportunites like this! What a hoot!

This week, when my seemingly "normal" seatmate in F proposed that I join him in the bathroom for entry to the "mile high club" (after we'd been chatting about his wife and family amongst other everyday topics).

As if he would be so irresistible for a (non-drunk) stranger to take him up on his offer, and that the knowledge that he was married would make him even more irresistible??! :rolleyes:

Great post by Gre......the OP!

Ewwwwwww! There are few things worse than being seated next to a lecher -- it's like being chained to a barstool beside a delusional Romeo. :td:

What an excellent post! I laughed out loud at several of these.:D ^

Fiirst words of the lady who sat down next to me: "Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

14hr flight on MH EWR-DXB a couple years back

A middle aged Arab man sitting next to me

ME: What do you do in the UAE
HIM: I breed camels.
ME: Interesting...
HIM: If you want to buy a camel, we can ship them worldwide...
ME: ooook
HIM: *dead serious hands me his business card*

I never did buy a camel tho but if anyone is interested, I still have his card

I was sat next to two young Mormon missionaries. Well, they were about three years younger than me. They were very chatty (amongst themselves) and we basically kept to ourselves.

Suddenly they started talking to me. Small talk at first. After about two minutes, the guy looked at my funny and said, "Have you found God yet?" I replied, barely even thinking, "Why? Have you misplaced Him?" He was not amused, and I was pretty embarressed (at first).

My brother calls it my first (and probably last) Churchill moment.