Travel Depression
 

I must start off and say, i'm definately not the happiest person back home in Upstate NY, but who really is -- i'm like the "normal" person, fine, but of course there are things that stay in your mind and make you worry and think.

Since I arrived in Japan, besides my well discussed fear of getting lost, thus hindering my discovery of Japan, I've been pretty happy -- untill today. It's almost been a week that i've been out here and it's as if suddenly a huge weight has been put on my back and i've run into a brick wall. I was talking to someone earlier and they mentioned that any trip over a couple days long HAS to be taken with a companion or else it really gets to you -- maybe that is it. Maybe it's the longing to discover Japan but my fear of being lost hinders this. But I think it's the loneliness -- we all need to have someone to hold...be close to. Maybe it's just homesickness....

I really wish I could pinpoint this -- I do hope that this feeling subsides and does not intensify itsself. I could go on and on about this subject but do not want to risk boring all you so I will go straight to the question.

Has anyone else experianced this "travel depression" and if so, how do you cope with it when you are by yourself, homesick and can't even hear the voice of the people close to you or the person you love and surrounded by people you cannot communicate with.....?

Thanks in advance.

I haven't been to Tokyo, but I wanted you to get at least one answer. I hope you are feeling better.

When I was thinking of going to Japan (haven't made it yet), I found there are Japanese university students who want to be your guide (for free) just so they can practice their English. No doubt you would like to talk to a friend or someone you know, but maybe you could connect with one of these young people.

If afraid of getting lost, what if you budget (I know it's a ridiculous price) as necessary for a cab ride back to your hotel (and carry a hotel address card with you)?

For a solution that some might consider ridiculous, how about staying at a hostel? Then you would meet Westerners in a friendly setting and you might find someone to go on outings with. Or maybe you could even just visit one without staying there. There has to be some place to meet fellow Westerners.

How long are you in Japan for?

I've had it a few times, and how I respond depends on what I am doing and where I am. Sometimes I just shut out the world - I get room service, or visit a local shop and then vegetate in my room all evening, with a good book, music, or something good (if there is anything) on the tv. Sometimes calling home helps, sometimes it makes it worse. If I listen to music, I have a group of cds which I know cheer me up.

My other reaction is to get very busy - I try/visit something new, so that I'm too busy worrying about getting there and doing the tourist thing. And very often the new sights and sounds do envigorate me again. Or I try and just enjoy where I am - so in Tokyo, look at everything that is Japanese and unfamiliar, and appreciate the fact that I am able to be there to experience these and my friends are very jealous of me :)

I've always found it a mood thing, and if I can break the mood, it will pass. Best of luck!

You aren't alone in having those feelings: I travel by myself a lot and have felt exactly the same at times. As I suspect WillTravel was suggesting, the isolation can come in large part from not chatting with people -- as much as one enjoys independence and solitude, it can be really important to interact with others. For me, the situation tends to be worst when I'm in a country like Japan where few people can converse with me. After a while, I really have a need to hear a person with whom I can can have any sort of conversation (listening to CNN or BBC World just doesn't do the trick).

Also, I find Tokyo to be just about the most daunting big city on earth. It is hard to find your way around, and it is easy to be come disoriented. The only saving grace is that Japanese people seem to be universally willing to try to help a lost gaijin. Also, if you do get lost, there is zero chance that you'll inadvertently walk into a dangerous neighborhood.

If there's anyone back home that you chat with regularly, give that person a phone call. Sure, it'll cost you a few bucks, but it would be fun for both you and him/her just to say hello. If the hotel you're staying at has a nice lounge or bar, you might want to have a drink there and chat up someone who's there, especially someone who wouldn't take it as some sort of come-on. It wouldn't be surprising at all if another Western solo traveler would appreciate a chance to gab for a while.

Agreed, it is more fun to travel with someone you know and like, but it is not a prerequisite for having a good time. And sometimes it can be an advantage. For example, if you have a specific interest or hobby which your travel companion doesn't, you don't have to negotiate where you go and what you do. So, think of your interests and hobbies, and what you'd like to see, and just set yourself the objective of doing exactly that.

If you like baseball, think of going to a game in Japan, put your mind to the task, finding out about where to get tickets, game times, how to get to the stadium, and then just go. My general attitude to travel is that even if you end up hating the place, it is always interesting.

If you like trains, just head to Tokyo station and get on a Shinkansen out west. Pick a major station an hour's ride away or so and just get on the train and ride it. Enjoy the ride. When you get to your destination, just buy a ticket back. That should take you a big chunk of the day, and the experience of hurtling along at 200 miles per hour is pretty memorable.

Hear hear. The "Lost in Translation" approach. Actually, I'd recommend putting on some clean presentable duds, going to the Park Hyatt in Shinjuku, and just splurging on the cover charge and a drink. Sit at the bar, and just lay low for a couple of hours. You will find many a kindred spirit in the same boat, and it might even end up paying off if you play your cards right.

I've had that, too, and it always happened when traveling alone. Suddenly I just wanted to be "teleported" back home for awhile to the streets I knew, the shops where I could speak English, etc. It usually passed in a day and I hope yours does, too.

Keep in mind that it usually takes a day to recoiver from jet lag for each time zone you've crossed so your body isn't back to normal yet. I agree with the advice to find a place where people speak English- a hostel or whatever- and you might be able to find someone who's been there for awhile and who has a better sense of direction than you. (Boy, I can relate to that- from what I've read, Japan is bad for the directionally-challenged.) Also- are the subway stops close enough that you can use the subway system to find your way back? If you find a subway station when you get lost, at least there's a definite route back to your hotel.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing. You'll come out of this feeling stronger.

This is a common phenomenon. If you are new to traveling alone for more than a day or two at a time, and find solo travelers' depression or disorientation recurring with another trip or two, you may just decide solo travel is not for you, and instead could plan future travel with a companion or flexible tour groups. Some people just can't handle the sound of their own breathing for too long a time, because it forces them to look inward, and also heightens their ability to observe other disturbing things in the surrounding environment that you might not notice if chatting with a friend. Much as I enjoy traveling with others, I also enjoy my solo trips and the intensity of thought that they generate.

Things that help with the feelings of travelers depression, disorientation, loneliness:

1. Sign up for a city or excursionary small group sightseeing tour with a day or half-trip tour company based out of an American hotel. You'll meet English-speaking guides, and likely other Americans or English speakers you can chat with or share insights with in English, and sometimes even go to dinner with.

2. Plan in advance how you're going to get around (like how to ride the local Tokyo subway), especially if on a tight budget where you can't just hop a cab whenever you want (or there are no cabs) -- guidebooks with specific information, insiders tip books, FT, locations of American or English clubs or bars or hangouts for a break.

3. Carry a cell phone from home, or rent one there, if you need to make an emergency call (to home or your hotel), or if you just want to hear someone's voice instantly . Know how to use it in advance. Send/read lots of e-mail (including FT!).

4. Get lots of exercise and plenty of sleep, limit alcohol and mind-altering substances.

5. Keep a journal -- write down your observations and thoughts at the end of (or during) the day. Look around, there is always something interesting or a possible story behind a particular face or sight, or speculate what the story might be. Or write a little poem, it doesn't matter how bad you think it is. Find an English language bookstore (plan in advance) and hang out there, or go to English movies.

6. If nothing works, ask yourself why you're there in the first place. If it is to try and make your problems from home better by escaping to a distant land, you won't be successful. Go home and work on the problems.

In my experience, the worst part of this feeling is that it's compounded by guilt at not doing what you "should" be doing or feeling what you "should" be feeling in a foreign country. I like what the person above suggested about room service/cable TV and other comforts like that. Work toward getting out there and exploring but don't beat yourself up about it. Just do what you need to do at the moment to feel good and, most likely, the rest will pass.

Although I am usually entertained when traveling, I think any hotel room, no matter how luxurious, can cause depression after a while. I open windows (if possible) and try to feel the atmosphere of the place, and then if I have time I go walk around. The particular problem in Tokyo is a language one as well.

I have done a lot of single travel, including three months in Switzerland long ago, and I have experienced depressions such as you are experiencing. They never lasted for long, at least for me. Hopefully, yours will pass soon as well.

The above suggestion of keeping a journal is an excellent one. Or, as I often do, write long detailed letters to friends or family telling them about what you have been doing. While out sightseeing, I'm thinking about how I will describe my day's experiences in my journal (or letters) that evening when I get back to the hotel. I have discovered that, for me, the long lonely evenings in the hotel room are what tend to trigger my bouts of sadness, and the time spent writing takes my mind off that, helps the time to pass more quickly, and reminds me of the travel experiences I had that day.

Another method that always worked for me, perhaps because I enjoy photography, is to take pictures of your surroundings. When I am doing this, I pay much more attention to where I am and what I'm seeing, and I am busy thinking about which angles, etc., are best for capturing a certain subject on film rather than thinking about being homesick.

As mentioned earlier, it seems to be a mood thing with me as well, and breaking that mood, focusing on other things, is what does the trick.

Great thread. I travel to AMS anywhere from 1-3 times a year. About 1/2 thew time without the MRS. Now I never asked anyone about this but I always got depressed the first day or two when I was by myself. I always assumed that it was just "me".

Good to know it is not an unusual occurance. By day 2 or 3 I am good to go and enjoying myself. Although those "mind altering substances" can be a problem in AMS.

By the time to return home I am depressed again...only this time because I have to leave.


Doc

"Lost in Translation" comes to mind when reading this thread. Clearly there were other things going on in that film, but I think that the language barrier can add to the "blues".

I must be odd. I love solo exploring (I think I got the bug while growing up - the adults in my life didn't go anywhere. If I wanted to see something, I had to find it on my own).

That being said, have the family you are staying with write a note for you that says "I'm lost and don't speak Japanese" along with the city/train station and line where they live. That way, if you get lost, you can whip out the note and someone will direct you in the right direction. I have a pretty good sense of direction, so navagating Tokyo was no problem. My relatives would freak out when I wanted to go somewhere on my own. You can not get lost on the trains.

Relating to what Pickles said, go and find what interests you. Don't be afraid to venture out on your own - you'll find the true sense of the people in back alleys and in small towns.

Don't let your anxieties get the best of your trip. Go out, explore and have fun. If you get lost, so what? You may make some new friends.

"Lost in Translation": Silly People
 

The characters in LIT seemed rather silly. In Tokyo, a multimillion person city, and nothing to do?

How about....going outside and walking around the block in the sunshine?

Or, going to the Hard Rock Cafe if you want something American?

Or. one of millions of things.

Personally, I enjoy avoiding the hassles of having to cater to the wishes of another individual....and have seen too many people wasting time or fighting because they can't quite agree on what they want to do.