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Qantas maintenance logs

Qantas maintenance logs

Old Aug 22, 02, 12:04 pm
  #1  
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Qantas maintenance logs

Haven't seen this here before, thought the community might enjoy...


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for
the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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Old Aug 22, 02, 12:23 pm
  #2  
 
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by j379pa:

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
</font>
Not quite. Not only did they have a 747-400 go seriously off the end of the runway at Bangkok a few years ago (it ws a real toss-up as to whether it was repairable) but they have been about for so long as to have had some mishaps back in the prop days. Which is not to say that they are other than a thoroughly competent airline regarding safety.

However, there are quite a number of major airlines that do not seem to have had even an incident. Virgin Atlantic springs to mind, for example.

[This message has been edited by WHBM (edited 08-22-2002).]
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Old Jul 27, 08, 11:04 am
  #3  
 
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Qantas Maintenance Logs

It is an urban legend that Qantas has never had any crashes or accidents. They have had a number of crashes, some of which resulted in fatalities. I have a list of 19 Qantas crashes, and I will be glad to send it to anyone interested. Ken Sanford - kaerophil(a)gmail.com
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Old Jul 27, 08, 11:11 am
  #4  
 
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Originally Posted by WHBM View Post
Not quite. Not only did they have a 747-400 go seriously off the end of the runway at Bangkok a few years ago (it ws a real toss-up as to whether it was repairable) but they have been about for so long as to have had some mishaps back in the prop days. Which is not to say that they are other than a thoroughly competent airline regarding safety.

However, there are quite a number of major airlines that do not seem to have had even an incident. Virgin Atlantic springs to mind, for example.

[This message has been edited by WHBM (edited 08-22-2002).]
Originally Posted by aerophil View Post
It is an urban legend that Qantas has never had any crashes or accidents. They have had a number of crashes, some of which resulted in fatalities. I have a list of 19 Qantas crashes, and I will be glad to send it to anyone interested. Ken Sanford - kaerophil(a)gmail.com
The way I have heard it said is that QF has never had a jet crash with fatalities. Their disgruntled "engineers" seem to be hell-bent on changing that. (I always say engineers in quotation marks because QF seems to use that word to describe people who would otherwise be called "mechanics" - not people with engineering degrees.)
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Old Jul 27, 08, 12:11 pm
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I'm not sure these notes came from a Qantas maintainance log- I've seen these notes sent around the internet for years and they've been attributed to several different airlines. Still, it doesn't change the fact that they are fun to read.
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Old Jul 27, 08, 12:30 pm
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http://flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292320
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Old Jul 27, 08, 3:43 pm
  #7  
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For those wishing to discuss the recent QF fuselage tear incident over the Pacific, please do so in the growing thread in our Qantas forum here. I'll close this TravelBuzz thread. Ocn Vw 1K, Moderator, TravelBuzz.
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