Spying a obscure LatinPass logo on Guy's briefcase, he approches the man and begins a conversation about some of the worst frequent traveler programs.....

...when a stern woman named Beata marched in...

Beata is a Lakers fan, and had just come from the Yardhouse with newself & essxjay, where they watched the Blazers whip the Lakers for the second time in 2 weeks. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Beata was for that game THE special guest in stimpy's lounge!

With no discrimination she belted out, "Hey, you guys wanna see my tattoo?!" and she commenced rolling up her sleeve to reveal a massive bicep and a mountainous shoulder upon which was carved a very colorful United logo.

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Life is a book. Never travel and you're reading just one page.

"Wow Beata", I proclaimed, "You are a beergirl!" then wake up to realize that the Lakers lost, Essxjay was collecting bets from the bar, and I had a massive headache!

Meanwhile, back in the 1K center at IAD, kokopuffs and auh20 were rolling their new "angel" for ...

Free Drink Coupons.

(OMNI to Wander-writer: way cool line man!)

Later while Auh20 and Kokopuffs were crushed that the drink coupons had an expirary date of December 31, 1999 http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/frown.gif Catman and wanderlust found an envelope at the RCC lounge addressed to the Cat saying "A very SPecial Birthday Gift for you, CATMAN>"

In marched the crazy Canadians, but one had switchered her sombrero for a "Cat-in-the-hat" Hat.

Oh Sombrero Sombrero, wherefore art thou Sombrero?

SOMBRARO is doing the Mexican-Hat-Dance with Bill Clinton , trying to get an upgrade on Air Force One!

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MRKEY

Upgrade to "Monica-class"

This is quite possibly the funniest thread on FT yet that I have read...

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

This class of service includes many benefits that cannot be found on other carriers.

Such as free cigars!

... as long as nobody smokes them ...

Meanwhile Bill was looking for an onboard pool table..Sombrero found the secret stash of Tequila and Monica got upgraded to the FC Besty Beds while the FA was collecting DNA samples for O.J

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MRKEY

FOLKS: Shouldn't we keep this thread focused on FLYERTALKERS! and not alleged celebrities whose 15 minutes ran out a year ago?

THANK YOU!

Now getting back to our tail:

Back at the Yardhouse, Newself woke up with a big sombrero on his head and a $1250 bar tab -- he bought drinks on the house several times -- and asked essxjay if she had any spare cash.




[This message has been edited by Catman (edited 01-01-2001).]

Catman later confessed to Rudi, that Bill himself did ask him to step forward and make the above post.

Meanwhile, Catman and Wanderlust discovered the envelope contained two round trip coach tickets on United on Flight 1 that were due to expire in 24 hours.

'in coach'

I can't believe that somebody hates Wanderlust and Catman so much to 'give' them a 'coach trip' only!

[This message has been edited by Rudi (edited 01-01-2001).]

Yes but the coach trip turned out to be a RTW upgradable with drink coupons!

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MRKEY

They were very excited and about to board the brand new 777 when it was announced that there would be an equipment change to the very last old DC-10 in the fleet; the one with paint so faded that it was hard to make out that it was even a United aircraft...

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Addicted to airline miles? Check out: The Airline Mileage Workshop

... in fact, it was an Aeroflot DC-10... all coach...

Destination: Wengen

...upon arriving in Moscow, Catman and Wanderlust discovered their luggage had been lost somewhere along the way, and they did not have any warm clothing with them to confront the blizzard raging outside the airport.

Besta's Cousin Gesta offered our heroes free warm fur coats, but Catman protested because they was made from a ugly blend of DOG and CAT SKIN.


[This message has been edited by Catman (edited 01-02-2001).]

Then RUDI suddenly came from out of the shadows bearing chocolates and coats saying he read on Flyertalk of our plight and came to the rescue.

Not too far behind came Rudi's sister, Punki, running, "Let's seek the higher grounds..." said she comfortingly...

They boarded an unmarked aircraft* orchestrated by Emailman's boss back in Texas, headed for the Alps.... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif




[This message has been edited by belle3388 (edited 01-03-2001).]

The Aeroflot flight SVO-ZRH offered an elegant dinner of sliced cucumber.

[This message has been edited by dgolds (edited 01-03-2001).]

And C and C Cola and Thunderbird as the drink choices, which prompted Catman to take out his supplies of PEPSI for wanderlust and himself and wine for Rudi and his sister, Punki.

... meanwhile kokonutz and auh20 enjoyed 'cashing in' all the free drink vouchers they got from the IAD-1K-angels at all three RCC's at Dulles airport (as long as they were able to walk, they changed locations from time to time) ...

Back on the Aeroflot flight SVO to ZRH, Catman had just settled back in what he and his commrades determined was not a DC-10 but a Russian made IL-96, Catman was bumped as Yaz, hopped up on Catnip sprung from his cat carrier and flung himself thru the screen door of the pilots cabin and onto the lap of the pilot!

Suddenly, Pam awoke. Through sleepy eyes, she saw her husband Bobby in the shower.

"I had the strangest dream", she said. "First of all, it made no sense. There were cats and Swiss people and drinking and Soviet-era aircraft. And the scenes kept jumping around, it was like that sequence from 'A Clockwork Orange'"

"Honey", Bobby said. "You need help. Lots of help".

while back in Texas, the rescue was being made into a two-part TV miniseries by Sci-Fi, with Richard Crenna as Rudi, Joanne Wharly (sp?)as Punki... Catman and wanderlust as themselves....
Leslie Nelson and Robert Stack were also cast as pilot and co-pilot... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by belle3388 (edited 01-04-2001).]

Soon to be an inflight movie- the cast prepared to find a suitable Aeroflot surplus overhead projector...while dreaming of trading drink coupons for the cheap vodka soaked headsets.

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MRKEY

Soon to be an inflight movie- the cast prepared to find a suitable Aeroflot surplus overhead projector...while dreaming of trading drink coupons for the cheap vodka soaked headsets.

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MRKEY

Instead of landing in Wengen, the pilot made a wrong turn and ended up at Newark International Airport where NJDavid, Boomer, Vulcan, Mr. Limo and a penniless, hungover Newself in a Lakers Jersey were waiting to give Catman and wanderlust Sam Adams, a sidecar for Rudi, a dirty martini for Punki and Poland Spring water for Yaz*

(*How Yaz got into the plane I have NO idea!)

Meanwhile, back at the RCC, Koko and AuH20 got locked in a closet looking for drink coupons and called Geo1004 to rescue them. ONly Geo was off on a date with Julia Roberts and turned his cell off.

Once freed from his cell, Geo arranged for Boston Coach (extra FF miles) to take him directly to the nearest airport lounge to try to upgrade on the first flight out. "Anywhere" was all replied when asked where he wanted to go. He shrieked, "Just make it quick, they're still after me!"