The worst part of being a solo traveler is...
Oct 24, 2020, 5:42 pm
#16
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,882
Several years ago, a host seated me at a table for dinner, and within moments a lady at a nearby table had picked up her things and come to my table. She said "Are you dining alone? Mind if I join you?". She sat down and proceeded to tell me all about herself and the trip that she was on, solo. She asked me about myself, what I was in town for and how long, etc, etc, etc.
She was nice enough, but I am hearing impaired and generally don't enjoy random conversations with strangers. It's a lot of work for me to engage like that, and I usually don't care enough to expend the effort.
After I returned to my hotel, I called my wife as I do every evening when on the road, and told her the funny story about some lady invading my table. She says "Honey - she was *hitting* on you."
Apparently I am deaf *and* oblivious.
She was nice enough, but I am hearing impaired and generally don't enjoy random conversations with strangers. It's a lot of work for me to engage like that, and I usually don't care enough to expend the effort.
After I returned to my hotel, I called my wife as I do every evening when on the road, and told her the funny story about some lady invading my table. She says "Honey - she was *hitting* on you."
Apparently I am deaf *and* oblivious.
Oct 24, 2020, 7:31 pm
#17
Suspended
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MSP
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Posts: 783
OK. I’ll tell the truth. I hate sleeping alone (pause for obvious jokes), it’s true. I’ve never had a problem dining alone (sorry guys, it’s totally different for a gal) as books are a safe, yet attractive friend. Admitted as noted above as time goes on my book is less of a shield and simply a friend. All that being said I love people and hearing their stories.. I love to talk to strangers on my own terms
Oct 24, 2020, 7:38 pm
#18
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: SEA
Posts: 2,021
I prefer a table to the bar when by myself. Not sure why. I've never had an issue with poor service because of it.
I love solo travel (hence my name and website). I agree with a commenter above: I find most people seem jealous of me rather than sympathetic.
I love solo travel (hence my name and website). I agree with a commenter above: I find most people seem jealous of me rather than sympathetic.
Oct 24, 2020, 7:42 pm
#19
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
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Normally a book works very well for claiming a (lounge, etc.) table if you must leave the table unattended for a few minutes. The idea is to leave something obvious at the table, but obviously not anything valuable (in monetary terms--yes, books can be valuable in other ways and some are even expensive, but it's not the same as leaving a purse or laptop unguarded.
Oct 24, 2020, 8:08 pm
#20
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Programs: Delta DM, Marriott Titanium, Hilton Diamond, National EE, AS MVP Gold 75K, AC 75K
Posts: 996
Even before COVID, I usually just get takeout and bring it back to my room to eat. I used eat at the bar, but figured could save the hour and catch up on TV / movies.
Oct 24, 2020, 8:21 pm
#21
Join Date: Apr 2015
Programs: Wyndham Diamond
Posts: 872
As a fresh faced female, I have to echo some of the other female travelers' experience here. I would love to be able to dine anywhere I want by myself but more than few experiences later, I learned this was just not a reasonable expectation. I don't mind some friendly or intriguing conversation with strangers, but I had been told on more than a few occasions by some of these strangers that a female dining or enjoying a drink by herself at a bar meant that she was looking to go home with someone that night (they used more vulgar words). Now when I do travel alone, I pick family friendly places to dine alone at night.
I have also had interesting business trip stories too as well. Last year I had to oversee some hardware and software installation on site at a pricey resort. After several days of working third shifts on the opposite coast where the weather did not agree with me (also was severely jetlagged), I had decided to treat myself with the company credit card on the last night before I was due to fly home. I had decided after a week and a half of grabbing some food off a quick self service restaurant and eating it in alone my hotel room, I was to have some fine beef with some fine scotch (alcohol would be paid by me and not reimbursed). I went to an expensive steakhouse within the resort. I went up to the hostess of the steakhouse, asked for table for party of one. The hostess looked at me up and down and said in a very sympathetic voice, "oh honey, the bar is more affordable. Trust me, they do their hamburgers very well". I believe she came from a very good place, but being hungry and exhausted as I was, I was beyond flustered. I found myself explaining that I was there on business working on a high profile attraction feature and that the meal would be on the employer. Even as I was saying it, I knew I did not have to explain to her anything at all, but that's all my brain could manage at the moment. I was eventually seated without any further incidents and the meal was fantastic.
I would add that when I did dine out with my male colleagues, we never had this problem. They had never had this problem happen to them as well when they were dining by themselves.
I have also had interesting business trip stories too as well. Last year I had to oversee some hardware and software installation on site at a pricey resort. After several days of working third shifts on the opposite coast where the weather did not agree with me (also was severely jetlagged), I had decided to treat myself with the company credit card on the last night before I was due to fly home. I had decided after a week and a half of grabbing some food off a quick self service restaurant and eating it in alone my hotel room, I was to have some fine beef with some fine scotch (alcohol would be paid by me and not reimbursed). I went to an expensive steakhouse within the resort. I went up to the hostess of the steakhouse, asked for table for party of one. The hostess looked at me up and down and said in a very sympathetic voice, "oh honey, the bar is more affordable. Trust me, they do their hamburgers very well". I believe she came from a very good place, but being hungry and exhausted as I was, I was beyond flustered. I found myself explaining that I was there on business working on a high profile attraction feature and that the meal would be on the employer. Even as I was saying it, I knew I did not have to explain to her anything at all, but that's all my brain could manage at the moment. I was eventually seated without any further incidents and the meal was fantastic.
I would add that when I did dine out with my male colleagues, we never had this problem. They had never had this problem happen to them as well when they were dining by themselves.
Oct 24, 2020, 8:30 pm
#22
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Programs: UA*1K MM
Posts: 23,293
Luckily I never have had to travel for work.
In my 20s, I travelled the world solo, then I met my forever travel partner, now we revisit places and explore new ones together.
Its good not to have to be social on trips now
In my 20s, I travelled the world solo, then I met my forever travel partner, now we revisit places and explore new ones together.
Its good not to have to be social on trips now
Oct 24, 2020, 9:56 pm
#24
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Sydney Australia
Programs: No programs & No Points!!!
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OK. I’ll tell the truth. I hate sleeping alone (pause for obvious jokes), it’s true. I’ve never had a problem dining alone (sorry guys, it’s totally different for a gal) as books are a safe, yet attractive friend. Admitted as noted above as time goes on my book is less of a shield and simply a friend. All that being said I love people and hearing their stories.. I love to talk to strangers on my own terms
Oct 25, 2020, 9:27 am
#25
Join Date: Aug 2017
Programs: Hilton Diamond, IHG Spire Ambassador, Global Entry
Posts: 2,825
I'll never understand the fear of judgement from eating alone. I know a lot of people like that. They absolutely will never go alone. Never mind that people are always judging others. How they look, how they act, what they wear, etc. So what's the difference here?
As with most things, there are pros and cons to traveling alone. Sometimes it's nice to be able to go at your own pace and relax. While other times, it's more fun to enjoy it with a second person.
As with most things, there are pros and cons to traveling alone. Sometimes it's nice to be able to go at your own pace and relax. While other times, it's more fun to enjoy it with a second person.
Oct 25, 2020, 1:43 pm
#26
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: GLA
Programs: BA Silver
Posts: 2,958
As a fresh faced female, I have to echo some of the other female travelers' experience here. I would love to be able to dine anywhere I want by myself but more than few experiences later, I learned this was just not a reasonable expectation. I don't mind some friendly or intriguing conversation with strangers, but I had been told on more than a few occasions by some of these strangers that a female dining or enjoying a drink by herself at a bar meant that she was looking to go home with someone that night (they used more vulgar words). Now when I do travel alone, I pick family friendly places to dine alone at night.
I have also had interesting business trip stories too as well. Last year I had to oversee some hardware and software installation on site at a pricey resort. After several days of working third shifts on the opposite coast where the weather did not agree with me (also was severely jetlagged), I had decided to treat myself with the company credit card on the last night before I was due to fly home. I had decided after a week and a half of grabbing some food off a quick self service restaurant and eating it in alone my hotel room, I was to have some fine beef with some fine scotch (alcohol would be paid by me and not reimbursed). I went to an expensive steakhouse within the resort. I went up to the hostess of the steakhouse, asked for table for party of one. The hostess looked at me up and down and said in a very sympathetic voice, "oh honey, the bar is more affordable. Trust me, they do their hamburgers very well". I believe she came from a very good place, but being hungry and exhausted as I was, I was beyond flustered. I found myself explaining that I was there on business working on a high profile attraction feature and that the meal would be on the employer. Even as I was saying it, I knew I did not have to explain to her anything at all, but that's all my brain could manage at the moment. I was eventually seated without any further incidents and the meal was fantastic.
I would add that when I did dine out with my male colleagues, we never had this problem. They had never had this problem happen to them as well when they were dining by themselves.
I have also had interesting business trip stories too as well. Last year I had to oversee some hardware and software installation on site at a pricey resort. After several days of working third shifts on the opposite coast where the weather did not agree with me (also was severely jetlagged), I had decided to treat myself with the company credit card on the last night before I was due to fly home. I had decided after a week and a half of grabbing some food off a quick self service restaurant and eating it in alone my hotel room, I was to have some fine beef with some fine scotch (alcohol would be paid by me and not reimbursed). I went to an expensive steakhouse within the resort. I went up to the hostess of the steakhouse, asked for table for party of one. The hostess looked at me up and down and said in a very sympathetic voice, "oh honey, the bar is more affordable. Trust me, they do their hamburgers very well". I believe she came from a very good place, but being hungry and exhausted as I was, I was beyond flustered. I found myself explaining that I was there on business working on a high profile attraction feature and that the meal would be on the employer. Even as I was saying it, I knew I did not have to explain to her anything at all, but that's all my brain could manage at the moment. I was eventually seated without any further incidents and the meal was fantastic.
I would add that when I did dine out with my male colleagues, we never had this problem. They had never had this problem happen to them as well when they were dining by themselves.
For me, it’s how to keep a table when you’re in a busy pub and need to go to the bar or toilet - especially if it’s summer and I have no jacket to leave on the back of my chair, or if it’s just too busy to risk leaving anything of any value. I’ve taken to a combination of what smokers do when they go out for a cigarette, putting a beer mat over the top of their pint, and asking people at the next table to keep it for me (I know when I’m asked to do this I become hyper vigilant for the person who asked, and it seems everyone else does too!).
Oct 25, 2020, 3:14 pm
#27
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: BNA (Nashville)
Programs: HH Diamond
Posts: 6,225
I understand women’s reluctance to eat solo in public, and I feel for you guys. I used to travel a lot for work around smaller cities and towns in the US and Canada and I could usually find that friendly restaurant with bar seating and interesting conversation, especially as I got older.
In Europe, I like to sit at a table and people watch, but have had some great conversations with people next to me, and have had offers to join people at their table. I’m an extrovert by nature, so I have good luck with that.
Asia is different and unless it’s another Westerner, I’m usually just people watching solo, but it’s so fascinating, especially Japan.
I hardly ever ate alone in Australia. People were so open and friendly and most places had communal style seating. It was very special.
To me, the worst part of being a solo traveler is when you’re in a country where you have very limited language proficiency and not very many people are comfortable in speaking English and so you can go days without having a conversation. I spent nine days in Tokyo and while I found it amazing it got a little lonely not being able to have conversations. Sometimes it’s fun to find a bar or place where are you know a lot of ex-pats are hanging out at and then you can actually have conversations with people. That’s what I did in Tokyo and I ended up meeting some other Americans from Brooklyn and we bar hopped for the evening and it was a lot of fun.
In Europe, I like to sit at a table and people watch, but have had some great conversations with people next to me, and have had offers to join people at their table. I’m an extrovert by nature, so I have good luck with that.
Asia is different and unless it’s another Westerner, I’m usually just people watching solo, but it’s so fascinating, especially Japan.
I hardly ever ate alone in Australia. People were so open and friendly and most places had communal style seating. It was very special.
To me, the worst part of being a solo traveler is when you’re in a country where you have very limited language proficiency and not very many people are comfortable in speaking English and so you can go days without having a conversation. I spent nine days in Tokyo and while I found it amazing it got a little lonely not being able to have conversations. Sometimes it’s fun to find a bar or place where are you know a lot of ex-pats are hanging out at and then you can actually have conversations with people. That’s what I did in Tokyo and I ended up meeting some other Americans from Brooklyn and we bar hopped for the evening and it was a lot of fun.
Oct 25, 2020, 3:29 pm
#28
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Wonderful Weald of kent
Programs: BAEC Bronze
Posts: 989
I've been travelling on my own for more years now than I care to remember - and yes, I can agree with every point made here.
yes, when dining or enjoying a drink, it's other women, usually with their husbands, who make me feel uncomfortable with snide comments about cougars or ladies of the night. Most men are perfectly friendly, and I'm of an age that it's pretty obvious that I'm not there looking for a hook up, and in any case, if I'm sitting quietly on my own, I'm usually reading my kindle or watching a film or boxset with earphones in.
i rarely, if ever, start a conversation except maybe with the bar staff seeking advice on cocktails , but if someone wants to talk, I'm usually willing to chat for a while, unless they are creepy, I'll always talk to them, but I don't want a holiday fling or anything else!
dining wise, yes single trVellers can be treated as second class citizens and get bad tables and crappy service which results in a bad tip but I much prefer being able to do what I want when I want and that to me is priceless
yes, when dining or enjoying a drink, it's other women, usually with their husbands, who make me feel uncomfortable with snide comments about cougars or ladies of the night. Most men are perfectly friendly, and I'm of an age that it's pretty obvious that I'm not there looking for a hook up, and in any case, if I'm sitting quietly on my own, I'm usually reading my kindle or watching a film or boxset with earphones in.
i rarely, if ever, start a conversation except maybe with the bar staff seeking advice on cocktails , but if someone wants to talk, I'm usually willing to chat for a while, unless they are creepy, I'll always talk to them, but I don't want a holiday fling or anything else!
dining wise, yes single trVellers can be treated as second class citizens and get bad tables and crappy service which results in a bad tip but I much prefer being able to do what I want when I want and that to me is priceless
Oct 25, 2020, 3:49 pm
#29
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: NW London and NW Sydney
Programs: BA Diamond, Hilton Bronze, A3 Diamond, IHG *G
Posts: 6,343
For me, it's when I'm carrying/wheeling a heavy backpack or suitcase and I would like to run somewhere to quickly check something out, if I'm by myself I obviously have to take all the stuff with me.
For example to see whether we can still make a train if we are, or the train is, slightly delayed (one person could hold the doors while the other brings the rest of the luggage), to head up to the next junction to see if our hotel is in that direction, to see if a bakery ahead has any pastries that look interesting. I have left my bag containing expensive equipment in the bushes by steps on mountain paths while I ran on up to see if it was worth continuing....
I've had no issues with eating alone although as a guy I can't comment on solo women's experiences. At crowded breakfast buffets quickly placing a full glass of juice and a croissant prevents my table from being reallocated while I'm collecting more food, and it's always slightly amusing to watch it happen to others.
For example to see whether we can still make a train if we are, or the train is, slightly delayed (one person could hold the doors while the other brings the rest of the luggage), to head up to the next junction to see if our hotel is in that direction, to see if a bakery ahead has any pastries that look interesting. I have left my bag containing expensive equipment in the bushes by steps on mountain paths while I ran on up to see if it was worth continuing....
I've had no issues with eating alone although as a guy I can't comment on solo women's experiences. At crowded breakfast buffets quickly placing a full glass of juice and a croissant prevents my table from being reallocated while I'm collecting more food, and it's always slightly amusing to watch it happen to others.
Oct 25, 2020, 4:51 pm
#30
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 606
But one of the worst things for me is when someone thinks that just because we happen to sit next to each other in the metal tube for few hours we should share our life stories and wouldn't take a hint that I just want to watch my movie or sleep. Quite a few times I've had an opening line of "Where you off to?" Hello?! We're on the same plane...
I would like to answer something like Jalalabad or Mogadishu and when met with confusion (but this flight is to FRA/TFS/JFK) I wink and whisper "Not after I speak with Captain" Haven't done it of course for obvious reasons
