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Do you mind if I borrow your pen?

Do you mind if I borrow your pen?

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Old Sep 8, 18, 5:07 am
  #91  
 
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This thread is hilarious. Pretty much confirms that 'love thy neighbour' is dead in the water. Putting aside expensive fountain pens and germs, for me it's not a matter of rights and obligations but just about helping someone out at little or no cost and inconvenience.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 8:44 am
  #92  
 
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My wife is one of those people who always carries a pen (plus a small notebook) and while she it happy loan a pen to someone else, she cannot understand why people don't have pens on them.
It's rubbed off on me although I never have the forethought to stick a pen in my pocket - I now have a 3" Space pen clipped to my keyring and I'm more likely now to jot down things that I never bothered before.
I'm quite happy to lend it out but maybe that's because the cap stays firmly on the keyring :-)
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Old Sep 8, 18, 9:08 am
  #93  
 
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Of course the OP's seatmate has the right to lend or not, and explain or not, but the "Yes I do" response seems unduly harsh. "I'm sorry, but I don't lend pens because I don't always get them back" or "I'm sorry, but this pen means a lot to me so I don't like to lend it out" (unlikely the reason if it was a Bic) might have reduced the OP's surprise. I think "Do you mind if I borrow your pen?" is perfectly polite.

Seth
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Old Sep 8, 18, 9:28 am
  #94  
 
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Originally Posted by sethweinstein View Post
Of course the OP's seatmate has the right to lend or not, and explain or not, but the "Yes I do" response seems unduly harsh. "I'm sorry, but I don't lend pens because I don't always get them back" or "I'm sorry, but this pen means a lot to me so I don't like to lend it out" (unlikely the reason if it was a Bic) might have reduced the OP's surprise. I think "Do you mind if I borrow your pen?" is perfectly polite.

Seth
I agree 100% but I was shocked to see your profile say "Location: NYC." If I were to live there, I'd probably find most "unduly harsh" responses to be status quo.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 10:34 am
  #95  
 
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Originally Posted by Saint4805 View Post
This thread is hilarious. Pretty much confirms that 'love thy neighbour' is dead in the water. Putting aside expensive fountain pens and germs, for me it's not a matter of rights and obligations but just about helping someone out at little or no cost and inconvenience.
Yeah, but you're a saint
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Old Sep 8, 18, 10:44 am
  #96  
 
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Originally Posted by deniah View Post
that aside, his point is still valid.

to tack on that, some carriers are omitting pens from their J amenity kits. the 0.10c or whatever unit cost it is for a pen, i'd imagine is far more useful to most people than the 0.15c miniature tube of hand cream and lip balm (or maybe theyre even free as part of co-marketing exercise)
My hands are dry, so those hand cream or lotion are useful for GE kiosks and countries where pax are fingerprinted.

Pens in the kit are generally tiny - thet are hard to write with.

I generally have lots of pens in my bag from hotel stays. I let other pax keep them.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 11:06 am
  #97  
 
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Originally Posted by davie355 View Post
I agree 100% but I was shocked to see your profile say "Location: NYC." If I were to live there, I'd probably find most "unduly harsh" responses to be status quo.
Haha -- we're nicer than our reputation suggests, in a very large number of very specific situations.

Seth
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Old Sep 8, 18, 3:25 pm
  #98  
 
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Through the course of my travels, I quickly learned that having a pen with me to fill in landing, customs or immigration cards on board could save me 30 minutes or more in an immigration queue. Thus I now always carry a cheap one with me. Without fail, my seatmate or someone nearby will ask to borrow it and I'm absolutely fine with this, although occasionally I'll have to ask for it back if it goes on a tour of the aircraft.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 5:25 pm
  #99  
 
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I normally carry a pen with me, but sometimes I (gasp!) forget things or lose them en route. I wish I were perfect, but sadly I'm not.

Luckily, when I've asked to borrow a pen, the lender has cheerfully obliged, apparently without dismissing me for being stupid or otherwise undeserving of such a gross imposition. Conversely, I lend my pen without a hassle. But then, I'm back in Y with the other imperfect amateurs and I just carry a tacky old Pilot or Pentel.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 5:27 pm
  #100  
 
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On a side note, if I were to borrow someone's pen to fill out said forms, would it be more polite for me to pass it around and lend it to other hapless travellers or return it to the lender?

-James
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Old Sep 8, 18, 6:09 pm
  #101  
 
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Originally Posted by sethweinstein View Post
Of course the OP's seatmate has the right to lend or not, and explain or not, but the "Yes I do" response seems unduly harsh. "I'm sorry, but I don't lend pens because I don't always get them back" or "I'm sorry, but this pen means a lot to me so I don't like to lend it out" (unlikely the reason if it was a Bic) might have reduced the OP's surprise. I think "Do you mind if I borrow your pen?" is perfectly polite.

Seth
No explanation is required when you decline the request of a complete stranger to borrow your personal property.

What was rude was the OP's comment to his wife.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 6:36 pm
  #102  
 
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Originally Posted by sethweinstein View Post
"I'm sorry, but I don't lend pens because I don't always get them back"...might have reduced the OP's surprise.
It likely would have led to the OP then saying "But I'll be careful with it. I'll be sure to return it," as if in a negotiation.

The OP was rude ("I literally chuckled out loud ... and loud enough for him to hear said ''Who wouldnt let someone a pen!"), indignant at a total stranger because he didn't get his way.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 7:57 pm
  #103  
 
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I disagree emphatically with the last two posts. Declining to lend a pen is perfectly fine. Declining in a curt manner is demeaning and dismissive. A substantive explanation ("the pen is expensive, sentimental, etc.") is unnecessary, but implicit acknowledgement that the request is eminently reasonable is necessary. "I'm sorry, I prefer to keep my pen to myself. Perhaps you may ask a flight attendant?"

Polite behavior all around keeps everyone comfortable. Only in the unlikely event someone insists or demands to borrow the pen, is a more direct "No, sir/ma'am," appropriate.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 8:32 pm
  #104  
 
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Originally Posted by jackb1 View Post
Sounds strange he wouldn't lend someone a pen, although the staff on the plane would presumably have one.

Still, there are certain way to go about things - this wasn't one of them!
Not if you fly on Delta. My last trip to YVR - I forgot my pen and the "flight attendant" was just as pissy as the person described by OP. She never did bring me one.
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Old Sep 8, 18, 9:13 pm
  #105  
 
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Originally Posted by Badenoch View Post
Ah yes, the me me me age. I don't have a pen. Lend ME yours! I need to fill out MY form! You didn't lend ME your pen? I will make a snotty comment to MY wife who is sitting beside ME! Because you didn't lend ME your pen I am going to whine on the the internet about it.

What is even less common these days is self-reliance.
Here's a really basic way to know if somebody is well bred: ask them for something. If they say "absolutely, have my pen" or "not a problem, work in your set" or "of course you can have the last donut" you can tell they have been well bred.

If instead they whine about "me first" and "self reliance" you can be rather sure they attended a terrible school.
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